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Queening/smothering - 5/16/2008 3:30:27 PM

redassdavid

Posts: 1
Joined: 12/13/2007
Status: offline

As a slave (uncollared right now but looking for local contact) I have found that without introducing significant time into having my face sat on, I don't feel fullfilled. I am bisexual and feel the same way regardless of the gender of my Top. Why is it so hard to find a top that understands the deep needs of a sub to feel totally at his or her mercy as a grand finale and during the core of a session.

Post #: 1

RE: Queening/smothering - 5/16/2008 4:09:29 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I couldn't tell you, so I'll tell you a (true) story instead. This happened a few months ago, but since you're new, you probably haven't heard it.

My sub and I were joking around with each other while running some errands. Out of the blue, he started his next comment to Me with "Dude"

For the fun of it, I asked him what he had called Me, and he said he had called Me "Dude". So, I proceeded to ask him if he were familiar with the term "queening". It turned out that he wasn't, so I explained it to him. Then, I told him that, if he called Me "Dude" again, that would be My exact method for showing him that I, most certainly, wasn't a "Dude".

The boy has never called Me "Dude" again.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to redassdavid)

Post #: 2

RE: Queening/smothering - 5/16/2008 4:13:39 PM

DianeB

Posts: 166
Joined: 1/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: redassdavid

As a slave (uncollared right now but looking for local contact) I have found that without introducing significant time into having my face sat on, I don't feel fullfilled. I am bisexual and feel the same way regardless of the gender of my Top. Why is it so hard to find a top that understands the deep needs of a sub to feel totally at his or her mercy as a grand finale and during the core of a session.

Only with very specical subs and they must be wearing a chin harness while I'm smothering them...

Diane

< Message edited by DianeB -- 5/16/2008 4:54:09 PM >

(in reply to redassdavid)

Post #: 3

RE: Queening/smothering - 5/16/2008 5:31:56 PM

Pyrrsefanie

Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: redassdavid
Why is it so hard to find a top that understands the deep needs of a sub to feel totally at his or her mercy as a grand finale and during the core of a session.

You're still at their mercy regardless of whether or not you're getting what you want -- which, to me, this entire post sounds like you're complaining that you don't get to eat enough pussy/suck enough cock.

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(in reply to redassdavid)

Post #: 4

RE: Queening/smothering - 5/16/2008 5:35:25 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

Personally, I'd say a sub is one heck of a lot more at my mercy when bound immobile by rope, unable to touch me, with my hands over their mouth and nose.

In a queening position, they can have too much effect and interaction with me... even if arms and legs are bound, the mouth and tongue can still move -even if it's just barely- too close to sensitive parts of mine.

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(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)

Post #: 5

RE: Queening/smothering - 5/16/2008 6:54:52 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I love smothering.....I have these fab velvet stretch pants that I like to wear while I do it......... because hey! that kind of breath play is in the fun/reward category, and not a given with every scene. If I feel like it, it happens. Otherwise, nope!

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(in reply to RumpusParable)

Post #: 6

RE: Queening/smothering - 5/16/2008 8:21:25 PM

petdave

Posts: 2479
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
For the fun of it, I asked him what he had called Me, and he said he had called Me "Dude". So, I proceeded to ask him if he were familiar with the term "queening". It turned out that he wasn't, so I explained it to him. Then, I told him that, if he called Me "Dude" again, that would be My exact method for showing him that I, most certainly, wasn't a "Dude".

The boy has never called Me "Dude" again.

Really?

Something seriously wrong with that boy!

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 7

RE: Queening/smothering - 5/16/2008 8:29:01 PM

aidan

Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline

Because every time a woman queens you, God tears the wings from another innocent angel. Didn't you know that?

Seriously, though. It just sounds like your expressing the needs of a bottom, and a lot of tops are not going to give that kind of intimacy to somebody without building one hell of a rapport.

_____________________________

Do what now?

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(in reply to redassdavid)

Post #: 8

RE: Queening/smothering - 5/17/2008 2:22:44 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: petdave

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
For the fun of it, I asked him what he had called Me, and he said he had called Me "Dude". So, I proceeded to ask him if he were familiar with the term "queening". It turned out that he wasn't, so I explained it to him. Then, I told him that, if he called Me "Dude" again, that would be My exact method for showing him that I, most certainly, wasn't a "Dude".

The boy has never called Me "Dude" again.

Really?
Something seriously wrong with that boy!

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to petdave)

Post #: 9

RE: Queening/smothering - 5/17/2008 3:03:35 AM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

Aiden and Pyrr have hit the nail on the head for me.

Slaves don't get what they want, they get what their D gives them.

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(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 10

RE: Queening/smothering - 5/17/2008 3:15:44 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Well, it's going to depend on how you're going about the whole thing. We feel used and angry when it's obvious that the sub is all about their fetish and that anyone could do it to them and they'd be happy. This is what your post has said to me. If all you need to be fulfilled is the fetish, find an good pro in your area. They do a really good job at fantasy fulfillment and meeting a need for a fetish.

Master Fire

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(in reply to redassdavid)

Post #: 11

RE: Queening/smothering - 5/17/2008 5:41:52 AM

Mustardseed

Posts: 291
Joined: 5/27/2006
From: Seattle, WA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: redassdavid

As a slave (uncollared right now but looking for local contact) I have found that without introducing significant time into having my face sat on, I don't feel fullfilled.

I'm new to both topping and being a dominant, while my boy has had decades of experience as a submissive. I'm being taught to top, and also introduced to what's possible in general. To a certain extent we explore his kinks in part to reassure me of what's okay ("Wow, that didn't tear off or anything!") and in part to figure out what I enjoy doing but may not have thought of yet. Queening is one of his kinks, but frankly the positioning is tricky for us if I want to get any real pleasure out of it. If I don't feel like it, or if it's not working for me we don't do it. *shrug*

quote:

I am bisexual and feel the same way regardless of the gender of my Top. Why is it so hard to find a top that understands the deep needs of a sub to feel totally at his or her mercy as a grand finale and during the core of a session.

The fact that my boy loves to be queened is clear, but it's even clearer that even while learning I should be hot for what's going on and enjoying myself. He's hot for having done a good job and pleasing me.

Like others here, I suspect that part of the problem is that you're looking for a service top who will conform to your particular kinks, rather than looking more objectively at the play you're doing with them and realizing that you probably are indeed at that particular top's mercy no matter what they do or don't do with your face.

Hunting around specifically for either a service or professional top may be your best bet. Good luck in your search!

_____________________________

Carve your name into my arm / Instead of stressed I lie here charmed - Placebo

(in reply to redassdavid)

Post #: 12

RE: Queening/smothering - 5/17/2008 7:26:10 AM

LadyLynx

Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline

i prefer smothering with my boobies personally. as for queening, ehhh no. having them sit/lay under me, close enough to smell me, but not do anything else? heh. ohh yeah!

redassdavid, I hear what your saying, but complaining about it, won't get you anywhere. I know it's hard finding people, but you need to have patience, also widening your net may help. (like if you aren't involved in your local community, that would be a good place to start.)

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(in reply to Mustardseed)

Post #: 13

RE: Queening/smothering - 5/17/2008 7:33:31 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

Aiden and Pyrr have hit the nail on the head for me.

Slaves don't get what they want, they get what their D gives them.

what all of them said.. and personally.. the activity on its face (hah!) doesn't appeal to me..

by the way.. posts that contain or start off with "why is it hard to find .... " tend to come off as whining and complaining.. if you search that phrase, you'll likely find a ton of wisdom in this forum on WHY... and in the end

whatever you are looking for is hard to find, now isn't it?

< Message edited by Madame4a -- 5/17/2008 7:35:06 AM >

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(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 14

RE: Queening/smothering - 5/17/2008 9:14:20 AM

liks2plzlf

Posts: 390
Joined: 7/21/2005
Status: offline

O K. What is a chin harness? What is its purpose?

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 15

RE: Queening/smothering - 5/17/2008 9:21:38 AM

Boondoggle

Posts: 123
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: offline

http://www.extremerestraints.com/the-accommodator-face-strap-on-dildo_627.html

As for its use, well, it doesn't take much imagination.

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You see I'm not the kind of fella'
who can get off on vanilla.
No I need a little color in my sex.
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(in reply to liks2plzlf)

Post #: 16

RE: Queening/smothering - 5/17/2008 10:19:49 AM

DarkLovelyDomme

Posts: 43
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

Maybe sitting on your face isn't what makes them feel that you're totally at their mercy. It's not a comfortable position for the person sitting (noses hurt!)

Facesitting is easily in the top three session requests I get on the professional side of things: it has little to do with my enjoyment, and everything to do with the client wanting to put his face in my crotch. Demanding it-- not being willing to play unless half of the session involves the top perched upon your face-- isn't being a good bottom, in my opinion.

(in reply to redassdavid)

Post #: 17

RE: Queening/smothering - 5/17/2008 11:38:46 AM

subexploring

Posts: 103
Joined: 12/28/2005
Status: offline

Just speaking as someone who vanilla dates a lot, I generally find women prefer being on their backs for oral sex rather than being on top. Which is a shame, as not only does the sub part of me like having the woman on top, but I can go much longer, for hours really, when I'm lying in my back. When the woman is on her back and I go down on her, my neck starts getting pretty tired and sore after a half hour or so. Being on my knees in front of her while she lies back in a chair can help some, but it's still not as comfortable.

< Message edited by subexploring -- 5/17/2008 12:05:56 PM >

(in reply to DarkLovelyDomme)

Post #: 18

RE: Queening/smothering - 5/17/2008 4:12:03 PM

StrictnSaucy

Posts: 363
Joined: 1/6/2005
Status: offline

I love it. It allows me complete control. I control breathing, rhythm, pace. I start when I want and finish when I want. I get to choose whether its tongue or if he holds a vib in his mouth ... so he can smell but not taste.

(in reply to subexploring)

Post #: 19

RE: Queening/smothering - 5/17/2008 4:41:58 PM

Queencie

Posts: 6
Joined: 11/20/2005
From: Israel
Status: offline

I never thought facesitting was about the submissive being comfortable…

Well, I don't think I'd change my view now…

quote:

ORIGINAL: subexploring

Just speaking as someone who vanilla dates a lot, I generally find women prefer being on their backs for oral sex rather than being on top. Which is a shame, as not only does the sub part of me like having the woman on top, but I can go much longer, for hours really, when I'm lying in my back. When the woman is on her back and I go down on her, my neck starts getting pretty tired and sore after a half hour or so. Being on my knees in front of her while she lies back in a chair can help some, but it's still not as comfortable.

Anyway, I agree with StrictnSaucy. Max control by me, not to mention - a great pleasure

(in reply to subexploring)

Post #: 20

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