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RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 4:11:27 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

My sole purpose is your pleasure.
It's all about you, I have no wants or needs.


In my experience it's all a lie.  The big danger is when I discover the submissive has been successfully lying to herself as well as to others.

When it's a conscious lie, I can usually bring them to a more honest state in a few hours (although I may have to wear ear protectors toward the end of it.)  Sadly, if the lie is internal, be braced for a rough ride as cognitive dissonance kicks in and the very basis of her existence is challenged.

_____________________________

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(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 4:15:49 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		people say it.. some even believe it.. I don't.. its only good on paper.. those who say it the loudest are the biggest hypocrits in my experience

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 4:22:08 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		A good way to test this is to reply "Oh cool, then you won't mind attending your reunion wearing only a diaper the whole time?

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I'm not taking custom orders.

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 5:19:18 PM   
AllietheKitten


Posts: 115
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline 		I agree completely with Missokyst. Its is not healthy for a person to have no desires. Everyone has the right to pleasure. And I really think the "I take pleasure only in your pleasure" routine is bullshit. I think its someone who has no sense of who they are or what they want, so the abdicate their personal responsibility in lieu of being told what to do.

There is nothing more revolting them a mind-numbed robot. And there is nothing sexier than finding a smart, self-aware, uninhibited boy and then Domming the hell out of him!

_____________________________

I don't believe in Destiny
Or the guiding hand of Fate
I don't believe in forever
of love as a mystical state
But I believe there's a ghost of a chance
We can find someone to love and make it last.
~Rush

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 5:20:14 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		I'm always reminded of this song when someone claims to be totally altruistic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3g5G0PFuXQ

And I start laughing..................

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 5:26:21 PM   
AllietheKitten


Posts: 115
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline 		Aw dammit! That's almost as bad as being RickRolled!!! Do you realize that I will now have that song in my head for DAYS?!?! *evil*

_____________________________

I don't believe in Destiny
Or the guiding hand of Fate
I don't believe in forever
of love as a mystical state
But I believe there's a ghost of a chance
We can find someone to love and make it last.
~Rush

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 5:32:58 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Ha hahahahahahahahahahahaa.......................

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to AllietheKitten)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 5:33:33 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

My sole purpose is your pleasure.
It's all about you, I have no wants or needs.



Having read the entire thread and thought about this again I still stand by what I wrote earlier. It's someone without expectations.

Context is quite important in language. The above statement about 'I have no wants or needs' to my mind obviously involves ellipsis and therefore we could add 'at this particular moment in time'.

Interesting to note how many of you have already dismissed this as bullshit.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
Who are these folks? Don't we all have wants and needs? Does such a thing really exist? Do they not see that if they are actually fulfilled by being the total fulfillment of another that that in itself indicates that being that source of fulfillment is a want or need?


Who are these folks? They could be anyone, but at that particular moment in time they are someone who is quite comfortable in their submissiveness who are confident enough to let the D type take the lead and shape their own wants and needs to those of the Dominant.

These are statements from someone who is talking about here and now and not making a statement of who they are as a person or making any statement about a permanent situation unlikely to change.

But as we can see communication also relies on effective listening and comprehension of what is being said.

Other people can and will take things out of context. They believe what they want to believe and disregard the rest.


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(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 5:49:05 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Yes the fulfillment I get from pleasing him is a need and also a want. It is a mutual thing. I get what I need and he gets what he needs. My want is to please him and my need is to do that also. He fulfills that by being pleased.

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Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 6:01:51 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		I guess I haven't really heard many s-types say that their only need is their d-type's happiness.  And only once has anyone indicated that as a slave the only thing I needed was for my master to be happy.  As soon as I processed it, I balked 'cause obviously that goes against common sense.  I know that feeling responsible for another persons happiness is a bad road to travel down.  I like seeing other people happy and am happier when others are happy, but I can't take on the burden of making someone else happy.  Happiness comes from within.  It doesn't come from me.  And, yes, I've been called a bad slave.

I have, over the years, learned to make a sharp differentiation between wants and need and have focused on making my needs a priority.  I've spent a decade or more living on the edge, self-consciously pursuing an austere life because of certain committments I made when I was young.  I don't want to be a part of the rat race and have avoided actively participating in our materialist consumption driven cultre.  Basically, I've tried to "live simply so others may simply live".  At the moment, I have everything I need, and I don't want for much.  The things I want from others tend to be intangibles--respect, to feel valued, affection.

So, when I talk to others and they ask me what I want, I do often end up answering "i dunno."  It really doesn't matter to me if we eat at Wendy's or McDonalds, go to a movie or wander around the mall. There's things I don't like to do and that bore me to tears, but other than that, I'm pretty much ok with most stuff and will try anything once.  I really do get my fulfillment out of the company I keep, and the pleasure of being with them.  So long as my needs--particularly my need for security--are met, I don't want for much.

Afterthought:  There's some needs I have that I don't want fulfilled and I kick and scream all the way to fulfillment.  I don't want a job, but I need one.  I don't want to go to the grocery store, but I need food.  I don't want Mrtopdaddysupersir, whoever he may be at the moment, to do x, y, and z but I need him too to remain functional in the relationship.  Needs and wants don't always coexist peacfully.  So, I may try to deny my needs in the interests of what I want.  (Not sure where I'm going with this...)

So, I don't know.  I have needs but I try to remain as close to wantless as possible whether or not there's a Mrtopdaddysupersir in my life.

< Message edited by gypsygrl -- 5/1/2008 6:21:52 PM >

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 6:08:02 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		People say "do me" submissives like it is horribly worse from the do me dominant.  Either way someone is exhibiting that behavior, how is one worse than the other?  It is so nice with both people have needs and wants and have the opportunity to have them filled by another.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: Evility

It is a need but it's a very different need than what you see exhibited by the average do-me submissive.




_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to Evility)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 6:41:25 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I am in that state of being sometimes, but it's not something I've maintained.  I've also learned it's completely possible (and usually advisable) to put BOTH yourself and the other person first simultaneously and think "only" of you both.

As well, as noted, those people still need to be in a particular relationship.  I'm not sure many of them would be fulfilled as single people, or in monogamous relationship with a slave themselves.  So obviously there are needs, it's simply WITHIN that relationship, the only thing they need is for things to stay as they are.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 8:12:53 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly

quote:

ORIGINAL: khem

From what I gather, a large part of the satisfaction from service acts comes from the approval and/or happiness of the person they are doing it for.  Like, just doing the dishes is lame.  Doing the dishes because it makes their top happy and more relaxed is an entirely different thing.  It's all where your head's at, I guess.


Absolutely


I do not disagree, but I would point out that (with exceptions, of course) the expression of approval or pleasure on the part of the dominant is somewhat necessary.  I suspect that service performed with the absence of any sign of approval or pleasure would most likely be unfulfilling for most submissives.

(in reply to MistressDolly)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 8:20:28 PM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

I can't imagine that someone would be totally satisfied if their obligations were cleaning  up the chicken coop or mopping the floor day in and day out without any kind of reward stimulous.

Cleaning is very rewarding, to me.  i get an imediate reward of satisfaction in seeing the result of my labor.  i like being in a clean surrounding.
 
Of course, i have basic needs of an adequate diet, a safe place to live, healthcare, etc., along with other needs that are necessary to maintain my physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual health.  Having those needs met allows me the ability to do more for my Master.  Being healthy and happy makes me a better servant and companion.  To ignore those needs would be detrimental to me and to my ability to serve my Master.
 
joy
Owned servant of Master David

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 9:31:45 PM   
Vigilantejustice


Posts: 106
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Who are these folks?


the walking Dead!


But even the walking dead need human flesh, right? Or blood, depending on the variety of undead.

Vamps and zombies and submissives, oh my!
-Corinne
House Vigilante

_____________________________

“Love begets love. This torment is my joy.”
"Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries."
"[Your work] is carved out of agony as a statue is carved out of marble." -All by Theodore Roethke

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 10:27:52 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

My sole purpose is your pleasure.
It's all about you, I have no wants or needs.


Who are these folks? Don't we all have wants and needs? Does such a thing really exist? Do they not see that if they are actually fulfilled by being the total fulfillment of another that that in itself indicates that being that source of fulfillment is a want or need?


Of course I have needs as well as desires.  He decides which are met.  There are things I need to survive, and there are things I need to thrive.  There have been times when only the survival needs were met.   They were tough, but they happened.  There was a time when what was expected of me was beyong my capability.  The hardest part about that was not being able to provide what he wanted and expected of me.  When he realized what was happening, he changed it. 

It is not that I have no needs or that he wants me to go without.  It is that my priority is to put him first.  And when I do, that's when I am most peaceful.

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/1/2008 11:48:52 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

My sole purpose is your pleasure.
It's all about you, I have no wants or needs.


In my experience it's all a lie.  The big danger is when I discover the submissive has been successfully lying to herself as well as to others.

When it's a conscious lie, I can usually bring them to a more honest state in a few hours (although I may have to wear ear protectors toward the end of it.)  Sadly, if the lie is internal, be braced for a rough ride as cognitive dissonance kicks in and the very basis of her existence is challenged.

whew cognitive dissonance
now there's a great masochistic('s) perversion


_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
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To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/2/2008 12:27:10 AM   
slyboots


Posts: 6
Joined: 7/16/2006
Status: offline 		I've met a few people who claim to give themselves and want nothing more but no matter how many times they say this, its not always true. There is always something gaines in return and its an endless cycle. While you may argue the satisfaction  of pleasing one could be their reward, it could also be a form of control As humans we are very very selfish and stupid sometimes and offers like these, people like these can and sometimes will use their ultimate submissive gift as their fishing line to get control of someone.

I wouldn't mind finding someone who isn't going to break down once they find that they can't give me what they want or who isn't going to use me  but in the end I'll settle for someone who lets their motives known before they start to give.

(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/2/2008 3:56:31 AM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline
quote:

whew cognitive dissonance
now there's a great masochistic('s) perversion


Ain't it the truth?  :)

I read that post, and thought, god, he writes that as if its a bad thing.

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Wantless, needless people - 5/2/2008 4:02:01 AM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline
quote:

Of course I have needs as well as desires.  He decides which are met.  There are things I need to survive, and there are things I need to thrive.


Just out of curiosity, would you distinguish between wants and desires?  For me, desires are stronger than wants, more along the lines of drives but not necessary for survival in the same way needs are.

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 60
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