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RE: Doms & Mothers - 5/10/2008 10:34:24 AM

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Joined: 3/3/2006
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Yes, it sounds like a clusterfuck deluxe.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

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RE: Doms & Mothers - 5/10/2008 2:04:50 PM

mstrj69

Posts: 295
Joined: 5/27/2004
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If he wants to stop your mom from saying what she does on the phone, how about his trying to make up for his mistakes in a way that she can see he is trying to make you happy and be the man he should be. Unless he is willing to try that, get rid of him.

Myself, I have been in the opposite position before, mom tried to throw her daughter at me and it failed miserably. Try telling your mom that her being down on him is pushing you to him not away from him and he will not stop trying to be with you because of what she says. She should concentrate on changing your mind about him rather than changing him on the phone.

Stop trying to take either side. Simply tell them "It is between the two of you and if you try to put me in the middle, I do not want anything to do with you." Tell him not to bring up your mother and tell your mother not to bring him up in a conversation. The only exception might be if they have something good to say about the other person.

Following the above should make your life easier and you will see his flaws and decide if you can live with them in him or if you want him to grow up befire letting him control you. After all, how can he control you if he can not even control himself?

(in reply to Level)

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RE: Doms & Mothers - 5/10/2008 3:34:44 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
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I agree with above posts - the key word to me is "boundaries" - and sounds like you all have boundary work to do. It is entirely ok to tell your mum that she is out of line, and so is he. and don't listen when they start up to you. Tell them that you won't listen to disrespectful talk any more then walk away, or hang up the phone if they start. They don't have to love each other - just you. They do have to be polite with each other.

If you are consistant they will eventually stop- and you would have learnt a useful technique. good luck.

(in reply to batshalom)

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Post #: 43