MissIsis
Posts: 473
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline
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I really don't like the terms wannabe & fake. It implies accusations, which may or may not be true. Many people who are labeled wannabees, just maybe don't wannabe with the person who is calling them such.
For real time meetings, it is probably a much better bet to attend munches, bdsm get-togethers & real time events. There are a number of bdsm relationships that started out vanilla & moved to more once both parties got to know & trust one another. I know there is no easy way to tell someone you want to tie them up before you ask them out. But part of domination can sometimes be the gentle seduction of bringing out of the other party, that which they already want. There are many people that know their desires at a very young age, but there are many others who don't know what they want until someone gently brings it out of them.
Some of my first bdsm encounters had to do with the party I was with, taking the initiative to introduce some bondage into the equation. For instance, while you are in the midst of foreplay, if you grab her gently & firmly by the wrist, & hold them above her head, does she get angry & try to get away? What does her body language tell you? Or does she squirm more, moan for more? Does she yield to what you are doing?
Of course, the above is something that may take some time. Or you can always just say when you are in the middle of dating someone that you enjoy tying up women, which may or may not work.
My point is, that no matter what approach you take, finding that special someone is going to take time & energy. There may be many that you get to know, even in real life, or vanilla situations that just don't fit well with you, whatever the reason. Even when you meet them in real time, you may find they disappear, or start not answering their phone when you call. Some people just don't know how to be direct enough to tell you, they don't feel you are a good fit for them. They may not be comfortable with such a direct approach. Possibly, they have tried it in their past & found the person they were direct with, couldn't deal with, hence taught them to be less than honest about what they were feeling with regards to the other.
I have also known people who pretended online because they figured everyone else did. They feel it is a great way to safely explore something they want, but aren't sure about. So they hide online. It sucks that people are less than honest about who they are, but really, that applies to real life as well. How many women have gone out & met someone they were very attracted to, & become involved with, only to discover many months or even years later, that the object of their affection was married, or that he wasn't a high end financial advisor, but a used car salesman, or worse, that he had been out of work for months, spending time playing online at home, rather than looking for a job. I am only using the examples of men, but I am well aware these examples apply to both sexes. Or how about the Dominant with years of experience, that only has fleeting experience with online play. Or the submissive who swears she wants to be a slave, but really just wants to bottom. Or look at the married couples, that even with marriage, each finds out they wanted something else in their partner, or the relationship fails & they end up apart. There are never any guarantees, especially, and thankfully, since most of us have our own free will.
You may never know until you begin to get to know the person, real life, real time, & invest such in the relationsip. Hopefully, & that is the best we can hope for, is that in time, we will come face to face & become involved with someone who will match what we seek.
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Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and wanna... - 
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