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RE: Shaping and Molding - 5/22/2008 8:04:13 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant
It would be...with apologies...like beth, now that Merc has put so much time and effort into helping beth in her transformation from what she was before she met Merc into what she has become---a transformation desired by both--- through hours of hard work and guidance and nurturing and teaching (that would be shaping and molding and training) , taking herself from Merc and giving herself to someone richer and better-looking.


CD,
Richer sure - but "better-looking"? How is that possible!

On topic...

"Shaping & molding" is personal. I know that much of my shaping and molding would be seen as a problem for others based simply on the activity and preferences documented in this and other threads. I think the only change in beth from the person she is now from the person I met is that she's now confident that she's not the "freak" and "disgusting pervert" that she was called by previous partners. 

Another reality is shaping and molding doesn't involve change. I consider the basic word definitions essential and important to this discussion. Shaping and molding maintains the integrity of the person.

My favorite point of reference to this point is Michelangelo and his 'Prisoners in Stone' gallery in Florence. In reference to the 'David'; when questioned about how he could make something so beautiful he modestly said that David was always in marble, "a prisoner in stone", he said all he did was remove the marble that wasn't 'David'. 

I have a similar sentiment concerning beth. It is a conscience effort not to harm or change the person 'beth'. There was a lot to be removed from the raw material that was Elizabeth when we met; some just dust and clay, easy to remove, but some as hard a marble and requiring more time and a chisel. But the process isn't at all one sided as Michelangelo's.

In many respects there is shaping and molding going on both with the sculpture, and the sculptor. Both of us are also living subjects. You also must allow for growth, adaptation, and even a result that doesn't look like the original blueprint.

In our world, the goal isn't a Merc generated sculpture of 'beth' in his image similar to Michelangelo's relationship to 'David' resting on a pedestal. Its more an interactive ongoing wet, clay attempt to a living 'Merc&beth' version of Rodin's 'The Kiss'. 

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 121
RE: Shaping and Molding - 5/22/2008 8:14:51 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
obviously subs sign up for different reasons, one of them being they like the sound of the label.  it has nothing to do with their sexual orientation, their preferred relationship orientation, their innate talents, abilities, personality, spirituality, experience, prior training or working dynamics of the relationship they are in.
 
they agree to the label, and expect an egalitarian relationship, where they will dictate and negotiate terms and don't need to change a thing about themselves, their behaviors or how they spend their time.  their counterpart also agrees to their label, and attaches the complimentary label to themselves, with the expectation that it will be an egalitarian relationship as well.
 
everbody's happy...no harm, no foul.

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)
Profile   Post #: 122
RE: Shaping and Molding - 5/22/2008 8:26:09 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
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beth......huh?????

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 123
RE: Shaping and Molding - 5/22/2008 8:46:22 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

beth......huh?????

erin,
beth will respond in a moment. In the meantime, consider how animated and angry people get over labels. Something so inconsequential as the submissive/slave debate. What the hell difference would it make if you (not you personally, the collective 'you') were confident with yourself, your self identity, and who you are? The label, and the perception of identity that goes along with it must be important. People will defend it and be personally insulted when challenged, or asked to explain how their actions, and activities are contrary to the generally accepted definitions. The point being - no challenge should matter, unless the label is all you have.

Now - back to beth, who in a few minutes needs to have her foot 'shaped and molded' by the Doctor.

this slave has noticed that for some, the label "Dom/Master" or "sub/slave" IS their kink, and has nothing to do with actually submitting to another's control or authority or exerting dominance over another individual, or their life.
 
not that there is anything wrong with that.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 124
RE: Shaping and Molding - 5/22/2008 9:01:08 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
erin,
beth will respond in a moment. In the meantime, consider how animated and angry people get over labels. Something so inconsequential as the submissive/slave debate. What the hell difference would it make if you (not you personally, the collective 'you') were confident with yourself, your self identity, and who you are? The label, and the perception of identity that goes along with it must be important. People will defend it and be personally insulted when challenged, or asked to explain how their actions, and activities are contrary to the generally accepted definitions. The point being - no challenge should matter, unless the label is all you have.

Now - back to beth, who in a few minutes needs to have her foot 'shaped and molded' by the Doctor.

this slave has noticed that for some, the label "Dom/Master" or "sub/slave" IS their kink, and has nothing to do with actually submitting to another's control or authority or exerting dominance over another individual, or their life.
 
not that there is anything wrong with that.


Thank you for clarifying. I really did not understand your post beth...it kind of sounded like an over-generalization along the lines of the "One true way"....and that is sooooooo not like anything I have ever seen from you so that is why I asked. I do have to agree with what you have both said.

Edited to add....Hugs and good luck with your foot....hope it goes well.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 125
RE: Shaping and Molding - 5/22/2008 12:07:32 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant
It would be...with apologies...like beth, now that Merc has put so much time and effort into helping beth in her transformation from what she was before she met Merc into what she has become---a transformation desired by both--- through hours of hard work and guidance and nurturing and teaching (that would be shaping and molding and training) , taking herself from Merc and giving herself to someone richer and better-looking.


CD,
Richer sure - but "better-looking"? How is that possible!



I know...~blushing~...where WAS my mind when I said THAT?!?

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 126
RE: Shaping and Molding - 5/22/2008 2:48:33 PM   
StormsSlave


Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline
Mr. Rabbit,

I agree with you in a sense.  If a woman turns herself over to a man as his slave, that's exactly what she did.  I just wonder about the brain of a man who looks at a beautiful woman they desire and instead of saying, "I want to be with that beautiful creature," says, "I want to fix that one up and make her more perfect."  I just don't get it.  However, having had a series of relationships where my partner wanted to "mold me" I ended up leaving because I can never be what anyone else wants me to be.

On the flip side of that, there are a number of areas where I am "willing" toward MyLord, including "dressing up" for him.  I try to always be touchable, clean, soft, and try very hard not to wear things he hates.  This is not a requirement, just my plan to please him.  He asked me to grow my hair long, I am complying, but it was a request, not a command.  He comments that he likes my legs in that dress, I wear that dress again.   However, I don't believe this is a d/s thing as much as a "womanly wiles" thing, imho.

We do encourage one anothers growth and education, as well as "calling each other on it" when we screw up, but it's more a collective effort of making Us better, and less an effort to make ME better.

_____________________________

Congratulate me...I'm a missus!!

--nobody's resident anything.

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 127
RE: Shaping and Molding - 5/22/2008 2:59:56 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: StormsSlave

Mr. Rabbit,

I agree with you in a sense.  If a woman turns herself over to a man as his slave, that's exactly what she did.  I just wonder about the brain of a man who looks at a beautiful woman they desire and instead of saying, "I want to be with that beautiful creature," says, "I want to fix that one up and make her more perfect."  I just don't get it.  However, having had a series of relationships where my partner wanted to "mold me" I ended up leaving because I can never be what anyone else wants me to be.

On the flip side of that, there are a number of areas where I am "willing" toward MyLord, including "dressing up" for him.  I try to always be touchable, clean, soft, and try very hard not to wear things he hates.  This is not a requirement, just my plan to please him.  He asked me to grow my hair long, I am complying, but it was a request, not a command.  He comments that he likes my legs in that dress, I wear that dress again.   However, I don't believe this is a d/s thing as much as a "womanly wiles" thing, imho.

We do encourage one anothers growth and education, as well as "calling each other on it" when we screw up, but it's more a collective effort of making Us better, and less an effort to make ME better.


Thank you for your polite reply, but I'm afirad I don't think you have understood anything I have said and therefore I can't respond.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to StormsSlave)
Profile   Post #: 128
RE: Shaping and Molding - 5/22/2008 3:32:30 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
 C'mere StormsSlave, come stand by me. 

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 129
RE: Shaping and Molding - 5/22/2008 3:44:05 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
erin,
beth will respond in a moment. In the meantime, consider how animated and angry people get over labels. Something so inconsequential as the submissive/slave debate. What the hell difference would it make if you (not you personally, the collective 'you') were confident with yourself, your self identity, and who you are? The label, and the perception of identity that goes along with it must be important. People will defend it and be personally insulted when challenged, or asked to explain how their actions, and activities are contrary to the generally accepted definitions. The point being - no challenge should matter, unless the label is all you have.

Now - back to beth, who in a few minutes needs to have her foot 'shaped and molded' by the Doctor.

this slave has noticed that for some, the label "Dom/Master" or "sub/slave" IS their kink, and has nothing to do with actually submitting to another's control or authority or exerting dominance over another individual, or their life.
 
not that there is anything wrong with that.


Thank you for clarifying. I really did not understand your post beth...it kind of sounded like an over-generalization along the lines of the "One true way"....and that is sooooooo not like anything I have ever seen from you so that is why I asked. I do have to agree with what you have both said.

Edited to add....Hugs and good luck with your foot....hope it goes well.


(thanks, erin!!! hoping to make it into the silver thigh-high boots for Folsom!!!)
 
as always, you will find no endorsement of the "One-True-Way" here.  it just seems to this slave that a lot of folks expect others to submit for the same motivations that they do...and frankly, it just isn't the case.  e.g.  "What is the difference between sub and slave" threads that devolve into folks telling OTHERS what true and real submission MUST mean to them.
 
the interpretations of "shaping and molding" on this thread gives insight into how folks perceive those terms in their own way and apply it to their D/s or M/s relationships...or not.  just like the term "slave" or "slut" has negative connotations for some folks and they are turned off by anyone who would use such offensive language.
 
more power to them.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 130
RE: Shaping and Molding - 5/22/2008 7:35:39 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
I don’t much care for the analogies of dominant as the one who sculpts and submissive as the inanimate stone. It is not a passive endeavor. 
To be molded and shaped I must want to be that which is pleasing; therefore I must be an active participant in the process. I must be able to not only share the dominant’s vision but also be a co-creator in the development of it.


_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)
Profile   Post #: 131
RE: Shaping and Molding - 5/23/2008 12:14:26 AM   
cirigon


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/22/2008
Status: offline
Being shaped and molded is merely a dream for me, that someday someone will observe my potential and capacity for slavery [I dream of this, I truly do.] and recreate me as they see fit.

All is done in love, what else is there?

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)
Profile   Post #: 132
RE: Shaping and Molding - 5/23/2008 12:16:11 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cirigon

Being shaped and molded is merely a dream for me, that someday someone will observe my potential and capacity for slavery [I dream of this, I truly do.] and recreate me as they see fit.

All is done in love, what else is there?


if it is done in love..then it is perfect. That makes shaped and molded sound a lott better.

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to cirigon)
Profile   Post #: 133
RE: Shaping and Molding - 5/23/2008 12:27:23 AM   
cirigon


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/22/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: cirigon

Being shaped and molded is merely a dream for me, that someday someone will observe my potential and capacity for slavery [I dream of this, I truly do.] and recreate me as they see fit.

All is done in love, what else is there?


if it is done in love..then it is perfect. That makes shaped and molded sound a lott better.


It does, doesn't it?

Personally I feel that, were the situation to be made reality, it would please me to become whatever was desired, for my pleasure would be my Master's pleasure.

So simple, somehow..

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 134
RE: Shaping and Molding - 5/23/2008 12:30:00 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
Life is a game of wheels within wheels within wheels..and nothing is ever as simple as it might seem.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to cirigon)
Profile   Post #: 135
RE: Shaping and Molding - 5/23/2008 12:36:54 AM   
cirigon


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/22/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Life is a game of wheels within wheels within wheels..and nothing is ever as simple as it might seem.


I would do well to keep that in mind.

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 136
RE: Shaping and Molding - 5/23/2008 3:07:00 AM   
StormsSlave


Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline
Mr. Rabbit....so, how are those anger management courses coming.

Cali--Make room.  I'm coving over...

_____________________________

Congratulate me...I'm a missus!!

--nobody's resident anything.

(in reply to cirigon)
Profile   Post #: 137
RE: Shaping and Molding - 5/23/2008 5:05:49 AM   
pettingdragons


Posts: 421
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
obviously subs sign up for different reasons, one of them being they like the sound of the label.  it has nothing to do with their sexual orientation, their preferred relationship orientation, their innate talents, abilities, personality, spirituality, experience, prior training or working dynamics of the relationship they are in.
 they agree to the label, and expect an egalitarian relationship, where they will dictate and negotiate terms and don't need to change a thing about themselves, their behaviors or how they spend their time.  their counterpart also agrees to their label, and attaches the complimentary label to themselves, with the expectation that it will be an egalitarian relationship as well.
 everbody's happy...no harm, no foul.


  thank you for the wonderful post.....

pettingdragons
**Master Dragons considered slave**

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 138
RE: Shaping and Molding - 5/23/2008 5:10:32 AM   
pettingdragons


Posts: 421
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cirigon
Being shaped and molded is merely a dream for me, that someday someone will observe my potential and capacity for slavery [I dream of this, I truly do.] and recreate me as they see fit.
All is done in love, what else is there?


What does love have to do with molding and shaping? **scratches head**

pettingdragons
**Master Dragons considered slave**

(in reply to cirigon)
Profile   Post #: 139
RE: Shaping and Molding - 5/23/2008 5:12:07 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

And what seperates the girls from the women, is when they run when you ask them if they are "useful".
 
 And not just for sex.

That's a whole other thread... but yeah, there are a lot of "submissives" who seem to think any expectation of being useful is unfair and harsh.  It'd be amusing if it weren't so common.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 140
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