Admirers...Waiting for the sub to make the first move? (Full Version)

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s0ngbird -> Admirers...Waiting for the sub to make the first move? (4/27/2008 9:23:10 AM)

It has been my experience, under this pseudonym as well as others, that some Doms simply tag someone as a favorite, sit back, and wait to see if li'l fishie takes the bait.  I find it fascinating that many would supposedly like a profile enough to be on an "admirers" list, yet never even send a "Howdy!"  Anyone else have thoughts, concerns, grins to share on this?

S



kiwisub12 -> RE: Admirers...Waiting for the sub to make the first move? (4/27/2008 9:26:33 AM)

Well, maybe they just like to be able to find your photos easily (grins)
and if they are gameplaying - ie first one to make a move loses - then they have already lost, since they are the one that made the first move. But i'm sure they don't see it that way.



Phin -> RE: Admirers...Waiting for the sub to make the first move? (4/27/2008 9:26:52 AM)

this is a free site with no IQ requirements. you will get assholes and idiots galore.

as for if you should make the move or not.... if you want something, make it known dont wait for someone else to take the bait, dom, sub, or nilla



Aileen1968 -> RE: Admirers...Waiting for the sub to make the first move? (4/27/2008 9:28:17 AM)

I've never initiated an email to a dom here.  I've always been contacted by them first.    I put a dom I'm interested in on my favorites list and if they choose to contact me then I'd see where it would lead...compatibility, attraction, etc. 



Phin -> RE: Admirers...Waiting for the sub to make the first move? (4/27/2008 9:31:30 AM)

I NEVER check my admirers list so that would not work for me. I am betting I am not the only one...



SweetNika -> RE: Admirers...Waiting for the sub to make the first move? (4/27/2008 9:37:17 AM)

I have gotten several requests to be added to someone's public friends list and I have declined in several cases because I have not had any kind of contact with them. I have one dom that has subcribed to my journal but has never contacted but I do post some of my writing there so that doesn't really bother me.
 
Blessed be,
Nika



s0ngbird -> RE: Admirers...Waiting for the sub to make the first move? (4/27/2008 9:43:07 AM)

What fantastic responses...you guys are awesome!!!
 
Nika, love your quote.  Phin, I am tooooo curious to never check...how do you do that??? [sm=dunno.gif]



SweetNika -> RE: Admirers...Waiting for the sub to make the first move? (4/27/2008 9:45:13 AM)

Thank you, it has become my newly discovered philosophy regarding intimacy.



Phin -> RE: Admirers...Waiting for the sub to make the first move? (4/27/2008 9:46:32 AM)

cuz if they dont say anything to me how interested can they be? Even in a sub I respect initive and foward thinking.



SweetNika -> RE: Admirers...Waiting for the sub to make the first move? (4/27/2008 9:49:59 AM)

I just had a thought perhaps they just like to watch! -laughs-



LaTigresse -> RE: Admirers...Waiting for the sub to make the first move? (4/27/2008 10:05:13 AM)

I've often put someone on my favourites list to check back on later. Perhaps I am at a moment in my life that I knew I would not be able to give them the time they deserved had they proven to be worth it. Perhaps, I was talking to someone that I felt had potential and didn't want to mislead someone new but wanted to keep them in mind in case the one I am talking to flakes out. Something that happens frequently.

I like to focus on one person at a time, regardness of how strong of a potential they are. Recently I was focusing on two at the same time, but that was an odd, two for one, sort of situation. It appears to have cooled off a bit so if I see someone that interests me I might contact them. Or I might just focus on other aspects of my life.



DDraigeuraid -> RE: Admirers...Waiting for the sub to make the first move? (4/27/2008 10:08:14 AM)

when I first got on CM, I put quite a few subs in my favorites list, with the intention of writing.  Some I did write to, but then I realized that a lot I had in the FL were 18-22.  I knew that they probably didn't want anything to do with an old fart like me.  I pared down the list, again with the intention of writing, but then last week a dear friend that I had lost contact with years ago found me here.  I stopped writing the ones in the FL.  Guess I should pare that list down to zero now.
Dragon



FlamingRedhead -> RE: Admirers...Waiting for the sub to make the first move? (4/27/2008 10:39:07 AM)

I have also noticed this phenomenon.  Maybe they like your profile or pic, but they don't think you'd be a good match.  To my twisted way of thinking, if you're too chickenshit to write to me, I sure as hell ain't writing to you!  I'm a bit old fashioned and prefer that the man make the first move.  I don't consider adding me to your favorites or trying to add me to your circle of friends without "speaking" to me to be an acceptable first move.



MidMichCowboy -> RE: Admirers...Waiting for the sub to make the first move? (4/27/2008 10:48:15 AM)

I will often put someone on my favorites list to follow them. I guess I am just cautious. I want to read what they write and follow what they do in CM. I read their journals and what they post on the boards. Then, if something really strikes me, I will send them a note.
Part of the reason, I don't want to be deleted without being read and I want to know enough about the person to write an intelligent note. I would hope I'm not ignored and that just maybe, we find something in common.
Even that doesn't work most of the time. I guess I could always compose a good form letter!  [:)]



Maya2001 -> RE: Admirers...Waiting for the sub to make the first move? (4/27/2008 10:52:00 AM)

Some may be admirers because they enjoy your pictures, or they may be admirers of posts you have written on the message forums some may admire you as a friend....the admirer list does not necessarily represent a get to personally know/love you interest.  



faerytattoodgirl -> RE: Admirers...Waiting for the sub to make the first move? (4/27/2008 10:53:10 AM)

i block admirer's...whats the point of them? they never write you...and they're always male...(which im not looking for)..so block is my friend.



MsStarlett -> RE: Admirers...Waiting for the sub to make the first move? (4/27/2008 11:01:17 AM)

I also put people on my 'Favorites' so I can find them.  It's the easiest way for me to send messages that are not replies.  The people on my 'Public Friends' are actually the people that I enjoy writing to.  Some of them have actually 'dropped off the face of the world' and I haven't figured out how to remove them from my friends list.  Oh well.  One can never have to many friends.



AMaster -> RE: Admirers...Waiting for the sub to make the first move? (4/27/2008 11:10:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: s0ngbird

It has been my experience, under this pseudonym as well as others, that some Doms simply tag someone as a favorite, sit back, and wait to see if li'l fishie takes the bait.  I find it fascinating that many would supposedly like a profile enough to be on an "admirers" list, yet never even send a "Howdy!"  Anyone else have thoughts, concerns, grins to share on this?

S


Worse than that is a sub who does not answer your e-mail, but adds you to her admirers list.  It leaves me confused.  I guess anythig is better than being ignored.



CalifChick -> RE: Admirers...Waiting for the sub to make the first move? (4/27/2008 11:45:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett
Some of them have actually 'dropped off the face of the world' and I haven't figured out how to remove them from my friends list. 


Go to your friends list and you can delete them there.  Also, if you are on someone else's friends list and don't want to be, you can remove yourself from their list.

Cali



CalifChick -> RE: Admirers...Waiting for the sub to make the first move? (4/27/2008 11:48:59 AM)

As to the original question, in my world it doesn't matter if I make the first "move" or not... I don't play those kinds of games. If I'm interested in someone, or something they say piques my interest, I write.  Not that it matters. Apparently my ability to detect sincerity has broken.

Cali



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