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bipolarber -> RE: seriously considering leaving the lifestyle (5/3/2008 7:25:43 AM)
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I've been into BDSM since I was a kid. I didn't really find out about the existence of a "community" until I got out of my high school and town in the middle of corn and beanfeilds and on my own. That was about 1980-82. Once away from the repressive enviorment, I began to really experiment with my sexuality, and eventually helped start one of Denver's early play party groups along with a small circle of good friends.
In the near 25 years I've spent "in the community" I've met tons of people who were deeply fucked up. I've also met a great many folk who just didn't fit in with mainstream society, and were just now (amidst the whips and ropes) finding their place.
During my time with the group, I watched plenty of marriages and relationships end. I also saw an nearly equal number begin, and many of those relationships continue to this day. (my own included) During the time of Ammendment #2, and the height of the AIDS epidemic, it seemed like I was going to political rallys one week, and a funeral the next, for years on end. (See how much THAT will burn you out sometime! On second thought I take that back... I don't wish that on anyone.)
BDSM is just a lifestyle. You're right about that. But no matter how you "style your life" it's going to continue to be just that... a life. Packed with all the difficult people, all the lies, all the players and all the dangers of disease, complications and broken hearts. There will be cars to fix, bills to pay, and pets to take to the vet. You and your partners will argue from time to time. You're going to go through some very nasty breakups on occasion.
But you will also meet some wonderful people. People who will stand by you. People who will teach you things (and not just about how to swing a flogger... we're talking about life in general here.)
BDSM isn't a utopia. Never was. But then, neither is anything in life.
But the great thing about life? You actually have one!
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