quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

I'd say her behavior isn't very polite. I mean, come on, the least anyone could do after a first meeting is say "I'm sorry to tell you this but I just didn't the sort of chemistry I'm looking for with a submissive."

Now, I've had first meetings, I've had initial negotiations and a trial/first scene and realized that there was nothing there to work with. I always told that person, I tried to be tactful but honest.

I'd not wait for her or continue to contact her if I were you but then I'm not a submissive so perhaps I can't understand fully.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

I'd say her behavior isn't very polite. I mean, come on, the least anyone could do after a first meeting is say "I'm sorry to tell you this but I just didn't the sort of chemistry I'm looking for with a submissive."

Now, I've had first meetings, I've had initial negotiations and a trial/first scene and realized that there was nothing there to work with. I always told that person, I tried to be tactful but honest.

I'd not wait for her or continue to contact her if I were you but then I'm not a submissive so perhaps I can't understand fully.

Do you really know in ALL cases, after a first vanilla date, if there is chemistry or not? Surely you do know when there is NO WAY there is chemistry. But in my experience, it's like a bellcurve, and a lot of men fall into a category of "I'm not sure if I could get into this guy or not." That "unsure pool" was larger when I was younger, and got smaller as I got experienced at dating. When I was in my 20s, I had a hard time knowing if I liked a guy or not. Call it FICKLE. Doesn't anyone remember what their 20s were like? Or do people not "date" so much anymore? My mom used to tell me to go out with a guy at least a couple of times before writing him off. Chemistry is a weird thing. Sometimes it doesn't kick in on first meeting. You know when you DON'T like a guy because you can't wait for the date to be over, but you also have dates where you have a nice time, the guy is "nice," you think he's "well, he's kind of cute, not SUPER hot, but cute," and did you have a good time -- SURE! It was "Fun". Would you do it again? "Well, if I didn't have anything else going on, maybe."

Ok - so my point is this. Sometimes you honestly don't know right away how you feel about someone. This might be the case, or she might not really care for him and wasn't mature enough to say no thanks. But I think it's not realistic to think everyone knows after one date how they feel about someone. If you date a lot, and do a lot of "first dates," you will know that sometimes you can't tell how you feel about someone, and whether or not you see him again will be determined by how busy you are, what other offers you have, or if someone who really lights your fire enters the picture.

I'm sure everyone has some experiences in social circles where you hang around in groups and get to know a variety of "friends," and there may be a person you eventually hook up with and date, but early on, you never would have succeeded on a "first date" with this person - they have a personality that is one you must get to know and a chemistry that is a slow burn, not an instant explosion.

Akasha