RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (Full Version)

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tempest74 -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/10/2008 6:08:45 PM)

I think it's not so much about intelligence or smarts, but more about someone that is into analysis...which does require intellect, but not necessarily education.

Analyzing and synthesizing information...that is the key for me at least.



Akinta -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/11/2008 12:11:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: atljerbear35
What if you are smarter, more worldly, or just far better educated than your Dom/me or One that you are considering applying to?


Humm.. I went back to the original post here, since I wanted to highlight this aspect of asking all three dimensions of things. If you're smarter, more worldly, AND far better educated, it'll likely be boring. =D But, as everyone's said.. it doesn't take intellect to make a good top. It takes initiative. Most people with initiative also seek out learning. Maybe it's not school, but constant learning as most here have spoken about.
I know I'm much smarter than my pet, but I don't hold that over her (usually); she's often the one who compliments me on being so smart. I don't think of it that way, because to me it's normal. Others are inferior [8D]. She is smarter than I am in several ways, though.. such as her fashion sense. So I learn from her in the areas where she's better.
To tie this back in to the topic, I've had several friends I knew who took a "better-than-you" attitude when it came to their doms and their intelligence being better. This often created a rift, and the relationship didn't end well. I'd consider that more topping from the bottom, given what I know of those people.. which may oft be the case. Something to consider.



Justme696 -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/11/2008 2:01:12 AM)

The problem is not people that are smarter/better educated...but the problem starts with people who THINK they are.



DesFIP -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/11/2008 10:27:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

quote:

 
Pink, I think the reason RM pointed out Stella's accomplishments is to show that her lack of higher formal education has no relevance to her stature in the theater community.


Did I misunderstand you, or did you just call Stella stupid? That she has been successful in spite of being uneducated? I find that highly offensive.


You totally misunderstood me.

Stella said she doesn't have higher formal education. But she is well known and admired in the international theater community. And what I didn't state, because I assumed it was obvious, is that to be at her level in the theater community, she of course has to be highly intelligent.

Additionally education comes in more forms than just book learning. Artistic abilities do not always coincide with great math ability. Critically reading skills do not mean you can pass college Physics 101. Being in touch with your emotions is a necessary skill to have good relationships but doesn't have anything to do with balancing a checkbook. So when someone says intelligence do they mean reading, math, artistic or emotional intelligence?



domahpet -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/11/2008 10:37:53 AM)

quote:

 So when someone says intelligence do they mean reading, math, artistic or emotional intelligence?


exactly.
Zee is hella smarter than me at lots of things,
business, math, etc
but i got some skills too ;)
art, people skills, english...

if the two sides fit, it all works out




chickpea -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/11/2008 11:11:48 AM)

Well gee, yes I have a problem with a so-called Master who's a stranger to me that screams submit and submit now!!!!!!!!!  And then gets upset, if I don't submit. 



LaMsBitch -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/29/2008 9:06:02 AM)

 it works for me ......oh so pleasantly...My Master is a genius and  his mind captivates me........ and i am bound with emotions that  words can not convey....  



Elphame -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/30/2008 7:50:01 AM)


      This is actually a problem I have encountered in the past, so I hope I can offer some insight…. Occasionally it does happen and the most important aspect to this potential issue, is that if the other half (“smarter” half) is equally as interested then most problems that could arise from this specific issue can be worked out. Aside from that being the most obvious of answers, there is also the chance that a problem in the “Total Power Exchange” dynamic could arise. Though I personally believe this is only a possibility if the sub/slave is allowing to much pride and self-centeredness into his/her thoughts. To be a TPE power must be exchanged. In other words to become powerless, they must release that power to another in exchange for trust and respect.
Best of luck to You!
As a foot note, if he/she is interested they are obviously aware of the differences in any of those areas, trust them…



simplyfyre -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/30/2008 8:13:11 AM)

Greetings atljerbear,

after a while when the realities of day to day life come back into existance....
No
..... not if you learn that you cant trust them to take care of a budget better than you do (,an example) and they arent willing to let you

your mileage may vary

Be Well
Fyre



eastcoastgal -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/30/2008 12:41:05 PM)

I think the key to your question is whether education is very important to you. 
Personally, I hold nothing to a higher value than my education.  I am proud of how far I have gone and fully intend to make formal education a part of the rest of my life (med school is a killer).  That being said, I personally do not think I could be with a dominant who is significantly less educated than I.  But I couldn't be with a vanilla man who is significantly less educated either. 

If you hold yourself to a high standard, educationally or intellectually, than no...I do not think the relationship will work out, BDSM or not.  If you do not covet it on a personal level though, than I would venture to guess it is something you will be able to overlook. 

I don't post often....i think my ramblings explain why, haha.



LPslittleclip -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/30/2008 7:51:36 PM)

for me and the dynamic i belong to it is not based on intelligence but personality. there are times that i have the lead in a situation and others that my M'Lady does it just depends on the topic. I'm a submissive my M'Lady is a dominant it just works that way.



cantilena -> RE: Does D/s work if "s" is smarter than "D"? (5/30/2008 9:25:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: atljerbear35

This is really aimed at the subs, but A/all feedback is welcome.
We all come to this lifestyle from different backgrounds, professions, and even educations- and I'm wondering if other subs have encountered or dealt with this problem- What if you are smarter, more worldly, or just far better educated than your Dom/me or One that you are considering applying to?  Can such a relationship work, or even be worth exploring? Can TPE even be a legitimate option if such is the case?


I know this is a fairly dated thread, but I've actually been thinking about what the answer might be for me since the question first appeared.  It's a great question.  As with most of these sorts of things, I believe there are as many answers as there are respondents.  All up to individual situations and preference.

At first glance, I thought the answer for me was no, such a relationship wouldn't work out in the long run.  I'm not the smartest, most sophisticated person on the planet, but neither am I a dimwit who lives in a cave.  For compatibility, I was thinking along the lines that yes... these things are important and need to balance well.

On further thought, I've come to suspect that those traits aren't the dealbreakers after all.  I think for me, the dealbreaker is that indefinable group of qualities that make up simply "having one's s*&t together".  I'm a fairly competent human being, but the dominant in my life must be even more so.  In the end, confidence, self-assurance, a solid grounding in reality and calm control of his entire life are much more key for me than simple "smarts", "bookishness" or "worldliness".

Just 2 more cents on this thread.



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