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RE: Can someone explain please? - 5/11/2008 9:21:40 PM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
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You mean that you accepted a collar from someone, without first finding out what that means to him? Why haven't you asked your new Dom whether or not His giving you a "training collar" means that He is accepting responsibility for training you, rather than just assuming? And, while you're at it, why not ask Him what the difference is between "being under consideration" and "being in training", so that you can find out how HE defines these terms?

Are you not allowed to ask any questions and get clarification? If that's the case, then i think you might have bigger concerns than wondering about the difference between "consideration" and "training".

joy
Owned servant of Master David

quote:

ORIGINAL: EagerToPleaseYou

I just recently received a training collar from a new Dom. I am assuming that he has accepted the responsibility of training me and that at some point he will decide whether he'd like to own me. My question is: What is the difference between being under consideration and being in training? Are they the same?

Any help would be appreciated. I pretty new to all of this and don't have all of the jargon down

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RE: Can someone explain please? - 5/11/2008 10:00:33 PM

EagerToPleaseYou

Posts: 17
Joined: 11/24/2007
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I do plan to ask him. I just thought that the question was pretty trivial and I wouldn't need to bother him with it. I've found out differently. I'm sure he'll have that discussion with me.

Thanks to everyone for such good insight and advice!

L.

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RE: Can someone explain please? - 5/12/2008 2:11:40 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Justme, I disagree with your definition of "assume"... the word means "guess to be true", it does not mean "not sure if it happens."

Cali

A guess is still a guess.... means it "might" happen... but it gives no warrenty it will.
could be just my misunderstanding of english also...lol

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RE: Can someone explain please? - 5/12/2008 3:34:32 AM

peppermint

Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

Never use the word assume. Instead of saying, "I am assuming that he has accepted the responsibility of training me and that at some point he will decide whether he'd like to own me."....you should be saying, "Sir and i discussed what the collar meant to him. After the discussion i know that he wants me to XXX and the collar will lead to YYY." Never but never assume you know what the other is thinking.

I'm sure you've heard the words communication, communication, communication. Assumptions are NOT communication. Discussion of each others' intentions IS communication.

assuming or having intentions.....both do mean...not sure if it happens.....
don't see why one is communication and the other not

How can reading another's mind be considered communication? Assumptions are based on ONE person's thoughts or conclusions. Communication, on the other hand, needs TWO to tango.

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RE: Can someone explain please? - 5/12/2008 5:53:53 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EagerToPleaseYou

I do plan to ask him. I just thought that the question was pretty trivial and I wouldn't need to bother him with it. I've found out differently. I'm sure he'll have that discussion with me.

Thanks to everyone for such good insight and advice!

L.

You need to think about what you just wrote. If the question about the meaning of the collar is trivial, what does that say about the collar itself, the man who gave it, and the relationship which it represents?

I know you feel like some of our questions are attacking you but we are not. It may not seem like it today but we are actually looking out for you by making you examine your actions.

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RE: Can someone explain please? - 5/12/2008 2:59:32 PM

Sub247forU

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/15/2007
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"Under consideration" is a way for a selfish dominant to keep other dominants from playing with his toys while, at the same time, keeping the submissive blind to other options. He either wants to own you or he don't. ALL new sub/slaves will need training of some sorts. They will need to be molded in to the person the Dom/Master desires. Trained to their ways.

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RE: Can someone explain please? - 5/13/2008 3:35:19 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696
and skip the posts that say that all people who use "under consideration" are bad or wannebees.

quote:

it is good to show people that there is more then one way...and make them think..agree

Looking at these two separate posts of yours, it's good to show people that consistency is anything you say at any given time, too!

Consistency as in never change your view when some one made their point clear.?
Why didn't you post the small discussion in between..afther which I made the second remark?
Beeing stuborn..is not looking strong and strict...perhaps you think so... me not.

___
-first remark was when some one answered harsh in my opinion
-then that person explained what he tried to do
-second remark made, with a changed view because of the explanation
It is called communication. PErhaps you should do focus on the discussion and not what you wanna see as your opinion.

I think you're trying to explain this away a little more profoundly than mere communication....

The "second remark" didn't actually have a whole lot of relevance on its own, except to say it's a reasonable comment in general. It's relevance to me was when comparing it to your first remark.

The first remark was the issue; where you present yourself as grand arbiter of what is sage advice and what isn't. And now it seems you're dressing up the second remark as an example of "growth" or enlightenment from the first....

I think a lot of things, but you're the one installing yourself as censor and telling newbies on a public board who to skip....

Focus.

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RE: Can someone explain please? - 5/13/2008 4:56:41 AM

aleshaDreams

Posts: 184
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Collared - a committment between the sub and Dom where the Dom has control over the sub physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and sexually - submission is complete and no longer questioned. To me, at this point, you would go from sub to slave, Sir would become Master. That's just the way that I can emotionally relate to this.

EagerToPleaseYou: Not all submissives take the journey to become slave. Just for your point of reference.

< Message edited by aleshaDreams -- 5/13/2008 4:57:13 AM >

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RE: Can someone explain please? - 5/13/2008 6:22:58 AM

slaveelle

Posts: 116
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: Australia
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you recieved a collar and you dont know what it is or why? Dang girl....open your mouth and ask questions.

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Post #: 69