ImpGrrl
Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sub4hire
Even Dominants have down days. Where to all others even their submissive he/she would see a submissive side to them. People are human.
So - being submissive is somehow being "down", or "off" - something negative?
quote:
In my world...all in the world are submissive or Dominant. Look at your average vanilla couple. They have defined roles within the house do they not? At least your happy vanilla couple does. One takes charge of this and one of that. That is a D/s relationship. One in control..and one who is'nt. The other may have control in certain aspects but we all have our place in life. Where I differentiate the lifestyle from vanilla is. We are aware of our kink. Vanilla's are'nt. They have'nt evolved yet so to speak.
What a narrow little world you describe!
It's not *hardly* accurate to the world outside.
If you want to use those terms (I don't like to outside the context of actual d/s relationships). all people are submissive *and* dominant. All have authority and all give authority. Most vanilla people are *not* in d/s relationships. Some are. Yes, each partner is responsible for different things in the relationship. One has authority over some things, the other has authority over other things. Some things require shared authority. Sometimes there is disparate authority overall - and even then, I wouldn't call it a d/s relationship. A d/s relationship requires desire for and recognition of the dynamic. A disparate authority relationship simply has disparate authority.
As for "they haven't evolved yet" - we (BDSM or d/s folk) are *not* bigger/better/faster/more than they (vanilla folk) are! We all simply have the relationship dynamics which fit us best.
quote:
Anyway..back to the switches. I've talked to many. What I have gathered (and this is only what I have gathered and my opinion) Is switches like to play. They don't always want the total control a full time D/s relationship is. If you go to a party as a single sub...and there are only subs there. Can you play? A switch can. A switch has the best of both worlds. I think people put them down because they have different values in life. They don't really realize that on a day to day basis.
We all walk different paths. We all like different things.
While you are making an attempt - you're way off base for some. Yes, some switches are only interested in play. But others are interested in the whole caboodle.
Not all switches switch with the same partner - and not all switching is about authority.
For authority-based (d/s) switching:
- Some switches, mono or poly, switch with the same partner(s).
- Some mono switches can have different dynamics with each new relationship. They can be owned by one person, and own their next partner, and sometimes they can even be egalitarian with the next.
- Some poly switches have multiple relationships with different dynamics. This best describes my relationships. I know other owned switches, even in TPE relationships. They do not ever top their owners, nor are they ever dominant to them, inside or outside the bedroom.
However, they *are* capable of, and may eventually desire to have, a relationship with someone who is submissive
to them, possibly even someone whom they own. They would, of course, do that with their owner's permission. Many of them have been in other d/s relationships in the past where they were the d-type, or in egalitarian relationships with other switches, where neither of them had greater authority, but both enjoy the sadomasochism they can give each other.
Which naturally leads me to the other kind of switch - the SM switch.
SM switches may be dominant, or submissive, neither, or both. The defining feature for this sort of switch is that they are both a sadist and a masochist, or at least that they enjoy both topping and bottoming - even if it's not actual "pain".
I am both kinds of switch.
It doesn't make them less "TPE" - the owner still has absolute authority, and can still deny the switch any of the above, or
arrange it without their property's explicit consent.
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Now of course there are the exceptions out there as well. Although..I have noticed the majority are the way I said.
Perhaps the majority of those *you* have met - but there's a wider world out there.
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RE: RE:Karah: the term SWITCH! - 
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