RE: Finding a 24/7 lifestyle Domme

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Finding a 24/7 lifestyle Domme

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Finding a 24/7 lifestyle Domme

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Finding a 24/7 lifestyle Domme - 5/16/2008 4:16:33 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HieroV

You’ve actually gotten some good advice here – especially from Tammy Jo who I feel was not being a bitch at all – and some who enjoyed pissing on your head.

Thank you.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to HieroV)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Finding a 24/7 lifestyle Domme - 5/16/2008 4:47:57 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HieroV

You’ve actually gotten some good advice here – especially from Tammy Jo who I feel was not being a bitch at all – and some who enjoyed pissing on your head.

Yes, Tammyjo's advice was good, but nobody pissed on anyone's head. There are some of us that actually think the way to meet people is to go out and meet them. Guess how many kinky people are at lifestyle events?

Pretty much all of them who are in attendance.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Finding a 24/7 lifestyle Domme - 5/16/2008 5:01:57 PM

HieroV

Posts: 39
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: HieroV

You’ve actually gotten some good advice here – especially from Tammy Jo who I feel was not being a bitch at all – and some who enjoyed pissing on your head.

Yes, Tammyjo's advice was good, but nobody pissed on anyone's head. There are some of us that actually think the way to meet people is to go out and meet them. Guess how many kinky people are at lifestyle events?

Pretty much all of them who are in attendance.

Hi,

Nowhere in my post do I say you shouldn't attend events/munches, etc. I actually encourage it in other posts of mine. There was a year or two in which I went to one or two D/S group meetings a week and I still do from time to time. (I went to two munches and a demo last month. I attended Dark Odyseey in DC about a month ago - had a lot of fun over three days. Fire play rocks!)

I've been in four D/S relationships in my life. Made first contact with all of them first online. The dominant woman who gave the demo last week has been in the scene for some thirty odd years. She has played with people at clubs but never had a relationship with anyone she hadn't met first online. It wasn't her plan - it just worked out that way.

And I guess we can agree to disagree...I thought some of the responses were rude.

HieroV

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Finding a 24/7 lifestyle Domme - 5/16/2008 5:22:39 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Well, you have Me on one point. Fire play does rock. Had to have My maiden scene with it this past weekend. I got inspired by two demos on it that I attended back to back.

Let Me go back to why I say My answer isn't pissing on anyone.

Lots of folks meet online. I happened across My current sub that way because he stumbled into a chat room where a group of us were discussing our plans to be at a club the following evening. When he asked if he could attend along with us, I said sure (public club, btw) but I didn't really think much of it. I'm sure you know how that goes. Many people say they want to become active in some way, but a lot of them are just wasting time in front of the computer, talking about things they will never do.

It's for this very reason that I quite often feel badly for male subs. It's because of the time wasters and game players within their own group, that the deck is stacked against them. A lot of the Dominant females will not put in the time investment to meet anyone *just* online, because it is easier to meet people who show up r/t. Notice, I didn't say all, but I tend to think it's a signifigant number.

Since the OP is obviously here, and looking 'online', the next logical suggestion, is to attempt meeting people r/t.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to HieroV)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Finding a 24/7 lifestyle Domme - 5/16/2008 5:54:33 PM

HieroV

Posts: 39
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Let Me go back to why I say My answer isn't pissing on anyone.

It's for this very reason that I quite often feel badly for male subs. It's because of the time wasters and game players within their own group, that the deck is stacked against them. A lot of the Dominant females will not put in the time investment to meet anyone *just* online, because it is easier to meet people who show up r/t. Notice, I didn't say all, but I tend to think it's a signifigant number.

Since the OP is obviously here, and looking 'online', the next logical suggestion, is to attempt meeting people r/t.

Well first - let me make it clear I did not think your response was one of the rude ones.

I can see the logic of what you say - and this is how I see it from my expereince and my side of the fence. Not that I am right or you are wrong - just my expereince.

There may be as many game players and time wasters in the female dominant camp as there is in the male sub camp. I’ve encountered a good number of many rude and narcissistic ladies out there and online. (Still do.) Also, I tend to look for a specific thing – a possible lasting relationship or at least not just a one or two night stand. Clubs are not very conducive to that.

The women I have had relationships with were all very private and with one exception - would rarely play in public or at all. They did not feel comfortable risking being exposed somehow because they were a school teacher for example at a grade school or for some other personal or work-related reason. Or they were just "shy."

Most women I have met (not all) in public D/S gatherings are not looking for a lasting relationship or are already part of a couple. (Or a triad, as the case may be.) May have been bad luck on my part but that has been my experience. I have made a number of friendships and learned some things/had some questions answered from attending those meetings and that has been good.

Until recently I was too shy for public play. I've changed my mind a bit on that (Fire Play!) - but I am still mostly a private person in terms of this.

HieroV

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Finding a 24/7 lifestyle Domme - 5/16/2008 6:18:41 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

What you say is perfectly true, as far as people wasting time from both camps. I have My own opinions about how often that occurs right here. You may have had better luck in the private only sector than I have. Personally, I won't do private play for the first scene together anymore. I just don't think it's as safe as having a first round at a public setting.

The other positive about meeting up with someone that the first introduction to is online is, if they don't show, you still get to enjoy whatever event you planned to meet at.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to HieroV)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Finding a 24/7 lifestyle Domme - 5/16/2008 8:24:34 PM

MissEnchanted

Posts: 510
Status: offline

Lady P: I didn't think you were rude at all, just informative.

There were a bunch of great responses and although a few people were blunt, the information was still right-on.

Re: Getting what you 'wish for' or 'desire' as a sub.
Personally I love slaves. They will get their basic needs met and for the rest....what they wish for may not be in the plan. Big difference between needs and 'wishes' and subs need to be clear by knowing themselves and knowing what they need.

Then: Good communication skills are the road to glory.
Otherwise it is hard work for a domme to get a sub trained. Been there, done that: No fun.

Know thyself, learn the things that make you desirable in the eyes of a good domme. This site is filled with threads on that subject.

It was through the local scene that I met my current service slave and we are very happy. I am polyamorous (can love more than one person at a time) so I am still open to others to join my small stable. I am looking for a woman, local only. Why have women been so hard to find? Rhetorical question of course...

Online hook-ups have been fun, stressful, and overwhelming. I did make some lifelong friends from this site including subs, Dommes and Doms, switches, CDs etc. But it was hard work and time consuming.

The real time local scene has been the place for me to make some really wonderful friends, and attend all kinds of parties. We do vanilla things together also and have a blast knowing that things we are doing in public are secret and really known only to us.

My slave wears my collar in public. It is a fat silver chain, so only lifestyle people would recognize it and him and what he lives for.
I digress.

Best of luck to the OP to find what your heart, etc seeks.

This lifestyle rocks and I am happier than I have ever been.

ME

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 27