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RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! - 5/25/2008 11:47:49 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Could I send you my hand, too?  I have a send-hand fetish... and you are hott!

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
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(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! - 5/25/2008 11:52:03 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Awww, thank you Red. <blush>

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! - 5/25/2008 1:37:10 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Gee, overreact much? So, yeah, mail me the hand. We'll have it stuffed and mounted.


*grins* stuffed? mounted? Where??

(sorry... the visual I got made me say that...)


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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! - 5/25/2008 1:45:49 PM   
dragon2760


Posts: 114
Joined: 5/8/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Gee, overreact much? So, yeah, mail me the hand. We'll have it stuffed and mounted.


*grins* stuffed? mounted? Where??

(sorry... the visual I got made me say that...)




(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! - 5/25/2008 3:15:34 PM   
rulemylife


Posts: 14614
Joined: 8/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: rulemylife

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: rulemylife
Look at the profiles of women who advertise themselves as slaves on here.  Hell, just look at those that call themselves submissive, 90% are anything but. 
I always find this funny. Just because I'm not submissive towards you means that I'm not submissive to anyone, in your opinion.  Which is incorrect. People that I show no submissiveness towards are people where I'm the more dominant person. So, what you're claiming as something lacking in me, could actually be something that is lacking in the other person.

So, here's the reality, if I don't behave in a submissive manner towards you, it's because I don't find you to be a Dominant.

Here's the other part of the reality. I'm am owned submissive and have been for over 8 years to the same man. He's an alpha male that inspires my submission.


quote:

how you should treat them when you're not dominating them. 
Everyone has the right to be happy. It's why we've gotten into what we do. The way to get what makes you happy is to be specific about what you want from a relationship. If the relationship does not hold the promise of meeting what you need to be happy, then you move on.

I have no idea of why you think that the "s" type isn't allowed to choose their own relationship.

As for the OP: Bottom line, just because she's a slave, doesn't mean she's your slave. It also doesn't mean that she has behave as a slave to every Tom, Dick and Harry that comes along. She gets to decide what relationship she enters, so yes, she does get to have her way before she's owned. She's not your property.

YOU DO NOT GET TO DECIDE WHAT IS ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR FOR ANYONE ELSE OTHER THAN THOSE CONTRACTED TO YOU.  Get it?


Uh yeah.  Well if you scroll up a little you'll find me apologizing for that post because it was not well thought out or well written.  Do I need to cut off my hand and send it to you to retract it?

Gee, overreact much? So, yeah, mail me the hand. We'll have it stuffed and mounted.

No, not much.  Just wondering why I needed to have 7 paragraphs of you bitching at me about something I already said I was mistaken about.




(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! - 5/25/2008 3:40:56 PM   
rulemylife


Posts: 14614
Joined: 8/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: msobedience

quote:


This is a lot of qualifying and rationalizing but the fact is you are a slave or not a slave.  You can make up your own definitions for the term but go to any dictionary and there is only one.  Yes, if you are a slave you are a doormat, or any other thing your Owner wants you to be.  While you may have a "mind of your own" it is always subordinate to your Owner's will.  Anything less is not a slave, by definition.


It sounds to me as if your definition of slave is based on the most oppressive examples and while historically that has doubtless most often the case, it's also true that some slave-owning societies enacted laws that gave slaves protection, security and rights.  The slaves didn't have to be whatever the owner wanted, and they weren't always necessarily subordinate to his will - yet, they were still slaves in the truest sense of the word ... that of chattel.  Today, bdsm slaves are not 'chattel' and from that definition, they are not and never can be a slave, period, regardless of their level of submission or resemblance to a doormat.  

I'm pretty sure what you really meant to say in that last line is:  "Anything less is not a slave, by MY definition".  Right?   :)




No, I guess that's the whole point of the discussion though.  Everyone wants to "personalize" how they view the term.  Interesting thing about language.  People apply their own definitions to it.  Apply the same thing to mathematics and it doesn't quite work.  "The $100 I have in my checking account I believe is worth $200 because I worked twice as hard to get it as you did."  That's my definition so it should be right, huh?  There has to be some absolutes or things lose their meaning.

(in reply to msobedience)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! - 5/25/2008 4:14:10 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		Why does there have to be an absolute truth? So you can fit everything and everyone into a convenient box?
In a world as diverse as bdsm its not possible to have one true meaning other than your own personal truths.
As long as you don't push those personal truths on others as if they are the one and only true meaning its all good.

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If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to rulemylife)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! - 5/25/2008 5:06:04 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rulemylife

"The $100 I have in my checking account I believe is worth $200 because I worked twice as hard to get it as you did."  That's my definition so it should be right, huh?  There has to be some absolutes or things lose their meaning.


well there is an intrinsic value to those 100 dollars.. and you just might be right that you worked twice as hard as someone else who earned a 100 dollars.  Problem is.. objectively it is very hard to quantify those instrinsic values.. so each person has their own subjective value of those 100 dollars.. and frankly, there is some that do hold more value to those dollars than others.  Not unlike submissive, slave etc.. all subjective values..

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to rulemylife)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! - 5/25/2008 5:07:35 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

The slave that was captured  by force, sold in in a slave auction as property, if you wanted to you could rape and beat, chop off their hand, kill them   and not be charged with abuse, starve  or murder  since they hard no human rights nor did you need consent since you quite literally owned them ar could do what ever you chose with them  ...try the same with a consensual slave  today  even the role of master is changed  and varies not just the slave


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Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! - 5/25/2008 5:20:45 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rulemylife

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: rulemylife

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: rulemylife
Look at the profiles of women who advertise themselves as slaves on here.  Hell, just look at those that call themselves submissive, 90% are anything but. 
I always find this funny. Just because I'm not submissive towards you means that I'm not submissive to anyone, in your opinion.  Which is incorrect. People that I show no submissiveness towards are people where I'm the more dominant person. So, what you're claiming as something lacking in me, could actually be something that is lacking in the other person.

So, here's the reality, if I don't behave in a submissive manner towards you, it's because I don't find you to be a Dominant.

Here's the other part of the reality. I'm am owned submissive and have been for over 8 years to the same man. He's an alpha male that inspires my submission.


quote:

how you should treat them when you're not dominating them. 
Everyone has the right to be happy. It's why we've gotten into what we do. The way to get what makes you happy is to be specific about what you want from a relationship. If the relationship does not hold the promise of meeting what you need to be happy, then you move on.

I have no idea of why you think that the "s" type isn't allowed to choose their own relationship.

As for the OP: Bottom line, just because she's a slave, doesn't mean she's your slave. It also doesn't mean that she has behave as a slave to every Tom, Dick and Harry that comes along. She gets to decide what relationship she enters, so yes, she does get to have her way before she's owned. She's not your property.

YOU DO NOT GET TO DECIDE WHAT IS ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR FOR ANYONE ELSE OTHER THAN THOSE CONTRACTED TO YOU.  Get it?


Uh yeah.  Well if you scroll up a little you'll find me apologizing for that post because it was not well thought out or well written.  Do I need to cut off my hand and send it to you to retract it?

Gee, overreact much? So, yeah, mail me the hand. We'll have it stuffed and mounted.

No, not much.  Just wondering why I needed to have 7 paragraphs of you bitching at me about something I already said I was mistaken about.




  I wasn't bitching, I was merely pointing out an opposing view point to something that I see repeated over and over and over. It wasn't a personal attack, it was an explaination of why the logic was faulty. And lastly, I can accept that you apologized for the post, but that doesn't erase the fact that the post exists.








_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to rulemylife)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! - 5/25/2008 5:50:31 PM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		i think its hard to make a pitch - especially when youre reasonably new and looking.  a sub/slave cant be a generic format any more than a dominant can be.

subs/slaves, maybe new, get advice from others like - dont be too easy, dont say youll submit to anything and everything - youre a strong, powerful person in your own right, dont be a push over, say who you are, what you want, where you want it all to take you.  they are making a pitch that sounds strong because if they came across as meak and malliable they'd be bombarded by every wannabe with not an ounce of dominance inside of them, looking for a 'doormat' to boss about.

i would think that most subs/slaves need to feel valued and their submission understood absolutely.  so to say they are not a doormat is simply pointing out to those with little understanding, that their submission will be given willingly but only to someone who takes it from them with intelligence and consideration.

having said that i am sure there are some who take the title of sub or slave without fully understanding how that works in D/s. and maybe they are more player than out and out D/s sub.  but in the end, it doesnt much matter because ultimately they are looking for what suits them best and thats all that any of us are doing when you boil it right down.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! - 5/25/2008 6:33:19 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirromancerX

It's too bad we don't have a word that means borderline slave/submissive, slave(but not quite), or slave with limts), because that's what most "slaves" actually are.


"Slavissive"?
 
And we can call those that are part dominant and part tomato, dominatos.
 
Generally, I agree with you.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to SirromancerX)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! - 5/25/2008 6:56:56 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		dominatos?? *snortSNICKERsnortsnort*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! - 5/25/2008 6:57:28 PM   
HornyToadsMI


Posts: 287
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rulemylife

quote:

ORIGINAL: Phin

~FR~



I had this conversation last night. People have to define everything. My girl is My girl, period. Does it matter what she is called? she is who she is, and I am who I am. Who gives a shit what its called? If I want to call her slave, I will, but she does not have to live up to your standtards. her job is to make my happy.

This whole things is a sore spot for me...




Yeah, it does kind of matter.  It's a sore spot for me too, only for different reasons.  Truth in advertising.  I understand exactly what the OP is saying.  Look at the profiles of women who advertise themselves as slaves on here.  Hell, just look at those that call themselves submissive, 90% are anything but.  Most are pretty blunt and many vicious, telling exactly how you should dominate them, what you should like, the income level you should have, and how you should treat them when you're not dominating them.  Thank God I like dominant women, at least I know what I'm getting upfront. 



Makes me glad I am a switch - then I either fly under the radar, or piss everyone off!!!  :)

OP - I do understand what you are saying, but is it possible that maybe you have a "romantic" view of M/s?  It may not be instant kismet, it usually requires some time, and patience....like growing a garden.  So, find some good soil, plant some seeds....see where it goes.  If the plants dont grow....find other ground.  :)

BTW, not all sumissives/slaves on here are looking.  Alot of them are already taken. Or had bad relationships.  :)  Good luck with your search!

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i have the best job in the world - my Boss whips me!!!

Go with your gut - yes, I am being a Smart Ass!

(in reply to rulemylife)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! - 5/25/2008 6:58:47 PM   
HornyToadsMI


Posts: 287
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirromancerX

It's too bad we don't have a word that means borderline slave/submissive, slave(but not quite), or slave with limts), because that's what most "slaves" actually are.


"Slavissive"?
 
And we can call those that are part dominant and part tomato, dominatos.
 
Generally, I agree with you.


That makes me hungry.......LOL. 

_____________________________

i have the best job in the world - my Boss whips me!!!

Go with your gut - yes, I am being a Smart Ass!

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! - 5/25/2008 7:05:28 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		yum..tomatos.. fresh off the vine, still warm from the sun, with a light sprinkle of salt.. *drool*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to HornyToadsMI)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! - 5/25/2008 7:05:55 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

dominatos?? *snortSNICKERsnortsnort*


 at the peeker
 


_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! - 5/25/2008 7:07:05 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HornyToadsMI

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirromancerX

It's too bad we don't have a word that means borderline slave/submissive, slave(but not quite), or slave with limts), because that's what most "slaves" actually are.


"Slavissive"?
 
And we can call those that are part dominant and part tomato, dominatos.
 
Generally, I agree with you.


That makes me hungry.......LOL. 


 Yes, like GT said, for fresh tomatoes, or a bag of cool ranch Doritos, even.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to HornyToadsMI)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! - 5/25/2008 7:08:17 PM   
HornyToadsMI


Posts: 287
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirromancerX

The word "slave" means something very definitive and we need to stop tossing it around so liberally.

 
Here in lies some of the problem.  Definitions are subjective at times.  This is a grey area....You need to define what a slave is TO YOU, what you expect, and then someone will fall in that category.  Dont punish others because they dont fit your definition.  :) 

_____________________________

i have the best job in the world - my Boss whips me!!!

Go with your gut - yes, I am being a Smart Ass!

(in reply to Floggings4You)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! - 5/25/2008 7:11:33 PM   
HornyToadsMI


Posts: 287
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

yum..tomatos.. fresh off the vine, still warm from the sun, with a light sprinkle of salt.. *drool*


With tomorrow being Memorial Day, all I can think about is Bar-B-Q'ing!!!! 

Level - you bring the Doritos and ranch to dip the "slavissives" in , GT you bring the Dominatos and the salt.......Yum.....

_____________________________

i have the best job in the world - my Boss whips me!!!

Go with your gut - yes, I am being a Smart Ass!

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 80
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