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RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 5:03:44 PM   
missturbation


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Lmao

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RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 5:04:00 PM   
softness


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From: Leeds, UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirJohnMandevill

How about you, Softness? Was part of the reason for the three-year wait the fact that you were going to him?



In part yes ... but mostly no.

His personal circumstances where in a state of change for most of that time, and as such we were not really in a good place to make a solid beginning. When there were times we could build a good foundation ... I was not in a position to come out there.

A lot of my fears about going out where about it being on "his turf" .. but then i also had them when we were arranging for him to come here.

so .. well ... it was about us both getting our asses in gear, and on the same page

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RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 5:04:24 PM   
DarkVictory


Posts: 247
Joined: 8/7/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

And the aforementioned serial killer... uh... object of her desires checks in.

Cali
(I pays attention, yes I does)




Well poo.  And I'd have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you darned kids.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 5:46:28 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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Three YEARS?  Dang.  And here I am all wheefy because I have to wait six more DAYS to see My man! 

I wish you all the best, Softness, I hope it's utterly brilliant!

And I love the Yorkshire accent, so the place doesn't suck entirely.

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(in reply to DarkVictory)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 7:01:25 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
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Wow. This brings back memories. E-mails, chat conversations, text messages, first across a country, then across Europe. It was a few years back. I'd come back to the UK from Warsaw, moved into a BDSM household with plans of just serving and going through the 'transition'. It didn't work out, but encouraged to keep in touch with my friends back in Poland she wrote me such a long e-mail, and we chatted. I parted amicably with the household and went back to Poland to try out a relationship with her.

There was no flight, as I had an issue about flying then, and so it was a long coach journey. I started in Dover. The Eurolines coach arrived, pulled up. I checked in, passport, documents, luggage, ticket, waited till my bags were put away, climbed aboard the coach. The door closed, the coach pulled away, moved the 500 yards or so across the ferry terminal and came to a halt, waiting for the ferry. As I'm watching the white cliffs of Dover fade towards the horizon and watching the wash churn up the English Channel behind the ferry I felt a sense of release.. the sort you feel when you're heading out on a long journey and a new chapter in life. Nothing to do but curl up in your seat with a good book and keep counting those road markers in the middle of autoroutes and autobahns across Europe.

I've always wondered who gets more nervous - the one doing the travelling or the one doing the waiting?

It's those moments of arrival.. the newness, everything is similar, but different. I was no stranger to Poland, but this was a different part of Poland, the south, different mentality, different language, even the landscape is different. More mountains. A 28 hour coach journey from Dover to Katowice.. Ridiculously small bus station, ridiculously large railway station in a ridiculously small street. No trolleys. Struggle with two bags to the currency exchange office, buy local currency, then to the ticket office. I'm heading south to Zywiec. The last town in Poland before you reach Slovakia. It's an international train to Vienna. Good. It doesn't stop in Zywiec. Oh dear. Change trains in Bielsko-Biala, the last major town.

I'm on the platform. Then it hits you. Oh my God. This is 24/7!!! No way back. Am I crazy? Yes, but like Seal wrote in his song 'But we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy..' But this is what life and living is all about, taking those chances which might never come twice.

Four hours later, in the fading sunshbine of the sunset over the Beskidy mountains which surround Zywiec we meet. We know each other from 'the community', but have never met, until now, and it's the start of a relationship.

That journey back to her apartment was when the reality and truth comes out. But you are tired, disorientated. You look around and all you can see are strangers, everything is new and different. You notice both pigeons and statues in the architecture. Besides, I'm out of synch, having to speak another language. Give me fifteen seconds longer to respond to what you're saying, and though I'm trying to speak the same language as you - Polish, English words will slip out.

This is where the truth really does come out. Lady B was mentored by Lady J who wanted to own me as a slave. Lady B doesn't have any experience, we tried to play but it didn't come out right. All Lady B had learned was Lady J's One True Wayisms. The relationship would have worked but for one small issue - Lady B is hetero, the masculine role in a relationship is anathaema to me. No matter how much you like someone, if it doesn't hang together in the bedroom it just doesn't hang.

But this started a very very close friendship between Domme and sub and I shared with her my theatre and knowledge of BDSM which lifted her out of depression.

The ending was difficult. It came when I came out publicly in the theatre. She was one of the six members of the theatre who walked out when I was removed with immediate effect by the authorities. She spent over a year being ostracized by the town for 'introducing perversion' to the good reputation of the town which numbers 40,000 people. As a result she is banned from all the churches in the diocese. She found solace in the silent minority who remained silent but who were supportive of me and us to the end. She maintains the hardest time was seeing me off onto that train to Oświęcim (Auschwitz) on a platform knee deep in snow never knowing if she would ever see or hear from me again.

But we have been in touch, and there is a happy ending. In the not too distant future she's coming to London for a visit.

It is a wonderful analogy softness, and I myself can vouch for Yorkshire having been brought up in Leeds and Bradford myself.

Everest is just a mountain, but it's worth remembering that it is climbed in stages, slowly, carefully, never being sure of what really lies up above, setting up camps, and taking it one step at a time. But it can always be conquered.

Or as they say in our parts 'if you're going to be hanged for a lamb, might as well steal a sheep'.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed - go for it. Wishing you all the best.

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(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 11:32:05 PM   
summersprite


Posts: 101
Joined: 4/3/2008
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Many years ago, I communicated with a vanilla man online for 2 years before we met. The online chemistry was hot, hot, hot. When we finally met, with high expectations.... I could tell within 5 seconds of him arriving in my hometown that it was never going to happen. Real life chemistry is based on something you can never sense on a computer.... their smell.... and he sure as hell didn't smell right to me ;-) He didn't smell bad, but I felt nothing. We had a platonic weekend together - with me hugging him lots to see if my nose would fall in lust - but sadly no.... and that was the end of that.
 
So now I meet in real life asap ;-) No exceptions.
 
However, for every miserable story like mine, there's one with a happy ending so, best of luck, softness. I hope he is everything you want him to be and vice versa.

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/14/2008 1:48:16 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
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Damn Girl, I hate to break it to you many people have Lost their lives trying to Everest and other mountains, even lost limbs or have become disabled, suffered frost bite and other not so fun things.

Sorry, I just could not resist making the smart ass remark.  Don't take it too seriously.

All in All, I really enjoy your post on this.  It's called not letting fear stand in the way of doing something.   Basically, you accept the risk of rejection or whatever risks you can imagine ahead of time.   Some people spend too much time playing it safe in the comfort of their day to day life.

Nothing ventured is nothing gained.  

  

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/14/2008 3:06:16 AM   
Evility


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Joined: 12/19/2007
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Three years and 9000 miles. Which one of you is moving if this pans out? I could barely wait the three weeks that passed before we met and that was only two hundred miles. I'll bet we haven't driven 9K miles between the two of us in the two and a half years we have been together. I'm glad for you and I hope it works out in every way you wish it to but for me if I can wait three years to meet someone... I don't need them in my life too badly.

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/14/2008 3:30:58 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Evility

Three years and 9000 miles. Which one of you is moving if this pans out? I could barely wait the three weeks that passed before we met and that was only two hundred miles. I'll bet we haven't driven 9K miles between the two of us in the two and a half years we have been together. I'm glad for you and I hope it works out in every way you wish it to but for me if I can wait three years to meet someone... I don't need them in my life too badly.


With the price of gas these days, it's gonna be cheaper to move in together!

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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/14/2008 1:55:55 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkVictory

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

And the aforementioned serial killer... uh... object of her desires checks in.

Cali
(I pays attention, yes I does)




Well poo.  And I'd have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you darned kids.





Yep - those kids see all, and tell all. hope the two of you "smell" right  to each other.(smiles)  Oh to be young and in love   ...   er , lust    ....    er, blood lust     ....   er, something!!! 

(in reply to DarkVictory)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/14/2008 2:04:32 PM   
daddysliloneds


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Joined: 6/28/2006
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i'm sorry that 'real life' sucks sometimes and you didn't want to hear it, yet it still happened to someone with a story much like yours; me.

perhaps next time you should post a disclaimer that only people cheering you on should post to your thread.

i did tell you good luck through, and i meant it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

three years and you haven't met yet?  reminds me of me, a long, long, long time ago...

invested two years of my time, doing the same crap you mention, only to fly out there and know in the first five minutes, i didn't like anything about the man, and, i was stuck there for ten days of hell! 

we didn't walk away friends; as a matter of fact, he was the non-consensual sadist type, so i didn't walk away...

i was 'found'; and by the time i was brought home, i couldn't talk, couldn't walk, and literally kissed the ground at my home airport, crying and thankful to be alive...

i would have rather climed everest, thank you very much!

good luck on your venture though!


nothing like a happy anecdote to cheer me on my way!

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/14/2008 4:11:14 PM   
DarkVictory


Posts: 247
Joined: 8/7/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

i'm sorry that 'real life' sucks sometimes and you didn't want to hear it, yet it still happened to someone with a story much like yours; me.

perhaps next time you should post a disclaimer that only people cheering you on should post to your thread.

i did tell you good luck through, and i meant it.




"Real life" never sucks, it just is what it is.  Humans are the ones that add all the drama and hysteria, all the sturm und drang.

Fred: "Happy Birthday, Robert!"
Bob: "Oh thank you, I'm just so happy"
DQ: "You know, not to rain on your parade or anything, and I *am* happy that you are having a great birthday,
    but once, when I was seven, my mom DIED on my birthday... and DIED right in my CAKE.  And later,
    when the paramedics came, one of them stepped on my PUPPY and KILLED her.  And then he SLIPPED,
    and BROKE his BACK.  Then the HOUSE caught FIRE.  And we ALL DIED....  but anyway, happy birthday,
    but you can see how I am leery of them."  *smile*



(in reply to daddysliloneds)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/14/2008 6:54:24 PM   
daddysliloneds


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okay then, i did rain on her parade, and you'll just both have to get over it now won't you.

(in reply to DarkVictory)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/14/2008 7:40:14 PM   
angelic


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Joined: 1/24/2005
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~fr~ I think there is something to be said for a bit of caution, especially when dealing with online.  I think you have a wonderful healthy outlook on a first meet.  However, three years online is a long time.  I sincerely hope that it is everything you hope it to be.  We have many lessons in life for a variety of reasons.

Not to be a downer, but a couple of things to consider for both of you.

Have either of you lead one or the other to believe something about you that maybe isn't completely honest?  As an example, during the three years have either of you lost or gained weight that you failed to mention to the other one?  Lost or gained hair?  Things that one would never know by being only online. 

Another example of a long-term internet relationship going real, gone bad:  Friend X is submissive and in love with Dom Z (they have never met real life) been together for going on two years.  Finally decided it was time to meet... he lived in Europe, she lived in the states.  She flew to Europe and he just plain forgot to meet her at the airport.

All I am saying is have fun, but keep your eyes and heart wide open.

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 54
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