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Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 6:26:29 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		So we talk about first meets, and how crucial they are, we talk about getting to know people, and how important it is. I often wonder though - because we hear so little - how many people actually take that step, to meet at that coffee shop, get on the train, drive to that airport. Or how many people when faced with the Everest like task of putting their heart on the line, just freeze up.

Three years ago I met this man in a chat room. He asked me if I wanted to be of service, I answered that I did, and we fell to chatting. Three years of increasingly intensive chatting later .. some serious changes to my attitude and his circumstances and I am 12 days away from being with him for my first visit. We are both waiting for me to implode in a world of panic and dread about this. I came to the realisation today that I think that point has come and gone.

In under two weeks I will finally get to experience what it is like to be on the inside of the dynamic I have always been looking for. One that is healthy, challenging, rewarding, loving and above all that one based on me being owned meat. We both want an honest to god, no shit, real damn deal 24/7 TPE service based, heavy playing, Master slave relationship. My first taste of it will be a very serious interview, which if I dont pass will result in me having a nice holiday, and a good friend, but nothing more.

Now undoubtably I will in some way mess up on my interview. Doubtless I will be a needy and annoying cunt at some stage, or I will unthinkingly do something that just drives him up the wall. No doubt he will hurt my feelings without intending to, or push a button neither of us knew about being a problem. Now for years that going out to him has been an off and on possibility I have been dreading the interview process - the thought of it terrified me ..

Today though, I saw I wasn't scared anymore . . he will either be pleased with the real life me, or he wont. He will either be excited and aroused by me, or he wont. I will either be the type of girl he likes around or I wont be. I will either perform service as he likes it .. or I wont. He will either be the Owner I ahve always wanted, or he will just be a boarsih middle aged man. He will either get right inside my head and blow my mind .. or he wont. It wont be the end of the world and it wont kill either of us if it doesn't work out.

Even though almost three years of chatting, thousands of pounds of phone calls, God only knows how many hundreds of thousands of lines of text or skype minutes has gone into our relationship so far there is nothing magical or mystical about me stepping off that plane in 12 days time. Its like a big expensive date. Nothing to be afraid of, just something to embrace and enjoy and see where it leads. So yeah ok I do get a little goey and romantic about it when I day dream, but my version of goey and romantic is like Hostel .. so dont worry about me too much.

So to all those people worried about getting out there and meeting people, who over blow the importance of a first meet, who agonise about when is the right time to meet/play with/collar/be collared ... just get on-the fuck-with it. Dont let dread and fear of how big and scary it is stop you from actually just getting on with it.

Everest is a mountain, it has been climbed, you have all the equipment to climb it if that is what you really want to do. So, do you really want it, or is it just a nice idea?


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RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 6:30:25 AM   
StormsSlave


Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline 		Softness--

Congratulations, and great attitude.  I think the moment we realize that half of life is the getting up and doing it part, the rest is a whole lot easier to enjoy.  Wrestling with myself is the hardest part of anything, for me, but it sounds like you are in a great place for this.  I hope it goes well, but if not, I hope you have a good time, anyway.

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RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 6:45:21 AM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		I agree that you have a great attitude regarding your first meeting and anything that might ensue, softness. It's best to be positive and hopeful yet without expectations that things will turn out a certain way. It's realistic and healthy. And, btw, imo, they are attractive traits to have and will attract a healthy and realistic mate. To have needs is to be human. To recognize and honor them in ourselves and others is healthy and not at all the same as being needy.

My best wishes to you in your adventure.

_____________________________

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall ,frozen , dead, from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."- D.H. L

" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti



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RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 6:49:53 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		I think my Harris quote is the most telling about where my paradigm is.  I don't want to live in the world of "what ifs".

Though I can understand the trepidation of making a huge investment that can turn sour if you move forward, I really can.  However, what kind of happiness can be gained by continuing to make the investment without moving forward?  Unless hope for the what could bes are what keeps a person going, it becomes unfufilling sooner or later.  It can also build up the hype to such and extent that Batman wouldn't make you happy (most people say Superman, but I prefer the Dark Knight).

I think that you've got a realistic expectation and I wish you a life time of happiness and new experiences.

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Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

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RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 6:57:46 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		Firstly i hope you have a fantastic time and that you pass your interview with flying colours. Good luck.
 
Also i too think your attitude is great and hope i get to where you are at some point. I do think its worth noting though that some of us don't wait (for whatever reasons) for three years before getting out and meeting someone. After three years you should be comfortable with each other anyway. After 3 months which is how long ive waited before agreeing to meet someone its a little different, the level of comfort and knowledge of that person arent the same.
 


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RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 7:05:14 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

 I do think its worth noting though that some of us don't wait (for whatever reasons) for three years before getting out and meeting someone. After three years you should be comfortable with each other anyway. 


I 100% agree with you ... its been far too long for us to have waited, but the reasons for the wait were sound and it is probably best that we did wait until now to step everything up a gear.

I have every confidence that things will go well .. i didn't have that confidence after three months .. and in fact looking back I would have failed the interview if we had done it then.

btw ... nice thread on IC ... Eric with cling film .. too cute!

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





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RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 7:11:34 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Is the grass greener on the other side of the fence. In your case I hope so.  

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RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 7:17:56 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		You must have the patience of Job. 3 years? Wow, I think I'd have a hard time waiting more than 3 weeks.....or maybe 3 days.....

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RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 7:18:27 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

I 100% agree with you ... its been far too long for us to have waited, but the reasons for the wait were sound and it is probably best that we did wait until now to step everything up a gear.

I'd like to say the reasons for putting off my meet are sound but evil paranoia is playing with my head lol. My thread is paranoia my friend really shows it. Its kinda scarey reading it back to myself lol.
 
quote:

I have every confidence that things will go well .. i didn't have that confidence after three months .. and in fact looking back I would have failed the interview if we had done it then.

I'm really really pleased for you.
 
quote:

btw ... nice thread on IC ... Eric with cling film .. too cute!

I couldnt help myself lol. Zak visited with pedro lol so now i just have to wait for erics revenge. 
You were at Erics 60th do werent you being annoyed by the pervy old man? Just checking i have the right person lol.




_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 7:22:41 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		miss .... you have mail!

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veritas, respectus honorque in corio





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RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 7:24:01 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

You must have the patience of Job. 3 years? Wow, I think I'd have a hard time waiting more than 3 weeks.....or maybe 3 days.....


grins .. patience ... kinda ... I think its Him that should be credited with the patience of Job .... and I get this sneaking suspicion that every day I have made Him wait .. is going to be paid by my ass in kind!

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





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RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 7:24:14 AM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		My word but that depresses me on several different levels.

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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 7:26:38 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: batshalom

My word but that depresses me on several different levels.


why so bat?

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proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





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RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 7:44:52 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		I remember the day I first met my Master in person.  I am the type of person that typically shows up early to a meeting.  I had run a map on the internet, got all dressed up, curled my hair - but had no hairspray.

I should have gotten there 20 minutes early but got lost.  My cell phone wasn't working and it took me quite a while to find a pay phone.  I stood there in the December wind and sleet and called the restaurant to let him know that I was going to be late.  I told him that I understood if he didn't want to wait for me.  He told me just to ask for directions and he would wait there.

I had to stop two additional times for directions because each person had mistakenly directed me just a little incorrectly.  I walk in 40 minutes late, hair all bedraggled, and find him on the phone.  Of course, I have not right to complain because I was so late and look like I just crawled in out of the rain.  (Impressive right off the bat, right?)

Oh, it gets worse.  He gets off the phone and things are going pretty well.  I excuse myself to go to the bathroom, check to make sure that the buttons on my dress are still correctly buttoned (because this particular dress has a habit of coming undone) and walk out with a smile on my face.  I climb back up on the stool, and next thing I know he's pulling at the front of my dress and saying "You don't have to undress yet".  I look done and the top button is still done up, but the next three down have all popped open.  Talk about embarrassed!  I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

You two have already built up a relationship, and I think it's wonderful that you finally get to meet.  Remember that you already know this person.  The harder you try to be perfect the more mistakes you'll start to make.  Just be yourself; that's who he likes.  Yes, I was late, but I called and that impressed my Master.  He also liked it that I could make a joke when I was embarrassed by the dress (and later by the necklace that got caught in the bedspread and I couldn't get loose).  Perfection isn't what a Dom or Master is looking for - it's the attitude.

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RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 7:51:37 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		why do ppl make this shit seem so complicated.  Let's throw caution into the wind and wait oh something under a year.

BadOne

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We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

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RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 8:30:00 AM   
charlotteS


Posts: 203
Joined: 3/9/2008
Status: offline 		But softness...if it doesn't work out with you two then you've still got me 

Seriously I am sooo excited for you and am really happy to see that you're feeling good about it.  I promise not to sabotage your interview and kidnap you myself....I swear....

charlotte the innocent


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RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 9:18:05 AM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

quote:

ORIGINAL: batshalom

My word but that depresses me on several different levels.


why so bat?


After three years, all these expectations are built up, all these hopes ... and it is still mostly built on expectation of how the other person feels in person. It could be the worst case of bad chemistry ever. It doesn't help that your eyes look sad in your picture.

~heavy sigh~

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RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 10:06:40 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: charlotteS

But softness...if it doesn't work out with you two then you've still got me 

Seriously I am sooo excited for you and am really happy to see that you're feeling good about it.  I promise not to sabotage your interview and kidnap you myself....I swear....

charlotte the innocent



you realise we have had to rethink all our ideas about a "perfect" first meeting around the fact you will have huggletackled me to the ground and poor Sir will have a writhing pile of girls at his feet in the middle of a busy airport ..

and who says we are not going to kidnap you and send you back to Yorkshire to live a life of tea drinking and Bronte reading!? ... its our Master/slave plan ,,,, mwah hahaha


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proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





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RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 10:08:14 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: batshalom

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

quote:

ORIGINAL: batshalom

My word but that depresses me on several different levels.


why so bat?


After three years, all these expectations are built up, all these hopes ... and it is still mostly built on expectation of how the other person feels in person. It could be the worst case of bad chemistry ever. It doesn't help that your eyes look sad in your picture.

~heavy sigh~


and there I was aiming for sultry "come abuse me" eyes

trust me .. one thing neither of us are worried about is chemistry ... his snoring and my baking yes .,.. sexual chemistry ... no chance

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





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RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 10:08:42 AM   
charlotteS


Posts: 203
Joined: 3/9/2008
Status: offline 		There actually is a small part of me that imagines you might try something just like that.  Maybe Master should get me chipped before he puts me on that train. 

charlotte


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