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RE: Common denominator - 5/23/2008 12:11:20 AM   
Phin


Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

OK, I'll most likely regret this post, but while I'm half drunk, I'm gonna ask....
drunk posts are never a good idea... but I am going to attack this issue with the psudoserious way I always do.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Well dahlinggggg, I think your entire premise is flawed.  Everyone is their own common denominator in every relationship,

there is a reason there is a Ask Cali thread. the woman is a genious. I would have never thought of it that way, but she is right.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Okay, don't make me bitch slap you over the "not good enough" thing again.

again I bow before Cali's wisdom. there is no way that you are not good enough. evaluate the men that you date. you may find a quirk in their personality that is the reason that they cannot get that you are a catch

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilabbotsfordgrl

*rubs nakedly on random people*


WHOOOHOOOO!

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Common denominator - 5/23/2008 12:25:26 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		FTR. I was sober when I got the "lets be friends" thing. I was sober when I tried to evaluate WTF I was doing wrong.

The 'I'm drunk' shit came after all that. Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself right now. I posted after alcohol consumption (dammit, try typing THAT word, drunk, and with a lap full of CAT).





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RE: Common denominator - 5/23/2008 12:36:31 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

FTR. I was sober when I got the "lets be friends" thing. I was sober when I tried to evaluate WTF I was doing wrong.

The 'I'm drunk' shit came after all that. Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself right now. I posted after alcohol consumption (dammit, try typing THAT word, drunk, and with a lap full of CAT).






well I am sure those who know you will not judge about you differently because you posten drunk.
you are just human and hurt. we do such things then.

personally for me the "just lets be friends" never worked. Unless both individuals saw the end comming and decided mutual to stop it.
But I never had it like that. 

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RE: Common denominator - 5/23/2008 12:39:32 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Just.. I wasnt expecting this. *shrug*  this is why I question what it is about me........... yanno?

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RE: Common denominator - 5/23/2008 1:29:23 AM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

... This one said I was too clingy.. even after I all but ceased communication. 

... The last LTR I had the guy broke up with me via email (after living together for 5 yrs) because he had replaced me...


GT... first, my sympathies.  I'm so sorry you are hurting right now.  *hugs*

I can't tell you how to figure out what is going wrong, but there is something small here in your words that stood out to me. 

You say you all but ceased communication... why? 

I'm guessing here, of course, but it sounds as if there were already signs that he just wasn't into you.  Why were you continuing to try (or trying to continue) to be in a relationship with someone who sounds as if he wasn't really interested in being with you?

In your last LTR, you say that the guy replaced you.  Of course, I have no idea why he did or the circumstances of your relationship or surrounding the breakup, but if you were living together, were there no indications that he had lost interest?  Did you not wonder about the time away from you he spent developing a relationship with someone else? 

Only you know the details of your relationships, but I can't help wondering if you are ignoring symptoms of trouble and hanging on a bit too long?

Please don't take my questions to mean that I'm suggesting that it is your fault that these relationships ended.  I'm simply pointing out that it appears that you might be valiantly hanging on to bad relationships longer than you should. 

You deserve better, GT.   You will only be treated as well as you allow yourself to be treated.   Know your worth and don't settle for less. 

*hugs again*

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RE: Common denominator - 5/23/2008 1:42:24 AM   
Justme696


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From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Just.. I wasnt expecting this. *shrug*  this is why I question what it is about me........... yanno?


did you have time to ask that question to your ex?

ps. I hope listening to Queen helps you some. I saw you post the lyrics.  but..mmm...don't read to much of those lyrics right now ;)

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RE: Common denominator - 5/23/2008 2:31:57 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		The conclusion I have made, is only Common Denominator involved is that it was not right for either you or the other person.  There are different reason behind each break up and failure.  But it all comes down to things not being right for (endless list of reasons that vary from person to person).

It might appear that it's you, because you are involved.   Often at times, people try to take all the blame for things going wrong.  Or they simply find that they are making the same Mistakes over and over again.

Come on, was it really a mistake, to get involved with somebody and give it your best shot?  How can that be a mistake?

What I am trying to express, is don't take credit for other people's mistakes, and don't try putting all the blame on yourself.

OK, so you were not perfect in a few things. Who the Hell is honestly perfect? All us human beings have a wide range of emotions, we have our quarks, we have our own little triggers, and we also have some bad habits and can do some amazing things that we ourselves find hard to understand.   You are Human, not a Machine.  

Just make certain you are not the one beating yourself up over somebody else's choices or actions!


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RE: Common denominator - 5/23/2008 3:03:15 AM   
StormsSlave


Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline 		Dang.  That sucks.  I'm sorry.  How about some chocolate?

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RE: Common denominator - 5/23/2008 3:36:47 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I want to know if that beer bottle has a deposit on it.  Move to California are you kidding. There is already one Cali there. Being drunk and naked I can take advantage of you. Being on Nyquil and naked is sick. As far as Canada I like molson ice beer and their ice wine. But now that their money is equal to ours it sucks.  Greedy now you have a song stuck in my head. "Breaking up is Hard to do".

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RE: Common denominator - 5/23/2008 4:03:56 AM   
RCdc


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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Common denominator - 5/23/2008 4:25:18 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		If it makes you feel any better...  since 4 am this morning my world has taken some interesting spins..
  • Somebody who I have been friends with for a little over the year, has decided to distance herself from me, because she's in love with.  Everything has been on a friendship level.  Got, the If were an asshole this would be so much easier email.
  • The guy who is currently dating my Last Ex, called me up.. She had an Angry Drunk night, and he was at wits end.   The the conversationed turned down the road of Poly stuff, and blah blah blah.  Honestly I like this guy, still care about her, and he cares about her, and there's no hard feelings on anybody's end.  Strange..
  • Got an Email from my Ex Twisted Kinky Vanilla girl...  the 4 1/2 year relationship I was in.  I'm still not wanting to get mixed up with her again.  She's the one who's acts very Bi-Polar. 

OK, sort of loosing a friend... twisted up thoughts on this poly thing... Ex from a 4 1/2 year relationship emailing me....

Think I need to Suck Down a nice "Labatts Blue" tonight reflect for a momemt at how fucked up the world is...

You know you are having a strange moment, when you Ex girls, current boyfriend is talking about going poly, and sharing her... guess she still has a lot of feelings for me.   I don't know how to deal with her Angry dinking issues anymore then he can.  Oh well, at least we are friends.   My world is twisted....

< Message edited by Owner4SexSlave -- 5/23/2008 4:26:22 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Common denominator - 5/23/2008 7:22:34 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		After recent 'dramas' in my life i've been thinking along the lines of this common denominator stuff too. As Cali says obviously 'we' are the common thing with all these fucked up relationships. However that does not make us to blame, it does not make us 'not good enough'. It makes us somehow not good enough for that person who has just ended the relationship or broken our hearts etc etc. Their loss though, surely?
 
'I should have seen it coming!', 'i should not have ignored the red flags', 'i should have known'. All things i've said repeatedly. But how were we supposed to know? The red flags that aren't always there? The men we got involved with, certainly in my case were all different. Looked different, acted differently, we broke up for different reasons.
 
So the common denominators then are me and failed relationships? Hang on though, i don't think there is one person on this site that can say 100% truthfully they have not had at least one, probably more failed relationships. So its then a common denominator we all share!
 
So truthfully there really is nothing wrong with me and i am good enough. It's just finding that person i'm good enough for.
 

 

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RE: Common denominator - 5/23/2008 7:43:13 AM   
LadyHibiscus


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RE: Common denominator - 5/23/2008 8:02:36 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I never had a failed relationship. I have had some that did not work out. They were'nt failures they were learning experiences.

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RE: Common denominator - 5/23/2008 8:08:16 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

I never had a failed relationship. I have had some that did not work out. They were'nt failures they were learning experiences.


True.  Not every relationship is going to work.  And sometimes people hang on when they should let go.  I do think that break-up by email is sucky behavior, but if you are LD and that's the main form of communication for all things it shouldn't come as a huge surprise that a breakup would be handled in that manner.


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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Common denominator - 5/23/2008 8:13:09 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I never had a failed relationship. I have had some that did not work out. They were'nt failures they were learning experiences.


Ok maybe wrong choice of word butttttt if they didn't work, they failed to work. So either way didn't work out / failed pretty much the same unless you want to be word pickie

Edited for bad spelling.

< Message edited by missturbation -- 5/23/2008 8:14:28 AM >

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Common denominator - 5/23/2008 8:16:05 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		picky picky picky.  But it is all in the preception.

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RE: Common denominator - 5/23/2008 8:16:24 AM   
CruelDesires


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Status: offline 		Come up here and do the Renn faire thing with us this weekend. Lots of sexy long haired men in tights and women with their boobs on a shelf in corsets.It will help you get your mind off of things. :)

CD

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RE: Common denominator - 5/23/2008 8:18:35 AM   
phoenixinchains


Posts: 2534
Joined: 4/5/2007
From: i live here
Status: offline 		*hugs*

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Common denominator - 5/23/2008 8:35:39 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

picky picky picky.  But it is all in the preception.


Quite possibly.
The perception of the word failure being that it is something personal and bad to fail.
When in reality it not working out could be seen in just the same light to some.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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Profile   Post #: 40
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