DS4DUMMIES
Posts: 180
Joined: 8/7/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: impossiblesub
Most bosses are vanilla Doms I suppose. The problem I see a lot is that many know how to boss people, but they do not know how to lead people. Good leadership skills are rare. I have a dog and when I was obedience training it I learned that this is a problem a lot of people have with dogs. They think they are in charge but they are not because they do not know how to handle the dog properly so the dog exhibits behavioral problems.
It was talked about in another thread that a lot of people are so submissive you can make them be dominant and they are doing so out of submissiveness. An example of this is the person who gets promoted to supervisor.
I agree that leadership and being bossy are wholly different concepts. As Master of a vessel at sea, "bossing" people around is a useless exercise. Leadership in my sense involves two things. The idea is to inspire cohesion in the crew so they work together despite their differences in other arenas, and more importantly, to inspire in them, a belief in me as their Captain, and in so doing cause them to trust me to make the right decisions.... the sum of which, gets them home for every crew change safely. All of this is especially true during dangerous situations. Note the word "inspire" . It covers a lot of ground, but basically means that one way or another, the crew needs to see the inevitability of command and feel assured that they are following someone who can deliver the goods. This involves creating discipline aboard while maintaining a good atmosphere, leading as opposed to browbeating (if I am sent someone new in the crew who is too difficult - I don't waste time with them - I send them back to the company to reassign...) and avoiding the appearance of my being "one of the crew". I have to stay above that. It's easy to do given my personality - and yet, you can't seem to be so lofty that you're unapproachable, or will not listen to the crew's needs and ideas. It's a balancing act. It simply has to be the case that what I say - goes. I can do that without being "bossy".
In my view, some people "need" bosses...while others "seek" leadership. I want a crew that wants to be led. "Leading" is not micromanaging or by any stretch doing it all yourself. There are responsibilities they have been assigned and I expect them to adhere to them and do them well.
So all of this as it relates to the OP...is that as a leader, I have zero desire to join the ranks of the crew - be it at sea or in a D/s relationship. No "reverse" desires to get away from the stress of command and reverse roles to "bottom". I work best when I am in command of the situation - no matter where that is. There is simply no room for compromise n that score. I crave responsibility and handle it well.
< Message edited by DS4DUMMIES -- 4/29/2008 5:51:56 AM >
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"When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly.” Patrick Overton
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an interesting observation... - 
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