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RE: A Training Mistake - 4/25/2008 4:59:15 AM

pettingdragons

Posts: 421
Joined: 8/16/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mypain56

i am not a slave, i am a submissive and i have never been collared, This is the way i am being trained by my Daddy and so far He is very satisfied with the results.
melly/srln-654-049-049

mypain56
i am curious about the srln #, if i remember correctly isnt it a slave registery?

thanks
pamela
**Master Dragon's considered slave**

(in reply to mypain56)

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Post #: 41

RE: A Training Mistake - 4/25/2008 6:38:54 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiteFox77

I seem to have made a mistake in training my 24/7 slave girl.

it all boils down to is that I told her to do something and it didn't happen.

You rather answer Your Own question... if the cause was a glitch in consistency, then making things clear, bringing her into line and then STAYING consistent should sort it.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

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Post #: 42

RE: A Training Mistake - 4/25/2008 9:09:12 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

You rather answer Your Own question... if the cause was a glitch in consistency, then making things clear, bringing her into line and then STAYING consistent should sort it.

The things he tells her to do also have to be doable. Remember this is the mother of his young children he's talking about. So when he told her to expose herself in public within ten minutes to pinch her nipples, she had to do so in front of their offspring. And if she was at the grocery store when he told her to do this, she risked arrest for public indecency and loss of her minors.

He doesn't think things through which is why she has to censor stuff.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

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Post #: 43

RE: A Training Mistake - 4/25/2008 11:22:01 AM

WhiteFox77

Posts: 66
Joined: 4/21/2008
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DesFIP: The more you type, the more you prove that you're the one that's not thinking.

Do you think I have ever once instructed her to publicly exposer herself when our child was present? No, I haven't.

Does she really have to pull her shirt up and exposer her entire breast to pinch a nipple? No, all she has to do is reach under her shirt, and without exposing herself at all, giver her nipple a pinch. Even if she did it in the grocery checkout line it would just look like she was adjusting her bra. Not to mention the idea behind giving a time windows is so she can find a way to do it discreetly, public bathrooms do exist after all.

In you previous comment, you mentioned something about anal sex, which I have (until now) never mentioned. I have no idea where you got the idea since her an I don't even engage in anal sex. How did you even come up with this faulty assumption? In that same post you mentioned something about what is she supposed to do if one of my instructions makes it so she can't sleep. One of the first things I told her is that she MUST ALWAYS talk to me if one of my instructions is causing her problems. Even if she has to wake me up, or call me in the middle of a meeting at work.

You keep making assumptions about thing, and you can't even imagine how completely wrong you are. The simple fact is that you have no idea what your talking about. Not to mention, do you really think we're the only ones on this board or site with these kinks. Do you think I'm the only person on this board that ever had a slave keep a dildo in over night? And why don't you do a search and find out how many people list exhibitionism as one of the things the like or love to do?

What her and I enjoy doing in a consensual relationship is OUR business. You have no right what so ever to criticize us and I know that it's against the board policy for you to do so. If you continue to do so I will have to involve one of the board moderators. Further, telling me what I should and shouldn't ask my slave to do is down right rude. If I were your master I'd be deeply ashamed to have my slave behaving the way you are.

By the way, have you even attempted to find out more information about what you are talking about? Have you tried following the link that is at the bottom of most of my posts that says "Learn more about us". I seriously doubt it, because if you had you would have read her journal where less than a week ago she posted "I'm so happy in our relationship now" or you would have contacted her to find out what her opinion of the situation really is. But of course then you would be forced to admit that you are completely wrong in your assumpitions, so why risk it when it's easier just to keep making assuptions without knowing what your talking about.

Regarding having her put lubricant on herself at night: IF my girl tells me that there is something about doing this that she doesn't like I will certainly explore options with her. But it's up to her to bring it up to me, not up to others to complain on her behafe.

< Message edited by WhiteFox77 -- 4/25/2008 11:46:46 AM >

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Sincerely
WhiteFox77
Learn more about us at http://SexySubmissive.RedFoxDen.net

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Post #: 44

RE: A Training Mistake - 4/25/2008 12:18:08 PM

Floggings4You

Posts: 240
Joined: 12/18/2006
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I think this is the key to the whole thing.

If you aren't one hundred percent 'on your game', you can't expect your sub to be one hundred percent on hers. If she sees you letting some of your things slide, she'll see no reason not to let some of her own things slide, too.

My submissive once admitted to Me that she'd missed one of her assigned daily tasks one day earlier in the week. I didn't see her that night, and We saw each Other later in the week, but it was at an event with her family, and We were never alone. (We don't live together.)

The next weekend, she and I did have a chance to play, and the first thing I did was tell her that she would be punished for not completing the assigned task every day the previous week.

She was impressed that I remembered her telling Me of her error, and was very pleased that she wasn't going to 'get away with' failing to perform her duties.

The punishment was actually very enjoyable for both of Us, and it only reinforced for her that I don't let things slide...

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiteFox77

The following through is the hard part. I'll admit I'm inharently lazy. Something that I learned long ago isn't compatable with being a Master/Dom. Just as she has thing to learn and over come to become a proper slave, I have things to over come to become a proper Master. Funny enough having someone at your beck-and-call is a lot of work. All to often I've heard myself say "It's not that important so I'll let it go this time..."

It's not so much that I'm "cracking down", more of just doing what I said I'd do in the first place.

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Post #: 45

RE: A Training Mistake - 4/25/2008 7:40:08 PM

Huntertn

Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
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Redo your rules..If you willing to make them...You have to be willing to correct for them. If not, you can sure as hell can believe she thinks your never paying attention to Any of them. Whatever it takes, keep it up..to let her go {and yes, she knows your letting her go]means to her..she is not important enough in Your life to care

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Post #: 46

RE: A Training Mistake - 4/25/2008 7:59:51 PM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

Just to be a provocateur, from his website (bolding mine):

Tasks/rules that don't have as much importance, but are still expected to be followed all the time unless she gets a specific exception. She may use any "get out of jail free" passes I give her to avoid punishments for these things:

Not wear panties under a skirt or dress without permission.
Keep a large size ball toy in her vagina or wear the metal anal plug for all her group meetings.
Have at least two orgasms every day.
Answer any phone, email, or IM attempts I make to contact her.
Put lubricant on/in her vagina every night before bed so I can finger her or put things inside her after I get home from work at night.
Do not remove a toy I put in or ask her to wear without permission.

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"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

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Post #: 47

RE: A Training Mistake - 4/25/2008 8:19:48 PM

WhiteFox77

Posts: 66
Joined: 4/21/2008
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Yep, I made a page that lists exactly what is expected, and another page that lists exactly what the penalties will be. That way everyone knows what to expect.

Oh, and thank you for taking the time to look at the site.

BEFORE everyone goes nutts, please keep in mind that it says AS MUCH IMPORTANCE. Meaning that thing like doing laundry, grocery shopping, and not over spending are considered more important. It does NOT say the tasks are not important, it just says there are things more important.

< Message edited by WhiteFox77 -- 4/25/2008 8:47:28 PM >

_____________________________

Sincerely
WhiteFox77
Learn more about us at http://SexySubmissive.RedFoxDen.net

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Post #: 48

RE: A Training Mistake - 4/25/2008 9:51:41 PM

variation30

Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiteFox77

I seem to have made a mistake in training my 24/7 slave girl. I'm not sure when or how it happened, but she's gotten the idea that there different instructions from me have different levels of importance. As a result of this, she's gotten it into her head that when she doesn't follow the instructions for something she has determined is "not important" she expects little to no punishment, probably because I've been to lax in that area. On the flip side, to me it all boils down to is that I told her to do something and it didn't happen. What it was, or how important it appears to her, isn't my concern, the fact that my instuctions aren't being fallowed is.

Before I just crack down on her, I'm hoping that people that have actually gone through this problem can tell me what they tried in order to resolve it, and what worked and didn't work.

--------------------------
Sincerely
WhiteFox77

it sounds like it's time to put her down.

_____________________________

all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

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Post #: 49

RE: A Training Mistake - 5/11/2008 6:16:45 PM

Talthas

Posts: 7
Joined: 5/11/2008
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You seem to have quite a lot of rules in place. You have, yourself, admitted that you are lazy and don't always feel like coming up with suitable punishments for minor infractions. You have also said (rightly, I believe) that this laxity has produced the feeling in her that some things you tell her are "not important," so she forgets them.

So, this is my question: why would you make a rule in the first place if it's not important? As a good Master, you have a responsibility to maintain consistency and stability in your relationship. If you can't summon the motivation to enforce a rule, then you should discard it. It's that simple. If you are not willing to enforce every rule you make, you will quickly erode your authority and you will lose the respect of your slave. This is a general principle of psychology, nothing fancy.

Instead of prioritizing rules and giving her very detailed instructions on what is "important" and "not important," you might consider trying to pare down the rules set to the essential set of rules that really *are* important and are never up for debate until you can be sure that she will follow all of the rules consistently. Once she can do that, add more gradually until she can carry out everything you want.

It seems you would be better off micromanaging things for a little while and actively giving orders for certain "unimportant" things to be done rather than setting up standing rules about them. If you cannot be bothered with making such orders, then it's obvious that you don't want the thing in question badly enough to make it a permanent rule. If you don't care about something enough to be active about it, why should you let it complicate your slave's life needlessly? Doing that seems cruel and counterproductive.

From what I'm seeing, it seems that some of your rules are an attempt to automate some of the parts of a good D/s relationship, or to formalize things that should already happen without needing to have a rule about it. You might want to ask yourself whether you're giving her rules about some things just for the sake of giving rules. Do some deep soul-searching and see if I'm not right.

I'm not trying to criticize you or to tell you how to run your relationship. I'm just making some observations about what I've read so far, based on basic psychological principles.

I wish you the best of luck.

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Post #: 50

RE: A Training Mistake - 5/11/2008 7:10:23 PM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
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I guess you have three children now, rather than two. If you can't make it clear to her, which one would normally do in a conversation, I don't know what I could add to your fray. Her determinations either come from you, and you need to figure out what you do wrong in your communications, or she is running rings around you, in which case you have to ask yourself how come you don't notice. But without talking to her I couldn't begin to guess - between the lover-turned-slave, the other lover-turned-fiance, and the kids, it is all a bit, umm, complicated.

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Post #: 51

RE: A Training Mistake - 5/11/2008 7:24:27 PM

mstrj69

Posts: 295
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I have to agree that if the rule is not important, then why have it anyways. As for your list of rules and punishments and repeat punishments, the first is not keeping up with the dishes. The initial punishment is having to do the dishes by hand while supervised. The repeat is not being allowed to go to bed until all dishes are done for 7 straight days. That implies after the 7 days, she does not have to get them done before she comes to bed. Why not change that to having to do the dishes by hand for 7 days straight. Later on you make it so that a repeat mistake on her not staying within her budget is not getting an allowance any longer. So if she makes a repeat mistake, why ever stay within her budget again as you have nothing to take away from her. Why not go for no more allowance for each week cumulative based on the number of repeat mistakes she makes. Thus she can see eventually getting her allowance back if she stays within her budget.
I would say the reducing it to writing is a good idea and probably has helped out the most. Have you both discussed what could be a valid reason for missing something such as a phone call or IM. If she is busy in another part of the house doing laundry and does not see the computer and the IM, or is busy answerring the door for the UPS guy that has a package that has to be signed before it will be released, she might miss an IM.

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Post #: 52

RE: A Training Mistake - 5/12/2008 7:39:32 AM

Wolfspet

Posts: 143
Joined: 1/11/2004
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I read the rules you listed..
French maid costume? With 3 kids running about?

How about you sit down, get realistic. With 3 kids sometimes the laundry piles up and the dishes get out of control.

Make less rules that are more easily enforceable, and get consistent with maintaining them, then expand as you can as the wee ones grow older. By that time the old "rules" will have become habit, and the new ones become the focus, negating the old ones being rules at all. They will just be part of daily routine. Worked for us some 20 years ago.

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Post #: 53