RE: Was i out of line?

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RE: Was i out of line? - 5/10/2008 7:35:07 AM

manwholuvs

Posts: 30
Joined: 1/1/2008
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I agree with candisa as far as safety is concerned. Trust has to be earned and yet one should not place themself into a situation in which they could be in danger. I would always meet someone first in public and let things develop from there

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RE: Was i out of line? - 5/10/2008 8:12:04 AM

Dmon

Posts: 82
Joined: 12/27/2007
Status: offline

Screw him, blue. A real Dom, or anyone in the scene, knows that a certain amount of protection is needed when you first meet some one. If he knew what he was doing, he would have set up a nice little meet, some where public. Esspecially knowing you've never met him face to face, he should want to make you at ease that your with some one who is safe and sane.
This guy doesn't sound safe or sane. Find a Dom that will let you come to him. One that doesn't push you until you feel confident you can submit to him. One that doesn't try to get intimate with you until you feel comfortable with getting intimate. Anyone, who knows anything about online meeting boards knows theres a risk involved. If the guy your talking to, doesn't want to show you he's safe, then he probably isn't safe.

So again.. Screw him. Move on. Find some one who's safe.

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RE: Was i out of line? - 5/10/2008 2:27:45 PM

mstrj69

Posts: 295
Joined: 5/27/2004
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I definitely prefer the first meeting in public. The second, she can come to my house. If he had a wife whom he wanted you to have a relationship with, why not have you to his house to meet his wife and him? Too many problems there that make me say stay away from him. So yes I think what you did was right.

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RE: Was i out of line? - 5/10/2008 2:54:07 PM

EagerToPleaseYou

Posts: 17
Joined: 11/24/2007
Status: offline

Hi! I had a Dom that I was exchanging emails with for a while. He wouldn't answer any personal questions and talked only about the lifestyle. It made me uncomfortable and suspicious. Each email he emphasized that he really needed to meet me because he hated to type. Well, I agreed to meet him one night at a coffee shop. About an hour before I was supposed to go, I was getting really bad vibes, so I emailed and asked for a raincheck. The next time I was supposed to meet him, I stood him up. His lack of personal info, no phone number - nothing- made me too nervous. Even though it would have been a public place I thought it better to listen to my gut. I don't regret it at all! About two weeks later, a man that I'd been casually dating, and met on a vanilla site!, confessed that he was a Dom. I now have my training collar and couldn't be happier.

So, my point is:

Follow your instincts - they are a better guide than your mind or heart sometimes
If finding a Dom doesn't happen now its because there is someone better waiting in the wings
Be patient! - take the time to find someone who is right for you and who sees you as right for them
Get to know them, observe how they conduct their vanilla life, I think that tells a lot

Just my unbiased, rotten, opinion, of course.

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Post #: 44

RE: Was i out of line? - 5/11/2008 1:58:00 PM

BikerDomRealTime

Posts: 86
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lonelyblueboi

I recently began communicating with a Dom who initiated contact through collarme. After chatting for awhile he stated that he wanted to come to my place to train me. I said I was uncomfortable inviting people to my home and he proceeded to tell me to call him when i wasn't so uptight? Was i out of line to not invite him to my place when we'd just started talking? I think i did what was right to protect my own safety, but he made it seem like my reluctance to entertain a total stranger meant i wasn't ready to explore BDSM in real time. The opinions of any Doms/Dommes would be appreciated!

IMHO you were not out of line. you have to feel safe and comfortable in any situation that you are in. If the Dom could not understand and respect that, then you are better off without him.

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RE: Was i out of line? - 5/18/2008 2:06:45 AM

niicole

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/10/2008
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I had a very bad experience with this, I don't think you were out of line at all. It ended with pressing charges and all sorts of thing, you were in the right not letting him come over, you never know who he is and for the first time meeting someone i would suggest a public place and alot of conversation and getting to know him.

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Post #: 46