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ORIGINAL:
Sexually, I just get to a point when there are no bells and whistles that my mind starts to wander and I just loose the emotional intimacy and I get to a point where it almost doesn't seem worth the effort. Not to say that every single time has to be a full blown sceen, but when sex becomes routine, almost scripted, I become apathetic.

So mine isn't really so much a choice of being vanilla or not, it's finding a like minded partner who can appreciate how I function and we both find fulfillment. If the outlet were to be denied to me entirely, at this point I'd choose to be solitary rather then try to make my square peg fit into the round hole.

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ORIGINAL:
I detest when people slate and put down vanilla relationships, and seem to perceive the BDSM is the better lifestyle.

Some people have children, families and very loving vanilla relationships, and BDSM is an extension of their lifestyle also and interests.

Some people need to get real, and stop analysing whats the best, or the better way to enhance their lifestyles whatever direction.

Simply to love yourselves, and feel that genuine love, passion from others is what is important, whatever labels folk wanna fix on it, thats upto them!

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ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave

For me personally, I'm just going to be open and honest with anybody about things I like, enjoy, want to do, and who and what I am.  See what happens leaving the door open to vanilla girls, switches, submissives, slaves and even Dommes.

Hope this post makes some form of sense.  Hope this does not blow antibody's mind.   I'm kinda stuck in my Orientation department of being a Dom, something I myself and whoever I've involved with has to deal with.

In terms of my behavior, I've been a little conflicted with myself... I'm starting to settle back down and be a little more at ease.  I do have my own quirks mind you, I can be rather opinionated at times.

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ORIGINAL: MasterZen22

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ORIGINAL:
Sexually, I just get to a point when there are no bells and whistles that my mind starts to wander and I just loose the emotional intimacy and I get to a point where it almost doesn't seem worth the effort. Not to say that every single time has to be a full blown sceen, but when sex becomes routine, almost scripted, I become apathetic.

So mine isn't really so much a choice of being vanilla or not, it's finding a like minded partner who can appreciate how I function and we both find fulfillment. If the outlet were to be denied to me entirely, at this point I'd choose to be solitary rather then try to make my square peg fit into the round hole.

That is interesting Omega, thanks for sharing. About "making a square peg fit into a round hole," I would like to get your opinion on something.

I think we all probably try to get what we want (bdsm) sexually in a relationship. But sometimes people can begin a relationship with someone in a vanilla way and then try to introduce aspects of bdsm to it later... what are your thoughts on that?

Some people would calling trying to shift a vanilla relationship into a more bdsm one "trying to change your partner" which is never healthy. But on the other hand, maybe some vanilla people have always wanted to try bdsm but were too scared to bring it up, so asking them might be a good thing.

Most people would agree that it's best to be honest about your desires upfront, towards the beginnng of a relationship, but i think most of us have at some point in our lives been in a relationship that is too vanilla, so I'd like to hear everyones take on this.