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RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 11:47:00 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Can I ask, why do you think she owes you? Im just curious. Was the relationship over? Did you still talk? This is actually me wondering.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to DupedDom)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 11:47:45 AM   
DupedDom


Posts: 65
Joined: 1/3/2008
Status: offline 		Closure, I want closure

(in reply to angelicbitch)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 11:48:47 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DupedDom

Closure, I want closure


I would say that her being collared by someone else and your still being with your wife is closure.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to DupedDom)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 11:49:33 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DupedDom

In any other relationship, I would agree. I thought there was some respect due a person that you once called Master!! Or does it end when at the subs whim??


WTF!!!!

Yes, if the person is acting as a Master and has earned that respect then it comes naturaly.

Part of that is things like HONESTY, TRUST, INTEGRITY.... things entirely lacking in your actions. If I expressed My full feelings about lying cheating...'people' such as yourself I would be, quite rightly, banned from this forum. How can anyone trust you when you betray the trust of the person who you have supposedly committed to as a life partner. If you lie to her then you will lie to ANYONE.

you are owed nothing except contempt!

Use whatever lable you wish but in My eyes you where far from being even the same SPECIES as a Master (One worthy of such a lable).

The only good thing about your OP is that hopefully it may warn some otherwise unsuspecting subs to keep WELL clear. Bad thing of course is that you will (If you haven't already got a host of other accounts) simply change profiles and hide.


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to DupedDom)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 11:53:16 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Op You were done wrong. Im sure there is a country song out there that agrees with you. You gave it your best shot. Im sure that there is another sub out there for you. Go out there with your head held high. Not the one in your pants and find that sub.  

(in reply to DupedDom)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 11:53:47 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

Wow, I did not realize that there were so many willing to cast the first stone. Not one of you has ever cheated??? Ever??? Thanks for your honest but I think slightly hypocritical comments.


No...not ever....i never ever cheated.  I sucked it up and realized i probably would never have a Dom/sub relationship.  Although that made me sad, i owed my husband for the years we'd been together...some good, some bad.  It wasn't his fault that he had no interest in all this.  He knew of my interest and told me i could do whatever i felt necessary to stay happy.  It just didn't seem right or fair or moral to have an affair while i was married...even with his permission.    

Fast forward to the present time......

Husband got sick and passed away several years ago.  I was finally able to seek out the real life community i knew existed in my state.  At an event i met a wonderful man from MT who has since become my Dom and i am his 24/7 collared sub.  The best part is that i do not have the guilt of being a cheater to dampen my newfound happiness. 

quote:

Or does it end when at the subs whim??  


Excuse me??!!  If the sub you refer to is your wife, then yes, she gave you a choice and you decided to abide by her rules which means no extracurricular play time for you.  If the sub you refer to is your married sub...well....it seems it was more your wife's whim than hers so why keep blaming her for what your wife demanded of you? 

(in reply to DupedDom)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 11:55:03 AM   
LadyRainfire


Posts: 6040
Joined: 2/20/2008
Status: offline 		  The sub has the right to seek another without your permission, once the relationship was terminated, by you, in your own words. Feel hurt? Betrayed? (Yes, I looked at your profile.) Why? There are no grounds there, the relationship was over. Grow up, get over it and rather than actively seeking someone online, as your profile indicates, pay attention to your wife, she whom you are married to, that you also claim "you don't want to break your vows again". As a submissive, I retain the right to end a relationship as much as the dominant does. Being submissive doesn't mean I can't end it if or when it's called for. A submissive is just as human as a dominant and has the same right to move on with her (or his) life.

A real Dominant (or decent human for that matter) would realize their error and wish the sub well with her new master. And then move on themself.

_____________________________

"Desire is an insatiable beast. Sample your strongest dreams, and you will only crave more." ~ Master

~ one half of "L&L"~

My current state of mind

(in reply to DupedDom)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 12:20:19 PM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline 		Assuming you're for real, which I find hard to believe, you have virtually no rights except the following:

You have the right to remain silent. I think you should have used it in this case. To quote Abraham Lincoln, "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."

(in reply to DupedDom)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 12:57:41 PM   
DupedDom


Posts: 65
Joined: 1/3/2008
Status: offline 		I wanted the dom/sub relationship to continue, I wanted her to try and give things a chance with her husband. I know I was grasping at straws but I could not let her go, I wanted to try on line discipline, finding a local dom/couple that she could visit for her punishment. Selfish, I admit but I think she should have given it a try. Instead she left her husband that adores her and found another dom.

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 1:00:48 PM   
LilMissHaven


Posts: 734
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

...Do I have any rights to ask her or her new Dom, that they at least ask me, before they comtinue their relationship...


ask your wife.
 
it only seems logical that since you ended the relationship with your sub upon your wife finding out about it...she would be the one to let you know what your "rights" are, concerning intimate relationships with folks that aren't her.


I second that motion!

_____________________________

I must first learn to master myself, before I can truly be owned by one.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 1:01:22 PM   
DupedDom


Posts: 65
Joined: 1/3/2008
Status: offline 		I will quit shaving and put on a white shirt, button it up to my neck, then will I be more like a Master. Right Raven!

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 1:02:43 PM   
DupedDom


Posts: 65
Joined: 1/3/2008
Status: offline 		I think the roids are going to your head Hardbody!

(in reply to hardbodysub)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 1:03:57 PM   
corsetgirl


Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline 		Sorry OP, have to agree with the others.  This is why I placed the comments on my profile that I don't mind being with the married doms as long as their wives are aware of the situation.  If I had to meet a married dom, then I would be meeting the wife separated and face to face to see if she supported his activities or whether she was doing this just to please him.  I would also understand and respect their limits as well.  If the wife and the dom are involved in the lifestyle, then that would be no problem with me because I would want to play with both parties!

It is as simple as that, Karma is hell when it bites you in the butt and I always have the policy of being honest with those who I want to play with because it has a lot to do with emotional and physical security.  I think you need to step back and evaluate your situation at hand because divorces can be messy and costly, plus if you have children, you might lose their respect for you.

< Message edited by corsetgirl -- 4/21/2008 1:19:47 PM >

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 1:06:20 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		No. You do not. You let your sub go and you broke it off, she's a free agent and she nor he owes you anything.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DupedDom

I am married and so is my sub. My wife found out about us and i told my sub that I could not see her again. We tried finding some alternative ways that we could keep our dom/sub relationship alive but could not find anything that suited her. That was in Sept. 07. We talked a bit and she told me that she wanted another master but I resisted. I found out last week that she has been collared by another.

Do I have any rights to ask her or her new Dom, that they at least ask me, before they comtinue their relationship. It is sort of after the fact but I want my due.

(in reply to DupedDom)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 1:08:03 PM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DupedDom

Wow, I did not realize that there were so many willing to cast the first stone. Not one of you has ever cheated??? Ever??? Thanks for your honest but I think slightly hypocritical comments.


I think what's disturbing me and some folks here is your apparent lack of remorse for betraying the trust of your wife and sub both and your concern and focus on what is due you. Whether others have cheated in a relationship or not is not relevant to the issue, OP.Even your own cheating is not the issue to me, but rather your post-cheating attitude, sir.

There is no integrity in cheating. That's why it's called cheating, even by you. Since a healthy D/s relationship must be based on trust , as must a marriage,I think you managed to betray the trust due both women. As for what is due you ?


Since your attitude seems to be that everyone cheats and that you simply got caught and have expressed no remorse or intention to honor your wife and your marriage vows, I assume ( yes, I know, assumptions are just that ) that you simply intend to be more careful in the future. If that is the case, you are due nothing, including respect.


_____________________________

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall ,frozen , dead, from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."- D.H. L

" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti



(in reply to DupedDom)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 1:11:37 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DupedDom

I wanted the dom/sub relationship to continue, I wanted her to try and give things a chance with her husband. I know I was grasping at straws but I could not let her go, I wanted to try on line discipline, finding a local dom/couple that she could visit for her punishment. Selfish, I admit but I think she should have given it a try. Instead she left her husband that adores her and found another dom.


Well firstly from personal experiance online Domination can be unfullfilling, its not for everyone and asking that of her yeah is selfish, but you say here yourself she didnt actually want to do it, she decided on a differant path. The thing is that your dynamic changed, it became something differant to what she initially agreed to so she has every right to leave it, hell she has a right to leave it if all you did was leave the loo seat up. She did leave it you seem aware of that, after a relationship is over then no one owes anyone closure.

I think its fantastic that she has decided to leave her husband and pursue something that she finds importnat, better than wanting to have her cake and eat it too. I always think that sometimes we have to loose one thing to gain another. Just because you thought she should stay with him doesnt mean she should, no he can find someone who wants him and she has clearly done so herself. A lesson is there if you look for it. You were not giving her what she needed, it is not only unfair but also unrealistic to demand for her to stay in something that makes her miserable.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to DupedDom)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 1:13:03 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DupedDom


Do I have any rights to ask her or her new Dom, that they at least ask me, before they comtinue their relationship. It is sort of after the fact but I want my due.


your  "due":  your wife divorcing the bozo she is married to.


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to DupedDom)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 1:13:30 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Op You were done wrong. Im sure there is a country song out there that agrees with you. You gave it your best shot. Im sure that there is another sub out there for you. Go out there with your head held high. Not the one in your pants and find that sub.  


Ray, first you grab my boob while trying to steal my heart.  Now you're grabbing at straws while trying to steal my title.  Take that dress off, you CANNOT be the Goddess of Sarcasm!

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 1:17:28 PM   
DupedDom


Posts: 65
Joined: 1/3/2008
Status: offline 		Thank you all, obviously, you are all perfect. All of your relationships are cookie cutters and there is one set of rules for everyone. There is no perfect Dom and no prerfect sub. Just people that are perfect for each other. I though, even in the midst of my infidelity that I had found the perfect women, someone that satisfied a carnal urge in me like no other had before. I am in my fifties, kids are graduating and hopefully moving out, I have the rest of my life to either find someone special and live every day ot the fullest, or to stay put. To give my grandkids and my extended family some stability. I made a noble choice and had trouble dealing with the consequences, that makes me weak, I know.

All I expected from the woman that I had grown to love so much as a woman and as my servant, to show me the last bit of respect. That is too much to ask???

(in reply to DupedDom)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 1:19:24 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
~ Fast Reply (Question actually...) ~
 
Since this has been moved to this section, why it has been begs the question.

Was the tread moved using they homonym aspect of section title word 'poll' an indication that the MOD thought OP's question deserved to have his intelligence compared to a pole?
Or...
 
Is raising the integrity and trust aspects of cheating now considered 'Random Stupidity'?
 
Sorry - I've got a 'question authority' fetish!

(in reply to cjan)
Profile   Post #: 60
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