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Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 8:35:52 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
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My sole purpose is your pleasure.
It's all about you, I have no wants or needs.

Who are these folks? Don't we all have wants and needs? Does such a thing really exist? Do they not see that if they are actually fulfilled by being the total fulfillment of another that that in itself indicates that being that source of fulfillment is a want or need?

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

Post #: 1

RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 8:42:32 AM

abcbsex

Posts: 478
Joined: 3/29/2008
Status: offline

Definitely. Alpha's fulfillment is one of my biggest needs, especially in the bedroom. Outside of the bedroom I have a need for education, friendship, family, creativity... it helps that when those are accomplished, he's even more happy with me.

_____________________________

I was trained at MasterLordDarkness' Center for Subs Who Don't Serve Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too.....

but it needed to be at least.... four times bigger.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 2

RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 8:44:30 AM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: abcbsex

Definitely. Alpha's fulfillment is one of my biggest needs, especially in the bedroom. Outside of the bedroom I have a need for education, friendship, family, creativity... it helps that when those are accomplished, he's even more happy with me.

I have the need to orgasm, though I'll defer to him how I get there.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to abcbsex)

Post #: 3

RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 8:45:54 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

but, erin...it being all about Him makes this slave all warm and squishy!!!

it is very fulfilling to be Master's slave...and it is definitely something that she wants/needs. the particulars of how those wants and needs are met are decided by Him.

He often describes our relationship as being the "Master", and we are the "slaves" that serve it...He as the Dominant partner and this slave as the submissive partner. having our roles defined as such deeply satisfies both our wants/needs in an intimate relationship.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 4

RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 8:53:11 AM

AMaster

Posts: 814
Joined: 8/4/2005
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They need to serve........

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 5

RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 8:55:07 AM

OmegaG

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Joined: 10/23/2007
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I understand the need to serve, but there has to be a payoff. I can't imagine that someone would be totally satisfied if their obligations were cleaning up the chicken coop or mopping the floor day in and day out without any kind of reward stimulous.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to AMaster)

Post #: 6

RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 8:59:21 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

I understand the need to serve, but there has to be a payoff. I can't imagine that someone would be totally satisfied if their obligations were cleaning up the chicken coop or mopping the floor day in and day out without any kind of reward stimulous.

not to speak for AMaster but, being allowed to serve could be considered reward stimulus...it has been the only stimulus for this slave, many times, over the course of her journey.

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 7

RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 8:59:28 AM

WestBayLoner

Posts: 16
Joined: 4/7/2008
Status: offline

I think most people who express that or some variant of it are strongly service-oriented submissives. Obviously everyone has needs – and if one is searching in the BDSM community, very specialized ones at that.

Sometimes it can be difficult to express the feeling accurately though. I'm new in the scene, and I had a bit of trouble explaining to my dom that I'd rather do everything he wanted to do – even things that didn't particular appeal to me – than a set of things I'd laid out to try. I genuinely have a desire to please, but the fact that I'm setting out to please a dominant top means I know my needs will likely be satisfied no matter what we do, and I don't require anything more specific than that.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 8

RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 8:59:41 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
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Offers Omega a 15% tip. Don't push it for more I need the gas money.

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 9

RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 9:02:36 AM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
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and 15% of nothing is what?

While I understand the need to serve, I can't help but thinking that serving in itself would become drudgery all too quickly. I think that they would need affection or appreciation or sex or something to keep the serving pleasureful.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 10

RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 9:06:21 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
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You left out getting a back rub.

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 11

RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 9:07:39 AM

subtee

Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline

I want you
I need you
But -- there aint no way Im ever gonna love you
Now dont be sad
cause two out of three aint bad
Now dont be sad
cause two out of three aint bad

Meatloaf now....crap.

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 12

RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 9:11:50 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

tee Simon said that was a kareoke performance, Paula said someting also but we can never understand her,Randy just sits and barks with the other dogs.

(in reply to subtee)

Post #: 13

RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 9:18:56 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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I don't get it either. But I have known a couple of the type personally, and I know that it can be a valid feeling. One of my buddies cannot orgasm at all, but she enjoys the preliminaries. For her it is attention and that is her need. So I guess, even my somewhat selfless friend has that need filled. That is not to say she needs constant attention, she does not. She is more of a person who never got attention before so anything is better than nothing.
I haven't talked to the other enough to know why, but that one is a male.
If it were not for these two people I might say that they had more of a need to be seen as "subblier than thou".
I do have needs, wants and desires. I love sex. I crave stimulation. I enjoy orgasms. It is not that selfless, needless, wantless, persona that some people seem to have. But then I would not wish to be with anyone who had a need to be with someone like that.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 14

RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 9:25:49 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Missokyst would you say that this is more of a submisive trait as opposed to a slave trait?

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 15

RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 9:29:41 AM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

These could actually be openminded people without any expectations....

.. but then again they could also be desperate.

It depends on the situation, people and point of view.

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(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 16

RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 9:36:32 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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I don't know. As for myself, I have endured the slave state early on in my bdsm activity. And I do say endured because I mean it that way. For one man I was nothing but a slave. I changed my speech patterns to something he found more pleasuable. I learned when he wanted me to be noisy in bed, and when he wanted no noise, no motion, nothing but to use me like I was a vinyl doll. I learned to use cuss words, smoke, and not recoil when people used drugs around me. He never asked me to take drugs so that was thankfully never a place I had to cross. But I would have, if he had asked.
I was his slave, with no thoughts beyond his pleasure.
But I was there because I was nothing to me.
I lived for him because I felt that was the only pleasure I deserved. I was his for five years in body, and another 15 years in mind, even though there were men after him.
For me that slave state is destructive. I know I could be there again, but I will not allow it. People should have needs. They should feel the right to pleasure. By turning my own off for someone else I killed a part of myself which cannot be reclaimed. In my head I am still a sex toy. I haven't been able to overcome that, only control who controls it.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 17

RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 10:13:57 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

After I wrote this post I remembered a girl I knew several years ago. She was one who claimed to have no wants or needs....her entire existence was for the sole purpose of his pleasure. They were married and quite well off. She did not work outside the home. Every year she got a brand new car, she was a creative cook and there was no short supply of top quality food on their table, their home was gorgeous. The first time I saw their bedroom I can remember thinking that I'd never seen so many pillows and I thought that if that were my bed I might just never get out of it. She had excellent health insurance. At least two nights a week they went out for a nice dinner....and she went out with the girls at least one night a week. Her clothing was always "this year's". She went to the spa once a week to have her hair and nails done. Her husband/Master loved her dearly and was very openly affectionate. He showered her in gifts and flowers frequently. Most of her days were spent in the garden or doing crafts, watching tv or playing on the computer. Yet with all of that provided for her she still insisted that her sole purpose and interest in life was him. Now granted, I am sure he got great pleasure from being able to provide so well that he could give her a dream life...but I have to wonder if he was a pauper who couldn't provide any of that....would she still be wantless and needless? I guess that if all of your needs and wants are already provided for it would be pretty easy to say that you have none.

But of course we can't all be so blessed. So I wonder, if you were in a relationship were your most basic needs were not being met....food, shelter...a place to lay your head....what, other than a serious lack of self esteem....would keep a person there?

Now before anyone goes there, I am NOT saying that one can only be fulfilled with money. I have spent many days of my life in relationships where we didn't have two cents to rub together and no idea where dinner was going to come from....but during those dark days we pulled together and plunged on to make it better...and we had each other to lean on and draw support from....as a cohesive unit....a relationship....that was reciprocal.

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 5/1/2008 10:14:22 AM >

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 18

RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 10:16:37 AM

khem

Posts: 300
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline

From what I gather, a large part of the satisfaction from service acts comes from the approval and/or happiness of the person they are doing it for. Like, just doing the dishes is lame. Doing the dishes because it makes their top happy and more relaxed is an entirely different thing. It's all where your head's at, I guess.

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 19

RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 10:20:48 AM

abcbsex

Posts: 478
Joined: 3/29/2008
Status: offline

We are a cohesive unit... just, a D/s cohesive unit. That said, Alpha and I strongly believe in equal partnership. The way we fill that partnership is different, but the pieces fit.

_____________________________

I was trained at MasterLordDarkness' Center for Subs Who Don't Serve Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too.....

but it needed to be at least.... four times bigger.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 20

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