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Wannabe Vanilla - 5/12/2008 3:10:14 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		In the spirit of posts regarding wannabe's...

Who here has ever played the role of a Wannabe Vanilla, I don't mean this in any negative context.  I mean, who has tried like hell to swear off, disvow BDSM like it was some mortal sin.  Tried like hell to fit in with the so called norm of society, but no matter how hard you tried.   The closet door you were trying to keep shut on BDSM, really did not work, things just seemed to ooze out from under the door anyways?

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Wannabe Vanilla - 5/12/2008 3:24:27 AM   
angelslave77


Posts: 478
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		OMG yes, I think I have even used the door metaphor. I found BDSM when I about 19/20 but didnt fully understand and thought it was wrong, so I tried so hard to be normal.8 year nilla marriage 4 kids later and i couldnt hide from it anymore, and looking back over the years all the porn I aquired was BDSM based to some extent my fantasies were always kinky, I was always different and i knew something was missing.
So I started explore the idea again, realised that (for many reasons) my marriage was never going to work and left, and allowed my submissive side to kick in again and I have never been happier or more content

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)
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RE: Wannabe Vanilla - 5/12/2008 6:58:51 AM   
MercTech


Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline 		Gad, I have decades of trying to fit my dodecahedron shaped personallity into a square vanilla hole.  I tried but it didn't satisfy or keep my interest for long.

Stefan

(in reply to angelslave77)
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RE: Wannabe Vanilla - 5/12/2008 7:39:22 AM   
lizcgirl


Posts: 287
Joined: 4/13/2008
Status: offline 		I didn't know the details of BDSM but I knew that I believed there was something 'wrong' with me. I wasn't happy with vanilla relationships- it always felt like there was something missing for me. So I fought it, I threw myself into religion and church and other things to try and 'control' myself and be content with what I believed was acceptable. I was even more miserable and felt worse instead of better. Finally I took a year to myself and really looked at what made me happy, not what others expected of me or what was considered normal. Now I'm happier than ever and I would never consider trying to 'fit in' with those who would condemn me for being happy.

_____________________________

Never make some one a priority when all you are to them is an option.


(in reply to MercTech)
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RE: Wannabe Vanilla - 5/12/2008 8:06:19 AM   
MladyHathor


Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		I think most of us have at one time or another.

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The Mistress Hathor, always and forever, much to the disdain and discomfort of others.

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)
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RE: Wannabe Vanilla - 5/12/2008 8:08:32 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		lizc why do you say that there was someting wrong with you. You just were lost and now your found.

(in reply to MladyHathor)
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RE: Wannabe Vanilla - 5/12/2008 8:23:29 AM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		Lessee, I suppose I sort of played it back when I was...

Like 11.

DV's Fox

(in reply to Dnomyar)
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RE: Wannabe Vanilla - 5/12/2008 8:32:53 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		For the longest time I wondered why I couldn't just be happy like everyone else around me.

Now that I know why I'm not going back to what never worked in the first place anyway.

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to Shawn1066)
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RE: Wannabe Vanilla - 5/12/2008 8:37:07 AM   
abcbsex


Posts: 478
Joined: 3/29/2008
Status: offline 		My last boyfriend wanted me to be more vanilla... to the point where I was dying my hair back to my natural color, buying clothes where I had never shopped before, trying to be "normal". Alpha always jokes that he got me whenever my hair was craziest but it's because he didn't give a rats ass about normal and I could be who I wanted. So he gets to be the one who sees this side of me, the other guy was definitely missing out by refusing to even pull my hair. Trying to be normal made me miserable.



_____________________________

I was trained at MasterLordDarkness' Center for Subs Who Don't Serve Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too.....

but it needed to be at least.... four times bigger.


(in reply to Shawn1066)
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RE: Wannabe Vanilla - 5/12/2008 6:33:13 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline 		What?!?!  You mean we're not normal? Damn ...    I always figured "vanillas" were the ones screwed up in the head and not normal.  

(in reply to abcbsex)
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RE: Wannabe Vanilla - 5/12/2008 7:16:35 PM   
HornyToadsMI


Posts: 287
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		Living in a sorority house with other women.......before I truely discovered my bi side......then Toad set me Free!!!

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i have the best job in the world - my Boss whips me!!!

Go with your gut - yes, I am being a Smart Ass!

(in reply to kallisto)
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RE: Wannabe Vanilla - 5/12/2008 8:58:50 PM   
tag8833


Posts: 67
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline 		I had a very negative expierence with my first sub, and tried to swear off bdsm, but I just couldn't let it go.

(in reply to HornyToadsMI)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Wannabe Vanilla - 5/12/2008 9:05:37 PM   
Othie


Posts: 30
Joined: 3/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave

In the spirit of posts regarding wannabe's...

Who here has ever played the role of a Wannabe Vanilla, I don't mean this in any negative context. I mean, who has tried like hell to swear off, disvow BDSM like it was some mortal sin. Tried like hell to fit in with the so called norm of society, but no matter how hard you tried. The closet door you were trying to keep shut on BDSM, really did not work, things just seemed to ooze out from under the door anyways?




I did that for awhile, more or less. I got scared, hid my profile but ended up finding my thoughts keep drifting back whenever I was off guard or playing with sexual fantasies...finally gave in

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Wannabe Vanilla - 5/12/2008 9:38:05 PM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		I'm just me, there is no lable to describe my wonder.

(in reply to Othie)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Wannabe Vanilla - 5/12/2008 9:56:04 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		Oh... I tried to fit into society for the first 20 or so years of my life.  Never did get the knack of it.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)
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RE: Wannabe Vanilla - 5/12/2008 9:56:06 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		Perfect discriptive for me as well and i bet many others .I too have tried to live a lie then i said screw it and live as me .What can i say i am a bdsm kink fetish freak , a square peg smashed into a triangle hole with a leather clad hammer .

quote:

ORIGINAL: Usako

I'm just me, there is no lable to describe my wonder.

(in reply to Usako)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Wannabe Vanilla - 5/12/2008 10:00:32 PM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

For the longest time I wondered why I couldn't just be happy like everyone else around me.

me too!!  Everyone i knew seemed to be happy and living a 'normal' life.  After my marriage ended when i was 27, which had been my first D/s and kinky relationship,  i thought that i wanted to just live a 'normal' life, like 'everybody' else. i tried and i tried and i met some really wonderful, nonkinky, nondoms, and i should have been very happy with any of them.  But, i was miserable every time, after about 2 or 3 months of living the very borrrring (zzzzzz) and monotonous 'normal' life.  Of course, there was always some 'reason' why it just didn't work out.  It was never because it was the wrong type of relationship. 
 
Then, one night, about 7 years after my marriage ended and having had no involvement in D/s or kink since then, i had a dream about my exhusband and it woke me up and i began to remember what it was that was so good about that relationship and i realized that it was the missing element from all of my subsequent relationships and it was what i needed to be fulfilled and that was i needed to be in a very D/s relationship.  And, bingo, that's what i went back to and that's what i have stayed with and i will never go back to 'normal' again.

quote:

Now that I know why I'm not going back to what never worked in the first place anyway.

me, too!!
 
Edited because i can't subtract.  1985-92 is 7 years (duh).

joy
Owned servant of Master David

< Message edited by slavegirljoy -- 5/12/2008 10:23:25 PM >

(in reply to OmegaG)
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RE: Wannabe Vanilla - 5/12/2008 10:12:07 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Definitely.  My ex husband was convinced that my thoughts were deviant and evil and reflective of mental illness.  For awhile he had me convinced of that, too.  But my inner drive to find the real me led me to where I needed to be.

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Wannabe Vanilla - 5/12/2008 10:15:25 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		Deviant thoughts and actions in an adult consensual way can be a great thing pity he shall now miss out .Nobody should be subjected to that sorry you had to go through that yet it was a part of your journey i somehow i bet your stronger for it now .
best wishes ..

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

Definitely.  My ex husband was convinced that my thoughts were deviant and evil and reflective of mental illness.  For awhile he had me convinced of that, too.  But my inner drive to find the real me led me to where I needed to be.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Wannabe Vanilla - 5/12/2008 10:17:28 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you for your well wishes, azropedntied.  My life is much, much better now.  :)

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to azropedntied)
Profile   Post #: 20
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