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RE: Quick Collaring, asking other Master's opinions - 5/19/2008 11:41:14 AM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
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I didn't ask your personal opinion on the collar, I asked if you would agree that D/s lifestylers (those of us who self-identify as participating in D/s oriented relationships) tend to make that equation. That is why 'anyone' would make that statement. It doesn't hold true for me, but it certainly holds true for many people. That you aren't 'one of those people' doesn't invalidate their views.

Stephan

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Post #: 41

RE: Quick Collaring, asking other Master's opinions - 5/19/2008 11:43:01 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

The only definition of a collar that matters is the one the people in the relationship/dynamic place on it. Beyond that it doesn't mean anything. It has nothing to do with an invalidation of what people think about it. It is what it is.

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(in reply to Stephann)

Post #: 42

RE: Quick Collaring, asking other Master's opinions - 5/19/2008 11:47:37 AM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

Are you suggesting that symbols of relationship committment have no social significance? Most of us aren't hermits. When people ask what my collar means to my slave and I, I'm the first one to say that it's a unique symbol for us, and our definition isn't likely to work for anyone else. That doesn't mean others can't or shouldn't consider that view amongst others when trying to determine what works for them.

It would be very hard to teach a child how to draw an A if I prefaced every single example I show with "this isn't the only way to do it, and you'll have to find your own special brand of A." Ultimately, symbols have social value, even if they're defined internally.

Stephan

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Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

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Post #: 43

RE: Quick Collaring, asking other Master's opinions - 5/19/2008 11:51:34 AM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
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I wore a wedding band for years without the legal protection behind it. Basically it was a common law relationship and he liked having that outward symbol signifing that I was taken.

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Post #: 44

RE: Quick Collaring, asking other Master's opinions - 5/19/2008 11:53:58 AM

Utopia48

Posts: 27
Joined: 1/8/2008
Status: offline

i find it odd that the Sir she is talking about in his journal, in two separate entries on the same day less than a month ago, states that he collared one woman and had another come join his house and that isn't including the woman who is the OP....i would be very careful if i was the OP.

(in reply to Stephann)

Post #: 45

RE: Quick Collaring, asking other Master's opinions - 5/19/2008 11:54:33 AM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

I wore a wedding band for years without the legal protection behind it. Basically it was a common law relationship and he liked having that outward symbol signifing that I was taken.

For what it's worth, we very much approach our relationship from the perspective of collars, rings, etc are simply external symbols of feelings that have already come to pass. If I marry a girl, it won't be because I want her to become my wife; I want to marry her, because it already feels that she has become my wife. Charlotte wasn't collared so I could make her my slave, she was collared because we both already felt that she was.

Stephan

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Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 46

RE: Quick Collaring, asking other Master's opinions - 5/19/2008 11:54:58 AM

kittinSol

Posts: 16926
Status: offline

Perhaps the OP is the dude in disguise.

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Post #: 47

RE: Quick Collaring, asking other Master's opinions - 5/19/2008 3:24:45 PM

batshalom

Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline

Statistically speaking it probably won't work out, but the odds are basically 50/50. Go for it if you want to.

I would ask SirTask how quickly he collared his other girls, how many girls he's had, and I would also like to speak with the other girls. If the girls are no longer in his care (after a very short period of time: since 4/21/08) you might want to go a little slower since that could be a good indicator of what to expect. Microwaved food gets untouchably hot really quick, but it cools off fast too. You see?

Perhaps you have spoken with the girls. If so, and if you still feel good about it, give it a shot. If you're a gambler, maybe the odds add spice.

(in reply to bcsubgirl)

Post #: 48

RE: Quick Collaring, asking other Master's opinions - 5/19/2008 4:21:06 PM

bcsubgirl

Posts: 11
Joined: 5/8/2008
Status: offline

thanks for all the great stories and opinions.

yes, we both know we are being idiots.

what can i say...

i am tickled pink i have the attention of an attractive and interesting Dom who thinks i am so hot, he is waiting to pounce with collar in hand, the minute i show up.

he is tickled pink he has a good possiblity of an interesting, sometimes pliable, sometimes cheeky new slave for slut training.

and yup, we are both old enough to know better.

really do appreciate all the comments, and the concerns as well.

(in reply to batshalom)

Post #: 49

RE: Quick Collaring, asking other Master's opinions - 5/19/2008 6:26:15 PM

UR2Badored

Posts: 506
Joined: 2/3/2007
Status: offline

Okay, I would "unlikely" be one for quick collaring. However, I want a show of hands of anyone who did not fall in love with CharlotteS or Stephanns' photos at first sight..........geez, it easy to see how it could happen with those two.
<small hijack over--exit stage door left>

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Post #: 50

RE: Quick Collaring, asking other Master's opinions - 5/19/2008 6:49:52 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

I'd want to know if his mommy knows what he is doing on her computer.

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Post #: 51

RE: Quick Collaring, asking other Master's opinions - 5/19/2008 6:54:43 PM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

quote:

and yup, we are both old enough to know better

part of it really, really depends upon your definition of a collar, and what you each expect. it would behoove you to talk about that and make sure you both have the same thing in mind.
I have seen people get married very quickly, with a kind of, 'if it doesn't work out, i know a good divorce attorny' frame of mind. (I am thinking of my father here. I think he kept the divorce attorney on retainer.)
OTOH, my collar is for life. i don't get to just walk away. so, it kind of depends.
If I thought my collar was for life, and Master thought it was for as long as it remained convienant, then we would have different definations, different expectations, and that would be bad. Niether particular set of expectations is bad, or worse than the other, but the fact that they don't match would cause problems, sooner or later.

good luck.

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(in reply to bcsubgirl)

Post #: 52

RE: Quick Collaring, asking other Master's opinions - 5/19/2008 7:35:19 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Well, it worked for us. But the collaring didn't happen until after we met, about a month after. However prior to meeting we had become intense friends to the point where love did grow. Being old enough to know that feelings can sometimes push realities to the side, we agreed to meet first. God forbid that I turn out to be a dead ringer for his sister, or he be the kid that pulled my hair in elementary school.

If your feelings match his, then tell him how you feel. But make it clear that should there be no chemistry, or bad chemistry, that all bets are off. If he's serious about you then he will want you to feel safe doing this. If he demands you sign over your bank account, run!

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Post #: 53

RE: Quick Collaring, asking other Master's opinions - 5/19/2008 7:49:46 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bcsubgirl

thanks for all the great stories and opinions.

yes, we both know we are being idiots.

what can i say...

i am tickled pink i have the attention of an attractive and interesting Dom who thinks i am so hot, he is waiting to pounce with collar in hand, the minute i show up.

he is tickled pink he has a good possiblity of an interesting, sometimes pliable, sometimes cheeky new slave for slut training.

and yup, we are both old enough to know better.

really do appreciate all the comments, and the concerns as well.

I am feeling really confused.

This is a different Dom that you walked away from (re: another thread)?
I do not think there is anything wrong courting more than one person, but what does concern me is the speed with which you seem to get very attached.
Attention is a wonderful thing but when the attention you are getting is more important than the relationship I think you might be in for a hard landing.

(in reply to bcsubgirl)

Post #: 54

RE: Quick Collaring, asking other Master's opinions - 5/19/2008 10:30:59 PM

AtlantisKing111

Posts: 181
Joined: 1/14/2005
Status: offline

I've never felt that strongly towards any potential slave. Then again, I personally have an aversion against the "quick-collar" mentality. Especially against collars done long-distance and ALWAYS against ones done before physically meeting.

It takes a certain amount of time to determine if a slave and a Master will work out. IMHO

(in reply to bcsubgirl)

Post #: 55

RE: Quick Collaring, asking other Master's opinions - 5/19/2008 10:50:05 PM

bcsubgirl

Posts: 11
Joined: 5/8/2008
Status: offline

dear angelica,

love your photo, by the way.

the other dom contacted me from a profile at alt.com and i had some lingering thoughts about it.

yes, i love attention.. when it is from someone i find interesting. doesn't everyone?

as for getting attached, i do know the difference between infatuation, curiousity and genuine love.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 56

RE: Quick Collaring, asking other Master's opinions - 5/19/2008 10:58:09 PM

BondageBarbieX

Posts: 495
Joined: 4/1/2008
Status: offline

2 weeks and He wants to collar you and you have not met?Big red flag there,run for the hills!

(in reply to OldBastardly1)

Post #: 57

RE: Quick Collaring, asking other Master's opinions - 5/20/2008 4:49:56 PM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

quote:

yes, i love attention.. when it is from someone i find interesting. doesn't everyone?

as for getting attached, i do know the difference between infatuation, curiousity and genuine love.

Do You ??? your asking questions about continuing a relationship with the dom that called you the pigslut,,, you decide to dump him... and ask about accepting a collar from a another Dom and decide to accept it all within 24 hours .....good luck I think you are going to need it

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(in reply to bcsubgirl)

Post #: 58

RE: Quick Collaring, asking other Master's opinions - 5/21/2008 3:52:57 PM

bcsubgirl

Posts: 11
Joined: 5/8/2008
Status: offline

sambammanslilgal..

thank you for a sensitive post...

baby doll

(in reply to Floggings4You)

Post #: 59

RE: Quick Collaring, asking other Master's opinions - 5/22/2008 12:24:33 PM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

~FR~

First off i'm not saying all quick collarings or quick marriages etc are going to crash and burn. But I do believe "only fools rush in" I mean really, if he loves you now he'll love you more in 6 months when you actually have a fricking clue about each other.

Too many times when you "think:" you have a connection online or on the phone, whatever, when you meet face to face there is actually nothing there.

What's the rush?

Why do you or he feel you need to be collared now when you are going to meet in a couple weeks? Do one of you feel that if you are already collared you can't suddenly decide you don't like one another?

HELLO we're adults, this isn't spin the bottle where you have to go into the closet with whom ever the bottle points at. geez

I'm living with my Dom and I'm still not "officially" collared. We're working on our relationship as a couple (as adults first and formost not Master/sub) if we continue to mesh well and our day to day life goes well then the collar will come in time when we feel it's right and we want to make that more solid commitment

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Post #: 60

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