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Online Service - 5/22/2008 7:24:10 AM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		This isn't a smart ass question and I am not looking for a bunch of snarky comments.

I am really being serious and sincere here, because this is something I don't think I have ever managed to wrap my head around and never have attempted to experience.

How exactly do you "serve" someone online who you have never met or are in physical proximity of?

What does that "service" consist of?

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RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 7:25:55 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		It's all in the mind, and no, I'm not being sarcastic. People get off from the mind high alone, and I suppose online can provide just that.



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RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 7:41:03 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		Great topic MadRabbit, I actually have a difficult time wrapping my mind around this as well.   I'm totally open to trying to honestly understand this one. 

(in reply to MadRabbit)
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RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 7:44:55 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		I can't wrap my mind around serving someone without a physical connection to.  I do do things for m'Lord that don't require physical closeness, but it's balanced by physical interaction.

Though I do know a guy who enjoys on-line mastering, his method is through pictures, web-cams and e-mails.  His particular fetish is being allowed to direct his sub to take degrading pictures of herself which he makes available for others to view and comment on.  I think the reward/punishment mechanism is orgasm control, though I think that there is alot of disingenuty that can take place in a relationship like this.

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RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 7:53:29 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		It is a concept I just purely do not get. I've had others try and explain it to me but what it comes down to is my asking this........"How do you propose to serve me online?" "What are you going to do for ME?"

I get, "you can tell me what to do, give me directions to follow, tell me when I can pee, what and when to eat" etc etc etc......

To which I reply "Exactly HOW is that you serving me?"

Then I get alot of stammering and stuttering type of replies. "I guess it isn't really."

Serving me is going to require being with me, not demanding my time and brain energy thinking of stupid shit for you to do. Stuff I won't gain anything from or even know for a fact you've done.

Online, to me, is service topping at best.

The only possible things I can imagine would be, research, writing, web design, etc. Nothing I need. So, online service just doesn't exist for me.




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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 7:53:38 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		That's what I ask every submissive that emails me begging to serve me online.  WTH?  What kind of service can you give me?  Funny thing... not one of them has ever had an answer that didn't include some sexual kick for them.

I can understand some online d/s structure or mentoring, or simply getting to know someone in an effort toward friendship or something in real time, but other than that... I just don't get what service one can actually give online that would be worth much of anything to me.

(in reply to OmegaG)
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RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 7:56:12 AM   
DominantJenny


Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		There's the old line about the brain being the most powerful sex organ. If people genuinely immerse themselves in online interaction, it can feel just like the real thing...speaking from experience on both sides of that, btw. I had an LDR with a woman in which we had "scenes" that are, to this day, just as vivid and real to me as the live-and-in-person scenes I've done with my spouse. She and I were both serious about what we were doing, both immersed in the experience, and both very good with both language and imagination. It takes a certain ability to take yourself out of your physical space and into an entirely mental one...bookworms are good at this sort of thing, I find.
Then there are things one can physically do...like the webcam stuff or things like keeping a journal or doing assigned tasks (providing proof in some manner or not), etc.
Another way to look at it; I can leave my slave in our bedroom, ordered to torture himself, and he will do as he is told. I can dominate him without being in the room, he can serve me without my constant supervision. An online relationship is just a long-term, in depth extension of that.

(in reply to OmegaG)
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RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 8:00:47 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		Online..when serious... can be as serious....as beeing together..to some people.
Ofcourse physical contact is not there. But you give orders...train her...discuss the lifestyle. For me...most relations started like that...leading to real life later.'
(for me it was daily contact when online...not 10 minutes a week to just cum..lol)



< Message edited by Justme696 -- 5/22/2008 8:01:30 AM >

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RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 8:04:17 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		Well I don't serve him in any of the ways that are described in forums because it is primarily an LDR. When together I'm still not sure if I'm serving... I don't dance towards him balancing a tray of strawberries and chocolates wearing only stiletto heels (which is often how serving is described, sort of a flowery and exaggerated waitress thing). But what I do consider online serving is this.. it is what he wants me to always be doing, always doing that which makes him pleased with me. Essentially that boils down to following his directions that we discuss every morning. What chores I need to try and get done. Which bills to pay, phone calls to make etc. He plans out my day for me and I check off the ones I get done then talk to him about the ones I didn't get done. That is the service he asks of me no matter where we are, be it close by or across the country.

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RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 8:04:19 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I think what it probably comes down to is how each of us will define service. BDSM activities are not service to me. They are play and they are fun, but they are not service. Scenes, are play and fun, but still not service.....to me.

For me, service is someone doing something for me that makes my life easier. Doing the dishes after I've cooked so I can weed the garden. Cleaning the floors while I cook. Mowing the yard while I work on a new flower bed. These are the types of things that serve me. Not someone sticking a plug up their arse and nipple clamps on breasts, while they sing the national anthem 10 times on a row.

So yeah, I guess it depends on how each of us define what serves us.


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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to DominantJenny)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 8:04:59 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline 		In my opinion, you can serve, but most people cannot be served online.

The distinction is this.  In your heart and soul, you can feel you are serving and that can be as valid as any other kind of service.  After all, there are religious people, both Christian and Islamic, who feel they are serving a god with whom they've never had any tangible interaction.  Most people would not criticise the feeling of a nun that she is married to Christ.

On the other hand, it is a lucky few, among whom I can't count myself, who can feel that they are being served by someone at a remote.

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(in reply to MadRabbit)
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RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 8:05:12 AM   
DominantJenny


Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		To reply to some of the things that were said while I typed my first response, there are ways to work most things if you are creative. I've never gone to this degree, but some possibilities:
"Clean the house" becomes "he cleans his house and pays/arranges for a maid to come clean yours"
Cook for me...then package it up and send it to me in the mail.
Can't come give me a massage? Well, he can certainly give you a virtual one...and a gift certificate for the real thing.
So forth and so on.
It is ideal? No. But it can be done, if both people are genuine and willing...which is necessary in a live-and-in-person relationship, too.

(in reply to DominantJenny)
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RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 8:06:17 AM   
ludwig9


Posts: 19
Joined: 5/14/2005
Status: offline 		Well I have "done" online too, and for me it was largely about the 10-minutes-a-week-to-you-know-what.  And what's wrong with that? :)

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RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 8:06:51 AM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		I figure it's like being in a long distance relationship where you get together infrequently, and you give the sub assignments in between visits. Except you don't bother with actually visiting so you can pull her hair and other fun stuff.

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RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 8:07:03 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Okay, so in that definition, it is the submissive paying for you to be served by others that is the service. I can see that. Similar to a pro-domme type thing.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to DominantJenny)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 8:08:51 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		Why is it assumed that serving online has to do with masturbating (or whatever) on cam?In the 8 years I've been his, never has serving included that.  I have done that on cam but it was because of the intense sexual build up and arousal he put me through via email, IM and the phone. Jeez it was incredibly hot because I'm in no way an exhibitionist but it wasn't serving him.. so I'm confused on what people consider to be 'serving'. Does that mean serving in real time requires sex toys and cumming??

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RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 8:10:34 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ludwig9

Well I have "done" online too, and for me it was largely about the 10-minutes-a-week-to-you-know-what.  And what's wrong with that? :)


why you ask me? It was your10 minutes :P     (lol you must have been needy with just 10 minutes..lol   ...just making fun ;)  )

As for "serving" in a Ds relation, you propably need more then 10 minutes a week.
Else it is just cybersex. (which can be part of the Ds of course)

< Message edited by Justme696 -- 5/22/2008 8:11:13 AM >

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RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 8:11:24 AM   
DominantJenny


Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		Yes and no...for example, the cooking one is direct service except for the shipping part. I wouldn't compare it to a pro-domme...no one is profitting in that cash-changing-hands kind of way...intermediaries are being used to the enhance the reality of the relationship.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 8:12:05 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		When I used online to start Angel's training, it consisted of his putting himself in situations that were visually provable (cameras and phones) to show that he was serious about carrying out my orders. As a reward for his efforts, we would be on the phone or online, and I would do my best to set up very detailed scenarios that were promises for his future with me. He is a very visual and imaginative boy, and so that alone was more than enough to have him quite nicely controlled. Having him do things he could get in trouble for, could get caught doing, or were just way beyond anything he would ever take initiative to do on his own, becuse I told him to just so he could get permission to masturbate while listning to me tell him what my plans were for him later gave me the rush I wanted too. It doesnt compare to real life,but it was certainly quite fulfilling for the time.

DV


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I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
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*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to LaTigresse)
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RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 8:12:48 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
Serving me is going to require being with me, not demanding my time and brain energy thinking of stupid shit for you to do.


quote:

For me, service is someone doing something for me that makes my life easier. Doing the dishes after I've cooked so I can weed the garden. Cleaning the floors while I cook. Mowing the yard while I work on a new flower bed. These are the types of things that serve me. Not someone sticking a plug up their arse and nipple clamps on breasts, while they sing the national anthem 10 times on a row.  


You're just TOO awesome!

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 5/22/2008 8:13:48 AM >

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