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RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 8:39:14 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Phin

~I~ will call my girl whatever I want. someone else calls my girl a cunt or slut or whatever? then they have to answer to me, and they wont like me much...

Daddy is the same way when it comes to someone else calling me these things.  However, it makes no difference to me, one way or the other as far as name calling or swearing.  I (at times, ashamedly) have a potty mouth that rivals some of my Marine friends at Quantico.  Daddy and I don't talk to one another like that, but He has heard me go on a rant with my ex once or twice on the phone.  He did inform me that I would never be speaking to Him like that.  LOL...  I curled up and purred at Him, "Of course not, Daddy."    I don't care about any use of the words bitch, slut, whore, cunt...  Just words to me.

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(in reply to Phin)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 8:50:42 PM   
EnferCatin


Posts: 7
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		You can tell a lot about what a Dom really thinks about you by what he calls you.  If you're his precious little slave that's one thing, but the C word is one I often hear and see in our world and interestingly enough - nowhere else.  It seems like some men think that because he is talking to, or referring to a submissive he doesn't need to show common respect towards us.  For me it's a hard limit.  I'm no ones C, it's a foul word used by wannabe Doms who for some reason think it will make them appear more dominant by using it.

 

(in reply to Smythe)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 8:52:04 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		People should use the word which work for them- people who like that and enjoy those words and contexts will be attracted, and people who don't will be alienated.  That's what the whole "choosing people you want to hang with" process is about.

I use the word chica, dude, and cunt on a fairly regular basis.  Our language is but one of many ways we project who we are to the world at large.

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(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 9:15:50 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lumus

Language is never the issue.

Translation, on the other hand...


I felt this response needed to be reiterated...to add to it however, often times the frequent use of a word tends to make it less inflammatory,kinda takes the bite out of it, until eventually it looses its edge and its humiliation or derogatory factor.I find if someone uses a derogatory word on a consistent basis, it tends to show me a lack of imagination....Tempting

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(in reply to Lumus)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 9:17:27 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Smythe


Over the past couple of days I've read several posts from men who have used what I consider harsh language when referring to women in general or women they know. i.e. "he can do whatever he wants to his own bitches" and something with the c word which I don't really like to see outside of Henry Fielding and 18th century novels.

Should women be referred to in this way? Is it OK for submissive women and not Dommes? Why don't women use similar language when referring to men (or maybe they do) ? Are standards different on a BDSM board than they would be in other places?

I felt kind of offended but I am old fashioned about language. What do others think?

Smythe




I find such usage to get tiresome and boring fairly quickly. I'm not offended, but neither am I impressed. If I am to the point where a poster bores me, I simply block them. There are too many good posters here to worry about the mediocre ones who can't think of anything better to say than cunt or gash. Selective use for impact in a particular post to get a message across is entirely different as is the use of such words when they come from the lips of Himself and are whispered harsh and hot in my ear. ::shivers:: He's very selective as to the times he'll use those words so they have a great deal of impact.

Celeste

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"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Smythe)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 9:26:54 PM   
Poetryinpain


Posts: 341
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline 		~fr~
I don't think I'd mind my Dom calling me those things in the heat of passion or as part of a scene. I do, however, take exception when someone who is not intimate with me calls me those things. I try my damnedest not to act like the kind of woman those names indicate (at least in public), so some man I hardly know would have no reason to refer to me in such terms. The same goes for hearing (or reading) men referring to women in general - or submissive women in general, or Dommes in general - in such terms.

I don't go around referring to men in general as dicks or assholes. I reserve those terms for men who are known by me to actually be such.

pip, I'm a woman or, if you prefer, a lady

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There is none so blind as he who will not see.

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 10:25:24 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		It's OK for whoever enjoys it.  Not sure I understand the question.  Sure, it's understandable that you might be offended by it, but it should be obvious that other people in the world are going to get off on things that make you uncomfortable.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smythe

Should women be referred to in this way? Is it OK for submissive women and not Dommes?

(in reply to Smythe)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 10:41:23 PM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		In the context of general speech about other people, I agree it's derogatory, inappropriate and speaks volumes about the individual. In private between consenting adults, anything goes.
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 10:51:27 PM   
HerLord


Posts: 697
Joined: 2/14/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Smythe


quote:

ORIGINAL: HerLord

Fast Reply. The what I think Is here... Below.
More with the shoulds and shouldn'ts of the rule committee.

I won't speak for any one else, but, *I* SHOULD do whatever the hell I feel like within the context of MY relationship. If it offends those I am with... well it wouldn't or they wouldn't be with me.


No, Her lord, you have mistaken my intent. I am not making rules, nor am I interested in doing so. I am simply asking what other people think. I think that is one of the points of a message board, no?

Smythe



I, am other people.

This, among other repetitive concepts on these boards, commonly digress into the banter of shoulds and shouldn't by the ramblings of some for of acronym or another.

Irrespective of above statement, "our collective" thoughts were requested, and being, a part of commonalities of interest, and I responded with mine.

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"People as a whole think they want to hear the truth, until they hear it." -Stormism

(in reply to Smythe)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 11:27:15 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		It doesn't bother me.  Some men consider their females their bitches and cunts, some consider them their "most prized possession."  There will be people who enjoy or dislike one term over the other.  "Most prized possession" doesn't do anything for me, for that matter.   It's all a matter of preference.  When my Master and I owned a male submissive, we referred to him as our "mutt."  He loved it, and it was appropriate for him.

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Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to Smythe)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 11:41:20 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

I wasn't offended at all.

Curiously, are you a female or are you a male that feels the need to protect and honor defenseless women? ( meant in a non-offensive way, of course )

You cheeky old bastard
.....meant in a non-offensive way of course
Prin (not prim gottit?)


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Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
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(in reply to OldBastardly1)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 11:44:34 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EnferCatin

You can tell a lot about what a Dom really thinks about you by what he calls you. 



Are you sure?


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Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to EnferCatin)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 11:56:59 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lumus

Language is never the issue.

Translation, on the other hand...



Profoundly true
I get deliriously lost in translation


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Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to Lumus)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 11:58:42 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		I love these words and the debate
Change my pitch up, smack my bitch up
Change my pitch up, smack my bitch up
Change my pitch up, smack my bitch up
Change my pitch up, smack my bitch up
Change my pitch up, smack my bitch up
Change my pitch up, smack my bitch up

but then I also like speaking in tongues


< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 5/4/2008 11:59:34 PM >

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Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: language and respect - 5/5/2008 2:49:16 AM   
Evility


Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Smythe
and something with the c word which I don't really like to see outside of Henry Fielding and 18th century novels.


Why is this ok for Henry and not for anyone else? This should tell you something. It's not the term - it's the context. You yourself find a certain term ok in a certain context but do not approve of the same term in different contexts. Most other people share that opinion.

(in reply to Smythe)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: language and respect - 5/5/2008 3:05:25 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG
Depends on who's using the names.

If my ex calls me a bitch, I thank him and show him the door.

Some random man calls me a cunt, he ceases to exist in my world.

m'Lord calls me what ever he wishes and it's HOTT!


Exactly, context is everything.

I have taken the time to learn My property, I know what termonology would be harmful to her... and I don't harm what is Mine so avoid those terms, I know what terms and concepts push various buttons in her... I will take those reactions as I see fit. There are ways I speak to her that if someone else tried it I would rip them a new fundamental orafice for doing so!


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This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: language and respect - 5/5/2008 3:53:37 AM   
StormsSlave


Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline 		Eh, I've been called worse by better.



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--nobody's resident anything.

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: language and respect - 5/5/2008 3:54:19 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If the women they are involved with don't object to being spoken of in that manner, then fine. However it's as rude to address another by those comments as it is to call the cashier at the grocery store that.

Personally I think it's good when men who feel that way speak like that, allows everyone to put them on their 'never ever meet' list faster.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to mbes)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: language and respect - 5/5/2008 4:14:48 AM   
LilMissHaven


Posts: 734
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline 		I'm in the "whatever floats your boat" group.

I personally don't understand the theories and practices behind humiliation and name calling but then it was just something that was never discussed during my past relationship.   And since I have no understanding of these practices I choose to ignore any post or emial where women or men are referenced in a derogatory manner mainly because there is enough tangible drama in everyone's life to let an internet posting get to them.

But then thats just me.

< Message edited by LilMissHaven -- 5/5/2008 4:15:31 AM >

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I must first learn to master myself, before I can truly be owned by one.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: language and respect - 5/5/2008 4:34:17 AM   
MladyHathor


Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		I don't like and don't use derogatory terms, they just don't roll off My tongue and I cannot get past the hurt if someone uses them to Me---for Me its like another element of this WIITWD--not something I participate in--and anyone who calls Me a derogatory name better have dental insurance.

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The Mistress Hathor, always and forever, much to the disdain and discomfort of others.

(in reply to Smythe)
Profile   Post #: 40
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