RE: Is she too young?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Is she too young?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Is she too young?

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 [4]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Is she too young? - 5/11/2008 7:07:18 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

And since it is mother's day and I am a mother........just one little word of caution if it might apply to this particular young lady.

Many, not all, but many. 19 yo girls are still VERY close to their parents. They are also, sometimes, very strongly influenced by their parents. Some parents would have a HUGE issue with this type of situation. And some of those parents, can make life a living HELL for the "evil older creep" that sullied their precious daughter.

Not saying it applies here at all...........just a note of caution, something to investigate, based on a few situations I've seen in the last few years.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to mhunt2)

Profile

Post #: 61

RE: Is she too young? - 5/11/2008 12:06:09 PM

AtMyRequest

Posts: 2
Joined: 4/28/2008
Status: offline

I met a young woman online about a year ago while I was helping out another friend with a problem. She was 21, I was 51 at the time. We were simply friends, made the more obvious by the fact that she was gay. One of the sweetest people I've ever known. As we continued to speak, we became close. After several months, much to my surprise, she started telling me that she had thoughts of being with me, and was falling in love with me.

I have a child about the same age as her. I told her that she was no doubt just confused about a number of issues in her life. That if she really was thinking about actually being straight or bi, that she was just focused on me because I cared for her, not because I was likely a suitable partner. She is simply a beautiful, smart, caring person, and I could never ask for anyone better. However, I am sure that I am not the best match for her. And, I am also sure that my children would have great problems with my being with someone their age. Their well being must come first.

She only rarely speaks to me now, as she still has feelings. I have passed upon what may have been something wonderful. I still feel in my case I made the right choice for both of us. But, if I had no children, I would likely have given it a chance.

You obviously don't have this kind of roadblock. Go for it. If you don't, it is going to be something you may regret for the rest of your life. It's much worse to live with 'it may have been' than 'it didn't work out.'

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Profile

Post #: 62

RE: Is she too young? - 5/12/2008 11:51:10 AM

hereyesruponyou

Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline

Great topic as i have become close with someone thorugh another avenue than this one who is 19 (i will be 42 this year). I never imagined this kind of feeling and realize that i must be careful to not be "caught up in the sensation". Having a 17 1/2 year old daughter also causes concern for me as i know it would likely be an issue between us. For now his situation requires that contact can only be online and somehow that is making it easier. I find myself wanting to help him explore his sexuality, but with the thought of him taking that expereince and moving on in his life someday. Perhaps that is naive and heartbreak could follow for either of us, but for now it seems like harmless fun. At what point do i make that choice and cross a line? I'm not really sure. And to think, when i was 36 i felt like 30 was too young for me to date, lol.

Now on the other side of the issue, i have always been attracted to older men, sometimes significantly older, but what i have found is that after the superficial fun wears off, the differences in priorities, ideas, wants, needs, etc... come out. And sometimes just not having common groud of the past on which to co-exist can be trying. Not saying that this is specific to age, but to any situation where you are coming from two different places can create added strain.

hmmmm, did i have a point in here somewhere???

_____________________________

Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be

(in reply to AtMyRequest)

Profile

Post #: 63

RE: Is she too young? - 5/12/2008 12:27:19 PM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

AtMyRequest at one point in my life I was where you were. Such is life.

(in reply to hereyesruponyou)

Profile

Post #: 64

RE: Is she too young? - 5/12/2008 1:25:22 PM

lateralist1

Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

All this is great insight into how people think BUT it has absolutely no relevance to your situation.
Please find out what she thinks about you before you allow yourself any hope whatsoever.
If it was me at 19 you would know by now if I wanted you.
But then I wouldn't have given you a second look if you didn't have a sports car.
I'm not saying all 19 year olds were/are like I was.
We don't know her and it sounds to me neither do you.
At 19 Elvis was really the only man for me.
Especially after I met him.
When he died something died in a lot of my age group.
Now how do I explain that to anyone who wasn't there at the time and who didn't feel the same?

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Profile

Post #: 65

RE: Is she too young? - 5/12/2008 3:04:26 PM

BrigandDoom

Posts: 155
Joined: 12/29/2007
From: Nottingham
Status: offline

Very valid point, still as a fresh faced 20 year old I was picking up my then nilla girlfriend who was 19 when her father very pompously asked me what my intentions were towards his daughter! I was somewhat taken aback by this, so I responded, get her pissed, then fuck her! He went 20 shades of red before collapsing into an armchair and starting to sweat heavily! I don't think he liked my response lol

< Message edited by BrigandDoom -- 5/12/2008 3:05:23 PM >

_____________________________

Brigand Doom

There is only one, accept no alternatives!

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Profile

Post #: 66