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RE: Tributes and Paying for a Pro - 4/27/2008 11:03:36 AM

pearlmoongirl

Posts: 68
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline

I've thought about trying to find a pro Dom just to try a few basic things like kneeling and being tied up, because I am a complete and utter n00b and generally speaking I am less nervous with practice.

The thought of making a fool of myself in from of "Him," the one I'm looking for, is just ... excruciating. But then again, it seems as if the whole point of submission is to show your honest, unvarnished reaction. Right?

o.0

~ the self-conscious persona of pmg
(who went back and edited this post out of self-consciousness)

< Message edited by pearlmoongirl -- 4/27/2008 11:06:10 AM >

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Post #: 21

RE: Tributes and Paying for a Pro - 4/27/2008 11:04:58 AM

OrrisKitten

Posts: 59
Joined: 7/18/2007
Status: offline

I think it is a huge matter of semantics, but here is my thought on it..

I think a tribute aligns more with a gift than paying a Pro. A Pro may still get gifts atop their fee. I'd say anything over the fee is a gift, or a tribute.

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)

Post #: 22

RE: Tributes and Paying for a Pro - 4/27/2008 11:10:48 AM

deviousmiss

Posts: 9
Joined: 4/10/2008
Status: offline

Not to derail this topic, but I think I want my tribute to be, from now on, in the form of Chinese take-out.

But, in all honesty, initial tributes confuse me on a personal level. Now, if after an established connection has been made (aside from, "Hi, whip me!") -- we're talking on a friendly level -- and he wants to bring me something thoughtful, then I'm comfortable. But for me to demand a tribute before even knowing me, seems impersonal.

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

Post #: 23

RE: Tributes and Paying for a Pro - 4/27/2008 11:27:13 AM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

Have operated as pro dom on and off for a little over eight years ... a tribute is and always will be what the client is expected to give me ...or in some cases ... do for me ... in return for my time, experience, skills and empathy for their individual needs.

If they gift me anything above and beyond their tribute...it is a gift ...

The indigenous people of New Zealand have a custom called 'koha' of giving what you can in appreciation of what you get ... it is very much how I feel about tributes as a pro dom ... I have standard fees so I can project income streams but they are not set in stone if an individual can not afford them .. eg a labourer my do my garden in lieu of a monetary tribute but if they take cuttings from plants they know I love and plant my garden full of beautiful plant life ... that is their gift

The notion of a tribute when I began pro doming was, and remains that way for me today, a thank you

Much like taking a bottle of wine as a thank you to a friend for their dinner invitation, it's the least I can do when they are providing everything else.

I do dismay at the many lifestylers who jumped on the 'tribute' bandwagon ... but now expect professional dominatrices to redefine what was once theirs.

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

Visit My Website

(in reply to OrrisKitten)

Post #: 24

RE: Tributes and Paying for a Pro - 4/27/2008 11:36:52 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

I think what amuses me the most about the subject is using a word like "tribute" to try to get around the real word you are using, which is "fee." The very definition of tribute rules out the way it is used by many, many people.

Tribute:
1. a payment by one ruler or nation to another as the price of protection
2. something given or contributed voluntarily as due or deserved; especially : a gift or service showing respect, gratitude, or affection

Once it is a requirement, it is no longer a tribute.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Jasmyn)

Post #: 25

RE: Tributes and Paying for a Pro - 4/27/2008 11:47:40 AM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

I think what amuses me the most about the subject is using a word like "tribute" to try to get around the real word you are using, which is "fee." The very definition of tribute rules out the way it is used by many, many people.

Tribute:
1. a payment by one ruler or nation to another as the price of protection
2. something given or contributed voluntarily as due or deserved; especially : a gift or service showing respect, gratitude, or affection

Once it is a requirement, it is no longer a tribute.

Cali

When a client sees the fee as due and deserved and voluntarily give it ..the word tribute works well enough ...

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

Visit My Website

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 26

RE: Tributes and Paying for a Pro - 4/27/2008 11:49:44 AM

Sundowner

Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor
NOTE: Not a rant or an issue with either one, just curious without stealong a thread---do you ( the general populis out there) think Tributes are the same thing as paying a Pro?

I for one do not--as I even ask for what can be considered a tribute--a white rose (it helps Me pick someone out of a crowd at a first meet, then I like it from there on out)--

Semantics here - did you mean "... think Tributes to a Pro are the same thing as paying a Pro?" or did you mean "... think Tributes are the same thing as paying?"

I ask cos you're in General Discussion not Ask a Mistress. And point is why can't we give a tribute (i.e. a present) to a sub, whether pro or not? I admire and respect my sub, certainly sufficiently for me to want to buy her a present. And I don't think of that as payment, even tho it costs me money.

So no, I don't think - generally - tributes in the sense of presents are quite the same for a pro (domme or sub) and are firmly not a form of payment for a non-pro.

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 27

RE: Tributes and Paying for a Pro - 4/27/2008 11:51:29 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

My point was, when someone says "tribute required", they are in effect using a double negative. You cannot require a gift or it is no longer a gift, it is a FEE.

If your fee is $200 and someone says, "oh yes, you're very well worth it", it's still a fee and not a tribute.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Jasmyn)

Post #: 28

RE: Tributes and Paying for a Pro - 4/27/2008 12:01:59 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

Most pro's do not use the word "Fee" because of the sketchy legal stuff surrounding Professional Domination/Submission.

Supposedly, it's easier to defend yourself if you use tribute/tip/roses/wtfever than if you say "the cost/fee/charge is...."

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 29

RE: Tributes and Paying for a Pro - 4/27/2008 12:09:03 PM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

My point was, when someone says "tribute required", they are in effect using a double negative. You cannot require a gift or it is no longer a gift, it is a FEE.

If your fee is $200 and someone says, "oh yes, you're very well worth it", it's still a fee and not a tribute.

Cali

Hence why I state it is not a gift ... a tribute is just that .. the word tribute perfectly defines payment in the context of paying a professional dominant ...

trib·ute

[trib-yoot] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun

1.
a gift, testimonial, compliment, or the like, given as due or in acknowledgment of gratitude or esteem.

2.
a stated sum or other valuable consideration paid by one sovereign or state to another in acknowledgment of subjugation or as the price of peace, security, protection, or the like.

3.
a rent, tax, or the like, as that paid by a subject to a sovereign.

4.
any exacted or enforced payment or contribution.

5.
obligation or liability to make such payment.

[Origin: 1300–50; ME tribut < L tribūtum a levied payment, n. use of neut. of ptp. of tribuere to assign, allot, deriv. of tribus tribe

]
—Synonyms 1. recognition, commendation, eulogy. 4. levy, toll, impost, duty

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

< Message edited by Jasmyn -- 4/27/2008 12:10:15 PM >

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

Visit My Website

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 30

RE: Tributes and Paying for a Pro - 4/27/2008 12:24:57 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

Whatever helps you sleep at night. Last time I checked, you weren't a sovereign or other government. Look, I don't care what you want to call it. You can call it "Blue Tokies from Heaven" if you want.

If you want to pull out only the words that fit you, so be it. It doesn't change the meaning.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Jasmyn)

Post #: 31

RE: Tributes and Paying for a Pro - 4/27/2008 12:41:49 PM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

Tribute/Fee it all boils down to the same thing in my eyes. I don't agree with either, no different than a hooker or even a gold digger in my eyes.

A gift, would be like a bf/gf exchanging presents. A gift you give someone because you WANT to and because you're close with them.

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 32

RE: Tributes and Paying for a Pro - 4/27/2008 12:51:51 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

(The following is posted as comic relief)

"Why is it that someone will give me one perfect rose... but never one perfect Mercedes or one perfect Diamond.. or one perfect villa on the Mediterranean?"

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 33

RE: Tributes and Paying for a Pro - 4/27/2008 12:54:42 PM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

lol ... set my sights higher than the villa, diamond and mercedes and got the horniest piece of bondage furniture ever

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

Visit My Website

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 34

RE: Tributes and Paying for a Pro - 4/27/2008 1:00:56 PM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Usako

Tribute/Fee it all boils down to the same thing in my eyes. I don't agree with either, no different than a hooker or even a gold digger in my eyes.

A gift, would be like a bf/gf exchanging presents. A gift you give someone because you WANT to and because you're close with them.

You've nailed it. *Requiring* tribute = gold digger. I know some dommes claim they want the tribute to show that the person they are dealing with isn't a time waster. My theory is, if your time is so damned valuable, do something else with it. If you're sincerely looking for a relationship of any flavour, you're going to deal with time wasters.

(in reply to Usako)

Post #: 35

RE: Tributes and Paying for a Pro - 4/27/2008 1:04:16 PM

yournewprincess

Posts: 18
Joined: 11/5/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RuleMyWorld

So here we go again.....paying for a pro, I think it's all well and good. A worker is worth their wages. It is too bad for subs that it is so one sided. I am thinking of turning into a pro-sub and charging for honor to whip me and make me clean your house.....Subs...are you with me????? Talk about TPE!!!!!! LOL.

i have come across a couple of female subbies that charge for sessions. i see nothing wrong with it, no reason why it should be one sided. there are always going to be those subbies and dommes that don't want a relationship and just want something occassional. and i see nothing wrong with doing what you love for your job as the pro's do. as long as everything is kept legal and safe i think it is a blessing to be able to do something you love for your income. as long as both parties come out of it happy there is no problem. the only problem i see with it is every sub i have talked to has said that the sessions with a pro always seemed very impersonal and rushed. not very sensual so they left without feeling satisfied.

(in reply to RuleMyWorld)

Post #: 36

RE: Tributes and Paying for a Pro - 4/27/2008 1:06:17 PM

impossiblesub

Posts: 150
Joined: 4/20/2008
Status: offline

They just want you to show up with something useful instead of flowers that are going to rot in a vase. ;) You could spend $200 on a date real easily anyway. You can think of it as just giving them the money instead of flowers, dinner, and dancing or whatever.

< Message edited by impossiblesub -- 4/27/2008 1:13:16 PM >

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 37

RE: Tributes and Paying for a Pro - 4/27/2008 1:07:34 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Millions for defense, not a penny in tribute!!!!!!!!

Sick simpering tyrannysaurus!!!!!!!!

J. Wilkes Boothe

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to yournewprincess)

Post #: 38

RE: Tributes and Paying for a Pro - 4/27/2008 1:43:19 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

NOTE: Not a rant or an issue with either one, just curious without stealong a thread---do you ( the general populis out there) think Tributes are the same thing as paying a Pro?

I for one do not--as I even ask for what can be considered a tribute--a white rose (it helps Me pick someone out of a crowd at a first meet, then I like it from there on out)--

I see the two as being different.

Paying a pro is exchanging money for services, it's a business arrangement.

Giving tribute (whether it's gifts, money, or something else) is a gifting, an expression of appreciation and/or a part of a defined kink play.

One can tribute to a pro, plus many sub-clients like to call their payment tribute as it helps with the roleplay of a personal, non-business, relationship and/or ties directly into the kink play they and the domme are engaging in.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 39

RE: Tributes and Paying for a Pro - 4/27/2008 2:09:43 PM

Evility

Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline

Oddly enough, I would ask for them to email me a photo - but I often think outside the box. It's an even surer way of picking someone out in a crowd in the rare event that another person shows up also with a white rose in their possession.

I do not think that asking for a flower is the same as the monetary/expensive gift tributes that some dommes require and I certainly wouldn't equate it with the hourly rates that I have seen charged by some pro dommes.

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 40

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