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How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 6:06:36 PM   
submale4u2spank


Posts: 75
Joined: 11/24/2006
Status: offline 		I was just wondering if any dommes could please give me advice on how to get a domme to reply to my messages.  Most dommes I send messages to read them and don't reply, some just delete them without even reading them.  I would be very appricative if you could give me some tips.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 6:10:23 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		That would depend on two things.  What you are writing, and whether or not you are making sure they are looking for what you have to offer before you write.
Theres no gaurantee you will get answers.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to submale4u2spank)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 6:10:49 PM   
blackpearl81


Posts: 506
Joined: 8/30/2005
From: Home of the Yankees
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submale4u2spank

I was just wondering if any dommes could please give me advice on how to get a domme to reply to my messages.  Most dommes I send messages to read them and don't reply, some just delete them without even reading them.  I would be very appricative if you could give me some tips.


What do you say in your initial email? Do you have an "introductory email" in your sent folder that you might be able to c&p here for everyone to read?

_____________________________

~ Karma. Being a motherfucker since 1981 ~

Ms. Pacman was the greatest prostitute that ever lived. For 25 cents, that bitch swallowed balls 'till she died.

(in reply to submale4u2spank)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 6:15:09 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Send a picture, and not of your cock.

Ask her about something in her profile that she seems to find important.

Have something reasonably intelligent in your profile to read, if she actually manages to get that far. Talking about your views on the D/s dynamic is what a lot of them will key on.

Don't make your views read like a bad porn model-reality is kind of important.

Never ever mention your fantasies or wants. That can come later, every wanker on the planet is bombarding these poor women with that idiocy twenty times a day-be unusual.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to submale4u2spank)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 6:17:56 PM   
submale4u2spank


Posts: 75
Joined: 11/24/2006
Status: offline 		This is what I sent to SinFuLLadyV-

"Hello Mistress, welcome to collarme. i believe that i am good enought to qualify to be Your property. i'm very smart, polite, submissive, caring, funny, and good looking to boot. i don't know what Your interest are but You can check mine out just by viewing my profile. if You want a great submissive to serve and care for You, please send a reply."

Getting spanked is a lot harder than you would think if you were a vanilla person thinking about how people into BDSM live.





(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 6:21:49 PM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		Send a memorable email that does NOT sound like you copy & paste the same note to everyone.  Don't say "I love your profile" then ask for something specifically spelled out in the profile as a No-No. 

Example - I do NOT like IM's & Phone calls.  It says so in my profile.  I still get intro messages that say "I love your profile.  I think we are a great match.  Please IM me so we can get to know each other better."  DELETE!  The jackass obviously did NOT READ my profile that he claims to 'love' so much... either that or he did read it and chose to disrespect my wishes.


_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 6:21:57 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		It depends what you're sending.. for me, I would say thanks, but no thanks to you simply because of your name... I'm not interested in only one activity and your name implies that you're focussed on spanking...

that said, for me, one gets a response, even if its a no.. IF

you show you're read my profile (that's the easiest way to get a response from me)... follow what I've said there... and its clear you have some idea what you're talking about...

(in reply to submale4u2spank)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 6:23:28 PM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		Sounds nice enough to me Submale.  Now, include a nice 'vanilla' photo and you SHOULD get some responce.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to MsStarlett)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 6:24:12 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		You sound like a cut and paste email that is sent to everyone you meet.
You dont know her interests, is that becasue you didnt bother looking, or she didnt say. That line looks bad in and of itself. Saying you would like to learn more about her interests and how you could be of use would sound better. I will assume that the improper capitalization is on purpose, though you might keep in mind not all of us like that either.
Make an email personal. Make it obvious you have read their profile thoroughly. Open the ad and read the interests lists if there is one.  Use their screenname, so you know it was actualy written with someone in mind, and not cut and pasted.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to submale4u2spank)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 6:24:18 PM   
blackpearl81


Posts: 506
Joined: 8/30/2005
From: Home of the Yankees
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submale4u2spank

This is what I sent to SinFuLLadyV-

"Hello Mistress, welcome to collarme. i believe that i am good enought to qualify to be Your property. i'm very smart, polite, submissive, caring, funny, and good looking to boot. i don't know what Your interest are but You can check mine out just by viewing my profile. if You want a great submissive to serve and care for You, please send a reply."

Getting spanked is a lot harder than you would think if you were a vanilla person thinking about how people into BDSM live.







Meh.

Personally, I don't care for spelling & punctuation, but not everyone feels that way. (hint hint)

Secondly, you said that " i don't know what Your interest are" which basically screams laziness, because its almost as if you didn't read her profile (assuming she had/has one)

Thirdly, you said that " if You want a great submissive to serve and care for You, please send a reply."

No offense? But you haven't mentioned to her one thing that you could offer her as her submissive. Can you cook meals for her after a long day? Are you a good masseuse? (read above) Basically, all I'm saying is, (this might catch some flak from the audience, so be forewarned) point out things that you can do for her that'll make HER day easier.

If she still doesn't reply (btw, approaching a Dominant online is even harder, because you only get one chance to make a good first impression, whereas IRL, you may run into the same person once or twice in a public area) chalk it up to incompatibility, and move on...either that, or she's extremely busy and hasn't had a chance to read/reply your email.

Best of luck.


_____________________________

~ Karma. Being a motherfucker since 1981 ~

Ms. Pacman was the greatest prostitute that ever lived. For 25 cents, that bitch swallowed balls 'till she died.

(in reply to submale4u2spank)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 6:24:20 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

Change your name so it's not a demand and so objectifying to the women you are trying to attract.

Akasha


_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to submale4u2spank)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 6:32:10 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		Go here and read.  Apply it to your profile and all interactions from now until you achieve success.
 
http://www.collarchat.com/m_1717756/tm.htm

(in reply to submale4u2spank)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 6:37:50 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		Breaking this down as a first letter  and i know Many Female Dommes that shall nod their heads on this .DO NOT call someone who is not your Mistress  by that  name or reference . Her name or Ma'am are respectable .Make sure you spell correctly -you think your good enough to be her property ?On an intro letter ? come on  really , try getting to know her first .It is not about you !!I don't know what your interests are  but you can view mine on my profile ?? REALLY she did not  list one interest to work off of ??you can not instead ASK what her interests are ??Punctuation ,learn it , use it .Why on earth would she want to contact  you ? Your note does not  sound submissive ,your not asking about her, short , not thought out , and again it is not all about you .
Reflect , rethink , rewrite , and before you hit send  reread . Typo's happen not all are perfect  but if your sending this  stuff  well good luck .

quote:

ORIGINAL: submale4u2spank

This is what I sent to SinFuLLadyV-

"Hello Mistress, welcome to collarme. i believe that i am good enought to qualify to be Your property. i'm very smart, polite, submissive, caring, funny, and good looking to boot. i don't know what Your interest are but You can check mine out just by viewing my profile. if You want a great submissive to serve and care for You, please send a reply."

Getting spanked is a lot harder than you would think if you were a vanilla person thinking about how people into BDSM live.






(in reply to submale4u2spank)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 6:39:42 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submale4u2spank

This is what I sent to SinFuLLadyV-

"Hello Mistress, welcome to collarme. i believe that i am good enought to qualify to be Your property. i'm very smart, polite, submissive, caring, funny, and good looking to boot. i don't know what Your interest are but You can check mine out just by viewing my profile. if You want a great submissive to serve and care for You, please send a reply."


Two things that stand out here:

1) You're welcoming her to Collarme, so I assume she's new to the site.  Females are BOMBARDED with mail during their first few weeks on signing up.  I mean upwards of 50-150 a day.  If she's new to the site, you're likely to get lost in the crush.

2) You stated that you "don't know whatYour interest are", so I assume you either didn't read her profile or she'd not put anything up yet.  First thing this yells is "CONTACTING ANY FEMALE BODY" -because, if you have no idea of her interests from her profile, then there's no other reason to be contacting her... you're certainly not contacting her due to common interests or from posts or journals she's written that display something (BDSM or vanilla) you have in common.  This is a prime cause of dominant (and submissive) females ignoring one's email.

A third which is just a personal taste matter, it annoys me and starts a bad tone when a sub writes in their profile or email a list of their qualities like that and especially if they include that they're attractive/good looking.  While a healthy sense of self-esteem is something I like, frankly you have no idea whether *I'm* going to find you any of those things... and listing them off doesn't really say anything as most people -especially the most unpleasant it seems- think those things of themselves.  Being intelligent, funny, etc. will show through in the way you converse over time.  Being attractive or not will be known when that domina sees your picture or video greeting.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to submale4u2spank)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 6:39:53 PM   
submale4u2spank


Posts: 75
Joined: 11/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha



Change your name so it's not a demand and so objectifying to the women you are trying to attract.

Akasha



How do I change my name?

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 6:41:25 PM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		Az baby, do you know how badly you type?  And I still speak to you.

(Damn!  I'm WAY to easy!)


_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to azropedntied)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 6:42:58 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		delete and start over.

Try not to be such an unimaginitve stereotype this time.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to submale4u2spank)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 6:43:28 PM   
blackpearl81


Posts: 506
Joined: 8/30/2005
From: Home of the Yankees
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

Az baby, do you know how badly you type?  And I still speak to you.

(Damn!  I'm WAY to easy!)




Dayhum yahnk-eez, cayn't get nuthin raght, its how are ya, sug-ah




_____________________________

~ Karma. Being a motherfucker since 1981 ~

Ms. Pacman was the greatest prostitute that ever lived. For 25 cents, that bitch swallowed balls 'till she died.

(in reply to MsStarlett)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 6:43:44 PM   
Griswold


Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submale4u2spank

I was just wondering if any dommes could please give me advice on how to get a domme to reply to my messages.  Most dommes I send messages to read them and don't reply, some just delete them without even reading them.  I would be very appricative if you could give me some tips.


I'm not a Domme.

However, you're asking the wrong person/people.

Cash.

Checks.

Money Orders.

(in reply to submale4u2spank)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 6:52:06 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		Yes, but i am not typing with my fingers so that may impress -shrugs
And thanks for  speaking to  this unworthy one Ma'am  .

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

Az baby, do you know how badly you type?  And I still speak to you.

(Damn!  I'm WAY to easy!)


(in reply to MsStarlett)
Profile   Post #: 20
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