RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"?

RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (Full Version)

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RedMagic1 -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/6/2008 5:08:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1 I have seen many people that are severely afflicted by a condition called TME.....Too Much Education. Sadly, education does NOT indicate an equal amount of intelligence. Many have probably seen the "Jaywalking" segments on the Tonight Show, where Jay Leno goes to college campuses, asks college students simple questions, and they are clueless. There was a study done a few years ago, where pollsters went from campus to campus, asking simple, "fifth-grade"-type questions. At state universities, most of the students got the answers wrong, often saying they had no idea. At Ivy League schools, however, the students answered the pollsters clearly and distinctly, explaining exactly what the answer was and why. But -- they got the answer wrong just as often as the state school students. Only the marketing was different.

petitespitfire64 -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/6/2008 5:10:13 PM)
To submit...I must have a HIGH level of respect for a man. This respect stems from many qualities he shows..integrity, honesty, kindness, self esteem, etc. Intelligence is one of the things I look for most. He doesn't have to be smarter than me at EVERYTHING... but he'd have to be able to hold his own. I had one of those mechanical geniuses who could barely read and who I had to explain words to. Got rid of THAT one.

lronitulstahp -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/6/2008 5:20:23 PM)
Hmmm..are we talking a very smart, worldly sub, and a slightly illiterate D-type? Probably not.... But for people with a bit less of a difference between the levels of intelligence, it should be workable. In order for it to work, the D-type would have to be self-assured, strong, and comfortable with themselves and their abilities as a Dominant figure...oops, i just described what i would expect in a Dom regardless of how smart i find them.

DesFIP -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/6/2008 5:26:34 PM)
I'm smarter in some areas, dumber in others. I've had more travel in Europe, he's traveled more in Asia. I'm more worldly than almost anyone I know, comes with the background I have. None of which matters to me. I'm not looking for someone who looks down at me all the time, always telling me how stupid I am in comparison. I've got enough self esteem issues that being nothing in comparison to his high-and-mightiness is not what is good for me. What mattered to me is his moral and ethical compass. And that he isn't insecure in the areas he is inexperienced in. But that he's willing to learn, even from me. As I am willing to learn from him.

SoulPiercer -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/6/2008 5:27:37 PM)
"I am generally smarter then most of the men I meet." I never attended a day of college. If you spoke to me, you would never know it, unless I told you. I work with people who have 4-12 years college, earn $20k to $40k more THAN I do, yet they do not KNOW the difference between your, you're and yore, no and know, there, their or they're and of course then and than .. as illustrated above. I think the relationship can work fine, as long as the s-type doesn't decide that because they have a higher education, it somehow makes them better THAN the d-type. After all, as a d-type myself, it certainly never occurred to me that I am better than s-types simply because I hold the whip.

lronitulstahp -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/6/2008 5:30:16 PM)
quote: I think the relationship can work fine, as long as the s-type doesn't decide that because they have a higher education, it somehow makes them better THAN the d-type. After all, as a d-type myself, it certainly never occurred to me that I am better than s-types simply because I hold the whip. That's a really good way of looking at it...i feel smarter after reading that[;)]

FlamingRedhead -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/6/2008 5:33:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: atljerbear35 What if you are smarter, more worldly, or just far better educated than your Dom/me or One that you are considering applying to? Can such a relationship work, or even be worth exploring? Can TPE even be a legitimate option if such is the case? I have a vocational college education and have yet to travel the world. I like to think I have above-average intelligence, though. At least, that's what the last IQ test I took said...ppfftt Soooo....to answer your question....NO....not for me, anyway. If I can constantly outsmart him, I will quickly lose respect for him. He can't be my dominant if I'm pulling the strings.

AquaticSub -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/6/2008 5:36:40 PM)
Grammar is education and the desire to remember it, not intelligence. Ability to remember things also has little to do with intelligence. I personally favor the idea that the real point of education is not knowing everything, but knowing how to find it and use it effectively. I can't tell you the rules for any citation or paper formating at this moment, but I can tell you how to find it and, having found it, I can use it quite well as I have done many times.

Quivver -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/6/2008 5:52:33 PM)
Short term? not a problem. Long term I believe problems would crop up. If the Indian has better sense then the Cheif that tribe is doomed.

CelticPrince -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/6/2008 6:11:31 PM)
quote: This is really aimed at the subs, but A/all feedback is welcome. We all come to this lifestyle from different backgrounds, professions, and even educations- and I'm wondering if other subs have encountered or dealt with this problem- What if you are smarter, more worldly, or just far better educated than your Dom/me or One that you are considering applying to? Can such a relationship work, or even be worth exploring? Can TPE even be a legitimate option if such is the case? bear, It may work if the relationship is sex based, but if there is a power factor to be considered, In my opinion it will ultimately fail. CP

AquaticSub -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/6/2008 6:16:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Quivver If the Indian has better sense then the Cheif that tribe is doomed. I'd agree with that in a sense, I think most wise rulers have known when to take the advice of those more intelligent, insightful or educated on the subject at hand. Problems in any relationship will arise when one partner doesn't have the sense to listen when it's important. Being able to control effectively is not always being the smartest, but being best able to use your resources - whatever they are.

DominantJenny -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/6/2008 6:31:00 PM)
nods at AquaticSub And one of a dominant's resources is her or his submissive. As it happens, I am much smarter/more intellectual than my slave, and, in a great many ways, much more worldly. However, he has social skills that most people only dream of. But perhaps the best example is this: I'm cautious, he's a risk-taker. As the one who makes the final decisions, I could deny him every risk he wants to take. But I don't. I've learned over the years to trust his instincts more often than not when it comes to taking a risk, and rarely have we made an error, and many of those risks have paid off big. At the same time, he's learned to appreciate my caution, which has prevented us some burns along the way. Very little is black and white, and this certainly isn't one of those things.

pinkwind -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/6/2008 6:52:28 PM)
Our compatibility comes from a multitude of different elements that we have each brought into our relationship and which, for the most part, compliment rather than mirror each others life experiences, be it academic achievements, professional accomplishments, upbringing, social mores, personal morality or just differing life experiences in general. Master Andy is more practical, whereas i am more intellectual, but both have needed to be cerebral beings in our own fields, analytical to differing degrees, me probably more emotional. Bringing our different life experiences into one entity has given us both so much more to learn about each other, so much more to hold our interest in how we work so well as a D/s, M/s couple, and has helped form a very unique partnership. Pure academic achievements have been in totally different fields and because of that there is little to be gained from oneupmanship about which one of us reached the highest levels of education. Our disciplines were as different as chalk and cheese, after all. What has made our relationship work is that it isn't a style adopted, just life lived together for the fulfillment of both, and that we have not let apathy set in and gnaw away at it's foundations. That's where the intelligence comes in.

Evility -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/6/2008 7:07:13 PM)
Can any relationship work with that sort of disparity?

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/6/2008 7:08:40 PM)
It wouldnt work for me. I need to be challenged by my Sir. With that being said, they dont have to be more educated than me. They do have to be my intellectual equal or superior. b

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/6/2008 7:17:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: atljerbear35 What if you are smarter, more worldly, or just far better educated than your Dom/me or One that you are considering applying to? Can such a relationship work, or even be worth exploring? Can TPE even be a legitimate option if such is the case? Whether or not this can work depends alot on the attitude of the Dom/me in the situation. If they are done learning, have no intention of becoming more worldly or better educated then it might cause a problem. If they are not willing to learn, from life and from their sub, there might be issues. Not everyone is going to be equal, but they do need to be compatible. If the D type is happy with what they know, can hold a good enough job to support themselves and can carry on a decent conversation, it shouldnt matter what piece of paper they hold giving them accredation. However, if they are ignorant, unwiling to expand themselves and sheltered, I cant see it happening becasue to control someone you have to learn with them, about them and gain knowledge in how to do that. DV

Leatherist -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/6/2008 7:38:37 PM)
There is a distinct difference between education and wisdom.

OldBastardly1 -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/6/2008 7:46:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist There is a distinct difference between education and wisdom. Absolutely. Education and wisdom. Education and intelligence. Education and common sense.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/6/2008 7:51:00 PM)
I disagree. I believe education and wisdom are very related. I do not, however, believe tha a school is the only place you get an education. We learn constantly, or at least we should. Wisdom does not happen on its own, you have to learn before you can become wise. I didnt sat book smarts. I said Educated. There are things you will never learn in school. You learn on the job, you learn from friends, and family, and even enemies. But you are always being educated, unless you stop trying to learn. My humble opinion of course DV

stella41b -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/6/2008 7:54:25 PM)
Developing a harmonious, loving relationship with your own child or being able to program a network of computers - which is more valuable to society? And how do you measure intellect or wolrdliness? A college degree? A doctorate? I don't have any of these things, I have never graduated anywhere in my life apart from school and night school, and I don't think I need them either. Maybe I see things differently, but I don't compare and contrast myself with potential partners but I see two people joined together as a unit, a team, Dominant and submissive, which together have both strengths and weaknesses, virtues and faults, baggage, pasts, issues, and everything else which makes people human and it's sort of held together by some sort of emotional connection which often grows and develops, sometimes stagnates, but while it exists it defines the relationship.

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