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Wannabe's Vs Nevagonnabes - 5/15/2008 11:42:32 AM   
BlackPhx


Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline 		OK, nothing worse than a Master who crawls out of bed at 4:30 AM..and has time to wake up before you do at 7 am, thereby being far more alert and ready for an intellectual conversation while you are still trying to find the coffee. What started the discussion this morning was a profile on CM of a Submissive (self identified) that was basically a diatribe against what she did not consider dominants and proper behavior or contact from them and Wannabes. Well everyone is entitled to their opinion and to make clear what they are or are not seeking and trust me neither he nor I have a problems with that. Where the biggest problem came in (besides a mixed message she was giving) was the term Wannabe. So...you guessed it I am off and running.

Wannabe a term that is often used on the net to denote someone who has never been, is probably never going to be a slave or Master/Mistress etc. It is a term that I feel for the most part is over used and extremely inaccurate. It is also used with scorn that is far from deserved. Every single one of us at some point in our lives has been a wannabe when it comes to this life choice. We may have dreamed of it, read books on it, identified with it, but until we have picked up an instrument and used it on someone's flesh, been owned, dominated another person or owned one, we were Wannabe's. Potentiating but not yet realized. 

Now here is the kicker, even if we have never done one blessed thing to actuate our desires into reality with another person, we can STILL be self identified as Submissive, Dominant, Masochist or Sadist, these are personality traits not just words denoting our positions in our life choice. There are no Wannabe's among that latter grouping. You are what you are. But there is no way to delineate the difference between Submissive (trait) and Submissive or Dominant (trait) and Dominant. (Scraping Twue off the bottom of my shoe)

Nevagonnabes is the term I perfer to use for those who are unlikely in my opinion to ever step beyond the mental exercise alone in their rooms. You will occasionally meet one on the net, hiding from Mom in the basement or wife or boss, but they are a rare avis indeed. Eventually they may transform into a Wannabe, but often they will go to their graves unfulfilled save by a porn site or magazines, never daring to step outside the privacy in their own minds.

So why NOT use Wannabe's? Simple. If you are seeking someone with experience in an area, say that you are looking for experience. You may require a certain amount of experience, that is your perogative, though frankly until you meet a person you don't know just how much experience they actually have. It is not like you can check with a former employer. References are only as good as the people they give you to check with afterall and with the proliferation of free email sites on the web, that reference check...could be them. But don't dismiss someone as a Wannabe, because they don't have the experience you want or are just getting started with this life choice.

So many Dominants are more than willing to welcome the submissive just taking her first steps in this world, but we don't often see the reverse. Experienced Submissives and slaves saying they will entertain and  work with the new Dominant seeking to gain experience. These seeking dominants are often the ones tagged Wannabe's as they make blunders and mistakes trying to find a partner in exploration.

Now don't get me wrong, there are a lot of trolls out there, looking only for wanking material and I have little save contempt for them. But they are not the Wannabe's in my opinions. They are just Wankers and trolls.  

The wannabe's are just that..people who "Want To Be" but have not yet gained experience in real time, experience they are seeking. Don't dismiss them out of hand, remember at one point you to 'Wanted to Be" and weren't.

poenkitten (no we weren't rejected by someone it really was NOT a pretty profile, and would have turned off many people even with coffee)
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Wannabe's Vs Nevagonnabes - 5/15/2008 3:02:54 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		I tend to wonder why people care so much about what other people choose or don't choose to do with their lives that we need to reinvent the common language in order to make sure we classify them properly.

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(in reply to BlackPhx)
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RE: Wannabe's Vs Nevagonnabes - 5/15/2008 3:10:08 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		I hear ya.  Recently, someone told me "person" was a label.   I guess TECHnically, it is.....

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RE: Wannabe's Vs Nevagonnabes - 5/15/2008 3:10:52 PM   
Aanakaris


Posts: 310
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		I have heard this term tossed around alot as well. I suppose that anyone who currently is without a sub/slave/Master/Dom could be called a wannabe.

Finding the personality that fits best with yours is much more important than experience. Experience can be gained by doing, personality is usually pretty set. Just be sure to reseach anything you do not have experience with so that nobody gets hurt in a way they don't want too.

Howard


(in reply to MadRabbit)
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RE: Wannabe's Vs Nevagonnabes - 5/15/2008 3:11:47 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		Yeah...maybe...but I don't think the gerbils will be insulted because they didn't get our cool label.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Wannabe's Vs Nevagonnabes - 5/15/2008 3:24:15 PM   
ELUSIVE1


Posts: 536
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline


«--
 


Pretty Fly
 
youknow it's kind of hard
Just to get along today
Our subject isn't cool
But he fakes it anyway
He may not have a clue
And he may not have style
But everything he lacks
Well he makes up in denial

So don't debate, a player straight
You know he really doesn't get it anyway
  He's gonna play the field, and keep it real
For you no way, for you no way
So if you don't rate, just overcompensate
At least you'll know you can always go on Ricki Lake
The world needs wannabe's
So do that brand new thing

He needs some cool tunes
Not just any will suffice
But they didn't have Ice Cube
So he bought Vanilla Ice
Now cruising in his Pinto, he sees homies as he pass
But if he looks twice
They're gonna kick his lily ass

Now he's getting a tattoo
He's gettin' ink done
He asked for a '13', but they drew a '31'
Friends say he's trying too hard
And he's not quite hip
But in his own mind
He's the dopest trip

So don't debate, a player straight
You know he really doesn't get it anyway
He's gonna play the field, and keep it real
For you no way, for you no way
So if you don't rate, just overcompensate
At least you'll know you can always go on Ricki Lake
The world needs wannabe's
The world loves wannabe's
So let's get some more wannabe's
And do that brand new thing




< Message edited by ELUSIVE1 -- 5/15/2008 3:28:14 PM >

_____________________________

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*Poe
http://alt.com/blog/ELUSIVE1NC
http://users.adultspace.com/ELUSIVE1NC/


(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Wannabe's Vs Nevagonnabes - 5/15/2008 3:24:20 PM   
BrigandDoom


Posts: 155
Joined: 12/29/2007
From: Nottingham
Status: offline 		To me a wannabee has always been someone who makes all of the right noises but has no intention or is unable to grasp the root of what they seek. It's a term used for people acting out a dream, lots of white boys pretending to be and thus labelled "Emeniem wannabee's" etc etc.
The term nevagonnabes fits the players, cyber warriors and other general fuckwitts that inflict themselves upon us. Looking for a good 5 knucke shuffle online they certainly help keep Kleenex in business and nothing else!

_____________________________

Brigand Doom

There is only one, accept no alternatives!

(in reply to MadRabbit)
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RE: Wannabe's Vs Nevagonnabes - 5/16/2008 9:04:29 AM   
BlackPhx


Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline 		Yanno...you are right labels are pretty much useless. So why do you identify yourself as dominant, self-reliant, independant, motivated or a man or since you considered that facetious stubborn or hardheaded? Labels are one of the ways we have to identify ourselves to others and vice versa. You know like your first name or Soc. Sec. # and DL identify you to your employer, IRS and the cops and keep you from being mistaken for public enemy number 35.

Do we need to reinvent the common language? Probably, since we do it on a daily basis. Bling was not a word in the dictionary in the 1900's, Disco was not seen in the 1920's as a word, and Computer, Internet, and Blogging would be real puzzling for those stuck in the Middle Ages. I could call my Computers cars and my Car a can opener, but it might be confusing for people to know what I was talking about if I did. So labels and words need to be clear to everyone or they convey no information.

I don't insist that everyone use my terminology. Hell I hate the word Domme (Dom me is how it reads to me) as the term for Domina/Dominatrix used today. Domina and Dominatrix have far more elegance and don't sound like a demand for their services. I use the terms I grew up with and leave others to use the ones they are comfortable with and that their dominant is happy with.

It doesn't however stop me from musing about things and placing my thoughts out there for others to comment on or to consider. Those were my thoughts. We all were Wannabe's at some point, because we had never taken it beyond our dreams, hopes and desires. Once we had, we are what we were meant to be. But there are also Nevagonnabe's out there, and unfortunately, people tend to use wannabe where they mean nevagonnabes.

My  and another 104 of them will buy me a value meal item.

poenkitten

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Wannabe's Vs Nevagonnabes - 5/16/2008 9:07:12 AM   
Asherdelampyr


Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
Status: offline 		I label myself as a ham and swiss sammich...

seriously though, I have to ask, what's the point?


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(in reply to BlackPhx)
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RE: Wannabe's Vs Nevagonnabes - 5/16/2008 9:07:20 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I started as a wannabee...

(in reply to BlackPhx)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Wannabe's Vs Nevagonnabes - 5/16/2008 9:31:04 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Wannabe's are ok! They have intent and desire but just lack the know how or connections at this time to make it, but they will make it in time.

Nevergonnabe's are also ok! The are not interested in being what ever it is so all is well.

What I have an aversion to is the:  Wannabe-if-they-knew-how-but-don't-know-what-to-do-or-where-to-do-it, they affect the post and dress of being there in the hope to be part of the in crowd, following the latest trends in what ever they are trying to be part of and usually use one credit card to pay off the first credit card, and fail due to their primping and posing and generally annoy the ones who are there and who are what ever these idiots wannabe. Some know this species as Posiers I use a label older than some of you but I guess most of you know a few of them  YUPPIES

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)


< Message edited by IronBear -- 5/16/2008 9:32:58 AM >

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Wannabe's Vs Nevagonnabes - 5/16/2008 10:51:05 AM   
BlackPhx


Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline 		With Mayo or Mustard?

No seriously, as I stated in the OP this thread was sparked by a profile that was filled with contradictions and diatribes against Wannabe Doms (persons who did not fit her idea of Dominant) and frankly reminded me a great deal of another 'Dominant" of days long gone (as he is now deceased) where Duminants and Wannabe described everyone identified as a Dominant, except him or those approved by him.

Odd things get me thinking, and sometimes I share them. I try not to post things easily found answers or questions just by using the search engine and key words on CM.  Not interested..don't read or comment.

poenkitten


(in reply to Asherdelampyr)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Wannabe's Vs Nevagonnabes - 5/16/2008 11:29:39 AM   
sassysexygirl


Posts: 213
Joined: 8/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackPhx

My  and another 104 of them will buy me a value meal item.

poenkitten


greetings A/all
greetings poenkitten

LOL  not here.  our tax is ten percent so you need  plus 8 

well wishes,
gemmie


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(in reply to BlackPhx)
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RE: Wannabe's Vs Nevagonnabes - 5/16/2008 11:43:11 AM   
passub


Posts: 37
Joined: 9/18/2007
Status: offline 		But seriously, are wannabe`s - hope spelt that right..... are they safe, do they come with a cert to voch
that they be safe....????
only reason responding to this as having same discussion over here where dey term is liberally used
misused and abused by folks, who have experience and are one presumes mature adults.
who like to label, catgerorise and pidgeon hole.

why is it soo many folks in dey scene so to speake, like to label, catgerorise and all de rest...??????

just saying - from de edge of de worlde, here in Ireland.
and if any of yez have been here ye willa know, just how far outa on da edge de scene here is....

(in reply to sassysexygirl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Wannabe's Vs Nevagonnabes - 5/16/2008 12:37:35 PM   
MusicalBoredom


Posts: 620
Joined: 5/8/2007
From: Louisiana/New York
Status: offline 		I try not to care at all what other people are or are not.  If they seem like someone I would like to get to know I try to get to know them.  Just because I don't click with someone doesn't mean anything is wrong with them or me -- it just means we don't click.  I click with others and I'm sure the other person does as well.  I don't really find it necessary to think something is wrong with someone else just because I don't mesh well with them.  I think it was adolescent insecurity that made me want to figure someone else was damaged in some way if I didn't like them or they didn't like me.  Thankfully I'm not an adolescent anymore (even though sometimes it's hard to tell by my sometimes childish actions).


(in reply to BlackPhx)
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RE: Wannabe's Vs Nevagonnabes - 5/16/2008 12:53:59 PM   
Enochian


Posts: 59
Joined: 2/18/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: passub

But seriously, are wannabe`s - hope spelt that right..... are they safe, do they come with a cert to voch
that they be safe....????


Oh heck;  now we are going to have to have a National Convention to Board Certify people along the lines of SSC(F), or RACK.  >laughing<  I can see it now:  "Pardon Me, Sir, but can I see your UberDomLocal #101 Dues and Certification Card Please? ... Ahh, I see you are a RACK track memeber; that would be Room 101, thank you."

Actualy... in theory; that might not be a bad idea... controvesial as all hell; sure.. but at least some 'basic' set of instruction on good safety practices might be nice.  Then again; would probably cause more schism then it would close.  Ah well.

quote:


why is it soo many folks in dey scene so to speake, like to label, catgerorise and all de rest...??????


Information Theory:  There are basicly (two) types of Data: Compressable; and Non-Compressable.  If you can compress it; you can provide a Lot of Data in a small(er) ammount of space.  Thus: Lables.  If I say: "The Pope"; Irrespective of your personal preferences, chances are you will have a heck of a lot of data, about that individual, without me having to explain every little bit of it.

If I DON"T use a 'lable' then I've got to explain everything there is to know about that term/person/station/envrioment/etc... and that takes a lonnnnnngggg time.

So; Everyone, Everywhere Likes To Lable; 'cause it is a quick way of compressing and transmitting data.  The problem is that the underlying data (the person) is often Non-Compressable; and thus causes problems 'cause everyone dosn't fit into the same meaning.

>ponders< .. one of these days I'll get better at expressing my ramblings.

----

"Do as thou will; shall be the Whole of the Law"

(in reply to passub)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Wannabe's Vs Nevagonnabes - 5/16/2008 1:41:33 PM   
im4realsub


Posts: 13
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		Just my opinion, but a "wannabe" to me is someone who THINKS they are Dom/sub but the REFUSE to learn.  They think because they call themselves one or the other it makes them so. 

*goes back into hiding cuz she doesn't post much*  

shadoe

(in reply to Enochian)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Wannabe's Vs Nevagonnabes - 5/16/2008 1:50:25 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Wannabe is a value judgement on the part of the person saying it.   
And as we all know, not everyones judgement is sound.
I have a friend in the lifestyle who is dominant. He scened a sub, who promptly told him that he wasn't dominant, and cruelly cut him down.
IMO, he will make someone a good dom, but not her, so just because she called him a wannabe, doesn't make it a universal truth.
I would say she didn't make a good sub, except maybe somewhere there is a dom who wants a cruel wannabe sub (hehe).

In other words - your wannabee, may be my dom of my dreams. (sighs dreamily)


(in reply to Enochian)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Wannabe's Vs Nevagonnabes - 5/16/2008 2:00:09 PM   
Enochian


Posts: 59
Joined: 2/18/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: im4realsub

Just my opinion, but a "wannabe" to me is someone who THINKS they are Dom/sub but the REFUSE to learn.  They think because they call themselves one or the other it makes them so. 

*goes back into hiding cuz she doesn't post much*  

shadoe


>chuckles<  That reminds me of a list I saw somewhere.... (from memory...)

"Things you Do Not Want To Hear right after you are tied up in chains:

* Don't worry, I'm an EXPERT!  I read how to do this once on the Internet somewhere!"

How about the term "Nevergonabee" from the OP??  'cause if they Think they know it; but Refuse to learn it.. then they don't Want To Be; they will simply Never Be.

But yes; the instant application of a Title does not automaticaly confer the magical transferance of the Skills and Experience that said Title might imply.


(in reply to im4realsub)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Wannabe's Vs Nevagonnabes - 5/16/2008 2:09:05 PM   
Floggings4You


Posts: 240
Joined: 12/18/2006
Status: offline 		I don't understand why so many people put much energy into complaining about what other people do, post on their profiles, journal about in their blogs, etc.  Sure, I guess if something truly is awful, it's good to let others know about it.  But, if something is just another's preference, up to those relatively harmless misconceptions, I don't see why its worth much of my attention, let alone my energy, to complain about it, ridicule it, etc.
 
I don't need to spend my time making fun of the stupid stuff in this world.  I've got better things to do...


(in reply to Enochian)
Profile   Post #: 20
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