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RE: Female As Whore - 5/4/2008 4:52:21 AM

beltainefaerie

Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
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I think a lot of whether something feels positive or negative depends on tone and intent. Master is the only person who has ever used the word "bitch" and made it hot. I am regularly refered to as a slut by my loved ones. When I return from being with my Master, my vanilla husband often lovingly smiles at me and asks something like, "did my slut have fun?" or tells me that he's happy I'm his slut or that his slut is home safe. Master has used the terms slut and whore both positively and negatively in the context of play, but only lovingly in more "normal life" interactions, which I think makes a difference. None of my partners have ever implied that I would ACTUALLY go fuck someone else, as the OP mentioned her partner was harrassing her about. If I were to be teased about the manner in which I was dressed, it wouldn't be mean or for lack of a better word, real. (For example, since I am pregnant and the belly takes up much more room now, I sometimes check whether something is too short, etc. My loved ones told me the other day, with much laughter, that it depended on where I was going. Basically, if their little slut was visiting her Master it would be appropriate and if I was going to teach, it was WAY too short)

Also, after an intense experience, whether that involved humiliation or heavy pain play or whatnot, Master always ends by holding me. Sometimes there is a litle space to let me come down, but eventually I always end up either snuggling him, our curled at his feet with him stroking my hair, etc. (Aftter rape play, snuggling would disrupt the energy, I think, so he lets me come back to a more "normal" state first, but at some point that day we will reconnect in a positive physical way)

He has also made it very clear over the years that he cherishes the very fact that I am a slut. Though he may tease and humiliate me, he cherishes what I am and what he can do with me. However I may feel at the moment, later I adore the experience and beg for more. I think that is a huge part of it. I may be called names, my body may merely be a vehical for his pleasure, but ultimately, he values me. In the moment, I am an object, but a cherished object. I think it also helps that when I am not actively serving as his cum sucking whore, I am also his friend. He values my opinion, we have long, deep conversations AND I get to be a slut for his use, an object for his torture, etc.

(in reply to variation30)

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RE: Female As Whore - 5/4/2008 10:32:35 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
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quote:

To all the successful dominants, how do you walk the line between humiliation and degradation when using words like "whore" and "slut" to address your submissive? My last dominant wasn't particularly successful since I'm no longer with him. I went from feeling like his treasure to feeling like his skanky booty call. What lengths do you go to in a relationship or a session to ensure that your submissive partner doesn't begin to believe that's all she/he is to you, especially when many people are struggling with self-esteem issues? I know my self-worth although it can be a struggle at times, which is part of the reason I got out of the relationship, but I also love humiliation. I'm interested to find out how others are able to balance showing respect and making your submissive a wanton harlot.

FRH,

We are all different in approaches!

For this "D", I do not use anything beyound the initial conversation. She will come to know that I will not pull it from her; simply because it is already evident.

CP

(in reply to FlamingRedhead)

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Post #: 62

RE: Female As Whore - 5/4/2008 3:24:04 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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FRH, there are some submissives who thrive on being degraded. Evidently you are not one of them.

I have never used terms such as slut or whore except in the bedroom, They're powerful words and should be used carefully and under strict control.

A true Dominant cares for His or Her submissive and should not cause distress except for discipline, in short well-defined sessions. This requires Them to be very aware of Their submissive's emotional state.

It sounds to me like your "Dominant" was unaware or uncaring of your emotional state. In other words, a complete jerk.

In future, once you start seeing the alarm bells, leave.

(in reply to CelticPrince)

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Post #: 63

RE: Female As Whore - 5/6/2008 3:30:11 PM

MstrObjectmaker

Posts: 480
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I have one word that discribes your previous Dom.

"BULLY"

No in fact two more words.

"Control Freak"

In my estimation there is a big distinction between someone who is dominant and someone who merely bullies.

And from my own personal experience, someone who is a control freak and a bully often uses questionable language to brow beat another.

Put them down, make them feel small.

There is also a huge difference between a put down and a word used for humiliatory purposes.

(in reply to FlamingRedhead)

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RE: Female As Whore - 5/7/2008 11:56:50 AM

Greidiawl

Posts: 2
Joined: 2/14/2006
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Without knowing what his goal was, it is hard to understand his use of the words, but bottom line is that whatever he was trying to achieve was lost... as was his submissive in the end.

POSITIVE GOAL:
With regard to the use of the word "slut" and "whore", there is a massive difference when the little word 'my' is used as a prefix.

MY slut... MY whore... is a totally different concept to 'a slut' or 'a whore'.

You can use the words to achieve a positive frame of mind with the girl.

NEGATIVE GOAL:
If he was out to humiliate you then these words generally achieve that... but was it effective in controlling you?

NON CONTROLLED ACT:
If you are given instructions to dress in a certain way, to be presented as your Master's slut, then this should have been a positive and addressed as such.

If you were wearing clothes that your Master did not agree with, then it was either his failure to inform you of his requirements or he failed to punish you for not following instructions as you were not dressed as required.

Whatever applied, you should have been perfectly clear as to what his view was. As you did not understand why he was using those words, he lost respect.

S

(in reply to MstrObjectmaker)

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Post #: 65

RE: Female As Whore - 5/7/2008 12:11:01 PM

sabirah

Posts: 97
Status: offline

greetings to all

I would just like to say, I have learned much reading this thread. Usually, more often then not, I walk away with more confusion and questions then answers. Thank you to all who have contributed with the great advice and words of wisdom.

_____________________________

sincerely,
sabirah

The room is silent, absolutely silent, except for the decisive click of the collar lock.
It is a sound the girl will never forget.

(in reply to Greidiawl)

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Post #: 66

RE: Female As Whore - 5/7/2008 7:00:06 PM

Interesdom

Posts: 197
Joined: 5/24/2004
From: England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FlamingRedhead
To all the successful dominants, how do you walk the line between humiliation and degradation when using words like "whore" and "slut" to address your submissive? .... I know my self-worth although it can be a struggle at times, which is part of the reason I got out of the relationship, but I also love humiliation. I'm interested to find out how others are able to balance showing respect and making your submissive a wanton harlot.

A couple of asides first:
1) I don't use the word "whore" on a slave. Since a slave is owned property and I'm not a pimp, a slave is not entitled to consider that she can earn money (or favours, or anything else) from providing sex. I know that's a rather stiff attitude but it can be the little details of an issue that make a difference. (Words like slut and wanton are fine by me.)
2) For a very long time, I had a problem with the concept of humiliation purely because it is so hard to avoid degradation. Then I was told by a sub (who I was training in many areas and helping improve herself) that I'm very good at humiliation!

I think one of the big things about keeping the right balance is for the dominant to somewhat believe in what he is saying. Even if he is mis-using the word (such as 'whore'). When I tell a girl she's a sex-crazed cock sucker, it's true. If I say to her "what good are you for, other than being a cum bucket?" I know many alternate answers even if the only thing in her mind right then is the answer of "nothing".

Another important requirement is to truly create the balance by deeds and encouragement; for example, to help her develop in some ways (including sexual) and to express personal acceptance of her condition. There's a world of difference, whatever the actual words used, between the meaning of "you are a worthless slut who is a waste of my time" and "you are my lovely slut, who I enjoy."

I always try to build and improve anyone under my care. That doesn't usually stop me using them and toying with them to mutual satisfaction. They grow in directions that I desire and are good for them.

(in reply to FlamingRedhead)

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Post #: 67