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RE: language and respect - 5/5/2008 4:50:07 AM   
Smythe


Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
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Thanks for all the replies. To me, there is a difference between public and private usage, and this is what I was responding to. Lots of the replies were in line with this. What people say to each other, in privacy or when they know each other is a whole different bouquet of flowers. It's the public, indiscriminate use of words to apply to a group (i.e. women in this case) that I have a problem with.

Anyway, I still have this outstanding question which is why you don't see women calling men derogatory names nearly as much. Except for the Old Bastard guy who brought it on himself

Smythe


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RE: language and respect - 5/5/2008 5:14:38 AM   
Real_Trouble


Posts: 471
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline 		To me, you have to consider the context of the communication as well.

For some, if they throw around that kind of language, I find it quite surprising.  I know others for whom it is probably the tenth or twentieth time they've used it in that sentence, much less day, so I'm not going to bat an eyelash when they do.

Many different individuals have different verbal styles, and without knowing what the typical interaction with the person is like and at least some idea of their motivation behind it, I have no idea.

For my part, I've been able to use the word fuck as virtually every possible part of speech within a one-minute span at one point in my life, so I'm not about to come down on someone for a little harsh language.

< Message edited by Real_Trouble -- 5/5/2008 5:15:30 AM >

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RE: language and respect - 5/5/2008 5:21:46 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Smythe

Anyway, I still have this outstanding question which is why you don't see women calling men derogatory names nearly as much. Except for the Old Bastard guy who brought it on himself


I have an idea that this is simply becsue there are far fewer words used in regular conversation that refer to men in a derogatory way.
Bitch, slut, whore and others that refer to women are in our everyday language and used pretty liberally.
Aside from bastard... how many derogatory words do you hear regularly for men? Not much harsher than "boy" honestly.
There are a ton of insults that are ungendered, and quitea few that point to races derogatorily but few pointing to men specifically.
Just my theory

And as to the original topic, I beieve it is the intent rather than the language that bothers me. If I have asked someone not to refer to my boys a certain way and the continue to do so, it bothers me. That doesnt have to be insulting , but it can be condescending.  If someone speaks on here the way they do in real life, Id be shocked to hear them address new people sometimes. But it would also not offend me to have them talk about me or mine, since thats just how they are. I dont find insult when it isnt personal. However, if you are speaking about me or mine, knowing I dislike it and are doing so where you know I will see/hear... thats personal and meant to be insulting.

DV


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RE: language and respect - 5/5/2008 5:23:19 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Most of the time, I don't care what words anyone else uses. Words are just that......words. If typed on a screen by a stranger they mean even less. I refuse to allow pixels on a screen to have any affect on  my emotional or mental state.

If they are spoken by someone in my personal life.....then I am going to wonder what I have done to create an environment that would allow them to assume I would tollerate being spoken to like that. If someone uses those words towards someone I love with spiteful intent, they will probably come to find out some of the really spiffy words I know also!



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RE: language and respect - 5/5/2008 5:30:00 AM   
MissLily


Posts: 146
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline 		In the heat of the moment, I'll call My boys, bitches, whores, naughty things like that, but in day to day life, I wouldn't. Just find it rude.

If some like it though and if the woman tolerates it, then amen!

Miss Lily

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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: language and respect - 5/5/2008 5:48:30 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		FR

I also think that we have the power to give the words their derogetory meaning.  I find that someone who refers to "cunt" as "the C word" is giving it far more power then the person who just uses it.  Words are simply letters strung together in a particular order and they can evoke no more emotion then we allow them to.

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: language and respect - 5/5/2008 8:02:07 AM   
OnlyMels


Posts: 115
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline 		I'd like people that don't know me to speak to me with respect but Daddy can say what he wants. Except for the word c*nt even though he uses it to mess with me I really hate that word.

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RE: language and respect - 5/5/2008 8:08:55 AM   
OldBastardly1


Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline 		Please pardon me, but are we all freaking 12 years old? We can talk about a word but we cant say or even type the word? Doesn't saying  the "c word", " b word" " p word" "n word', etc, that same as saying the actual word, especially if it is being used in a discussion and not actual name calling?
I really don't think that as a whole we are truly that sensitive and brittle.



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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: language and respect - 5/5/2008 8:31:20 AM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
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Status: offline 		Let's not forget dickhole.

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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: language and respect - 5/5/2008 8:40:48 AM   
parttimehotty


Posts: 4002
Joined: 11/19/2007
From: Virginville
Status: offline 		The Dom who introduced me to this fantastic world of BDSM called me every derogatory name in the book PLUS some I've never even heard of! But this was talked about beforehand and i told him that i had no problem w/verbal humiliation. Talk about letting down the gates! He took that and ran w/it!
Now w/my new Master, i've used the same terms about myself used by the 1st Dom and Master does NOT like those terms. He'll use one on occasion because He knows I like it, but He always says it leaves a bad taste in His mouth...........which I then thoroughly clean w/my tongue, then W/we proceed to.........<shaking head> Sorry, I left for a moment but I'm back on track now. I feel that as long as it's discussed beforehand and the sub/slave doesn't mind then by all means, proceed...but w/caution. Words can hurt alot more than beatings.  Bruises heal, memories are forever.

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RE: language and respect - 5/5/2008 9:07:44 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Old B. I agree with you. I use the words only when scening when a woman ask me to. The only ather time I may use them is when watching a Tiger game when a dumbass batter lets a third strike go by him down the middle of the plate without swinging at it.

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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: language and respect - 5/5/2008 9:25:07 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

The only ather time I may use them is when watching a Tiger game when a dumbass batter lets a third strike go by him down the middle of the plate without swinging at it.


MAY use them?

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Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: language and respect - 5/5/2008 9:42:20 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Well put it this way Omega you do not want to be with me when Im watching a football or baseball game. If you are I will supply you with earplugs.

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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: language and respect - 5/5/2008 9:47:34 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		heh

my kids threaten to leave the house when I'm watching football.  I don't think I'd find your behaviour surprising in the least.

And yes, I do believe that the Wolverines can hear me through the TV-- or across town.

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Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: language and respect - 5/5/2008 10:04:26 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Smythe



Anyway, I still have this outstanding question which is why you don't see women calling men derogatory names nearly as much.

Smythe


With all due respect I do not think that you have an outstanding question: just a gender bias.



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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: language and respect - 5/5/2008 10:07:22 AM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

FR

I also think that we have the power to give the words their derogetory meaning.  I find that someone who refers to "cunt" as "the C word" is giving it far more power then the person who just uses it.  Words are simply letters strung together in a particular order and they can evoke no more emotion then we allow them to.

Thank you....  I completely agree.

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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: language and respect - 5/5/2008 10:08:14 AM   
Arrrchibald


Posts: 350
Joined: 1/3/2008
Status: offline 		You said a bad wooorrrrrd!  I'm telliiiinnng!!



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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: language and respect - 5/5/2008 10:08:21 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

Please pardon me, but are we all freaking 12 years old? We can talk about a word but we cant say or even type the word? Doesn't saying  the "c word", " b word" " p word" "n word', etc, that same as saying the actual word, especially if it is being used in a discussion and not actual name calling?
I really don't think that as a whole we are truly that sensitive and brittle.



Exactly, and a 7*()ing c&*tish way of putting it if you don't mind my saying so....
c*&ting gerunds!


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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: language and respect - 5/5/2008 11:00:01 AM   
Deliena


Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline 		Well I have never really liked the word cunt - but I love being called a slut and a whore, particularly when my Master calls me His slut or His whore.  It's another form of possession and has a tendency to drive me right over the edge.  He knows how to use my sexuality for both his and my pleasure and verbal humiliation or name calling is simply a part of what we do.  If it works for you do it, if it doesn't don't.  Not rocket science.

For the "words have power" crowd, well that's true, provided we allow them to.  The power words have is in the mind of the receiver as well as the sender and some words have been positively reclaimed or reassigned when it has been deemed appropriate by groups to do so.  (There's a whole branch of sociology devoted to this and psychological studies on discourse analysis usually agree that terms are defined by context and usage rather than dictionaries).

My tuppence worth (for what it's worth)

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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: language and respect - 5/5/2008 11:16:11 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Deliena. Sorry to say but a tuppence is worthless here. Just like our dollar is there. Whatever you were saying in the second paragraph I agree with.  

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Profile   Post #: 60
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