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RE: cynicism/selfishness - 5/8/2008 4:23:32 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado


Selfish...        thinking of one's own pleasure or good and not considering other people

 
 



i always thought of that that description as that of a hedonist.

Selfishness can often be confused with taking care of yourself. As another poster pointed out...the Airlines will tell you to put on your own O2 mask before turning to asst your child. Selfish? Absolutly not. What good would i be to anyone else if i am not taken care of?



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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: cynicism/selfishness - 5/8/2008 5:34:35 AM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Loveisallyouneed

I am discovering I just don't have the tolerance I once had for the cynical and selfish.

They are so boring and so common.

Why do so many people set the bar so low for themselves that the best they can achieve in their own eyes is paranoia and greed?



Not to snark atcha, man, but this post is pretty cynical.

I have a hypothesis that there is an ebb and flow of this sort of behavior. People become jaded through societal interactions. We learn disbelieve our governments, we learn to distrust each other. It takes a long time to get to this point but being cynical and untrusting can be a good thing.

The problem is that it blinds us to how to make effective and positive change instead of remaining jaded (criticizing is infinitely easier than problem solving), and it takes just as long to become unjaded as it did to get to that stage. I am, however, confident that the removal of cynicism and the advancement of ideas for change happens, and it seems to start with just a very few people, moving across populations like waves.

(in reply to Loveisallyouneed)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: cynicism/selfishness - 5/8/2008 5:48:35 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		nursery rhymes,  ring around the rosy, sing shout yell dance jump on trampeline.

teachers tell us we are a civil and just society.


job loss, death of loved ones, loosing some of health job, starting all over,,,,,


it is logical one would have a down period.

stop to smell the roses.


it varies in time and place as to how dog eat dog things are.


on the other hand negative begets negetive.

i can be niavely accomadating.   and viciously obstructing;  it rotates


(in reply to batshalom)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: cynicism/selfishness - 5/8/2008 6:31:00 AM   
Loveisallyouneed


Posts: 348
Joined: 2/5/2008
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Whether there is a silver lining available to us, my fabulous luck(alot of things negative happen but I don't focus on it), or if we attract what is brought to us: one thing I know is nothing good will come to you with a negative attitude except other messed up people. You come across very messed up and suffering. You even mention your suffering on the first line of your profile. As a Submissive I would never seek to submit to who you portray yourself to be. Its not confident, or happy , or together mentally. Maybe others are banging down your door and its just me, but your attitude does affect your life and who wants to be with you.


lol, I am not looking for someone to submit to me here, I am looking for a conversation on the topic described in the OP.

It is strange that suffering, which is as much a part of life as anything else, should be symptomatic of being "messed up".

I have found that among those who have experienced suffering and who did "focus on it" there are a few who come away from their experiences with profound insights into the human condition.

Not all are broken by suffering, as your post seems to suggest.

I have no objection if the less mature who have not the life experience to see the value of suffering for personal growth wish to avoid me. If overcoming such adversity as I've described is the sign of a weak man, who lacks "confidence" and is neither "happy" nor "mentally together" then it is no wonder so many fail to overcome such adversity.

But compare your attitude with that of Stef:

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

You go, Bob!  Trot out those moldy corpses again and see of you can wrangle a couple more sympathy votes from those who haven't caught on to your shtick yet.

~stef


You see, according to Stef talking about my wife and child is supposed to bring out "sympathy". But obviously there is enough cynicism in society that the loss is mocked publicly and without censure by anyone.

That would be the 'healthy society' I am supposed to want to attract?

btw, for the record, the first line of profile says :"The value of words is in the deeds that follow them." and I invite anyone interested to compare my profile with your claim that it repesents a man who is "very messed up and suffering ... not confident, or happy , or together mentally."
 
I am just a man.
I have loved, and I have suffered the loss of those I love.
I do not play games with the heart. Life is far too short for that.
I am affectionate.
I am romantic.
I am protective in a fatherly way.
I am fair.
I am reasonable.
I believe open communication is essential in any relationship.
I am a Child of the Forest, a Lover of Life.

I am an advocate of simplicity.
I am a humble disciple of Love.




< Message edited by Loveisallyouneed -- 5/8/2008 6:56:49 AM >

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When all is said and done, what will you regret?

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: cynicism/selfishness - 5/8/2008 6:35:40 AM   
Loveisallyouneed


Posts: 348
Joined: 2/5/2008
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado


Selfish...        thinking of one's own pleasure or good and not considering other people

 
 



i always thought of that that description as that of a hedonist.

Selfishness can often be confused with taking care of yourself. As another poster pointed out...the Airlines will tell you to put on your own O2 mask before turning to asst your child. Selfish? Absolutly not. What good would i be to anyone else if i am not taken care of?




The instruction they give is for parents to mask themselves before their children, as the reverse is much more difficult.

Parents are being told to ignore their natural urge to think of their children first (selfless) and to take care of themselves because in an emergency they may not have time to mask their child and then themselves.

They are not being urged to be selfish, but to recognize the reality of the emergency may not permit them to be as selfless as they would otherwise choose.

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: cynicism/selfishness - 5/8/2008 6:45:57 AM   
Loveisallyouneed


Posts: 348
Joined: 2/5/2008
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: batshalom

I have a hypothesis that there is an ebb and flow of this sort of behavior. People become jaded through societal interactions. We learn disbelieve our governments, we learn to distrust each other. It takes a long time to get to this point but being cynical and untrusting can be a good thing.


I'm afraid I don't see it that way.

Social cohesion depends upon mutual trust and respect. Where they are lacking society disintegrates. Inner city ghettoes are an example, where mutual trust and respect are found in gangs that spring up to fill the vacuum left behind by the collapse of social cohesion.

One need only examine the growth in crime, especially violent crime. Increasing divorce rates is another symptom of the problem.

quote:


The problem is that it blinds us to how to make effective and positive change instead of remaining jaded (criticizing is infinitely easier than problem solving), and it takes just as long to become unjaded as it did to get to that stage. I am, however, confident that the removal of cynicism and the advancement of ideas for change happens, and it seems to start with just a very few people, moving across populations like waves.


Well, I hate being blind, and have spent more than a couple of decades analyzing the problem to see if there is a way to reverse it.

As near as I can tell this is a back-lash to the sixties, and that was a phenomenon that is not likely to reoccur in my lifetime.

That means this process has been building for over forty years, and will, according to you, take another forty to reverse (assuming it started now and there is no sign the cynical are decreasing in numbers).

If you have some way to reverse this trend, I'd be happy to hear it (and telling me it takes one person at a time does nothing to counter the influence of mass media that promotes both greed and paranoia).

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

(in reply to batshalom)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: cynicism/selfishness - 5/8/2008 9:41:58 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		There is someone on the forum. A submissive man who has suffered greatly. Darchchylde had the same experience with the death of his family and yet who he is and his projection of himself is very positive and he doesnt dwell on his past suffering. he seems to spread joy and laughter. Yes it is a learning experience. Suffering. You can live in the past or learn that life is fleeting and learn to make the most of every minute.

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: cynicism/selfishness - 5/8/2008 10:01:26 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Idiotic idealists often see a realistic point of view as cynical.

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: cynicism/selfishness - 5/8/2008 10:32:32 AM   
DesertRat


Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Loveisallyouneed
...It is strange that suffering, which is as much a part of life as anything else, should be symptomatic of being "messed up"...

I have found that among those who have experienced suffering and who did "focus on it" there are a few who come away from their experiences with profound insights into the human condition...

Not all are broken by suffering, as your post seems to suggest.

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef
You go, Bob!  Trot out those moldy corpses again and see of you can wrangle a couple more sympathy votes from those who haven't caught on to your shtick yet.


You see, according to Stef talking about my wife and child is supposed to bring out "sympathy". But obviously there is enough cynicism in society that the loss is mocked publicly and without censure by anyone.


What's being treated mockingly is the obscene manner in which you cheapen the memories of those you loved and lost by bandying them about in a public forum. I like to look for "opposites". For example, one portraying him or herself as suffering  grievous losses while actually attempting to use those losses as "credentials", as events that have conferred special insights and wisdom.

It's just gross. Cheap. Tacky.

Bob  

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: cynicism/selfishness - 5/8/2008 10:42:54 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat

quote:

ORIGINAL: Loveisallyouneed
...It is strange that suffering, which is as much a part of life as anything else, should be symptomatic of being "messed up"...

I have found that among those who have experienced suffering and who did "focus on it" there are a few who come away from their experiences with profound insights into the human condition...

Not all are broken by suffering, as your post seems to suggest.

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef
You go, Bob!  Trot out those moldy corpses again and see of you can wrangle a couple more sympathy votes from those who haven't caught on to your shtick yet.


You see, according to Stef talking about my wife and child is supposed to bring out "sympathy". But obviously there is enough cynicism in society that the loss is mocked publicly and without censure by anyone.


What's being treated mockingly is the obscene manner in which you cheapen the memories of those you loved and lost by bandying them about in a public forum. I like to look for "opposites". For example, one portraying him or herself as suffering  grievous losses while actually attempting to use those losses as "credentials", as events that have conferred special insights and wisdom.

It's just gross. Cheap. Tacky.

Bob  


Uh huh.......The "Martyr complex" is an old strategy in forums like this-and garners little or no sympathy and respect. Instead, it points to a rather insulting form of emotional manipulation overall. That the reader would be beleived naive enough to fall for it is even  more insulting.
 
 Which is why the op catches so much flack. We really aren't that stupid. And will not hesistate to make that point.
 
 
 
 

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: cynicism/selfishness - 5/8/2008 10:43:32 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Loveisallyouneed

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I am both cynical and selfish. Which by no means equates to boring, common, paranoid and greedy. Cynical means that I can often easily predict the worst possible scenario and see when people are deluding themselves.


No, "cynical" expects the "worst possible scenario" and expects " people are deluding themselves.

quote:


Selfish means I am not willing to be used up by someone else, giving everything and receiving nothing.


No, "selfish" means thinking only of one's self, and not thinking of others at all.



you open a thread then proceed to contradict anyone who posts.


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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: cynicism/selfishness - 5/8/2008 10:47:07 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: Loveisallyouneed

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I am both cynical and selfish. Which by no means equates to boring, common, paranoid and greedy. Cynical means that I can often easily predict the worst possible scenario and see when people are deluding themselves.


No, "cynical" expects the "worst possible scenario" and expects " people are deluding themselves.

quote:


Selfish means I am not willing to be used up by someone else, giving everything and receiving nothing.


No, "selfish" means thinking only of one's self, and not thinking of others at all.



you open a thread then proceed to contradict anyone who posts.



Can arguing be a fetish?

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: cynicism/selfishness - 5/8/2008 10:51:28 AM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		Leatherist... I would say it is a fetish...if after a particularly satisfying post you need to clean your screen..replace your keyboard,  or change you pants.

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: cynicism/selfishness - 5/8/2008 10:52:45 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

Leatherist... I would say it is a fetish...if after a particularly satisfying post you need to clean your screen..replace your keyboard,  or change you pants.


OMG, I am helping the op get his rocks off...........time to leave the topic!

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I'm not taking custom orders.

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: cynicism/selfishness - 5/8/2008 10:57:13 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

Leatherist... I would say it is a fetish...if after a particularly satisfying post you need to clean your screen..replace your keyboard,  or change you pants.


OMG, I am helping the op get his rocks off...........time to leave the topic!


LMAO!!!


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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: cynicism/selfishness - 5/8/2008 11:03:11 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat
Bob  


Hey, DesertRat?  Sweetie?  Hon?  Have you ever thought about signing your posts a little differently? Cuz it looks like you're resting from digging up something from a grave there, and well, the two things together...

Cali


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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: cynicism/selfishness - 5/8/2008 12:37:11 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Greetings Liayn
 
Cynicism is simply a feeling of distrust.
Or it could be simply a virtue.
Selfishness is a trait of sentiency(sp?).
All three are how the human race have survived.
 
the.dark.

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: cynicism/selfishness - 5/8/2008 2:15:49 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado

It is good to be the King Bob... able to free himself from the human traits of mere mortals, just by royal decree.

Cynical...      skeptical of the motives of others: >      Skeptical...    marked by or given to doubt; questioning

Selfish...        thinking of one's own pleasure or good and not considering other people
 
Paranoid...    characterized by extreme and irrational fear or distrust of others

Greedy...      immoderately desirous of acquiring e.g. wealth
 


And this is why I love the guy...

The constant projection and claim of standards that his own actions on these boards obviously disprove.

I hope he never stops posting.

Who else can provide us with this much entertaining irony?


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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: cynicism/selfishness - 5/8/2008 3:02:47 PM   
Loveisallyouneed


Posts: 348
Joined: 2/5/2008
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

There is someone on the forum. A submissive man who has suffered greatly. Darchchylde had the same experience with the death of his family and yet who he is and his projection of himself is very positive and he doesnt dwell on his past suffering. he seems to spread joy and laughter. Yes it is a learning experience. Suffering. You can live in the past or learn that life is fleeting and learn to make the most of every minute.


Sorry, but you are still unclear about which of the lines from my profile led you to the following adjectives:

"very messed up and suffering ... not confident, or happy , or together mentally."

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: cynicism/selfishness - 5/8/2008 3:03:52 PM   
Loveisallyouneed


Posts: 348
Joined: 2/5/2008
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Idiotic idealists often see a realistic point of view as cynical.


And cynics never lack rationalizations

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 40
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