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What should the punishment be? - 4/29/2008 6:15:29 PM   
MasterButtercup


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings A/all;      A question that I’m sure has arrived at this posting site many times in the past.    Allow me to set the stage,  I/we have a poly home and lifestyle, along with enjoying our M/s – HOH  life.      One of my girls is now just over a year and a half being owned by ME and 8 months actually in residence.  And yes she is a VERY good slave. BUT! Problematic as you will soon see.     It turns out that she has lied to our family about many different subjects including her being married, and now going through a divorce.  Along with this she was “owned” by  Master in another state we found out. Lied to us about just about everything…    Well,  one day she could no longer hold together all the lies, she crashed and we ended up in the hospital.  After which I/we found many documents telling the true story.     She has sense been through the mental health program, and has checked out clean and in good health and has,  as the Therapist says, “dealt with all the issues and problems, and now has a clear grasp on reality”        Now,  she begs to rejoin the family.      Rejoin ???  Hmmmmmm     PUNISHMENT ?  Indeed.  But what to do that only SHE will feel the pain, not the rest of my home. And no…I will never pick up a tool of pleasure such as a flogger or cane for the purpose of punishment.   Please feel free to share your ideas;  MB
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RE: What should the punishment be? - 4/29/2008 6:23:19 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		By my neasure, seems there is no trust left with all those lies.  For me, no trust, no relationship.  No relationship, no punishment.  I don't punish things I don't plan to keep. 

However, if you plan to reintegrate her, recompense will have to heal all that she has done to the rest of the family and somehow inspire new trust. Her lies hurt everyone not just the head of the house.

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RE: What should the punishment be? - 4/29/2008 6:33:03 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		this doesn't seem like a question of punishment.. why on earth would you want to put her back into your life?

mental problems are not an excuse for bad behavior -- plenty of people have them and remain honest and don't pull crap like that...

blah... sorry, I wouldn't have someone back like that.. not worth the risk

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RE: What should the punishment be? - 4/29/2008 6:43:51 PM   
OldBastardly1


Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline 		she would have to go...."get to stepping, bitch.... NOW!"

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RE: What should the punishment be? - 4/29/2008 6:48:43 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		I think you would be best off asking her therapist, provided you have her written permission to breach patient confidentiality. I find it vaguely disturbing you would consider doing anything with/to someone who clearly needs a fair amount of help in her existence. Disturbing also is that you would consider her behaviour "lying" when she clearly was, and perhaps is, in no fit state to function in accordance with your somewhat arbitrary rules. I think your primary concern needs to be her mental health, not YOUR CAPITALIZATION.

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RE: What should the punishment be? - 4/29/2008 7:03:38 PM   
kinkypuppy2


Posts: 345
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		Show her the otherside of the door and tell her to keep walking and do not look back.

Turst is everything.. you cannot nor will ever again trust her..

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RE: What should the punishment be? - 4/29/2008 7:09:19 PM   
KCherry


Posts: 2264
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: Send Help, Fla.
Status: offline 		I agree with the above posts, I dont think I could deal with that kinda drama/deceit/insanity.

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RE: What should the punishment be? - 4/29/2008 7:18:16 PM   
angelwithhonor


Posts: 193
Joined: 5/16/2007
Status: offline 		just had to say something on this post. i do understand that the trust issue has been broken! and that in it self should be the number one thing to look at!  i have battled mental health issues my whole life. But its not my nature to lie. my mental health issues wouldnt make me change my values. But i do think that this girl needs a guiding hand, even if You dont put her back into the home. therapy helps but F/friends F/family is what keeps us sane enough to get back on tract. well that and the meds. (at least for me it is) peace to what ever You decide Sir

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RE: What should the punishment be? - 4/29/2008 7:25:37 PM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		She is not worth the trouble you have been through with the lies.  I could no more trust her then I could trust a shark not to bite me.  Mental heath aside, what is going to stop her from lying to you again about something else.

Mike


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RE: What should the punishment be? - 4/29/2008 7:49:13 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Say no thank you and figure out how to improve your own methods and judgements so you do not make such an obvious and egregious mistake again.

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RE: What should the punishment be? - 4/29/2008 7:57:42 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		No dice.
Why in the world would you let such chaos back in your life?
I don't care how "good" a slave someone is, one thing I cannot abide is dishonesty.
Without it there is no such thing as a relationship, there is only a mirage built upon a facade .
I don't care if everything else is done right, if you lie, if you bring damage into my home and my life, you have failed the basic tenets of being a slave.


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RE: What should the punishment be? - 4/29/2008 8:01:59 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		The details are just too vague to really know... you ended up in the hospital - why? Did she try to kill herself? Was she mentally competent to make decisions while she was pulling off the deception? Just because the deception may (or may not) have been elaborate does not mean she was competent.

If she was incompetent and you want to keep her (for whatever reason), why would you seek to punish her for something she had no control over?

Too many unknowns.

Cali


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RE: What should the punishment be? - 4/29/2008 8:53:04 PM   
katie978


Posts: 352
Joined: 7/21/2007
Status: offline 		 In what possible sense could she still qualify as a VERY good slave? Unless your household revolves completely around the sexual side of BDSM, I don't see how you could ever accept her back into your lives. As you say that "instruments of pleasure" are never used to punish, how can you be sure she's doing anything you tell her. You could well be issueing orders that she's just ignoring because she happens to be off her crazy pills that day.

   I'm sorry, while I'll admit to not being the most sympathetic about mental health issues, I can't imagine any problems could cause her to go crazy and leave her husband and some random master and lie to you about literally everything in her life. And, even were that the case, I can't imagine they could be resolved by a few pills. Sorry, not buying it, no matter what her touted Therapist says.

  Leave the crazy one, she can only hurt you all again (and herself).

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RE: What should the punishment be? - 4/29/2008 9:08:40 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		Punish her for what??? having a mental breakdown.  What a great person you are.  While she is down in despair... why don't you go ahead and kick her a few more times.

BadOne

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RE: What should the punishment be? - 4/29/2008 9:11:18 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Maybe allowing her back into her family is punishment enough...

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RE: What should the punishment be? - 4/29/2008 9:15:37 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum
Punish her for what??? having a mental breakdown.

Sometimes these forums are pretty interesting.  It's nice to see the other side of the coin.  Nice post.
...I'd still opt for giving her the boot from what little I saw of it in the OP though. 


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I give good thread.

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RE: What should the punishment be? - 4/29/2008 9:22:20 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline 		http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXJL5B3Lb3s&feature=related  hey this guy has a theme song...awesome!!!

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RE: What should the punishment be? - 4/29/2008 9:46:54 PM   
MetalMayhem


Posts: 5
Joined: 4/12/2008
Status: offline 		Drop her like a bad habit!

If she has lied about her identity (basically) why the hell would you want to keep her around? In a poly relationship or any relationship, at that, you need Loyalty, Honesty, and Respect. Seems to me she has not given you any.

If you chose to keep her, get ready for some more grief. You consider her a "good slave" in my eyes, she is anything but.

M. NIKKI

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RE: What should the punishment be? - 4/29/2008 10:30:31 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterButtercup

Greetings A/all;      A question that I’m sure has arrived at this posting site many times in the past.    Allow me to set the stage,  I/we have a poly home and lifestyle, along with enjoying our M/s – HOH  life.      One of my girls is now just over a year and a half being owned by ME and 8 months actually in residence.  And yes she is a VERY good slave. BUT! Problematic as you will soon see.     It turns out that she has lied to our family about many different subjects including her being married, and now going through a divorce.  Along with this she was “owned” by  Master in another state we found out. Lied to us about just about everything…    Well,  one day she could no longer hold together all the lies, she crashed and we ended up in the hospital.  After which I/we found many documents telling the true story.     She has sense been through the mental health program, and has checked out clean and in good health and has,  as the Therapist says, “dealt with all the issues and problems, and now has a clear grasp on reality”        Now,  she begs to rejoin the family.      Rejoin ???  Hmmmmmm     PUNISHMENT ?  Indeed.  But what to do that only SHE will feel the pain, not the rest of my home. And no…I will never pick up a tool of pleasure such as a flogger or cane for the purpose of punishment.   Please feel free to share your ideas;  MB


Why are you going to punish her? Clearly she had a great deal of mental issues that she tried to hide from you. Were they straight out lies to hurt you? Or were they lies to protect herself? You can not punish someone who had a mental breakdown. I think it would be cruel.

Make up your mind, allow her to come back forgiven, and without consequences, or explain to her in a gentle manner that you can not accept her back into the fold. Be the kind of Dominant that the rest of your poly home will be proud of you for. I'm sure that they are just as hurt as you are, it isn't all about you.

Whatever you decide to do, do it with kindness and with good conscience. Let the rest of your family feel pride for having you in their lives.

MoGa

ETA: Welcome to the forums.

< Message edited by MistressOfGa -- 4/29/2008 10:31:12 PM >

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RE: What should the punishment be? - 4/30/2008 4:00:01 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		If someone had pulled such a catalog of lies and deception on Me, the only thing hitting her ass would the the door... on the way out. If never having a chance to pull that on Me again is a punishment, then it is one that maybe benifit a future Master as I would view any 'forgivness' of her on My part as reinforcing the "It doesn't matter as I'll eventualy get away with it" mindset of many liers and cheats. That sort of thing crosses a line past which, for Me, there is NO return. That they loose something important on a perminant basis is sometimes the only thing that brings them up short enough to bring about a change.

If you do take her back then good luck... you'll need it.


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And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

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