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A recurring theme...instant submission expected - 5/5/2008 8:12:51 PM

mistoferin

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I can't even begin to count the number of posts I have seen on these boards alone from an "s" type complaining that all of the "D" types who contact them expect instant submission or instant service or instant sex. They want to know if this is normal....they want to know why. What generally happens is that everyone here jumps on board to tell them to ignore men like that or tell them what an asshole the guy in question is. While I certainly don't disagree that they are indeed assholes, I also believe that there is more that leads up to those kind of contacts in at least some of the situations.

First, there are sooooooo many of them who try that approach (like the guy who sent me an e mail today...from Texas...."crawl to me"). I have to believe that they are getting this from somewhere. Somewhere out there it must be written that this is a tactic that works, it is just too coincidental that such a large number of men would use the exact same approach.

Secondly, the approach must actually work at least some of the time. Heck, I know it does....just read the posts from some of these submissives here who jump right in blind, head first, fully bound who post here crying after the fact. "I did it because he told me to and he is a DOM". Yup, I think that there are tons of women out there who just want to kneel at the feet of someone...anyone...and they flop themselves down in front of anyone who requests or demands them to.

So before we jump all over the guys and lay the full weight of responsibility at their feet, I think we also need to say thanks to some of our own kind for liberally fueling the fire of these guys.

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 5/5/2008 8:13:34 PM >

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Post #: 1

RE: A recurring theme...instant submission expected - 5/5/2008 8:15:11 PM

Leatherist

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Blame it on sub frenzy.

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RE: A recurring theme...instant submission expected - 5/5/2008 8:16:55 PM

mistoferin

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Joined: 10/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Blame it on sub frenzy.

While I'm sure it can be attributed to it to some degree....I can't personally lay the blame there because I don't think that frenzy absolves one of responsibility.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 3

RE: A recurring theme...instant submission expected - 5/5/2008 8:18:09 PM

Leatherist

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And idiocy.

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RE: A recurring theme...instant submission expected - 5/5/2008 8:20:30 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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Oh I always have.

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Post #: 5

RE: A recurring theme...instant submission expected - 5/5/2008 8:20:53 PM

Level

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

(like the guy who sent me an e mail today...from Texas...."crawl to me").

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Skinned up knees and salty lips
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Post #: 6

RE: A recurring theme...instant submission expected - 5/5/2008 8:22:17 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
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Cute thread erin.
Don't forget about instant Domination "expected" also.

I recently was emailing back and forth with a "submissive" that I knew from chat years ago.
This man is in his late 50's and a professional.
He told me that he wanted to be "owned" after a few emails, he basically knew
nothing about me and I know very little about him.
He was in too much of a hurry to get to know me, lol.
I could have been a crazed lunatic looking to castrate him.

I told him good luck in finding someone to "own" him after a few conversations.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 5/5/2008 9:07:07 PM >

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Post #: 7

RE: A recurring theme...instant submission expected - 5/5/2008 8:25:50 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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First of all, I am dead sexy and if you don't get wet on our first date and aren’t having multiple orgasms by our second date, I failed my job. Sex is a tool. But that rare exception aside, being as humble as I am, I would say:

I think it comes down to “educated preference.” All D types are assholes to a degree. It comes with the job. The question is if they can sell it and make their chauvinism palatable. I am a chauvinist to a degree. I am a chauvinist by educated choice, not out of ignorance. I truly am a macho type, alpha dude. It is the role that best suites me. I never approach with the “bow down” attitude and I am not self deluded in thinking I am “better” than female slaves. I think I am different and that is where my chauvinistic view of inequality comes in. I have my male roles and females have theirs. .. it is my educated preference.

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RE: A recurring theme...instant submission expected - 5/5/2008 8:43:13 PM

MadRabbit

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Joined: 8/9/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I think it comes down to “educated preference.” All D types are assholes to a degree. It comes with the job. The question is if they can sell it and make their chauvinism palatable. I am a chauvinist to a degree. I am a chauvinist by educated choice, not out of ignorance. I truly am a macho type, alpha dude. It is the role that best suites me. I never approach with the “bow down” attitude and I am not self deluded in thinking I am “better” than female slaves. I think I am different and that is where my chauvinistic view of inequality comes in. I have my male roles and females have theirs. .. it is my educated preference.

I agree with this.

I don't think I am superior than the other end and I approach in a very equal and polite way...

...But I do think I am more important and it tends to come out subtlely. Most submissives love that, some hate it.

These "dominant qualities" aren't something natural or an ignorant male supremacy view, but something I learned and chose to express.

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Post #: 9

RE: A recurring theme...instant submission expected - 5/5/2008 8:51:11 PM

Real_Trouble

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Joined: 2/25/2008
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People are stupid; there are many people who behave in highly dysfunctional ways, and this sort of warps the social space that we all live in. There's all kinds of incessant bullshit we have to put up with on a daily basis.

I doubt most see it, though. I suspect a disappointingly large number of people will go for the exact approach the OP laid out.

To another comment...

quote:

All D types are assholes to a degree. It comes with the job.

I concur. Part of being in charge is making the hard decisions other people don't want to make. I think a certain mentality (or more so, one from within a set) is bound to develop in anyone who does it well.

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Post #: 10

RE: A recurring theme...instant submission expected - 5/5/2008 9:40:29 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
I can't even begin to count the number of posts I have seen on these boards alone from an "s" type complaining that all of the "D" types who contact them expect instant submission or instant service or instant sex. ... First, there are sooooooo many of them who try that approach (like the guy who sent me an e mail today...from Texas...."crawl to me"). ... I think that there are tons of women out there who just want to kneel at the feet of someone...anyone...and they flop themselves down in front of anyone who requests or demands them to.

You are correct. The flip side is the subs that say “I’m half a slave, make me whole” and “of all the men I have known, you are the one that evokes my submission.” I’m not just talking online letters here, I am talking in real life and online. From Dommes that flip their switches because they really were submissives but had strong personalities so they went Domme until a stronger personality comes to meek that just fall for the strongest in the room.

They will pay their own air fairs, they try to bait you with anything they perceive you want and... they will become what ever you dream up. Like the woman hopping on one foot and barking for Eddie Murphy in Coming to America. The thing for me is, I know she can only hop and bark for so long before she loses the rapture (‘sub frenzy’ you guys call it) and leaves.

So, I imagine, some guys like it. Hell, there is a never ending string of sub replacements that are all new, have rapture and probably good to milk a relationship out of for several months or even a year or two. A passel of poly Stepford slaves at our call.

It’s not for me, but that is what you girls are up against. Men are men… I too am guilty of hunting that which I didn’t plan to eat (keep) for trophies until I learned how to recognize quality. I think that attitude comes as standard issue with a cock.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
I think it comes down to “educated preference.” All D types are assholes to a degree. It comes with the job. The question is if they can sell it and make their chauvinism palatable. I am a chauvinist to a degree. I am a chauvinist by educated choice, not out of ignorance. I truly am a macho type, alpha dude. It is the role that best suites me. I never approach with the “bow down” attitude and I am not self deluded in thinking I am “better” than female slaves. I think I am different and that is where my chauvinistic view of inequality comes in. I have my male roles and females have theirs. .. it is my educated preference.

I agree with this.
...But I do think I am more important and it tends to come out subtlely.

-=A random series of Zen like statements=-
(new posting technique for me, verbal collage)
The leader's job is very important... unless there are no followers.
Followers are rather ineffective without a leader.

The leader's job isn't a better job.
The leader's job isn't done by a better person.
... The leaders job is done (with the exception of Bush), or should be done by the best leader.

The emperor that became the palace gardener and etc...

< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 5/5/2008 10:16:21 PM >

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I give good thread.

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Post #: 11

RE: A recurring theme...instant submission expected - 5/5/2008 10:29:14 PM

Floggings4You

Posts: 240
Joined: 12/18/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Secondly, the approach must actually work at least some of the time.

I remain unconvinced.

I've heard the same claim regarding SPAM emails. SPAM advertising must work--someone must be responding--or no one would keep spending the money to send all those SPAM emails.

Not necessarily. If the people paying to send all that SPAM agree with you, that it must work at least some of the time, then they'll keep spending the money, based on nothing more than the belief that at least some of the millions of emails sent out, will yield results.

Maybe sending out dozens of "On your knees, bitch!" emails doesn't really work, but a certain type of guy continues to believe that it does...

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 12

RE: A recurring theme...instant submission expected - 5/5/2008 10:39:37 PM

SimplyMichael

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Joined: 1/7/2007
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"on your knees bitch" does work absolutely. In fact, all sorts of stupid shit works.

Just look at how many 18 year old hotties want "extreme domination" and have only one picture and almost no profile. They are guys using their sisters pictures.

People fall for the dumbest shit, I mean Bush sold us on a war to invade the wrong country and then tell us it would be cheap and easy, how fucking dumb is that?

When I first started into BDSM chatrooms were fairly new and I used to get women all the time with nothing more than "on your knees bitch"

On some level, that is still my approach.

(in reply to Floggings4You)

Post #: 13

RE: A recurring theme...instant submission expected - 5/5/2008 10:47:30 PM

Marc2b

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Joined: 8/7/2006
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quote:

First, there are sooooooo many of them who try that approach (like the guy who sent me an e mail today...from Texas...."crawl to me"). I have to believe that they are getting this from somewhere. Somewhere out there it must be written that this is a tactic that works, it is just too coincidental that such a large number of men would use the exact same approach.

My theory – most of these "kneel bitch" types are insecure and believe that they must be immediately strict and demanding otherwise the sub will think them weak.

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RE: A recurring theme...instant submission expected - 5/5/2008 10:59:47 PM

Arrrchibald

Posts: 350
Joined: 1/3/2008
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You bet it works. I don't use it myself, but plenty of guys tell me it works better than anything else.

I hardly ever bring up BDSM in an initial email. And I've received plenty of replies calling me a fake dom for not talking about the lifestyle right off the bat.

The reigning champion so far: "yeah wutever, u think ur dom but ur fag."

I'd say "kneel bitch" seems pretty appropriate for those subs.

< Message edited by Arrrchibald -- 5/5/2008 11:00:16 PM >

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Post #: 15

RE: A recurring theme...instant submission expected - 5/6/2008 12:14:37 AM

hopelessfool

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Joined: 7/29/2005
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I never get on your knees bitch emails. I think the threat of sarcasim scares them all all away. I do however get a massive amounts of do you think my cock is pretty pictures from male slaves... -shudders-

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RE: A recurring theme...instant submission expected - 5/6/2008 1:16:44 AM

joannaloveslave

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Joined: 5/2/2008
From: manila
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when i was new to chatrooms i treated all comers like i wanted to please all of them... then it got to the point where it seemed way too repetitive...

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RE: A recurring theme...instant submission expected - 5/6/2008 2:00:43 AM

RavenMuse

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you do have a point sweetie, the problem doesn't just lay on the 'supposed' D side (Supposed because I don't see those who simply don't 'get' that before someone has submitted TO THEM then they don't have consent and aren't in a position to make demands, as Dominant in the slightest ("If you wish to discuss things with Me I expect X" is fine, that is setting out a choise not making demands... "YOU will do X or you are not a submissive" is not OK and is fantasy bullshit)

There are also quite a number of 'supposed' s types who are not 'submissive' but rather too carried away with fantasy and if someone isn't doing the 'kneel bitch brigade' crap then they react badly/impolitely.

An actual Dominant will recognise the fantasy bullshit, write it off as the ignorance of the person they contacted, be thankful to have spotted a fantasist at an early stage and not waste any more time on them..... BUT... just maybe, those newer to things, not as self-aware, not as self confident maybe taken in by such reactions and drawn into the whole kneel bitch brigade fantasy.

It can work the other way too though... with a new, unconfident girl getting swamped by KBB crud and thinking that is the way it is done, accepting that, reacting badly to anything other than that....

In other words, there are probably a proportion of the problem, on both sides that aren't inherently ass-holes, just new and ignorant of the full facts, drawn into a nasty self-perpetuating cycle of fantasy bullshit.

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(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 18

RE: A recurring theme...instant submission expected - 5/6/2008 2:59:16 AM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
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From: new york state
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quote:

So before we jump all over the guys and lay the full weight of responsibility at their feet, I think we also need to say thanks to some of our own kind for liberally fueling the fire of these guys.

Or, we can just use the block, delete, ignore and occupy our time with more interesting pursuits.

I don't jump all over the guys as a group as I don't think the idea of "collective responsibility" applies in this case. I do think we are collectively responsible for environmental devastation, the war in the gulf, the sad state of civil society, and the spiritual ravages of mass consumption among other things.

But, if some guy wants to get on-line and shoot off an email containing the words "on your knees bitch" and if another guy, or some gal or a tranny wants to follow his command, I say let them both follow their bliss. There's worse things they could be doing. Seriously.

< Message edited by gypsygrl -- 5/6/2008 3:01:40 AM >

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RE: A recurring theme...instant submission expected - 5/6/2008 3:34:03 AM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
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quote:

On some level, that is still my approach.

Thank you. A little bit of honesty goes a long way.

Is it any better to sugar coat one's ultimate intentions? If "instant submission" to the command of "on your knees bitch" is what a d-type wants over the long haul, isn't there a valid argument for starting off that way from the get go? At least then everybody is playing an open hand.

I know from experience some d-types will say whatever the s-type wants to hear until the bond is formed, then change the game once its hard to leave. Its a bait and switch. I don't know what makes a d-type think this technique is any more effective than simply starting out saying "on your knees bitch". For me at least, there's a reason I don't present myself as a sex slave (not sure what else to call it), and thats because I would really suck at it for deep reasons and it would take a whole lot of work to get me there. (I'm not saying I wouldn't try; it just would involve something along the lines of a sysaphisian project.) Things get really stupid when the relationship evolves to the point of having some substance and I find out that what the d really wanted is for me to instantly obey any command, including "on your knees bitch" and its varients and this without any training from the d. Of course the d ends up dissapointed. But, all I can say is, "Huh? Then why the hell did he take me on?"

< Message edited by gypsygrl -- 5/6/2008 3:37:08 AM >

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