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ORIGINAL: DesertRat

What's being treated mockingly is the obscene manner in which you cheapen the memories of those you loved and lost by bandying them about in a public forum. I like to look for "opposites". For example, one portraying him or herself as suffering  grievous losses while actually attempting to use those losses as "credentials", as events that have conferred special insights and wisdom.

It's just gross. Cheap. Tacky.

Bob  

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ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

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ORIGINAL: Alumbrado

It is good to be the King Bob... able to free himself from the human traits of mere mortals, just by royal decree.

Cynical...      skeptical of the motives of others: >      Skeptical...    marked by or given to doubt; questioning

Selfish...        thinking of one's own pleasure or good and not considering other people
 
Paranoid...    characterized by extreme and irrational fear or distrust of others

Greedy...      immoderately desirous of acquiring e.g. wealth
 

And this is why I love the guy...

The constant projection and claim of standards that his own actions on these boards obviously disprove.

I hope he never stops posting.

Who else can provide us with this much entertaining irony?

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ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Uh huh.......The "Martyr complex" is an old strategy in forums like this-and garners little or no sympathy and respect. Instead, it points to a rather insulting form of emotional manipulation overall. That the reader would be beleived naive enough to fall for it is even  more insulting.
 
 Which is why the op catches so much flack. We really aren't that stupid. And will not hesistate to make that point.
  

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ORIGINAL: sirsholly

you open a thread then proceed to contradict anyone who posts.

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ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Greetings Liayn
 
Cynicism is simply a feeling of distrust.
Or it could be simply a virtue.
Selfishness is a trait of sentiency(sp?).
All three are how the human race have survived.
 
the.dark.

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ORIGINAL: Loveisallyouneed

If you have some way to reverse this trend, I'd be happy to hear it (and telling me it takes one person at a time does nothing to counter the influence of mass media that promotes both greed and paranoia).

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ORIGINAL: Loveisallyouneed

If you have some way to reverse this trend, I'd be happy to hear it (and telling me it takes one person at a time does nothing to counter the influence of mass media that promotes both greed and paranoia).

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ORIGINAL: Loveisallyouneed
If the topic is one with which you are uncomfortable, perhaps you should pass on reading my posts. I am not uncomfortable discussing them.

Indeed, the fact I am comfortable discussing them is a sign I have moved on with my life.

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ORIGINAL: Loveisallyouneed

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ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

There is someone on the forum. A submissive man who has suffered greatly. Darchchylde had the same experience with the death of his family and yet who he is and his projection of himself is very positive and he doesnt dwell on his past suffering. he seems to spread joy and laughter. Yes it is a learning experience. Suffering. You can live in the past or learn that life is fleeting and learn to make the most of every minute.

Sorry, but you are still unclear about which of the lines from my profile led you to the following adjectives:

"very messed up and suffering ... not confident, or happy , or together mentally."

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ORIGINAL: Loveisallyouneed
I disagree, Dark.
 
We are a social creature, a herd animal. Our survival as a species has depended upon trust within the group, and a recognition that the survival of the group is more important than the survival of the individual.
 
Thus trust and selflessness within the social structure are the hallmarks of our survival.
 
These qualities are a part of all primitive tribal entities, from the Amazonian tribes to the inner city street gangs.
 
Only as we transform from the extended family to the nuclear family and now to the sub-nuclear family (single parent families) do we find cynicism and selfishness to be a 'virtue'.
 
Who would remember the Alamo if everyone there had been selfish and said their own life was far more important than the independence of Texas?

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ORIGINAL: batshalom

I wouldn't dare say something as touchy-feely as it takes one person at a time. It takes masses of people at a time, and you squarely hit one key element: media. We need to wean off the glass tit and stop listening to (or reading) this for-profit hysteria.

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No, "selfish" means thinking only of one's self, and not thinking of others at all.

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ORIGINAL: stella41b

You have fallen into the trap of becoming cynical and hateful towards other people, for what you perceive to be their greed and paranoia... but these people I believe may be deluded, and yes they may be greedy, but they are HUMAN.

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Isn't it funny that politicians on both sides of the Atlantic have developed a tradition of negative campaigns and criticizing each other and people somehow feel that they have no realistic choice? Constructive criticism can be educational when something has been done, helpful, but the criticism is personal because nothing has been achieved for many years. It's a game, a charade, the people have been shut out to an increasing degree but this is because most people have wanted this. They wanted the permanence, the stability, the affluence which was sold to them many years ago, but they want all this for next to nothing. The idea seemed brilliant at the time, make as much money as possible, run your life like a business, pay as little as possible, be competitive, be independent, even if it means stabbing someone else in the back. However the problem with competitition is that there's very few winners and an awful lot of losers. I see the problem, I see it every day, people are unhappy, unless they still believe they're winning they feel cheated, their striving for profit has only brought losses and sadder but wiser they realise that true success has much more to do with quality of life than making money.

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Sure, blame the politicians, blame the big businesses, but let's not forget who had the chance to vote, who voted and who didn't. But some of the responsibility lies here among us, the people, here in society.

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The problem is many people don't really appreciate what they have until they lose it. ... They are lashing out because they are too afraid to lash out against the people in power.

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Some people haven't caught up with this new way of thinking.. They don't care. They still foolishly believe they can win. These are the people you write about in your OP. I don't hate these people, I'm not intolerant towards them, I just feel for them. People have the right to make mistakes, be stupid and to be deluded. Have you? I have. I'm human. They are too.

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... Nothing changes your life or influences it as poverty and lack of opportunities.

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There's an awful lot of people complaining and looking to others for a solution. Do you really believe this is going to come from Washington or Westminster? Or do you prefer 'the End of the World is nigh' and you are waiting for your Messiah? Go back and reread the scriptures.. this wasn't a prophecy, it was a warning. But you know people read what they want to read, they believe what they want to believe and they disregard the rest.

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But you know words are cheap and intentions are honourable, but change requires that little bit more, it requires action and it requires commitment. Dylan sang about it in the Sixties, so did John Lennon, Martin Luther King spoke about it, all the way through it's been the same message, right up through to Pope John Paul II. You can hang your Che Guevara posters on the wall, look to others for someone to start the revolution, but it isn't going to happen, not now. It's too late, the authorities are ready for it.

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That message is the same - come together, love one another, look after your family, look after your friends, look after your community, and look after your society - this isn't just life, this is the future.

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ORIGINAL: DesertRat

I'm not uncomfortable with discussion of the topic of lost loved ones. That's not what you do, though. You don't discuss or share the "insights" from the loss. You really just mention it as some kind of proof that you're deep. You're not the only one to suffer losses; it's just part of life. You are, however, the only one here who plays the BooHooDeath card. It does a disservice to the memory of your lost loved ones, in my opinion. It's cold and gross. You come off as someone who is very bitter, cynical, and...hmmm...paranoid.

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ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Its not your profile that points in that direction as much as your posts.

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ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

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ORIGINAL: Loveisallyouneed
I disagree, Dark.
 
We are a social creature, a herd animal. Our survival as a species has depended upon trust within the group, and a recognition that the survival of the group is more important than the survival of the individual.
 
Thus trust and selflessness within the social structure are the hallmarks of our survival.
 
These qualities are a part of all primitive tribal entities, from the Amazonian tribes to the inner city street gangs.
 
Only as we transform from the extended family to the nuclear family and now to the sub-nuclear family (single parent families) do we find cynicism and selfishness to be a 'virtue'.
 
Who would remember the Alamo if everyone there had been selfish and said their own life was far more important than the independence of Texas?

Hello Liayn, I trust this day finds you well.

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To your thoughts on human behaviour - and yet you have stated before that you prefere to withdraw from society?  How can that be if humans are naturally social?

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I believe that humans may rely on others, but that would not make them a herd mentality - but rather dependant on 'family'.  I see a difference.  Gangs and tribes may group together for a common goal, but when it comes down to an individual need, a human will hang onto it's selfish roots.  Even saving another would be a selfish act.  Even the independance of Texas would be a selfish act for those who desired it.

It is not selfish if they themselves will not benefit from it. They fought for the benefit of others, not themselves.

Placing one's life at risk for the sake of saving a stranger (which occurs when people get lost in wild places, or someone is found in freezing water having broken through the ice) is not selfish, for again there is that risk of not enjoying the fruits of one's labour.

Selfishness is a quality of infancy, necessary as a baby has no control over his/her environment and must demand everything he/she needs.

But one of the first lessons most children learn is to share, not to hit others, to think of the feelings of others as important.

Only as we approach adulthood is this tossed out and replaced with a reversion to infantile selfishness.

And of course, because there is a conflict between early training and later training, efforts are made to rationalize selfishness as a progressive trait, and not one that is a reversion to infancy (for who likes to be considered immature).

Thus every selfless act is reinterpreted as selfish because the individual chooses the act and attributing their decision o selflessness would defeat the effort to rationalize all acts as the result of selfishness.

Selfishness is the crowd of bystanders who watch an assault without intervening.
Selflessness is the person who intervenes.

I'd think the distinction is obvious, but to the selfish no distinction is made (unless the person who intervenes is considered stupid for doing so).

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Your cynicism of peoples humanity is a healthy one.  It is how you can survive, how anyone can.  How can trust be such an issue in BDSM environments otherwise?  How could faith even exist?

Faith is the antithesis of cynicism. Trust requires vulnerability (the possibility of having trust betrayed), whereas cynicism seeks invulnerability (the inability to be hurt by another).

I do not see this in conflict with my pov.

Humans feel the need to trust, to have faith in others. It is our way of forming social bonds. However, the cultural pressures upon us direct that we trust no one, have faith in no one. The cultural pressure is decidedly anti-human, splitting society up into interest groups (and we have ample evidence of this).

It is no wonder there is a good deal of confusion about when to trust, whom to trust, and how to trust others. Just as there is confusion about how to handle the betrayal of trust.

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On the issue of cynicism being of virtue - I was projecting the philosphical believers of ancient cynicism where life is lived in agreement with nature.  It gives the possibility of happiness in an uncertain world.  What could possibly be a more positive and constructive an idea?

I think we have to agree that the word in its modern usage bears little resemblance to what you've described. Cynics are not moving out to live with nature, so much as using cynicism as a political ploy to get what they want by casting aspersions on the competition.

We've seen plenty of evidence of this in this thread

< Message edited by Loveisallyouneed -- 5/9/2008 7:45:13 AM >

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

(in reply to RCdc)

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ORIGINAL: Loveisallyouneed

I am discovering I just don't have the tolerance I once had for the cynical and selfish.

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ORIGINAL: Aileen1968
I don't even need to see what your awaiting approval words will be to know that they will be cynical, selfish, boring and oh so common.

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ORIGINAL: DesertRat

Do I look okay? I think I might have broken my nose running into a wall.