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RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 10:13:04 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
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From: Leeds, UK
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dont pretend that you dont like the idea of being sent back to England in my place and living the rest of your life as Heathcliff's personal fuck meat

and besides ... we promised we would play nice with you ... you are protecting me from The Rock Of Evil remember ... you will be perfectly safe.

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proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to charlotteS)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 10:27:42 AM   
MladyHathor


Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
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I think your analogy is a very good one as long as people realize it isnt pink and purple with unicorns flitting about and cherubic cupids just waiting---its got rocks, cliffs, cold, rain, winds, bugs and its straight up--that't the reality--and anywhere along the way you could fall, sprain something, run out of air, or realize this was way bigger than you thought it was and you  need to go back and regroup.
 
Now if you make it to the top---then check and make sure the view you BOTH see is in synch.  Good luck, is sounds like two level headed people are going to take a step--keep those heads level and your chances to succeed are greater.

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(in reply to softness)
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RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 12:04:23 PM   
spinninsweetness


Posts: 477
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From: London
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Softness good luck, hope it goes well and ends well for you....

Never having been at the stage of a first meet before, until this weekend, I'm still nervous and trippy too. Mind you, we've only been chatting for a month!



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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 12:55:24 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
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three years and you haven't met yet?  reminds me of me, a long, long, long time ago...

invested two years of my time, doing the same crap you mention, only to fly out there and know in the first five minutes, i didn't like anything about the man, and, i was stuck there for ten days of hell! 

we didn't walk away friends; as a matter of fact, he was the non-consensual sadist type, so i didn't walk away...

i was 'found'; and by the time i was brought home, i couldn't talk, couldn't walk, and literally kissed the ground at my home airport, crying and thankful to be alive...

i would have rather climed everest, thank you very much!

good luck on your venture though!

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 1:07:53 PM   
Prinsexx


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quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

So we talk about first meets, and how crucial they are, we talk about getting to know people, and how important it is. I often wonder though - because we hear so little - how many people actually take that step, to meet at that coffee shop, get on the train, drive to that airport. Or how many people when faced with the Everest like task of putting their heart on the line, just freeze up.

Three years ago I met this man in a chat room. He asked me if I wanted to be of service, I answered that I did, and we fell to chatting. Three years of increasingly intensive chatting later .. some serious changes to my attitude and his circumstances and I am 12 days away from being with him for my first visit. We are both waiting for me to implode in a world of panic and dread about this. I came to the realisation today that I think that point has come and gone.

In under two weeks I will finally get to experience what it is like to be on the inside of the dynamic I have always been looking for. One that is healthy, challenging, rewarding, loving and above all that one based on me being owned meat. We both want an honest to god, no shit, real damn deal 24/7 TPE service based, heavy playing, Master slave relationship. My first taste of it will be a very serious interview, which if I dont pass will result in me having a nice holiday, and a good friend, but nothing more.

Now undoubtably I will in some way mess up on my interview. Doubtless I will be a needy and annoying cunt at some stage, or I will unthinkingly do something that just drives him up the wall. No doubt he will hurt my feelings without intending to, or push a button neither of us knew about being a problem. Now for years that going out to him has been an off and on possibility I have been dreading the interview process - the thought of it terrified me ..

Today though, I saw I wasn't scared anymore . . he will either be pleased with the real life me, or he wont. He will either be excited and aroused by me, or he wont. I will either be the type of girl he likes around or I wont be. I will either perform service as he likes it .. or I wont. He will either be the Owner I ahve always wanted, or he will just be a boarsih middle aged man. He will either get right inside my head and blow my mind .. or he wont. It wont be the end of the world and it wont kill either of us if it doesn't work out.

Even though almost three years of chatting, thousands of pounds of phone calls, God only knows how many hundreds of thousands of lines of text or skype minutes has gone into our relationship so far there is nothing magical or mystical about me stepping off that plane in 12 days time. Its like a big expensive date. Nothing to be afraid of, just something to embrace and enjoy and see where it leads. So yeah ok I do get a little goey and romantic about it when I day dream, but my version of goey and romantic is like Hostel .. so dont worry about me too much.

So to all those people worried about getting out there and meeting people, who over blow the importance of a first meet, who agonise about when is the right time to meet/play with/collar/be collared ... just get on-the fuck-with it. Dont let dread and fear of how big and scary it is stop you from actually just getting on with it.

Everest is a mountain, it has been climbed, you have all the equipment to climb it if that is what you really want to do. So, do you really want it, or is it just a nice idea?


Fuck me softness
That blew me away.
I think you have real courage honey.
I pray for you that it will blow your mind and that he will get inside your head and be THE ONE. But most of all I hope it is reciprocal.
Love and hugs.
Prin xx



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(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 1:42:27 PM   
patientsub0


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I wanted to wish you the very best outcome and much happiness!  I think your essay was beautifully written.  Thanks for sharing it.

Just remember this... mountaineering is dangerous business; Everest is spectacularly so, the huge numbers of summits made feasible only by commercial assistance notwithstanding. 

I don't think your meet will be quite so daunting, although it may feel that way right now!  Good luck. :)


(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 2:57:37 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
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I wish you the best of luck and romance at your meet.  Its a lovely thing to be doing, and i hope you are a perfect fit. (smiles)

My first meet with my Sir was interesting - we met in Barnes and Noble, a big bookstore. I was too nervous to stay in the cafe - where i said i would be, so i wandered the book racks. I got a phone call from Sir, slightly irate, asking where i was.I had to rush over and apologise- and thought  he was more weathered than i had thought - and his glasses were awful.  About a month later, i couldn't conceive of living without him, and he had new glasses (grins).

Good things happen to people all the time, we just never hear about them - please let us know how things go.

(in reply to patientsub0)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 3:02:21 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

three years and you haven't met yet?  reminds me of me, a long, long, long time ago...

invested two years of my time, doing the same crap you mention, only to fly out there and know in the first five minutes, i didn't like anything about the man, and, i was stuck there for ten days of hell! 

we didn't walk away friends; as a matter of fact, he was the non-consensual sadist type, so i didn't walk away...

i was 'found'; and by the time i was brought home, i couldn't talk, couldn't walk, and literally kissed the ground at my home airport, crying and thankful to be alive...

i would have rather climed everest, thank you very much!

good luck on your venture though!


nothing like a happy anecdote to cheer me on my way!

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to daddysliloneds)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 3:13:54 PM   
charlotteS


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Joined: 3/9/2008
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*hugs softness*

Don't worry, you've got big, bad scary me to take care of you.


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RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 3:26:16 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
and besides .. after three years .. I *KNOW* He is a brutal non-consensual sadist ...

EXACTLY what I have always wanted .. you think I would travel 9000 miles for something that I could get in Yorkshire?

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to charlotteS)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 3:30:42 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
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I love firsts.
first mail.
first telephone call.
first meet.
first smack.
first crop.
first fuck.
I find as the going gets going the going gets harder.
By the time I'm third kiss, fourth fuck, three months down the line etc. I'm edgy, weary, tetchy, bored, anxious, stifled.....
for me it IS like climbing Everest: the air gets rarer the longer I keep going and I'm sick and tired and just want to absail back down, bail out, jump off the edge and get out as quickly as possible.
I guess it's a combination of the thrill of a first and not having met the One.
It's a bit addictive for me that first encounter.......not a safe space I know......



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Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
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To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to charlotteS)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 3:31:19 PM   
Bound2One


Posts: 614
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Softness, I really enjoy the way you write, and the message you sent with this post.  Thanks for sharing.  And I hope that mountain turns out to be everything you want it to be - gooey and mushy or Hostel.  lol  Just get the fuck on with it ....

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 3:32:47 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness
you think I would travel 9000 miles for something that I could get in Yorkshire?

I can empathise about Yorkshire though.............


_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 3:43:27 PM   
TysGalilah


Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
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[Today though, I saw I wasn't scared anymore . . he will either be pleased with the real life me, or he wont. He will either be excited and aroused by me, or he wont. I will either be the type of girl he likes around or I wont be. I will either perform service as he likes it .. or I wont. He will either be the Owner I ahve always wanted, or he will just be a boarsih middle aged man. He will either get right inside my head and blow my mind .. or he wont. It wont be the end of the world and it wont kill either of us if it doesn't work out. ]

Softness
I realize we don't know each other and so my response is probably going to seem "too familiar"...but I just had to respond exactly as I felt when I read these words above, and so>
 
    Way ta'go gal!!
 
I love your attitude
and I hope you find whatever makes you both happy...
 
Cyndi
 




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galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 3:56:10 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness
you think I would travel 9000 miles for something that I could get in Yorkshire?

I can empathise about Yorkshire though.............



gah .. tell me!

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 4:04:33 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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I try to fight against the paranoia and over expectations people get around first meets.  But little to be done though.  Too many people acting like a lack of safecall means certain death and only wanting that locked cold steel on their neck before nightfall when they meet.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 4:41:16 PM   
SirJohnMandevill


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

I 100% agree with you ... its been far too long for us to have waited, but the reasons for the wait were sound and it is probably best that we did wait until now to step everything up a gear.



Question for the group: Are submissives/slaves more likely to wait longer to meet a Dominant/Master/Mistress if they face traveling to his/her turf?

I pressed to meet my submissive lady in person after only a couple months of chatting on CM. She agreed -- the meeting was in her city -- and our relationship has been extraordinary (!!!!!) since then. (I'm making my third visit at the end of the month.) But I wonder how long we'd have waited if I'd insisted she come to me.

How about you, Softness? Was part of the reason for the three-year wait the fact that you were going to him?

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

_____________________________

Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 4:52:40 PM   
patientsub0


Posts: 8
Joined: 11/25/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Question for the group: Are submissives/slaves more likely to wait longer to meet a Dominant/Master/Mistress if they face traveling to his/her turf?

For me personally, no.  Back when I was actively searching, I felt that meeting the person should take place as soon as feasible.  Because I travel extensively anyway, it was always easier for me to go there than the other way around.

I need to see someone face-to-face before I can realistically evaluate chemistry, but that's personal preference.


(in reply to SirJohnMandevill)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 4:58:22 PM   
DarkVictory


Posts: 247
Joined: 8/7/2004
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Unimaginable, utterly insipid.  I can't imagine for a moment the notion of waiting three years for a piece of ass.
Jesus christ, who is this guy, a moron?  And an abuser as well?  Hell, even *I* could do better than that....

or something.  :)

(context is everything)

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Looking at Everest .. and seeing its just a mountain - 5/13/2008 5:00:38 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
And the aforementioned serial killer... uh... object of her desires checks in.

Cali
(I pays attention, yes I does)


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Profile   Post #: 40
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