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TPE Relationships (and dealing with outsider reactions ... - 10/11/2005 7:44:23 PM

HentaiGamerKitty

Posts: 131
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

Greetings :)

I've been lightly involved in bdsm relationships for a couple of years now and have finally met someone that I feel comfortable having a TPE relationship with. I think he might just be my "Master Right". This was a hard decision for me to make, but now that I have , I've been extremly happy with the results.

My question revolves around my paranoia about others finding out about this..All of my friends, several of my coworkers, and a number of family members are aware that I'm "sexually adventurous" and this doesn't bother me a bit. However, I bristle at the prospect that they may one day discover the true nature of the relationship I have with my Master.

I don't ever intend on telling them and he has solemnly promised he would never "out" me to the vanilla world, but I still worry that people (especially my family) will sense that there is something "not quite normal" about us.

My mother, for instance, is a woman who is very dominant in nature and brainwashed me for years into believing that it's "wrong" for a women to take orders from a man in any circumstance. She believes a woman should always be in total control of the relationship. This upbringing made it difficult for me to accept the fact that a 24/7 relationship might be good for me.

I don't have any problem with her knowing that I'm kinky...she already knows that. She doesn't care if I like to be tied up and spanked. Big deal. But if she were to find out that (heaven forbid!) he has control of the checkbook, my diet, my exercise, etc, that he tells me to do the housework, that I have to ask his permission for things, etc, she would absolutely freak out and all of a sudden decide that he's an abusive control freak (nothing could be further from the truth!)

My life is infinitely better now that he's in control. I'm healthier, I eat better, I exercise more, I have higher self confidence, my finances are in a better state, etc. But she (and other people) would not understand this.

Has anyone else experienced similiar worries and fears? Or am I just weird? Why is it that I'm so comfy talking about my sex life (I talk about it quite openly and frankly) but yet I get so scared of people finding out that he's in control OUTSIDE of the bedroom??

Post #: 1

RE: TPE Relationships (and dealing with outsider reacti... - 10/11/2005 8:11:50 PM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

yeah. Heck i still get issues with my mother about it. Cos she sorta knows. LOL she told me the other day that she's "sorry for my submissiveness" and thinks i'll one day regret it. i'm in a TPE relationship, so if you want feel free to email.

(in reply to HentaiGamerKitty)

Post #: 2

RE: TPE Relationships (and dealing with outsider reacti... - 10/11/2005 8:52:42 PM

maybemaybenot

Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline

A few things stand out to me in your questions.

How is your Mother going to realize this information? You have stated you are not going to " out " yourself and your Master is not going to " out" you to the Vanilla world, which Mother is a part of. Soo.. they only way she will find out is if you tell her or if He tells her. Which makes me wonder ... do you have an underlying mistrust of your Masters word?

As to why you have no problem talking about your kinky sex life... well, that just may be because there is power in sex and you may talk about your kinky side to show friends and family your power and control. You say your Mother is an always in control type person, maybe your overt openess about your sexual escapades is an approval seeking act, to prove to Mother that you are in control.

I also live in a Vanilla world and noone has sensed anything other than what I have chosen to tell them. Most of us work, have families and friends.. we aren't wearing name tags < that i know of, lol> that let the whole world know who we are, unless we choose to tell them. We do what is comfortable for our own situations.

My suspision is that you want to tell others. You want to wear your lifestyle like a badge of honor and as an act of rebellion against the " controlling" people in your life < ie: Mother> I suspect that the fact that your mother's issues of control spilled over into controlling her children also. And making them feel that if they did not by into her thoery of " who you should be", that they were failures and/or inadequate.

Kinky=control=mothers approval
TPE= weakness=mother's disapproval

Amatuer psycho babble??? Perhaps... but something for you to consider.

maybemaybenot

< Message edited by maybemaybenot -- 10/11/2005 8:55:53 PM >

(in reply to HentaiGamerKitty)

Post #: 3

RE: TPE Relationships (and dealing with outsider reacti... - 10/11/2005 9:52:10 PM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I don't ever intend on telling them and he has solemnly promised he would never "out" me to the vanilla world, but I still worry that people (especially my family) will sense that there is something "not quite normal" about us.

I'm not sure I understand what it is you're so worried about. It's OK if your family knows he ties you up and does all sorts of painful things to you, but it's not OK for them to find out that, because of him, and with his guidance, you eat a healthy diet and balanced your budget?

People are only going to know what you tell them. Beyond that, the best they can do is speculate. But what's the worst that could happen if you DID tell them? You're an adult now.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich

(in reply to HentaiGamerKitty)

Post #: 4

RE: TPE Relationships (and dealing with outsider reacti... - 10/12/2005 12:23:24 AM

thnkiwntaspank

Posts: 26
Joined: 1/16/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HentaiGamerKitty

Greetings :)

I've been lightly involved in bdsm relationships for a couple of years now and have finally met someone that I feel comfortable having a TPE relationship with. I think he might just be my "Master Right". This was a hard decision for me to make, but now that I have , I've been extremly happy with the results.

My question revolves around my paranoia about others finding out about this..All of my friends, several of my coworkers, and a number of family members are aware that I'm "sexually adventurous" and this doesn't bother me a bit. However, I bristle at the prospect that they may one day discover the true nature of the relationship I have with my Master.

I don't ever intend on telling them and he has solemnly promised he would never "out" me to the vanilla world, but I still worry that people (especially my family) will sense that there is something "not quite normal" about us.

My mother, for instance, is a woman who is very dominant in nature and brainwashed me for years into believing that it's "wrong" for a women to take orders from a man in any circumstance. She believes a woman should always be in total control of the relationship. This upbringing made it difficult for me to accept the fact that a 24/7 relationship might be good for me.

I don't have any problem with her knowing that I'm kinky...she already knows that. She doesn't care if I like to be tied up and spanked. Big deal. But if she were to find out that (heaven forbid!) he has control of the checkbook, my diet, my exercise, etc, that he tells me to do the housework, that I have to ask his permission for things, etc, she would absolutely freak out and all of a sudden decide that he's an abusive control freak (nothing could be further from the truth!)

My life is infinitely better now that he's in control. I'm healthier, I eat better, I exercise more, I have higher self confidence, my finances are in a better state, etc. But she (and other people) would not understand this.

Has anyone else experienced similiar worries and fears? Or am I just weird? Why is it that I'm so comfy talking about my sex life (I talk about it quite openly and frankly) but yet I get so scared of people finding out that he's in control OUTSIDE of the bedroom??

It would seem to me that you might simply be seeking a TPE in rebellion to "mommy" as opposed to trying to make your own decisions about who you are and who you want to be.

Perhaps you are even seeking a TPE as a substitute for your controlling mother.

Typically, if one worries too much over what others will think about their life choices, they aren't very comfortable with those life choices to begin with, so I certainly wish your new master luck, as it would certainly appear he is going to need it.

(in reply to HentaiGamerKitty)

Post #: 5

RE: TPE Relationships (and dealing with outsider reacti... - 10/12/2005 3:55:54 AM

MasterRobert1

Posts: 225
Joined: 7/18/2005
Status: offline

If you have a secret, it will eventually get out. Secrets are like that. Took years for it to happen to me, but it finally did. And, yes, it had reprocussions in my family. This is one of the things you have to seriously consider when entering into this lifestyle. That's just the long and the short of it.

(in reply to HentaiGamerKitty)

Post #: 6

RE: TPE Relationships (and dealing with outsider reacti... - 10/12/2005 3:58:05 AM

MstrHellsFury

Posts: 388
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

now let me see...how do you keep yourself from the outside world...hmmmm...no I won't go there...this is a serious question to you so funny isn't the answer...I can only relate to my experience...since I've always been the way I am...I've never had to hide it from anyone...(it didn't just pop out of me like and alien on day)...therefore my family and friends already know which way the wind blows for me...they've always known the women I have around me...the way they act towards me and how I expect them to act around others..( always a lady and respectful)...and those that know me...also know...I don't give a rats butt what anyone...and that includes them as well...think about what I am or do...(if they can respect that...contact is limited or non-existent)...so the real question I think of is...how can you find the freedom in who and what you are if the outside world dictates who and what you are?...just my opinion..but I truely believe my freedom to be who I am...was in never hiding what I was meant to be...by the way...who cares what anyone else thinks...you're the only one living in your skin so wear it the way you want...

Fury

(in reply to HentaiGamerKitty)

Post #: 7

RE: TPE Relationships (and dealing with outsider reacti... - 10/12/2005 5:48:46 AM

HentaiGamerKitty

Posts: 131
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

Maybemaybenot: As to how my mother would realize this, let's just say she has an uncanny knack for ferreting out my secrets. She always has. She's a police lieutenant and her work has taught her to be extremely perceptive. I know that we'll be sitting at dinner one night and I'll get up to take Master's dishes to the sink and later she'll pull me aside and ask "Well what was that all about! His legs aren't broken!" or some similiar such incident. I absolutely in no way mistrust his word. I know he would never betray me. I'm more worried about betraying myself through my actions. As for wanting to tell others, I truly do wish we lived in a world where I felt comfortable doing that, but alas we don't. And yes, my mother was extremely controlling of her children and actually "forced" me to a certain extent into my divorce from my ex husband (long story). She's never approved of ANY guy I've ever dated (she thinks they're too "controlling".) Basically, she's run all of them off. This is the first one who's had the strength to not let her bother him.

Evanesce: As ironic as it sounds, my mother would be much more concerned with him telling me what to do than with him doing kinky things in bed. She sees it as allowing a man to make your decisions (and it doesn't matter to her whether or not his decisions are in your best interest...she only sees that I'm being told what to do.)

I don't plan on telling her, as I said before...and as I originally mentioned, I'm feeling a certain amount of "paranoia" ie unreasonable worry. I KNOW its unreasonable but its still there. Whats the worst that could happen if people found out? Well in the case of my mom she could disown me (which would cause me a lot of emotional stress.) She's threatened to do so in the past when I've tried to break free from her control. Thankfully, I now have a strong man to stand beside me and help me deal with her (because I've never been good at standing up to her by myself.)

thnkiwntaspank: Actually, I never was seeking a TPE relationship. I was dead set against it for a VERY long time and swore up and down to ten gods that I'd never be in one because "by god, no mans gonna tell me what to do." But then I met the man I'm with now and he explained things in a whole different light...that he wouldn't just be this jerk that takes over my life, but rather a caring lover who honestly wanted control of my life so he could help me better myself. He showed me that all my life I've had patterns of behavior consistent with women who do well in TPE relationships (unfortunately, like many sub women, I went through a period of dating men who were weren't healthy for me.) He believes I was unhappy because I was so vehemently denying my submissive behavior due to my mother's brainwashing as a child. I was trying to act like her for a while, but it was tearing me apart because I'm just not that kind of person. Now that I've accepted that this is what I am, I feel like a great burden has been lifted off my shoulders. Strangely enough, I feel more free than I have ever felt in the past. As for seeking a substitute for my controlling mother, you may be right. I'm not sure. As to my comfort level with my lifestyle choices, you are most certainly correct that I am not totally sure about my choices yet. I'm young (22) and still new to this lifestyle. I'm enjoying it but sometimes I do wonder if I'm doing the right thing, just because it goes against everything I was taught growing up about how "a woman should be in control, not the man."

Mstrhellsfury: I understand what you're saying. I don't think this "popped out of me" one day either. I can remember having very submissive fantasies as early as the age of 5 (which probably sounds crazy but its true.) I've always felt my goal in life was to find a man I really loved and totally dedicate myself to him. However I was unable to do this for a long time because I felt it made me less of a woman. So I put on this strong front, talked all the time about how I'd never let a man tell me what to do, but ended up dating one domineering, semi-abusive man after another. It was a complicated thing for me to deal with emotionally.

I think part of my problem with worrying about the opinions of others (especially my family) is due to the fact that until quite recently, I was at least partially financially dependent on them. I live on my own, pay my own bills, have a decent job, etc....but I pretty much live paycheck to paycheck and I knew that if the car broke down or something I would have to "run to mommy and daddy for help." Now that I'm involved with a financially independent man, that burden has been lifted somewhat because I no longer have to feel like I depend on my parents for financial help.

So anyway, I'm done rambling now...thanks for letting me vent. Its early in the morning and I've worked all night,so I'm not sure how much sense I actually made.

(in reply to MstrHellsFury)

Post #: 8

RE: TPE Relationships (and dealing with outsider reacti... - 10/12/2005 5:54:57 AM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

Let me play *mom* for a mintue. There is no mother on the face of this earth that
wants to see their unmentionables mistreated. But it seems that isnt the issue here.
So putting the Kink aside and looking at the other areas, it is possible that your Mother
might see that those other areas your Master is working
on actually are to better you. She may not like the set up, but she might like the results.

Q

< Message edited by Quivver -- 10/12/2005 5:57:11 AM >

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to HentaiGamerKitty)

Post #: 9

RE: TPE Relationships (and dealing with outsider reacti... - 10/12/2005 5:57:16 AM

HentaiGamerKitty

Posts: 131
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

Let me play *mom* for a mintue. There is no mother on the face of this earth that
wants to see their unmentionables mistreated. So putting the Kink aside and looking
at the other areas, it is possible that your Mother might see that your Master is working
on actually are to better you. She may not like the set up, but she might like the results.

Q

Long term, I suspect you're right. However, I believe its going to take a while to get there. When I'm able to show her that I have *x* number of dollars in the bank account and that I've lost 50lbs, I'm sure she'll decide he's the cats meow. Right now she just thinks he's a controlling old lecher . (He's 36, which of course means he's only interested in screwing me, according to her.)

(in reply to Quivver)

Post #: 10

RE: TPE Relationships (and dealing with outsider reacti... - 10/12/2005 6:06:13 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I think the bigger deal you make of it, the bigger deal it becomes.

Now, I would never pressure someone to out themselves before they were ready, but I'd say if you really love your friends and if they really love you, to test the waters with them and come out to them. You need support and if you want both this master AND your friends in your life from here until forever, I think they all deserve to know the truth.

As far as family, that is a trickier pot of soup. My advice is generally, IF they get wind of something "not right" all you have to do is smile, hug them and let them know that you're happier than ever and really glad to be with eachother. You don't HAVE to answer questions if you don't want to, and it would be rude of them to press you for it, but if it goes that far just explain again with a smile- yes, it's how we like it and we're very happy.

As long as you can continue to show that you are thriving and happy together, exactly HOW that works its way out should be secondary and nothing you need to go into detail about.

My mother raised me to be extremely dominant and self-reliant. She just didn't realize that by doing that she'd make it impossible for me to be anything BUT myself...who happens to be a bi poly slave slut. While I'm not fully "out" to her, I reassure her of my happiness with who I am, and she can see proof positive in my day to day life. That's what matters in the end.

The more you make it a secret, the more they will worry and think something IS wrong.

(in reply to HentaiGamerKitty)

Post #: 11

RE: TPE Relationships (and dealing with outsider reacti... - 10/12/2005 6:21:29 AM

HentaiGamerKitty

Posts: 131
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

thank you, Emeraldslave. That's very good advice.

My friends for the most part know (not exactly,but they have a strong inkling.) Its definately more my family that I'm worried about (and they're exactly the sort of rude people to ask inappropriate questions.)

I think I'll take your advice and just smile and say "I'm happy" and hope they let it go. My mom will probably keep picking at it, but I'm just going to do my best to ignore her.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 12

RE: TPE Relationships (and dealing with outsider reacti... - 10/12/2005 6:32:31 AM

Littlepita

Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline

I understand just how you feel. I want a TPE with my Dom very much and plan to have that when were together. At first I wanted to hide it from everyone. My family knows that I’m a little bit kinky, but they don’t know to what extent. Now my mom is old fashioned and has never been one to like or agree with the women’s movement. She loves the idea of having a strong man taking care of things. So, I have been playing that up about my Sir. Such as I will say how dominate he is. How he wants to take care of things like getting me healthy, taking care of the finances, picking out my clothes. She thinks that is all good. Now, I haven’t told her he plans to slap a collar on me or that being his “little girl” is one of the great thrills of my life right now.

What I do know is that I don’t plan to go around blabbing to my family all the details of my relationship. I don’t feel it’s any of their business how I live my life with the man I love. I won’t however try to hide from it. If they happen to see the spanking bench in our room and ask what it is. I guess I will just have to blush and tell them the truth.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 13

RE: TPE Relationships (and dealing with outsider reacti... - 10/12/2005 6:40:19 AM

HentaiGamerKitty

Posts: 131
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

You're lucky to have a mother like that. Mine's a monster about these things. She's so "anti-male" its scary. I feel sorry for my step dad some days...he acts half afraid to speak.

Don't get me wrong, I respect her for a lot of things (her meteroic police career for one..she's made lieutenant in just 8 years and is shoe-in for chief when the present one retires in 3 years.) However, her negative attitude is very trying at times.

This is a woman who REFUSES to cook (even on holidays) or do laundry(she does clean though...just cause no one else will and she doesn't want the house filthy!) ..she'd never understand a TPE relationship unless SHE was the one in charge, lol.

< Message edited by HentaiGamerKitty -- 10/12/2005 6:41:36 AM >

(in reply to Littlepita)

Post #: 14

RE: TPE Relationships (and dealing with outsider reacti... - 10/12/2005 6:54:34 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HentaiGamerKitty
I think I'll take your advice and just smile and say "I'm happy" and hope they let it go. My mom will probably keep picking at it, but I'm just going to do my best to ignore her.

Family dynamics can be so messy. If she really does not let it go, and it really does become an issue (because I notice that until you nip it, these naggings can become huge sore spots) you can turn it around on her and ask if she trusts you to live a happy adult life, or be humorous and depracating.

My mother, while accepting of my choice to not be the standard "marry/kids/house/husband" type chick, used to drop hints here and there about it. At first I ignored it, but it continued. So I just started making jokes at her which allowed me to let her know, in a light hearted way, that I understood what she wanted, but that it wasn't acceptable to me and she needed to trust me and drop it.

And I proved to her that she COULD trust me by taking care of myself well.

Now, that's my mom, who is very passive when it comes to direct confrontation. If your mom isn't like that, another tactic might work best.

Whatever you do, just remember YOU deserve to live a life as YOU choose, and no one should make you feel less for that, even if it's your mother. A very very hard thing for some people to realize, even if they intellectually agree with it.

So good for you, try ignoring first and see where it goes.

(in reply to HentaiGamerKitty)

Post #: 15

RE: TPE Relationships (and dealing with outsider reacti... - 10/12/2005 7:05:12 AM

HentaiGamerKitty

Posts: 131
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

I really wish I had one of those passive type moms.

Thank god she lives in the country where people don't call the police very often, because she's always having a yelling/screaming/cussing/throwing things fit in the front yard. She's QUITE confrontational.

I can't count the number of times I've been "disowned". Thankfully, she usually calms down and comes to her senses.

My Master's suggestion is that when the lease is up on my place, we move a bit further away. I think the less I see her, the better we get along and the easier it is to keep her from noticing things. I don't even want to think about how's she's going to react when we decided to take in a housegirl....She'l'l REALLY think he's an "old pervert" then, and she'll think I'm crazy for wanting another young woman in my house (because she firmly believes open relationships won't work, because she thinks its a certainty that he'll fall for the other girl and leave you!)

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 16

RE: TPE Relationships (and dealing with outsider reacti... - 10/12/2005 7:17:18 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I'm going to make an unpopular suggestion: get some therapy to deal with your "mom" issues.

Mothers have a big impact on our lives. (so do fathers)

These fears and concerns you have are real and valid but we on this board can't really help you and I think its unwise to ask your master to take on that responsibility unless you are also getting outside professional advice. Even just once or twice might make you feel better and help you learn to stand up for yourself (even if it is only in your mind, heart, and feelings).

But this is something you have to do for yourself. You master (TPE or otherwise) cannot possibly do this because he is not you, he is not in your head, he is not your past, and unless he's a very very powerful telepath and empath he can't be.

I saw this as someone who has been there, who has had a similar relationship with her mother (though mine is a fundamentalist anti-feminist freak). The fact that I'm not the same BDSM role as you doesn't really matter. But you need to deal with your mom's impact on you and only you yourself can do that.

On this board we can only offer hugs and similar experiences and maybe advice. You master can offer support.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 10/12/2005 7:19:05 AM >

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to HentaiGamerKitty)

Post #: 17

RE: TPE Relationships (and dealing with outsider reacti... - 10/12/2005 7:17:34 AM

WickedKev

Posts: 305
Joined: 11/26/2004
Status: offline

Not going to suggest what you might do, but will simply tell you how it happened to me. My parents werevery liberal, nudity, and sex were not taboo subjects, but when it came to relationships it was always on an equal basis. But being the mddle child of three children guess I was the black sheep of the family and always went my own way. When I decided to tell my family the type of relationship I was in, I simply told them. You could have heard a pin drop from the shock, so i told them simply it is me and I won't apoligise for being me, and either they except me as I am or not all it was thier choice. My dad said fine, it was my life he just doesn't want to hear about it, my sister laughed but is happy being a 'vanilla' and my brother (he lives in Australia) who was visiting me took photos of all my toys (I make most of my own) to show the family in Oz (I have a lot there). Since then I have been bombarded with questions from that branch of the family. Think they might all be experimenting, I know my sister-in-law wants me to take her to a club when I am there next. Suggested she made my brother wear a thong and lead him into the club on coller and lead. She lovs the idea, my brother is still swearing at me.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 18

RE: TPE Relationships (and dealing with outsider reacti... - 10/12/2005 7:23:42 AM

HentaiGamerKitty

Posts: 131
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

I'm going to make an unpopular suggestion: get some therapy to deal with your "mom" issues.

Mothers have a big impact on our lives. (so do fathers)

These fears and concerns you have are real and valid but we on this board can't really help you and I think its unwise to ask your master to take on that responsibility unless you are also getting outside professional advice. Even just once or twice might make you feel better and help you learn to stand up for yourself (even if it is only in your mind, heart, and feelings).

But this is something you have to do for yourself. You master (TPE or otherwise) cannot possibly do this because he is not you, he is not in your head, he is not your past, and unless he's a very very powerful telepath and empath he can't be.

I saw this as someone who has been there, who has had a similar relationship with her mother (though mine is a fundamentalist anti-feminist freak). The fact that I'm not the same BDSM role as you doesn't really matter. But you need to deal with your mom's impact on you and only you yourself can do that.

On this board we can only offer hugs and similar experiences and maybe advice. You master can offer support.

thank you for your advice. Yes, I did at one point go to therapy over the issue but I don't feel it was especially productive. I've tried standing up to her, but its hard because it usually ends up with me getting the everloving snot smacked out of me. She's thrown hammers at me, slapped me, tried to break my car window with a police baton, all kinds of crazy things when I've tried to stand up to her. Makes it a bit difficult, lol.

I think my biggest fear right now is that if she finds out, she'll somehow try to sabotage the relationship (which I won't allow to happne, but it could cause a lot of inconvenience by her trying.)

I do have some "mother issues" obviously as well as father issues. (Bio father was an abusive alcoholic and I watched him beat the snot out of my mom for 8 years.) Step father is sweet but a very week sort of person that I don't necessarly have a lot of respect for.

Even if message board friends can only offer conversation, I still appreciate the chance to get it off my chest. Consider it the ramblings of a newbie...I'm still cocerned with how this step is going to affect my life. I've had two bdsm "play partners" before, but never anything like I now have with the man I'm with. Maybe I'm just worrying too much.

Thank you all for the advice :)

< Message edited by HentaiGamerKitty -- 10/12/2005 7:27:51 AM >

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 19

RE: TPE Relationships (and dealing with outsider reacti... - 10/12/2005 7:26:13 AM

HentaiGamerKitty

Posts: 131
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

edited due to accident double post

(in reply to HentaiGamerKitty)

Post #: 20

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> TPE Relationships (and dealing with outsider reactions to them)

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