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RE: Is she too young? - 5/6/2008 8:12:12 PM

thetammyjo

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I got Fox when he was 19 and I was 30. Maturity isn't always a function of age. Just don't move too fast and keep your head screwed on straight and enjoy the journey with her for as long as you both benefit from it.

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Post #: 21

RE: Is she too young? - 5/6/2008 8:32:48 PM

SimplyMichael

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You are likely to get your heartbroken and the chances of the relationship going long term are slim to none, but then again, what is happiness worth?

The reason I cast cold water on it is because that while she loves THAT side of you, and trust me, I can imagine how wonderful it felt having that awkward/vulnerable side of you embraced. She loves clubs and can't get in yet, she is three years away, how old will YOU be when she is 21and wants to spend every night out?

How much do you actually have in common?

As for the age itself, some kids are vastly more mature and self aware just as some adults haven't gotten past their teens or even whiney childhoods.

That said, if it felt right, I myself would go for it. One never knows when love will hit. It was dating a 19 year old and the heartbreak I went through that landed my precious BSB in my lap. So say fuck it all and go for it.

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Post #: 22

RE: Is she too young? - 5/6/2008 9:56:09 PM

Pyrrsefanie

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Speaking as a young Domme who's been told from a very young age that she carries herself like a much older woman...

Don't let the physical age differences get in the way of what could potentially be a very happy relationship. If she's showing interest in you then she's not bothered by it; neither should you be. It's the emotional and intellectual age that you need to match up a bit more closely. I know plenty of 30+ people who act like teenagers. Hell, I'm related to most of them.

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Post #: 23

RE: Is she too young? - 5/6/2008 9:58:39 PM

MadRabbit

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I tend to agree with SimplyMichael. Enjoy it if you want to, but don't be too optimistic with it long term.

Even if she does carry herself maturely (I carryed myself maturely too at 19 and fooled most people), it still doesn't count for a whole lot. It's something the smart young people learn to do when they are insecure over their age. It's called "mimicing".

Life experience will bring a lot of changes over the next 5 years for her and you have no idea (and probably neither does she) what direction that will take her.

Hell, and most of the submissives I have dated have been in that 19-21 age bracket and I don't put a lot of stock in the longevity of my relationships.

I say enjoy it, don't look a gift horse in the mouth, but don't become to dependant on that horse being around forever.

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 5/6/2008 10:03:08 PM >

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Post #: 24

RE: Is she too young? - 5/7/2008 4:22:44 AM

RavenMuse

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your cowardice and lack of confidence has possibly lost you something good! Age is but a number, maturity is what counts. she is 19 you are 34... a gap of 15 years... thats nothing if the chemistry is right between you... if the chemistry had been wrong then it wouldn't have mattered if you where the same age, it wouldn't have made it any more right.

There is 19 years between My girl and I but the age difference isn't a factor in Our relationship..... except if I am rattling on about some experience or other and she pouts and pipes up with "that was before I was BORN"... then We usualy both laugh or I respond with "There was this guy, long, long ago by the name of Elvis!"

Many of our values are the same, our outlook on life is similar, the chemistry is spot on, much of our humour is similar (warped and dark *g*)..... so there is an age gap, so what. It isn't a problem for Us and if it is a problem for anyone else... they can kiss My arse, it has nothing to do with them. I even get on great with her folks and I am closer to them in age than I am to her.

Advice: grow a pair and listen to your intuition when it tells you there is something special there rather than running away because... gosh what might people think because there is an age gap!

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Post #: 25

RE: Is she too young? - 5/7/2008 4:26:56 AM

Griswold

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

your cowardice and lack of confidence has possibly lost you something good! Age is but a number, maturity is what counts. she is 19 you are 34... a gap of 15 years... thats nothing if the chemistry is right between you... if the chemistry had been wrong then it wouldn't have mattered if you where the same age, it wouldn't have made it any more right.

There is 19 years between My girl and I but the age difference isn't a factor in Our relationship..... except if I am rattling on about some experience or other and she pouts and pipes up with "that was before I was BORN"... then We usualy both laugh or I respond with "There was this guy, long, long ago by the name of Elvis!"

Many of our values are the same, our outlook on life is similar, the chemistry is spot on, much of our humour is similar (warped and dark *g*)..... so there is an age gap, so what. It isn't a problem for Us and if it is a problem for anyone else... they can kiss My arse, it has nothing to do with them. I even get on great with her folks and I am closer to them in age than I am to her.

Advice: grow a pair and listen to your intuition when it tells you there is something special there rather than running away because... gosh what might people think because there is an age gap!

Yeah but...when they're listening to a song on the radio and you say to her "you know who that is don't you Hon?" and she says "well of course....it's Paul McCartney, with Wings" and you mention the obvious and she says "NOOOOOOOO!!!!! Really??? Paul McCartney was one of the Beatles????!!!!!"

She's too young.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 26

RE: Is she too young? - 5/7/2008 4:33:45 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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i say go for it.

personally, i wouldn't date someone who's half my age however if she's classy, refrined, etc as you say she is - so what's stopping you from giving her a chance as she did about your cross dressing?

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Post #: 27

RE: Is she too young? - 5/7/2008 9:31:55 AM

SailingBum

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SubJordanTyler

But here's the dilemma - she's only 19 and I'm 34 in a few weeks. The way she was dressed (beautiful, classy, refined) and how she carried herself, I was certainly she was 24 or 25 minimum. So when she said she's 19, I was blown away. I didn't take it farther than that because the age difference seemed too much.

But it felt right with her - more than most anyone else. So was I wrong for not doing more even though she's that much younger, especially when she was so accepting of the female side of me?? I do know where to find her again if I so desire, so it's not like she's totally out of the picture. I'd hate to miss out on that one, right person for something like an age difference.

What are you nucking futs. Go out and enjoi anyone that's of age. Who gives a flying fuck what others may think.

BadOne

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Post #: 28

RE: Is she too young? - 5/7/2008 9:56:03 AM

chellekitty

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Joined: 3/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

You are likely to get your heartbroken and the chances of the relationship going long term are slim to none, but then again, what is happiness worth?

The reason I cast cold water on it is because that while she loves THAT side of you, and trust me, I can imagine how wonderful it felt having that awkward/vulnerable side of you embraced. She loves clubs and can't get in yet, she is three years away, how old will YOU be when she is 21and wants to spend every night out?

How much do you actually have in common?

As for the age itself, some kids are vastly more mature and self aware just as some adults haven't gotten past their teens or even whiney childhoods.

That said, if it felt right, I myself would go for it. One never knows when love will hit. It was dating a 19 year old and the heartbreak I went through that landed my precious BSB in my lap. So say fuck it all and go for it.

well you could consider it community karma....when i was 19 an older man (24 years older than me) broke my heart...took me 2 years to realize he wasn't coming back and another to stop being angry at him....

to the OP...i would take it slowly if i were you...unless you are leaving things out, all you have mentioned is how much she likes the CD side of you, and i have seen your posts, there is a lot more to what you like to do than that...and well...i don't know about you, but i have to have someone except all of me, even when i find someone who does accept that one thing i like that no one else seems to...

good luck
chelle

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Post #: 29

RE: Is she too young? - 5/7/2008 10:07:35 AM

FRSguy

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Although I do agree with everyone as in go for it I would like to point out just for a second that this girl is at a reproductive age... now you might want to keep it in mind that if the relationship took off so to speak you can prety much expect to pony up domesticly. I dont think that is a cause to say 'no' because hey how many relationships really get that serious however I just wanted to say that there is a certain degree of responsibility involved with haveing a relationship with a younger person in that they still have to experience life as a younger person otherwise they will skip over the years that you spend with them and it will come back to bite you in the ass later on. My situation is that now I am 39 and I havent been with a woman my own age or younger going back to age 16, I have allways been with woman at least 7-10 years older than me and although I have had a wonderful life so far, there were sacrafices as a result.

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 30

RE: Is she too young? - 5/7/2008 10:18:37 AM

chaosforge

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*smiles* you know she is of a leagle age, you believe her to be of sound mind to make her own choises,,, i'd say forget age and let Life go where it may : ) Here's to happiness and the pursuit there of! - phoenix

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Post #: 31

RE: Is she too young? - 5/7/2008 10:30:05 AM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SubJordanTyler

Is she to young?

Is she legal? If yes, all else is a matter of keeping an open mind. Avoid moralizing to yourself on the age difference, no matter what you're doing.

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Post #: 32

RE: Is she too young? - 5/7/2008 10:30:13 AM

Pyrrsefanie

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From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Griswold

Yeah but...when they're listening to a song on the radio and you say to her "you know who that is don't you Hon?" and she says "well of course....it's Paul McCartney, with Wings" and you mention the obvious and she says "NOOOOOOOO!!!!! Really??? Paul McCartney was one of the Beatles????!!!!!"

She's too young.

Not too young, in that example she's a complete fucking idiot. Come on, I'm not even 21 yet and I can rattle off more shit about the Beatles than most people who were actually at their concerts.

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Ти саркастична, це – доля,
Ти артистична в неволі,
Ти симпатична в цій ролі,
Ти синтетична до болю

Read my series, Taking Jessica, on http://www.akashaweb.com !

(in reply to Griswold)

Post #: 33

RE: Is she too young? - 5/7/2008 11:05:50 AM

MusicalBoredom

Posts: 620
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From: Louisiana/New York
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Obviously I'm on the age doesn't matter side of things. I did however take a year getting to know this one as friends and doing things together in the world with other friends and some mild "play" from time to time. After that, we both really wanted to be in a relationship with each other. So far so good. I have had relationships last a while and some not so long -- all from a cross section of age differences. I find that what makes them work or not work rarely has anything to do with age. Keep in mind that people will talk but some tend to talk anyway. Good luck.

(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)

Post #: 34

RE: Is she too young? - 5/7/2008 11:46:51 AM

Justme696

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Young doesn't mean stupid or something similar. But when you are longer togetter you notice a lott of small differences...in views..in interests...etc.
But as with many things...depending on the persons..it can go well also of course.
If you love some one...enjoy it...no matter (what legal) age

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Post #: 35

RE: Is she too young? - 5/7/2008 11:47:40 AM

CruelnycMistress

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Well as a general rule: to each their own When I was younger I dated much older guys When I was 19 I had a bf who was 38, it lasted for about 2 years. I never really did clubs or hardcore parties so that wasn’t the problem. Guess it’s different for every body.
What really turned Me off to dating older gentlemen is when I went to vacation with My Dad. Everybody gave us evil eyes…and I just wanted to hold up a sign “Wait no, this is My father”….it was so awkward. Usually I could care less what people think…but that was kind of personal. Recently I have found more and more men My age that are actually quite pleasant to be around.

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Post #: 36

RE: Is she too young? - 5/7/2008 12:06:47 PM

DarkVictory

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SubJordanTyler

--snip--

But here's the dilemma - she's only 19 and I'm 34 in a few weeks. The way she was dressed (beautiful, classy, refined) and how she carried herself, I was certainly she was 24 or 25 minimum. So when she said she's 19, I was blown away. I didn't take it farther than that because the age difference seemed too much.

But it felt right with her - more than most anyone else. So was I wrong for not doing more even though she's that much younger, especially when she was so accepting of the female side of me?? I do know where to find her again if I so desire, so it's not like she's totally out of the picture. I'd hate to miss out on that one, right person for something like an age difference.

I'm 49, and the slave I'm working with is 24. That's a 25 year age difference. It's significant, but not insurmountable. In my case, my last wife was nine years younger, and my previous slave was nineteen when I was 45. So, I have some experience.

What I've noticed is the biggest issue is not 'maturity', but interests. Women who are into this life at the age of 19 or 20 are generally way more mature than their counterparts. That may not be true for all, but it has been my experience to date. Yet, they remain 19. What that shows up as is an interest in what 19 year olds are interested in.

At 19 or 20, they have just become autonomous, and want to experience that automony through travel, parties, friends, late nights, early mornings, you name it. At 49, I'm interested in quiet evenings at home with people I'm close to. In order to make the relationships work, I've had to consciously be aware of the needs and desires that she might have. I've taken girls to all night dance parties, to raves, done exotic travel, etc. This is all world-expanding, adult actualizing stuff.

If you can give her the space to be with you and still be 19, she's gonna feel free around you. If you make it hard to be 19 around you, the relationship will probably be limited in duration.

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Post #: 37

RE: Is she too young? - 5/7/2008 3:50:25 PM

PanthersMom

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have fun while it lasts. if it lasts a lifetime, so be it; if not, you will have had fun while you could.

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Post #: 38

RE: Is she too young? - 5/7/2008 4:00:20 PM

LeatherBentOne

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When I was 53, I had a submissive that was 27. The only reason I ended the relationship was that she lied to me about doing something she already had permission to do. I ended the relationship because she lied, not because of her age. Anyone at any age is capable of lying, but for me lying is a definite deal breaker.

I say, as long as the submissive is of legal age. Best wishes.

LBO

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Post #: 39

RE: Is she too young? - 5/7/2008 7:29:36 PM

SubJordanTyler

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Joined: 4/16/2007
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Can't really disagree with anything said on here so far - thanks to everyone for sharing their thoughts. Just seems like I have to keep in mind that there could be some age-related issues, but that if we're both willing to work it through, then this is something that could work. Will probably see her next week...........so we'll see what happens.

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Post #: 40

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