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What's in it for you? - 5/8/2008 7:10:34 AM   
clevername2


Posts: 16
Joined: 5/8/2008
Status: offline 		I get off being dominated, manhandled and abused. I like sex to happen to me rather than be something that I do, if that makes any sense. It turns me on when someone else asserts control of the situation and then directs me or acts on me directly. It puts me in a state of mind that by excusing me from deciding how things go, frees me up to enjoy what happens. I like being receptive; I like being used. To me it is obviously enjoyable. Being dominant would be the opposite to me. So I am at a loss to imagine what is in it for the Dominant partner. What do you enjoy about having to be on top of what is haapening? What is it about domination that turns you on?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What's in it for you? - 5/8/2008 7:18:35 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

I get off  dominating, manhandling and abusing. I like sex to be something that I do, if that makes any sense. It turns me on when I assert control of the situation and then direct someone or act on someone directly. It puts me in a GREAT state of mind deciding how things go and I enjoy what happens. I like being assertive and agressive; I like  using. To me it is obviously enjoyable. Being submissive would be the opposite to me.

I hate to be flippant, but I used your words -- see?

I love it, it makes me wet, it turns me on -- that's the simple answer, there are more complicated ones but they require a longer discussion for me.

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to clevername2)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: What's in it for you? - 5/8/2008 7:49:30 AM   
clevername2


Posts: 16
Joined: 5/8/2008
Status: offline 		Let's not risk complicated answers and long discussions in a forum online. It would imperil the status quo. Your flippant reply is appreciated.

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: What's in it for you? - 5/8/2008 8:05:01 AM   
kinkypuppy2


Posts: 345
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		The power to take that from you. I tend to feed on energys of others and enjoy it more then having an orgasum. The power that I am given by you to be comfortable in taking you is control.. I LIKE IT.

_____________________________

See nic "Kinkypupper" also as "slvseeker" As I cannot reply to any posts or log into collarchat under that name I had to create this profile.

(in reply to clevername2)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: What's in it for you? - 5/8/2008 9:33:03 AM   
MadameXTC


Posts: 96
Joined: 9/30/2004
Status: offline 		I think, like others have said, it goes the same way. It is like having a magnetic pull one is attracted to the other for the exact same, yet different reason, I am a switch and I feel pleasure in both being a Top and a bottom. It is the sexual energy that flows from one person to another in a scene. If I am on top or bottom I find joy and pleasure in the things that take place, if I did not find joy or pleasure, why would I do it?

_____________________________

"Dominance is best viewed through a submissive's actions"

(in reply to kinkypuppy2)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: What's in it for you? - 5/8/2008 9:42:22 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Madame4a if you hate to be flippant then I will take it over for you. Op I will echo what she said.

(in reply to MadameXTC)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What's in it for you? - 5/8/2008 10:15:15 AM   
clevername2


Posts: 16
Joined: 5/8/2008
Status: offline 		in other words, you have no idea, you just like it...

let me rest a while as i let the astoinishment of profound insight subside...whoosh...woosh...whoosh...like might ocean waves powerfully cascading their secrets brought up from distant depths...whoosh...

(THAT was sarcasm..)





(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What's in it for you? - 5/8/2008 10:43:23 AM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		Control

(in reply to clevername2)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What's in it for you? - 5/8/2008 10:57:21 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I'm missing the huge mystery about it.  You get turned on by not being in control; dominants get turned on by being in control.  You like things being done to you; they like doing things to people.  I don't see anything profound about it. 

In fact, I'm missing where you delved into anything profound... you know you like it, but you don't know WHY you like it.  WHY do you like not being in control? Why do you find yourself free to feel when you're not in control, instead of free to feel when you are in control? 

I don't think there ARE any answers on why we like the things we do... why do needles make me barf but they make someone else cum?  Why do tall strong leaders make me get all gooey inside and short followers don't?  Why does a face slap make me violent but makes someone else weak in the knees? 

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to antipode)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What's in it for you? - 5/8/2008 11:23:53 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		This tall strong person looks down at the gooey chick. How did I miss that this was supposed to be a profound post?? I thought it was someones fantasy.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What's in it for you? - 5/8/2008 11:36:01 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		<---------- Check the title sweetheart.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What's in it for you? - 5/8/2008 1:41:13 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		You're more likely to get quality responses to your opening post if you don't act like an inconsiderate jackass when people take time out of their day to answer your question.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What's in it for you? - 5/8/2008 1:48:40 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Stability, peace of mind.
 
Fun and intimacy.
 
A sense that life can have meaning-and that your life can end with a positive contrubution to humanity.
 
Sex and play came way down the list in relation to all of that.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What's in it for you? - 5/8/2008 1:57:04 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: clevername2

I get off being dominated, manhandled and abused. I like sex to happen to me rather than be something that I do, if that makes any sense. It turns me on when someone else asserts control of the situation and then directs me or acts on me directly. It puts me in a state of mind that by excusing me from deciding how things go, frees me up to enjoy what happens. I like being receptive; I like being used. To me it is obviously enjoyable. Being dominant would be the opposite to me. So I am at a loss to imagine what is in it for the Dominant partner. What do you enjoy about having to be on top of what is haapening? What is it about domination that turns you on?


Easy answer.........It's HAWT!!

Makes me feel like me. I don't take orders well.......at all. I just naturally take over stuff. The reverse makes me sick to my stomach. It just feels right. It's HAWT!! I love being in control of a smart sexy woman that feels I am worthy of her submission. It's HAWT. I like various activities that tend to require me being the dominant party. It's HAWT!! I like turning a smart sexy woman into a puddle of goo. It's HAWT!!!

Get the drift there cowboy?


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to clevername2)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What's in it for you? - 5/8/2008 4:43:07 PM   
Bound2One


Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a



I get off  dominating, manhandling and abusing. I like sex to be something that I do, if that makes any sense. It turns me on when I assert control of the situation and then direct someone or act on someone directly. It puts me in a GREAT state of mind deciding how things go and I enjoy what happens. I like being assertive and agressive; I like  using. To me it is obviously enjoyable. Being submissive would be the opposite to me.

I hate to be flippant, but I used your words -- see?

I love it, it makes me wet, it turns me on -- that's the simple answer, there are more complicated ones but they require a longer discussion for me.



I don't see your answer as flippant at all!  It's a perfect response, I think, to the OP's question.  There is a yin/yang energy flow in a D/s relationship/scene, whatever.  Just like I would abhor being the one in charge, Master adores being the one in charge.  It works perfectly for us.  I imagine it may get a little more complicated should one or both parties be switches, but not being one, I can't address that. 

OP - I'm with you.  I would never want to top/dom anyone.  I've even asked Master this very question - what do you get out of it?  He pretty much answered what Madame did above.  Simply put, he loves it when a plan comes together!  (and so do I!)

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What's in it for you? - 5/8/2008 4:58:46 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I think of it like being at a buffet.  A woman is spread out before me and I can choose anything I like to do to her (within limits of course but usually I don't want to do antyhing limited anyway).

Being a Dom is great.  It's about pleasing me!


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Bound2One)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What's in it for you? - 5/8/2008 5:44:58 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		Internally, I'm a violent person.  I hide it well.  Being dominant allows me to express some of that violence, in healthy, acceptable doses.  It's a bit like the high you get when you're zipping along a roller coaster.  Not everyone likes roller coasters; I do.

Stephan


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What's in it for you? - 5/8/2008 6:19:22 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~

They like it for the reason Val hate tomatos and pickles and I love them. It's just way we are - but it does come in pretty handy when he gets a salad. He doesn't need to ask the waitress to leave off the tomatos and I get a tasty treat! He's a dominant, I'm not. I'm a submissive, he's not. Comes in pretty handy.

BTW, if you look around, you'll find some threads where dominants ask your exact question except they can't fathom not wanting to be dominant.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What's in it for you? - 5/8/2008 7:34:52 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It is who I am, it is what I enjoy and what fulfills me.  Same as you.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What's in it for you? - 5/8/2008 8:24:59 PM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: clevername2

I get off being dominated, manhandled and abused. I like sex to happen to me rather than be something that I do, if that makes any sense. It turns me on when someone else asserts control of the situation and then directs me or acts on me directly. It puts me in a state of mind that by excusing me from deciding how things go, frees me up to enjoy what happens. I like being receptive; I like being used. To me it is obviously enjoyable. Being dominant would be the opposite to me. So I am at a loss to imagine what is in it for the Dominant partner. What do you enjoy about having to be on top of what is haapening? What is it about domination that turns you on?


Other than a self warming, self lubing sex doll, I get to create.  I get to mold.  I have the MOST captive audience in My Pet.  I live for those moments where it is clear that she is my pet.


_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to clevername2)
Profile   Post #: 20
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