RE: A useful sub?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: A useful sub?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: A useful sub?

Page: << < prev 3 4 5 [6] 7 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: A useful sub? - 5/24/2008 9:24:33 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

Yup, it's not about techniques, it is about those qualities that make us special beings who can wonder about the universe or watch the beauty of petals on a flower moving ever so slightly as our breath touches them. Oh, yeah, honor and all that too.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to TreasureKY)

Post #: 101

RE: A useful sub? - 5/24/2008 10:02:15 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Someone suggested having a submissive be useful was "abusive" to some schools of thought.

Really??? I have never seen that thought myself.... I have seen the idea USING a submissive was abusive... but never a submissive being Useful was abusive.

Can't say I understand where a person is coming from with that line of thought

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 102

RE: A useful sub? - 5/24/2008 11:16:40 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I agree with my nature that someone needs to provide for the relationship to work.

However, sometimes simply BEING THERE can be the most perfect use and provision ever.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 103

RE: A useful sub? - 5/24/2008 11:56:15 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
Personally, my slave wouldn't be serving me if she had outside employment. Believe me, finding a woman who that was willing to commit to my preference in that regard was not as easy as you would think.

Call me crazy (it wouldn't be the first time), but this really surprises me every time you say it. Even with the stipulation of managing the home and pleasing the Master. I believe you when you say it, but perhaps since I see that as an ideal situation, I become surprised.

No matter, just my sidebar commentary...

I disagree with the motivations, but not the choice. However, it did take having the experience for a brief time of the freedom to be a SAHW that I realized it would be very fulfilling for me. Probably due to my age and upbringing, I had to learn how to be independent and self sufficient as an adult before I could become comfortable otherwise.

I find it a surprise that MOST would reject it also though, specially older generations.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 104

RE: A useful sub? - 5/24/2008 1:09:43 PM

VeryMercurial

Posts: 620
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

... Therein lies the importance of trust. In a relationship it isn't all about honoring safe-words and limits; its about honor - period.

Bravo! You'd be surprised how many don't understand the importance of honor, or even what it is to be honorable. It's not something you can determine about someone from a handful of online chats, either.

We'd have so much less to read and talk about here, though, if more people understood honor and that the key to a successful relationship was two honorable people honoring the relationship, each other, and themselves... pretty much in that order too.

You hit the nail on the head with this post. I would say about 75% of the topics would disappear. But, unfortunately most people are not living with these thoughts in mind.

(in reply to TreasureKY)

Post #: 105

RE: A useful sub? - 5/24/2008 3:47:39 PM

GaCpl

Posts: 2
Joined: 9/20/2007
Status: offline

Hmm so the concept of asking a sub to say.. weed a garden, would be out of line according to those who equate domestic work as being used as a doormat? And here I always thought that expecting such was just being of real service. NOW I See! And all these years we had it all wrong! LOL.
Course with the economy going the way it is . It might just be a good idea to learn how to grow a garden and put up some food. Course that would require clothes in some places..lol.
Honestly. How can ANY thinking adult, not relies that they need to be able to offer more than just sex or some close approximation there of! And Please lets not get into the whole "submission is a gift " thing...

(in reply to TreasureKY)

Post #: 106

RE: A useful sub? - 5/24/2008 3:55:23 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Yes. I do think so. but then again I think any one living in someone elses house should be willing to do some work.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Someone suggested having a submissive be useful was "abusive" to some schools of thought.

Sort of like people who "hard limit" housework.

Personally,if someone is living under my roof, I expect them to do thier share-it's not as if I do not do the same. Do you think a sub should be willing to work?

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 107

RE: A useful sub? - 5/24/2008 4:39:51 PM

RipenReady

Posts: 35
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline

Well, this topic is actually the whole reason why I no longer have a Master.

I believe that if a sub/slave is living with his/her Master then yes they should be expected to work in the job field or to atleast do some household chores, if that was agreed upon at collaring or both agree on it when the situation arrises.

In my case, and I believe I was right (and others have their opinions and may see what I did as wrong), the person I was collared by had me doing household chores every time I saw him. He had a live in sub who is also his girlfriend. I did not live with him, just went to his house to serve him every other week. When I got there I was expected strip down so I had nothing on but my collar, to do the dishes (which may I add were disgusting, it was leftover food in pots or pans that had been there for a week or two, half full glasses of milk that had congealed, grease that had been sitting there so long it was congealed or either hard as hell, you get the point), then I had to wipe the counters/stove/sink with bleach, then I had to sweep all of the tile floors and then get on my hands and knees and scrub them with bleach and then swiffer them. And/Or I would be expected to sweep the floors and clean the bathroom. The tub was always brown/black from dirt being caked in there and I would have to get on my hands and knees and scrub it with bleach and then I would have to clean the toilet(which from the rest of the house being the way it was I'm sure you can only imagine) with bleach, a hand brush, and no gloves. After doing that I would let him know that he could inspect it and then my "reward" was to lay on the kitchen floor and he'd finger me until I came and then I'd get on my hands and knees and have to clean the floor again. Or once when I pissed him off, I was required to go to his house and pick up the dog shit in his backyard with rubber gloves and nothing else. Then I was to leave the bags on the side of the house and go home.

To some people that type of relationship may be fine, just what they're looking for..for me it wasn't. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind doing household chores but that was not what we had agreed upon. Before I was collared by him we had great play sessions with both of us leaving happy. Once I was collared I became a service sub and that was nowhere near what I wanted to be. Again, I don't mind doing chores every now and then but every time I see you I'm not doing that. It was very hard because his girlfriend would criticize everything I had done no matter how well it was done so I was in trouble every time because it was never good enough. Finally it got to the point where I had had enough. I wasn't happy being collared anymore and I told him that. I told him I didn't mind doing household chores but I didn't want to do it every time I saw him. Apparently that wasn't acceptable and I was gone.

So..after my long story..I think it really depends on the situation. If you both agree to household chores and neither of you mind it then great. But if you have someone who's expecting more out of the relationship then just being your maid, then it's not going to work out to well.

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 108

RE: A useful sub? - 5/25/2008 8:02:05 AM

GaCpl

Posts: 2
Joined: 9/20/2007
Status: offline

Well ripen . On reading the whole story . Its seems you did the right thing, for your self.
Sorta have a hard time beliving that two people living in a house would live like that and not clean up , YUCK.

(in reply to RipenReady)

Post #: 109

RE: A useful sub? - 5/25/2008 10:54:23 AM

Owner4SexSlave

Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

People tend to become drawn into specific notions based on things they have read, such as "the story of O", and they establish a sort of de facto standard of expectation.

The best I can say is keep looking, attempt to help others realize that "the story of O" is not the defacto standard of everybody in the lifestyle. That there are many ways.

If housework is an important issue for you, it is as such.

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 110

RE: A useful sub? - 5/25/2008 10:57:44 AM

RipenReady

Posts: 35
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline

It is hard to believe. And there were three of them living there. Him, his girlfriend, and a roomate. The lazy ass roomate didn't clean up his stuff either. I was expected to clean up after all three of them.

(in reply to GaCpl)

Post #: 111

RE: A useful sub? - 5/25/2008 4:00:20 PM

lronitulstahp

Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline

so basically,
before http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iw_zUUE4BE0

after http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lERE_OH6tZE

am i close at all?

(in reply to RipenReady)

Post #: 112

RE: A useful sub? - 5/25/2008 5:46:00 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Floggings4You

If the person is living with you, then the relationship is 24/7. Thus, it seems to Me that you're referring to M/s, not D/s...

No.....not IMPO.
How many more times do I have to outline the dynamics of temporal (not spatial) 24/7....?????

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to Floggings4You)

Post #: 113

RE: A useful sub? - 5/25/2008 5:53:06 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Someone suggested having a submissive be useful was "abusive" to some schools of thought.

As a submissive, being told I was not useful anymore would be an insult.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 114

RE: A useful sub? - 5/25/2008 6:44:22 PM

HornyToadsMI

Posts: 287
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Someone suggested having a submissive be useful was "abusive" to some schools of thought.

Sort of like people who "hard limit" housework.

Personally,if someone is living under my roof, I expect them to do thier share-it's not as if I do not do the same. Do you think a sub should be willing to work?

I have heard of some submissives being furniture - so as a chair or foot stool they are very useful.

But, in a 24/7 situation, if it is defined that the sub do the housework (like in our family) then it should be done. :) Anyone who hard limits housework needs to grow up and get real - move out of mommy's basement. I actually get pleasure from knowing He has clean clothes and food ready to eat.

_____________________________

i have the best job in the world - my Boss whips me!!!

Go with your gut - yes, I am being a Smart Ass!

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 115

RE: A useful sub? - 5/25/2008 6:46:22 PM

HornyToadsMI

Posts: 287
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: Floggings4You

If the person is living with you, then the relationship is 24/7. Thus, it seems to Me that you're referring to M/s, not D/s...

No.....not IMPO.
How many more times do I have to outline the dynamics of temporal (not spatial) 24/7....?????

Prin - I agree. :) We are a 50's household, and i am not a slave - although there are days that it feels like it (typing with my feet up and sipping my Killians as everyone sleeps.....)

_____________________________

i have the best job in the world - my Boss whips me!!!

Go with your gut - yes, I am being a Smart Ass!

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 116

RE: A useful sub? - 5/26/2008 8:01:56 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HornyToadsMI
Anyone who hard limits housework needs to grow up and get real - move out of mommy's basement.

Well, I *did* hard limit housework, but, as stated earlier in the thread...it was a joke.
Otoh, HoneyMaster and I did have long talks about what would be expected of me, and as I explained to Him, (and He appreciates) I am more of a "pleasure slave" than a housework slave.
Although I def. do my share of that as well...

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to HornyToadsMI)

Post #: 117

RE: A useful sub? - 5/26/2008 8:27:32 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Someone suggested having a submissive be useful was "abusive" to some schools of thought.

Really??? I have never seen that thought myself.... I have seen the idea USING a submissive was abusive... but never a submissive being Useful was abusive.

Can't say I understand where a person is coming from with that line of thought

I unfortunately do.

I've seen women from places like this-who seem to think that all they have to do is be able to fog up a mirror-and they are all set up to be worshipped. Asking anything else of them is simply out of line.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 118

RE: A useful sub? - 5/26/2008 9:57:57 AM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavegirljoy

If it's considered abusive to be made to clean the house that you live in, i guess i need to find a "cleanaholics 12 step program" somewhere, because obviously, i am abusing myself and have been since about age 9.

While i may not be an outright O-C 'clean freak', if i sit too long in a waiting room, i will spontaneously start straightening up the magazines lying about and if someone has left a piece of trash behind, i will put it in the trash bin.

If i'm not feeling useful, i feel like i'm wasting valuable time and i will look for ways to feel more useful. Am i sick, or what?

joy
Owned servant of Master David

Oh, this brought a smile to my face.....let me know when you find this 12 step program, please.

I'm one of the strange and unusual.....I find housework to be meditative. It's difficult for me to be in a house that is messy and not want to pick-up. If I was in a live-in /24/7 situation, of course I would clean. But, that being said, I feel everyone should contribute to the care and upkeep of a home....Master included. I'll do dishes, run the vaccum (naked, as was suggested, sounds fine), do laundry and I'm wicked/good at being able to organize. Cleaning a toilet is my be a limit, however!
Everyone has their talents/abilites/limits and all that should be, pardon the pun, "ironed out" before ANY type of relationship.
I'll polish the silver and serve you high tea and clean up afterwards but I won't be working on any vehicle, mowing the lawn or taking out the trash.....sorry.

just my 2 cents,

carrie

(in reply to slavegirljoy)

Post #: 119

RE: A useful sub? - 5/26/2008 5:06:43 PM

Vigilantejustice

Posts: 106
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

But I'm just in it to be of sexual service!

vacuum cleaning in a sexy way counts too

High Heels + Cultured pearl necklace + Fuck-me-red lipstick = Vacuuming at House Vigilante.

MeYow.

_____________________________

“Love begets love. This torment is my joy.”
"Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries."
"[Your work] is carved out of agony as a statue is carved out of marble." -All by Theodore Roethke

(in reply to Justme696)

Post #: 120

Page: << < prev 3 4 5 [6] 7 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: A useful sub?

Page: << < prev 3 4 5 [6] 7 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094