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RE: Is my profile not appealing? - 5/18/2008 9:10:47 AM   
DerangedPleasure


Posts: 8
Joined: 5/15/2008
Status: offline 		I think this is a very interesting topic, because I feel like theres alot of people on here with the same profile issues. In fact, it makes me curious... I'm very new around here and I'd love to hear some opinions on my profile as well. I know I dont have a pic, but thats because... well its a long story, but i plan to have one shortly. In my description I did my best to sound creative and interesting, but maybe I'm just going about it the wrong way. who knows... I'd love some feed back as well. Thanks! :)

(in reply to MladyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Is my profile not appealing? - 5/18/2008 9:15:23 AM   
Mustardseed


Posts: 291
Joined: 5/27/2006
From: Seattle, WA
Status: offline 		It sounds as though the photos you had up and the current format of your profile were designed for a specific sort of domme: one who is more interested in a hard body and being thought of as above other dommes than one who is interested in a well-rounded individual who shows through his photos that he can take care of himself (and thus tend to his domme) and through his writing that specifically who he is looking for, what he can for her and what sort of person she can expect to find upon meeting him.

If this is the sort of domme you want to find, it may take time for her to find and respond to your profile. You've made all of four posts on the forum. You may want to consider being a regularly contributing member in order to attract more positive attention. Or, as others have suggested, you may want to create a profile that reflects either what sort of domme you want to attract or what sort of submissive you want to be for her.

Sometimes you have to put in more effort and sometimes you just have to wait. It depends on what you're expecting.

_____________________________

Carve your name into my arm / Instead of stressed I lie here charmed - Placebo

(in reply to MladyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Is my profile not appealing? - 5/18/2008 9:33:07 AM   
Mustardseed


Posts: 291
Joined: 5/27/2006
From: Seattle, WA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedPleasure

I think this is a very interesting topic, because I feel like theres alot of people on here with the same profile issues. In fact, it makes me curious... I'm very new around here and I'd love to hear some opinions on my profile as well. I know I dont have a pic, but thats because... well its a long story, but i plan to have one shortly.

Good. A picture doesn't solve everything, but it can tip the scales in either direction.

quote:

In my description I did my best to sound creative and interesting, but maybe I'm just going about it the wrong way. who knows... I'd love some feed back as well. Thanks! :)

Well, since you asked for it ...


quote:

(From your profile.)
I'm 20 years old and I live in Los Angeles.

The auto-description generated by the forms you've filled out already tells us this.

quote:

I've been interested in the BDSM community for some time, but to be honest I have little experience.

Why don't you have more experience with the LA BDSM scene? What is your experience with it? Is there anyone within it who can give a domme who is interested in you a reference? Are they willing to do so? This would be good to mention.


quote:

All I know is that this is something I definately want to try. By no means do I consider this a lifestyle for me, but who knows... I just might find the right dom for me.

My first thought was, "Okay, is he just looking for casual play partners or what here?" Please be specific about what you want.


quote:

If you really want to get to know me, if you really want to find that perfect submissive who just might be capable of giving all of himself to you, then send me a message telling my why ...

You may want to change my to me.

quote:

... you started all this.

Or rather than throwing a domme bait and requiring that she do homework for you, you could always flesh out your profile a bit more.


quote:

By "this" I mean your collar me account, the late nights you spent scowering the internet looking for people like you... People who simply find deranged pleasure in domination and submission. So, Be you a Submissive, Slave, Dominant, Mistress, Goddess, Princess,or any other kind of person who finds joy in deranged pleasure send me a message and We'll talk...

Why are these words capitalized?


There really isn't much on your profile to work with, so I can see why you haven't been flooded with confession-style email. As I mentioned to the original OP, you may want to consider being a regularly contributing member in order to attract more positive attention, so that members can get a better bead on you. Or, again, flesh out your profile using positive language and giving local dommes and idea of who you are in LA and why on earth they should pick you above all the other male submissives they could be tormenting.

< Message edited by Mustardseed -- 5/18/2008 9:36:39 AM >

_____________________________

Carve your name into my arm / Instead of stressed I lie here charmed - Placebo

(in reply to DerangedPleasure)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Is my profile not appealing? - 5/18/2008 9:44:53 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedPleasure

I think this is a very interesting topic, because I feel like theres alot of people on here with the same profile issues. In fact, it makes me curious... I'm very new around here and I'd love to hear some opinions on my profile as well. I know I dont have a pic, but thats because... well its a long story, but i plan to have one shortly. In my description I did my best to sound creative and interesting, but maybe I'm just going about it the wrong way. who knows... I'd love some feed back as well. Thanks! :)


I find your profile nice..perhaps you can add a picture in time. And some more journal post.

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to DerangedPleasure)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Is my profile not appealing? - 5/18/2008 10:13:42 AM   
ChalicedePleurs


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/15/2008
Status: offline 		I think your profile is better than many here, actually. It rings as "honest" to me and I'd personally take that any day over some of the canned ones I've seen (though I'm fairly new to these boards). Your profile gives some insight into who you are and where you are at present which is important. Deepening that in any way can only be a good thing as it will draw to you those who can best use you.

Hang in there and best of luck to you!



(in reply to APoinephilicLife)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Is my profile not appealing? - 5/18/2008 12:16:48 PM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline 		APoinephilicLife,

Upon reading my comments to you, I think that I was perhaps unfair.  In particular, I'm thinking of the comment I made about your friends list making you appear as a player.  Now it's true that many of these pictures are of young Dominas, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with this and it also shows that you are a social person.  What bothered me is the cumulative effect of the negativity in your text which, in turn, caused me to view your pictures with question.  Here are some examples of what I'm talking about:

quote:

It annoys me when people's cell phones are turned off.

My profile is not a fake.  I am legitimate.

I work hard to pay my bills.

I'm looking for a real Dom/Sub relationship, NOT a financial whore.


In the last line you're essentially calling women whores.  Let's review the Old English definition of the word whore which is (roughly):  "a prostitute, one who engages in sexual relations for a reward, usually monetary".  Now in this sense, it's true that some women are whores, but it's equally true that some men are whores.  Regardless of the gender you're labeling, you've done this in an extremely derogative way and thus it reflects poorly on you.  There are situations where the word whore has very positive, endearing connotations, but that's not how you're using it here.  Even in positive contexts, one must be careful because, like equally loaded words (such as slut, bitch, and cunt), some people just don't like hearing certain words.  Myself, if it's by the right person and in the right context, I love being called any of these words, but again I must stress that the usage of whore in your profile doesn't come across in a positive way.  Doubling your folly is the subtext that professional Dominas are whores.  This is an aged, staid, often hurtful, vitriolic subject that is best avoided.

As for the other text I've quoted, it's not overtly negative but rather subtly negative.  The one line style you've chosen does tend to emphasize each of these statements.  It comes across as though you've got a chip on your shoulder and thus, as I mentioned above, the cumulative effect is negative, at least when I read it.

You're very physically attractive and this comes across in your pictures.  Likewise you're going to school, have a job, and demonstrate other attractive qualities (such as being honest and straightforward).  Thus, as I suggested before, I recommend removing the negativity from your profile and adding some more vanilla details about yourself.  Also, it would help to be more specific about what you're looking for.  With these changes, I think you'll do much better.

Just a final note... in my previous post I wrote:  "pictures, personality, intelligence, sense of houmour, grace, compassion, spealling, and grammar all count".  Oops.  Now there's irony for ya.  Of all the words to mistype, I misspelled "spelling". :-)

Elan.

(in reply to APoinephilicLife)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Is my profile not appealing? - 5/18/2008 2:49:12 PM   
BondageBarbieX


Posts: 495
Joined: 4/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedPleasure

I think this is a very interesting topic, because I feel like theres alot of people on here with the same profile issues. In fact, it makes me curious... I'm very new around here and I'd love to hear some opinions on my profile as well. I know I dont have a pic, but thats because... well its a long story, but i plan to have one shortly. In my description I did my best to sound creative and interesting, but maybe I'm just going about it the wrong way. who knows... I'd love some feed back as well. Thanks! :)



i personally only talk to people with photos of themseves so its good that you will be adding one soon,yiu will get more response with one.
To me,(i guess i am the only one)your profile at the end sounded like you are doing a research paper or are looking to gather stats.i also thought it was a tad disrespectful to demand (even in a very low key way)that Dominants make contact with you and spill their life story.Below is the part i did not like:
**********

If you really want to get to know me, if you really want to find that perfect submissive who just might be capable of giving all of himself to you, then send me a message telling my why you started all this. By "this" I mean your collar me account, the late nights you spent scowering the internet looking for people like you... People who simply find deranged pleasure in domination and submission. So, Be you a Submissive, Slave, Dominant, Mistress, Goddess, Princess,or any other kind of person who finds joy in deranged pleasure send me a message and We'll talk...  


(in reply to DerangedPleasure)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Is my profile not appealing? - 5/18/2008 3:00:12 PM   
APoinephilicLife


Posts: 28
Joined: 5/11/2008
Status: offline 		id like to thank everyone for their responses. i changed my profile around a quite a bit and id like you all to check it out once more.  thanks
-kevin.

(in reply to MladyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Is my profile not appealing? - 5/18/2008 3:04:22 PM   
lalbobbilynn


Posts: 483
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline 		Read Your new profile. You are young; that is to say ...... Live, learn and luxuriate in Your life good man!!
b.~

< Message edited by lalbobbilynn -- 5/18/2008 3:06:13 PM >

(in reply to APoinephilicLife)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Is my profile not appealing? - 5/18/2008 3:05:25 PM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: APoinephilicLife

id like to thank everyone for their responses. i changed my profile around a quite a bit and id like you all to check it out once more.  thanks
-kevin.


looks/reads great to me :)
some typos...but hé  we humans do that :P


_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to APoinephilicLife)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Is my profile not appealing? - 5/18/2008 3:08:36 PM   
MontrealPhoenix


Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: APoinephilicLife

id like to thank everyone for their responses. i changed my profile around a quite a bit and id like you all to check it out once more.  thanks
-kevin.

Better, much better. But the use of financial whore still sticks in my side, as does the "I'm not gay so don't even try it" sentence. I would keep that (and put it much more politely) for those who contact you.
 
phoenix

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267



(in reply to APoinephilicLife)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Is my profile not appealing? - 5/18/2008 3:12:16 PM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MontrealPhoenix

quote:

ORIGINAL: APoinephilicLife

id like to thank everyone for their responses. i changed my profile around a quite a bit and id like you all to check it out once more.  thanks
-kevin.

Better, much better. But the use of financial whore still sticks in my side, as does the "I'm not gay so don't even try it" sentence. I would keep that (and put it much more politely) for those who contact you.
 
phoenix


later on he says..he doesn't mind to meet up with bi or gay people as friends with in a 2 hour radius.
that softens it for me

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Is my profile not appealing? - 5/18/2008 3:51:39 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		Rambling, negative, and boring are the descriptives that come to mind first.  You haven't told me anything about you except that you are homophobic and will probably be bratty.  Not a good way to attract a Domina.  Scrap your profile and start over.  Talk about who you are -- hobbies, personality traits, skills -- most of all, what makes you a better candidate for my collar than the, literally, hundreds of other guys out there.  It's your job to impress potential Dominants with your profile so they'll be interested enough to take the time to contact you or read your CMail.

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Is my profile not appealing? - 5/18/2008 3:57:04 PM   
MontrealPhoenix


Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: MontrealPhoenix

quote:

ORIGINAL: APoinephilicLife

id like to thank everyone for their responses. i changed my profile around a quite a bit and id like you all to check it out once more.  thanks
-kevin.

Better, much better. But the use of financial whore still sticks in my side, as does the "I'm not gay so don't even try it" sentence. I would keep that (and put it much more politely) for those who contact you.
 
phoenix


later on he says..he doesn't mind to meet up with bi or gay people as friends with in a 2 hour radius.
that softens it for me

yeaaaah, true, but it's at the very end and only those who read to the very end will see that. Oh OP you misspelled domme, you wrote dom instead. I assume you're still looking for a domina so i would correct that.
 
phoenix

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267



(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Is my profile not appealing? - 5/18/2008 4:19:56 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		hey hey hey, now I believe in truth of advertising if he's a slob let him show that he's a slob. Save me the trouble of finding out later on after I am already invested or interested.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

The pictures are largely unbecoming, I'd suggest new and better ones.  Casual is good, but your main one shows you at an awkward angle and with a big view of trash/dirty clothing on the floor.

(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Is my profile not appealing? - 5/18/2008 5:54:41 PM   
DerangedPleasure


Posts: 8
Joined: 5/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BondageBarbieX

quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedPleasure

I think this is a very interesting topic, because I feel like theres alot of people on here with the same profile issues. In fact, it makes me curious... I'm very new around here and I'd love to hear some opinions on my profile as well. I know I dont have a pic, but thats because... well its a long story, but i plan to have one shortly. In my description I did my best to sound creative and interesting, but maybe I'm just going about it the wrong way. who knows... I'd love some feed back as well. Thanks! :)



i personally only talk to people with photos of themseves so its good that you will be adding one soon,yiu will get more response with one.
To me,(i guess i am the only one)your profile at the end sounded like you are doing a research paper or are looking to gather stats.i also thought it was a tad disrespectful to demand (even in a very low key way)that Dominants make contact with you and spill their life story.Below is the part i did not like:
**********

If you really want to get to know me, if you really want to find that perfect submissive who just might be capable of giving all of himself to you, then send me a message telling my why you started all this. By "this" I mean your collar me account, the late nights you spent scowering the internet looking for people like you... People who simply find deranged pleasure in domination and submission. So, Be you a Submissive, Slave, Dominant, Mistress, Goddess, Princess,or any other kind of person who finds joy in deranged pleasure send me a message and We'll talk...  



...hehe Well I wasnt really demanding it was more of a casual suggestion. :p But I get what your saying. I dunno, I guess im just trying my best not to sound likea whiney bitch you know? Instead of begging incessantly like some do here I thought I'd show a little confidence and ask the Doms to approach me.



(in reply to BondageBarbieX)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Is my profile not appealing? - 5/18/2008 6:51:31 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

Rambling, negative, and boring are the descriptives that come to mind first.  You haven't told me anything about you except that you are homophobic and will probably be bratty.


I was trying to figure out how to say this. But, I'm over 30 so I don't count anyway. *chuckle*

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Is my profile not appealing? - 5/18/2008 6:52:59 PM   
APoinephilicLife


Posts: 28
Joined: 5/11/2008
Status: offline 		ok, i cant post a new topic, so that means most people wont read it. its dumb.  so ill put it here. i changed myprofile around so people can look at it to see if it sounds better.  go check it out.  thanks  -kevin-

(in reply to APoinephilicLife)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Is my profile not appealing? - 5/18/2008 7:15:51 PM   
phoenixinchains


Posts: 2534
Joined: 4/5/2007
From: i live here
Status: offline 		oh, that is so much nicer.
are you to add different pictures? i think it's neat when a little intro' is given about what is going on in the picture, either in the journal or profile.
again, much better

_____________________________

OWNED BY CHAOSFORGE.
purrfectly happy slave of Chaosforge.


http://www.myspace.com/phoenixofchaosforge
devotee of CM gods and mods

(in reply to APoinephilicLife)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Is my profile not appealing? - 5/18/2008 7:22:31 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Ok.  I finally scanned it, after two posts of clogging up the boards about it. 

Now, I hate to blast you, but I didn't find one worthwhile thing that you've written.  In fact, I found a lot of it just screaming "young kid who wants to get laid".  I don't think you are doing submissive males in your age group any favors.

Oh, I'm curious about something.  Since you had so many things that were so blatently anti-gay, I'm wondering how many conversations you've had with Master Taino (who is one your 'friends' list) about it.

Examples like this make Me very glad that certain BDSM groups are 21 and up.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to APoinephilicLife)
Profile   Post #: 40
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