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She is a bitch - 5/14/2008 10:27:36 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I have seen this on a number of threads.  "She is a bitch"  "My ex is a bitch."  "His ex wife is a bitch"

I have been around a while.  I think in my life I have met maybe.. 2 women I would classify as genuine bitches.  I am pretty sure one of them was bi-polar, as she occasionally had good days.  And the other just loved being unpleasant.  These were the type of women who would call the cops if you parked in the public space in front of their house.  Or would have screaming matches with someone if they dared to disagree.  And good grief.. the frivolous lawsuits were yearly events.  In general people walked on egg shells around them, if they dared to come near them at all.  And they would be well known around town for their bitchiness.  I would call those women genuine bitches because if 9 of 10 people share that opinion, it is probably true.

But I often see people refer to their ex, or his ex, or her ex, as a bitch.  Why?  Very few people I have met are jackasses.  Most people have pleasant and unpleasant sides.  Everyone I know has a reason to not be so nice to someone (unless you internalize it).  My thought is that if someone refers to their ex as a bitch.. how do you know that if you are with them, someday you might be "that bitch"?

Do you ever pay attention to how someone might refer to their ex and take a step back?  Or do you accept that everything said is the truth and of course THAT woman must be a bitch?
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

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RE: She is a bitch - 5/14/2008 10:40:03 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		If you met my ex that would be the third woman you would classify as a certified bitch. That aside. Who you would calssify as a bitch to someone else they would  be a great friend.  

(in reply to Missokyst)
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RE: She is a bitch - 5/14/2008 10:50:01 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I always wonder what he did to turn her into a bitch!

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Dnomyar)
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RE: She is a bitch - 5/14/2008 10:56:09 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		I'd say that they are exes for a reason and generally the reasons aren't pleasant.  Breakups are hardly ever dignified and they tend to bring the worst out of people.  So from the raw emotion perspective, the exes are bitches.

Now, my ex called me a bitch the last time he was in my house and he was right, I was a bitch at that moment and proud of it, then again, if I'd stood up to him 19 years ago like I did just recently our lives might have taken a different path.

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to KatyLied)
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RE: She is a bitch - 5/14/2008 11:00:02 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I saw the thread title and thought you were calling me out.  When my ex tries to push my buttons, and yes, succeeds more often that I like to admit, I become a person that I don't like very much.  People think I can be sarcastic and a bit cutting here, but holy cow, you ain't seen nothing till you've seen me and the ex! 

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to OmegaG)
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RE: She is a bitch - 5/14/2008 11:13:09 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		Many only fall for bitches. Not sweet wittle girls like me!




_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to CalifChick)
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RE: She is a bitch - 5/14/2008 11:14:10 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Many only fall for bitches. Not sweet wittle girls like me!





*cough*


_____________________________

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TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

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RE: She is a bitch - 5/14/2008 11:34:24 AM   
LadyRainfire


Posts: 6040
Joined: 2/20/2008
Status: offline 		I know for a fact that I have my times when yes, I can be a right royal bitch. Especially around my ex-inlaw's. Otherwise they just stomp right over me and treat me like dirt. Likewise my ex won't do a thing he says he will unless I stand up and get "forceful". I've also worked in jobs where I had to be strong and take charge of the situation (EMT, customer service, manager, legal, things like that) so it's part of who I am. I'm not always a bitch though and sometimes I'm seen as a bitch when I'm not. People mistake my quietness, solitude, shyness and formality as being bitchy. (holly, watch yer mouth here!) Nope, nothing further from the truth - I just don't know what the heck to say and don't want to push where I'm not wanted while making assumptions.

As for making assumptions, no, I try not to. I try to keep an open mind until I can see things for myself. However, if someone I trust and love, somone who has never lied to me or given me any reason whatsoever to doubt them, says so and so said or did something bitchy or horrible, I have no reason to doubt them, thus colouring my perception of that person. But they can always show me they are better than that and earn my respect. It just may take a little longer. The flip side is that it will take a lot shorter time to lose what little they may have had...

(edited to add a missing word.... *sigh*)

< Message edited by LadyRainfire -- 5/14/2008 11:35:40 AM >

_____________________________

"Desire is an insatiable beast. Sample your strongest dreams, and you will only crave more." ~ Master

~ one half of "L&L"~

My current state of mind

(in reply to sirsholly)
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RE: She is a bitch - 5/14/2008 11:35:21 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

I saw the thread title and thought you were calling me out.  When my ex tries to push my buttons, and yes, succeeds more often that I like to admit, I become a person that I don't like very much.  People think I can be sarcastic and a bit cutting here, but holy cow, you ain't seen nothing till you've seen me and the ex! 

Cali



You hit on something I relate to.  For a long time my ex was bringing out someone in me who I didn't like very much.  Since having to sit through negotiations with him, my Master coached me on keeping my cool while still not taking shit from him and that helped greatlyl.  Until then, I would leave our interactions not liking myself at all.

I have known a few people whom I thought were bitches.  Most, when getting to know them, were not bitches at all, but were behaving as a result of issues going on in their lives or were misrepresenting themselves.  Off the top of my head, I can only think of one person I really think poorly of, and I tend to think of her as a cunt, rather than a bitch. 

A lot of people hate my ex.   I've heard him referred to as every name in the book (my mother refers to him as "the disease").   He's a sociopath, and that's what I refer to him as.  Sociopathic people tend to not be very kind to others around them. 

I know there are people who think I'm a bitch.  Of course I think they're misinformed. 

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to CalifChick)
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RE: She is a bitch - 5/14/2008 11:35:30 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		LOL I almost fell out of my chair too.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Many only fall for bitches. Not sweet wittle girls like me!





*cough*



_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: She is a bitch - 5/14/2008 11:42:39 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I honestly do not see that as being a bitch.  You both were reacting to circumstance.  One does something, someone does something else, and between the two, you have bad energy.

My ex husband was not good for me.  I tend to internalize anger so I could not be a bitch to him.  Instead, I got hives because I could not speak up.  But, my ex-husbands second wife often referred to me as the bitch.  I have no idea what he told her about us, but lol it was clear it was not good. 
I detested my ex-husband, but tried to keep that from my friends and family.
Interestingly, when wife number two became his new ex, he referred to me as his good ex wife and her as the bitch.  And having spoken to his wife #3, I know she referred to his wife 2 as the bitch.  I don't know about wife #4, as we only met once.
Kyst



quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

I saw the thread title and thought you were calling me out.  When my ex tries to push my buttons, and yes, succeeds more often that I like to admit, I become a person that I don't like very much.  People think I can be sarcastic and a bit cutting here, but holy cow, you ain't seen nothing till you've seen me and the ex! 

Cali



_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: She is a bitch - 5/14/2008 11:46:38 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I don't see standing up for yourself as being a bitch.. I see it as self preservation. 
It does make me wonder what your ex thought of himself during those times, and now.
I have been angry, I can now mostly stand up for myself.  But I rarely say I was a bitch, or my ex was a bastard because it was the circumstance which made us act as we did.  He may have saw me as a bitch,  his wife number two may have saw me as a bitch, but really, I was just fine with everyone else. 
Maybe circumstance is the bitch?
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG
if I'd stood up to him 19 years ago like I did just recently our lives might have taken a different path.


_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: She is a bitch - 5/14/2008 11:54:02 AM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline
quote:

I always wonder what he did to turn her into a bitch!


Yep. But this is not the core of it for me.
One of the most important questions i ask someone i am considering going out with is, 'tell me about your ex(es)'
They think, 'she wants to hear that i am not carrying a torch - that i won't go back to her, that it is over.'
Not really. I don't mind if you are grieving, as long as you are far enough along to be ready to move on.
What i want to hear is - do you have issues left with him/her? do you have issues with women in general.
Here's a clue - if the last 10 women you dated were bitches who took you for a ride - the only thing they have in common is YOU. i need to think twice about going out with you. because, to be honest, if it is several of them in a row, no, i do not belive the common factor is that you only pick out bitches. i believe you see women as bitches, turn women into bitches, or fail to take responsibility for your own behavior.
What do i want to hear to 'tell me about your ex?' how about, 'lovely woman, really - if she wasn't, i wouldn't have fallen for her, right? but, we didn't work out together. at least as much my fault as hers. i hope i've learned something from that. i hope you don't want to know more - i don't like to talk out of school about her.' then i'm sold, right then and there.

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: She is a bitch - 5/14/2008 12:21:08 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Oh hell yes! 
I would take a step back if someone I was interested in referred to an ex as a bitch.  I would step back and want to know if that is how  he saw all his ex's before I could get closer to him. 
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske


Here's a clue - if the last 10 women you dated were bitches who took you for a ride - the only thing they have in common is YOU. i need to think twice about going out with you. because, to be honest, if it is several of them in a row, no, i do not belive the common factor is that you only pick out bitches. i believe you see women as bitches, turn women into bitches, or fail to take responsibility for your own behavior.
What do i want to hear to 'tell me about your ex?' how about, 'lovely woman, really - if she wasn't, i wouldn't have fallen for her, right? but, we didn't work out together. at least as much my fault as hers. i hope i've learned something from that. i hope you don't want to know more - i don't like to talk out of school about her.' then i'm sold, right then and there.

(in reply to tsatske)
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RE: She is a bitch - 5/14/2008 12:48:47 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline
quote:

My thought is that if someone refers to their ex as a bitch.. how do you know that if you are with them, someday you might be "that bitch"?

Do you ever pay attention to how someone might refer to their ex and take a step back? Or do you accept that everything said is the truth and of course THAT woman must be a bitch?


I don't have good filters when it comes to relationships, and this is one issue I realize I need to pay attention to.  Yeah, ex's are ex's for a reason, but if the person is still angry at their ex's and can't distance themselves from it and look at it quasi-objectively, chances are we're emotionally incompatible.  Its not that I worry about it coming back to me at a later date (though I recognize that it will) but that I don't operate that way and can't sympathize.  Pretty much everyone I've been with have a place somewhere in my heart, even the one who still carries a vendetta against me and I kind of expect everyone to be that way.  In my mind, at some point you have to just have to say "we just weren't good for each other" and chalk it up to experience with no hard feelings.  Anything else seems irrational.

I guess I want to focus on making good memories and not bad ones.


_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to Missokyst)
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RE: She is a bitch - 5/14/2008 1:11:31 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

...I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way...Meredith Brooks


this slave believes we all have "that bitch" potential, and it isn't necessarily a bad thing.
 
to be that way all the time, to everyone, however, would be an incredibly awful existence and this slave hasn't met anyone that qualifies, under that description.
 
some have come close, though!!!

(in reply to Missokyst)
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RE: She is a bitch - 5/14/2008 1:46:13 PM   
subdevra


Posts: 37
Joined: 3/28/2008
Status: offline 		and one person's "bitch" is the next person's sweet little submissive.
actually i think "bitch" is probably one of the nicest things my soon to be ex would like to call me.

devra

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: She is a bitch - 5/14/2008 2:01:30 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		I hate the world today
You're so good to me
I know but I can't change
tried to tell you but you look at me like maybe I'm an angel
underneath
innocent and sweet
Yesterday I cried
You must have been relieved to see the softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
all rolled into one

Chorus:
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your health, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

So take me as I am
This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous
and I'm going to extremes
tomorrow I will change
and today won't mean a thing

Chorus

Just when you think you've got me figured out
the season's already changing
I think it's cool you do what you do
and don't try to save me

Chorus

I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
when you hurt, when you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numbed, I'm revived
can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to subdevra)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: She is a bitch - 5/14/2008 2:23:09 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		I know this may be hard to believe but I didn't make all the best choices as a new sub. I got with this Dom that called his ex a bitch and still talked in anger. They had been divorced for 20 years. he also said to me,"All the women I have been with go crazy,likely you will too." Guess what, he did bring it out in me too. i was a bitch as I pounced on him for hurting my wrist and then calling me a liar and a baby for calling yellow. yes, I was a bitch as he called me names including insane as stupid. Until i fled from his house while he was yelling to me to "fuck off and die." The man was 50. Too old to act like that. But then again, so was I .

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: She is a bitch - 5/14/2008 2:31:31 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I have seen this on a number of threads.  "She is a bitch"  "My ex is a bitch."  "His ex wife is a bitch"

I have been around a while.  I think in my life I have met maybe.. 2 women I would classify as genuine bitches.  I am pretty sure one of them was bi-polar, as she occasionally had good days.  And the other just loved being unpleasant.  These were the type of women who would call the cops if you parked in the public space in front of their house.  Or would have screaming matches with someone if they dared to disagree.  And good grief.. the frivolous lawsuits were yearly events.  In general people walked on egg shells around them, if they dared to come near them at all.  And they would be well known around town for their bitchiness.  I would call those women genuine bitches because if 9 of 10 people share that opinion, it is probably true.

But I often see people refer to their ex, or his ex, or her ex, as a bitch.  Why?  Very few people I have met are jackasses.  Most people have pleasant and unpleasant sides.  Everyone I know has a reason to not be so nice to someone (unless you internalize it).  My thought is that if someone refers to their ex as a bitch.. how do you know that if you are with them, someday you might be "that bitch"?

Do you ever pay attention to how someone might refer to their ex and take a step back?  Or do you accept that everything said is the truth and of course THAT woman must be a bitch?
Kyst



Has anyone else noticed that nice people usually know nice people, and angry people know angry people, and caring people know caring sorts, and so on and so on.

We tend to see in others what we see in ourselves.

Myself , for example, know a lot of really rich, super intelligent, humble, compassionate, over-achieving, and humerous people - who like to read, and quilt.    Go figure!

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 20
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