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RE: JEALOUSY - 4/29/2008 10:01:39 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bruisedpetals

quote:

ORIGINAL: BCAPCAB
a dom is something to be treasured and nurtured above all else plus respected.

Real doms, yes.

I have never heard a "dom" say that about other Dominants. I don't feel like I need to be treasured or nurtured. I do, however, feel like my sub needs to be treasured and nurtured. Contrary to popular belief, sometimes it is not all about you. Where was your nutriment for your wife that night? You are so self involved, it is unbelievable. God, I hate men like this. You notice I say men, and not Dominants. You don't have to be a D to be self involved and ME ME ME kind of man.
I do not have respect for you. You have come on here with your one side story, which of course you left out the best parts, of how you completely disregarded the arrangement that you all agreed to.

Tsk. Tsk. Bad form.

MoGa

ETA: Now all we need is for your wife umm...I mean...your girlfriend...um...oh hell....your victim to post what she was really feeling. I bet she felt FREE.

< Message edited by MistressOfGa -- 4/29/2008 10:05:51 AM >

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Post #: 61

RE: JEALOUSY - 4/29/2008 10:10:31 AM

OldBastardly1

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline

MoG, just make yourself comfy. You do have popcorn, right?

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Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 62

RE: JEALOUSY - 4/29/2008 10:31:31 AM

therazor

Posts: 5
Joined: 12/4/2007
Status: offline

I think we all need to take pause.

I agree with you all, the drama is reaching epic proportions.

It is sad that AB felt so much regret after he participated in the scene. It is regrettable that he decided to take his regrets public.

I don't believe that he is a bad person, he has his own demons to deal with and we should either leave him to deal with them as best he can or help him. Honestly, I do believe that he is struggling with his own self as to his role and where he fits in the lifestyle. I think we all have been there at some point in our journey.

I had some culpability in this, I will admit. When we discussed this scene first with AB and the woman, I was very explicit. I did get both their agreements, established safe words etc. etc. However, something was not sitting exactly right with me. I should have listened that little voice, I chose to ignore it and now I am stuck in a bad episode of As the Dom Floggs.

I responded because I felt my character was being questioned in a public forum. I probably should have been a bit less vocal and let AB just burn himself out. I really don't think castracting AB is going to help him. Give him good council and move on.

Razor

(in reply to OldBastardly1)

Post #: 63

RE: JEALOUSY - 4/29/2008 10:31:37 AM

SassySarijane

Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline

*waits for the 3rd person to come tell her version now*

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(in reply to OldBastardly1)

Post #: 64

RE: JEALOUSY - 4/29/2008 10:59:15 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

This thread is reaching new levels of entertainment, I didn't think it was possible.

Just when you didn't think it could be possible.

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(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 65

RE: JEALOUSY - 4/29/2008 11:01:48 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

MoG, just make yourself comfy. You do have popcorn, right?

Of course we do!

<whispers to OB> I never thought you would want to share popcorn with your stalker <s>

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Post #: 66

RE: JEALOUSY - 4/29/2008 11:49:44 AM

OldBastardly1

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: therazor

I think we all need to take pause.

I agree with you all, the drama is reaching epic proportions.

It is sad that AB felt so much regret after he participated in the scene. It is regrettable that he decided to take his regrets public.

I don't believe that he is a bad person, he has his own demons to deal with and we should either leave him to deal with them as best he can or help him. Honestly, I do believe that he is struggling with his own self as to his role and where he fits in the lifestyle. I think we all have been there at some point in our journey.

I had some culpability in this, I will admit. When we discussed this scene first with AB and the woman, I was very explicit. I did get both their agreements, established safe words etc. etc. However, something was not sitting exactly right with me. I should have listened that little voice, I chose to ignore it and now I am stuck in a bad episode of As the Dom Floggs.

I responded because I felt my character was being questioned in a public forum. I probably should have been a bit less vocal and let AB just burn himself out. I really don't think castracting AB is going to help him. Give him good council and move on.

Razor

I agree that we should help him. I think that purging and facing the full truth would be quite therapeutic. Full and complete disclosure is the only way to totally heal from this.

We await the details. :)

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

(in reply to therazor)

Post #: 67

RE: JEALOUSY - 4/29/2008 11:52:11 AM

OldBastardly1

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

Of course we do! <whispers to OB> I never thought you would want to share popcorn with your stalker <s>

A lonely, bitter, old man will appreciate the company of anybody that likes him, stalker or not....and you have popcorn.

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 68

RE: JEALOUSY - 4/29/2008 12:05:08 PM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

and to think -- I ignored this thread all day.. silly me...

(in reply to OldBastardly1)

Post #: 69

RE: JEALOUSY - 4/30/2008 7:36:55 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

and to think -- I ignored this thread all day.. silly me...

lol just another silliness in the thread we call life.
Wants some popcorn?

MoGa

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Post #: 70

RE: JEALOUSY - 4/30/2008 8:32:17 AM

BoundDown

Posts: 76
Joined: 11/25/2007
Status: offline

Subspace is not hypnosis; there is no way set way to "bring them back".
For all we know it was a lite scene for this dom and he could asses her state visually and felt that she was fine to be left. It only gets hairy when that "subspace" puts the sub in a bad place mentally.

Like millions before you, you have acted w little to no information and learned a lesson the hard way. And since we are not hearing about this from your wife or the dom can not really give you an objective opinion.
But this I can say: If you want to dom your wife, whats stopping you? you commuicate well I assume... there is a plethura of information available out there..... why do you need someone to show you how to handle your women? Especially when you aren't 100% comfortable with another dom working your wife. Why not get a domme then, if you are still unsure of your roll.

Oi! .... I am not even going to start on tackling the part about being a switch because of your vanilla lifestyle nor your submissive traits.... but I can assure you that does not make you a submissive.

(in reply to BCAPCAB)

Post #: 71

RE: JEALOUSY - 4/30/2008 8:47:13 AM

BoundDown

Posts: 76
Joined: 11/25/2007
Status: offline

And you wonder why you were treated by this dom like you were? I'm sorry but I am just not buying that... I could believe you didn't stop it because it is what she wanted and was enjoying herself; that I could buy. or even you didn't stop it because of ignorance and you thought this was expected.... but respect? Where is your self respect then? IME no self respecting man would silently sit there being cuckold, unless he was submissive, and you want to own your wife?

You want a step by step guide to WIITWD? Heres mine: Introspection contemplate your feelings, desires and needs Read everything youcan get your hands on) Think again about what you desire, feel, need and now maybe want to try If your lucky enough you can Observe but ultimately you must then Apply - rinse and repeat.
But w/o honesty, between all parties and most importently yourself you will be disappointed in the outcome.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BCAPCAB

i did not stop it out of respect for her

Edited because I finally got to page 3 and was totally RIGHT! (at least in my own mind lol) Very rarely do we get to hear the "other" sides of the story, and have no fear Razor, your character was never questioned. Most here do not jump to conclusions based solely on one unhappy persons perspective - we wait for people to expose themselves for what they truely are before that.

< Message edited by BoundDown -- 4/30/2008 9:32:39 AM >

(in reply to BCAPCAB)

Post #: 72

RE: JEALOUSY - 4/30/2008 10:10:21 AM

Daddyslilpookie

Posts: 498
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: OC, California
Status: offline

All I can say about this thread is WOW

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Princess Andie

"A Woman Loves Only Her Master"

(in reply to BoundDown)

Post #: 73

RE: JEALOUSY - 4/30/2008 2:22:13 PM

BCAPCAB

Posts: 15
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline

TO ALL CONCERNED HER: I AM THE FIRST PERSON TO ADMIT I WENT INTO THIS WITHOUT A REALIZATION OF WHAT WAS TO HAPPEN FOR THAT I GUESS I SHOULD BE EMASCULATED AS MENTIONED.
ABOUT THE PERSONAL ASPECTS OF ME AND AB. THAT WOULD SERVE NO PURPOSE TO HUMILIATE HER OR ME.AS RAZOR SAID THE PROBLEMS BETWEEN ME AND AB ARE JUST THAT,OURS.
I CAN ONLY OFFER THIS REASON AS TO WHY I LET THINGS GET OUT OF CONTROL. HER AND I DISCUSSED THIS LIFESTYLE AS A WAY OF A) MAKING OUR RELATIONSHIP STRONGER AND MORE MEANINGFUL SINCE IT IS SOMETHING SHE ENJOYED AND SOMETHING I WANTED TO LEARN
B.) WE BOTH THOUGHT IT WOULD HELP RELIEVE SOME STRESS AND TENSION IN OUR LIVES.
MOST OF MY INFORMATION HAS COME FROM HER AND I AM STARTING TO THINK THAT SOME OF IT WAS WRONG.
FINAL ANSWER I CAM TELL YOU IS BECAUSE I CARE ENOUGH ABOUT HER TO TRY AND PUT MY FEELINGS ASIDE AND CONTROL MY EMOTIONS TO GIVE HER SOME HAPPINESS. SHE DID SEEM TO LIKE IT A GREAT DEAL BECAUSE EVEN WITH ALL OF THE FALLOUT FROM THIS EPISODE SHE IS TEACHING MORE AND MORE WHICH I PERCIEVE IS A GOOD THING FOR US.
I NEVER CAME ON HERE TO INSULT RAZOR OR ANYBODIES INTELLEGENCE. I CAME HERE LOOKING FOR ANSWERS TO HELP ME WITH A PROBLEM I COULD NOT HANDLE OR CONTROL. IF THIS MAKES ME A BAD PERSON SO BE IT. AS FAR AS ME BLOCKING RAZOR HE IS RIGHT.I WISH TO HAVE NO CONTACT WITH HIM AS ME AND AB ARE TRYING TO SORT THINGS OUT. 1 PARTING FACT THAT YOU SHOLD KNOW IS THAT HE NEW I WAS EXTREMELY UP SET AND YET HE CALLED HER TO ASK IF SHE COULD GO AWAY WITH HIM FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS. I REACTED AS IF HE DID NOT CARE ABOUT AB'S FEELINGS OR MINE AND TO ME THAT WAS PRETTY LOW. IF THAT MAKES ME LESS OF A HUMAN BEING I AM SORRY.
HOWEVER ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT YOU CAN DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONS FROM WHAT YOU HAVE READ HERE AND MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS.IT IS NOT UP TO ME TO TELL YOU HAW TO FEEL OR THINK
RESPECTFULY CAP'NB CAB

(in reply to Daddyslilpookie)

Post #: 74

RE: JEALOUSY - 4/30/2008 2:41:52 PM

BCAPCAB

Posts: 15
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline

I AM NOT SURE THAT I MADE ONE THING CLEAR.IT IS THAT I DID NOT INTEND THIS AS CRITISM OR ANGER AT RAZOR.I AM SIMPLY TRYING TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IS MY PROBLEM AND HOW TO DEAL WITH IT IN THE FUTURE.BECAUSE THIS WILL ARISE AGAIN AND IF IT CAN BE DEALT WITH BEFOREHAND THINGS WOULD GO MUCH SMOOTHER FOR ALL CONCEREND PARTIES

(in reply to BCAPCAB)

Post #: 75

RE: JEALOUSY - 4/30/2008 2:44:30 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

First of all, kill the caps lock before you get modspanked. It's not pretty, and you won't like it. Seriously.

Second, if you haven't figured it out yet, it all boils down to communication, agreements, understanding. And when you go on a message board looking for help, telling the whole story on the first go-round is usually more effective.

Cali

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(in reply to BCAPCAB)

Post #: 76

RE: JEALOUSY - 4/30/2008 2:58:45 PM

subtee

Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline

~FR

What she said.

Also, may I suggest that you and your wife read and lurk here and learn as much as you can before you begin again. Start with scening together and alone. Figure out what you would like to learn from another or others instead of having them teach you what they think you should know. Don't post anymore on this thread...your drama has pissed people off. If you feel like it, come back after a while and begin fresh.

Like that.

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Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 77

RE: JEALOUSY - 4/30/2008 3:28:15 PM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BCAPCAB

he was supposed to dom both of us and it turned out bad.he domed her but i was forced to sit and watch while he took her to subspace while i did not participate.

When another person forces you to "sit and watch" your wife being taken into subspace, they are Dominating you. Being a spectator is participating.

quote:

i felt humiliated and degraded as he made her so happy like i used to do and she was a willing sub to him,while i sat and watched.

Being made to feel "humiliated and degraded", while still sitting there and watching another man make your wife feel "so happy", is another way that he Dominated you.

quote:

before it was over i had to leave the room because i felt emotionaly devestated and could not handle it,and i did not want to ruin it for her.i know i felt jealousy even though she said it is not really about sex but power and subspace.
when i tried to talk to the dom he said he enjoyed the sex and had a great time.it was almost as if he was trying to hurt me emotionaly and shove it down my throat and going out of his way to degrade and humiliate me.
is this a normal feeling and how can i work it out for the both of us without quitting the lifestyle and realizing it is not anout love and sex but euphoric feelings

This isn't about not being able to enjoy BD/SM with your wife. This is about not enjoying seeing another man do your wife in front of you. So, maybe you should stick to a strictly monogamous marriage and explore your BD/SM interests with your wife, exclusively. You don't need to invite third parties into your bedroom to be able to enjoy BD/SM with your wife.

joy
Owned servant of Master David

(in reply to BCAPCAB)

Post #: 78

RE: JEALOUSY - 5/1/2008 4:30:58 AM

therazor

Posts: 5
Joined: 12/4/2007
Status: offline

Jesus, this is pathetic.

Cap if you are going to tell a story tell the whole thing.

Your "wife", girlfriend whatever tells me that there is nothing more between you. I am not a flaming idiot. She lives with you, she sleeps with you and everything else you two share in your lives.

So I wanted to prove a point to her. I told her I was going out of town for a couple days maybe she should come along. She said she would check with you. I said bingo, that is a relationship and that she needed to resolve that before anything else could happen in her life.

Razor
I know you are well aware of those facts. Just give it up, it is just really pitiful at this point and you just keep digging the hole deeper. The whole stupid thing had calmed down and you had to stir it up.

< Message edited by therazor -- 5/1/2008 4:31:16 AM >

(in reply to slavegirljoy)

Post #: 79

RE: JEALOUSY - 5/1/2008 4:49:03 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BCAPCAB

I AM NOT SURE THAT I MADE ONE THING CLEAR.IT IS THAT I DID NOT INTEND THIS AS CRITISM OR ANGER AT RAZOR.

Seems to me you were more than willing to slam him... until he showed up.

balls <--------- grow a set

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(in reply to BCAPCAB)

Post #: 80

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