Owner4SexSlave
Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: subtee
May I ask you, Owner, is this the conclusion of your recent mullings? Will this conclusion change your behavior in any way? [Feel free to share or not, as you are comfortable, of course.]
Subtree, my name is Chaz (for those who don't already know). This account I'd using actually was a secondary account, I can't reopen whiplashsmile and have it link back up to the message boards here.
I've been mulling a lot of things around lately, just not BDSM, even with Music and work. Being Diverse, Open Minded and Eclectic has it's advantages and it has it's draw backs at the same time. BDSM is in many regards similar to different Genres of Music. Anyways, I Love many things and aspects.
I've been mulling around the Pro's and Con's of my past relationships, trying to go ennie, mennie, minny, moe... Should I go M/s again, Dom Couple, D/s... Just what the hell is my set preference. In all honestly, It has very little to do with the type of relationship and more about the actual relationship itself.
Personally, I tend to get along with either and s or D type. It's more a question of personality and mentality. I wish I could say any submissive would do, or any Domme or vanilla girl would do, but that's not the case.
There are aspects of M/s and Dom couple relationships that I really sincerely enjoyed. A little hard to pick on specific. Kind of like trying to come up with an honest answer when somebody asks what if your most favorite christmas gift you've ever recieved. LOL... Sorry, I've recieved many gifts over the years that I've honestly enjoyed.
I know that any relationship I'm in does not magically make me any less DOM. Trust me, my attempts at trying to Squeeze into some Vanilla reality totally failed me.
Basically, I feel I need to be with a like minded partner, or somebody who's rather adaptive to my Domly Personality. Yes, I do enjoy one who serves me and is there for me. Make no mistake I enjoy slaves/submissives, I also enjoy Dom think tanks and the whole mutual friction and pushing. Anyways, again it's not the relationship structure as much as it is the personality of whom I'm involved with.
I have very little patience for somebody who's not really all that bright. For example, one relationship I was in, I came home to smoldering mess in the Oven. She had taken the pie out of the tin and placed it center rack without anything else under it. Now, the house was full of smoke, the oven was a mess. OK, I was upset. However, I calmly said "Before you cook or bake anything, read the directions and follow them!". I never once in my life would have thought I would have had to come up with such a Rule for another human being to follow. I know in her heart, and god bless her soul, she was trying to do something to please me and suprise me with a bite of my favorite pie. Understanding this really tempered me a lot that day. But in all honestly, people who are not the sharpest tools in the shed, tend to wear on my patience and understanding.
I Love artistic and creative minds, makes a difference in how decor around the house comes to life, clothing worn, mutual interests in Art Galleries or simple appreciation for scenic natural things. Drawing, Photography, Painting, Music, sculpture work. If I want to go to places such as Art Gallery, a sculpure park, I don't want to deal with somebody who's all down and out about going places like that. Need to either be with somebody with a mutual interest, or somebody that enjoys the fact that I enjoy going to places like this and it pleases me.
So far, I've expressed things that really are more relative to personality or general relationship dynamics.
Now when it comes down to Kinky BDSM activitities, I'm best suited with somebody who has similar interests, or again somebody who enjoys that fact that I'm enjoying things I enjoy doing and that it pleases me.
Yes, I'm wicked nasty man that enjoys doing dirty things to girls. Yes, I tend to have a high sex drive and when I want sex, I want it. Tends to work out, that I need to be with somebody who enjoys sex just as much, or somebody who's into being used for sex, because it pleases me and yes, I enjoy it. A conflict in this department, and I'm just not really a happy camper.
I enjoy many BDSM activities, Bondage, S&M, erotic and sensual. Yes, I do love rough sex, but that's not the be all of my world. Yes, I love flogging and spanking somebody, I love being that big bad mean man, face slapping, choking, hair pulling, name calling kinky bastard. I'll pull out bag full of clothes pins and use them on you, without thinking twice about it.
OK, I need to be with somebody who won't freak out and take off out the door, when I pull out the Clothes Pins or flogger, or the Restaints and rope. I want somebody who loves having this stuff used on them, or is willing because it's something I enjoy doing and it pleases me.
There are other things, such as when I come up with a game plan, or a course of action in direction, or the ways of dealing with something, I tend to not change my course. Kind of like the proverbial "Through Hell or Highwater" mentality. I do have an open mind to talk about things, share with somebody my reasoning. Hence, again, I want somebody who is intelligent enough to make me stop and rethink things, if they honestly feel I'm about to make a mistake. However, I don't deal well with somebody who challenges me without any basis of logical reasoning behind it. It really does little to change my mind. Boils back down to my Domly Nature to want to have the ultimate decision/choice. So in all honestly, it takes somebody intelligent to challenge me enough. Somebody who is mindlessly up my ass about something, does not go over well with me. Trust me!
I do tend to boss, instruct, command, suggest, order, assert myself with other people. All depends up the position or role I'm in at the time. Be it work, in a band, a relationship with somebody. This is just the way that I am. I tend to get along well with other people that understand that I'm a Dom personality, and that I'm willing to hear whatever they have to say. In fact, I'm a bit of a feedback junkie, asking questions at times. I do have my moments, when I'm withdrawn, and I'm in deep thought working a problem or solution out in my mind. I have started giving direction, when at first people did not see the path I was taking, however once they saw the path, they fully understood it without question.
I tend to have some method to my own madness. Please do not fuck with my method nor madness too much. Please jump in now and again and play with it some. Even more so when I invite you into my methods and madness for a little Think Tank or brainstorming session.
Intelligence, creative, mutual interests, or somebody who enjoys pleasing me, somebody who can assert their thoughts relationally, somebody who can respect my space in the order of the universe, One with an Open mind or a willing nature to do things I want to do.
A D/s or a M/s or a Dom couple, or even getting hooked up with a good kinky crazy off the wall vanilla girl. What's the difference as long as things click together well?
Has to be somebody that can deal with my Domly nature and ways of doing things. Sure D/s seems like the most logical fit, but it's not the only option. I know better, because of my own past realtionships and experiences.
I do have my own defined ways for what a Master/slave relationship is all about for me. Based on my own experiences thus far. Do I have to own a slave? Not really. Hell, I've seen a number of slave profiles on the other side, and forget it. I'd rather stay single before having them as a slave. If they were my slave, I might have to consider beating common sense into them with a flogger or something. Some serious thought retraining or hell, I might have to study up and learn the fine art of brainwashing. LOL...
Who knows, I might just encounter a wonderful kinky vanilla girl next week while I'm out someplace.
Another aspect is physical attraction, I know I need this for things to work as well.
I've been backing up lately, and reflecting upon the personality and other things I feel that make or break a relationship for me, and it's not all about D/s or M/s or Dom couples. Hope this makes some sense to you.
I have come to realize that there is a lot Fantasy and Fear, involved with interacting with people on CM or other similar websites. There's a bit of a difference in the air, since the internet explosion as well. It's a trade off, because it's great to be able to communicate with people all over the world, however many people are less then what they paint themselves to be at times. Worse yet, some people try to up play and posture their orientations to the Max. Putting on a good show of being extremely this or that. The whole human factor and aspects tend to get buried. Reality of day to day living sort of fades, and people wonder how you can live this lifestyle 24/7. Mean time, I've been sitting here asking myself how the hell I tried living some half assed Vanilla life for a decade...
For me personally, I'm just going to be open and honest with anybody about things I like, enjoy, want to do, and who and what I am. See what happens leaving the door open to vanilla girls, switches, submissives, slaves and even Dommes.
Hope this post makes some form of sense. Hope this does not blow anybody's mind. I'm kinda stuck in my Orientation department of being a Dom, something I myself and whoever I've involved with has to deal with.
In terms of my behavior, I've been a little conflicted with myself... I'm starting to settle back down and be a little more at ease. I do have my own qirks mind you, I can be rather opinionated at times.
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