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Submissive or Slave - 5/30/2008 5:08:07 PM

mypet37

Posts: 16
Joined: 5/24/2008
Status: offline

How do you know?
i have followed my master as a submissive -but more and more the tendacy is towards slave, He has referred to me as both. He calls me his pet. i am finding it more difficult to simply interract with Him, simply obey.

ALL i want to do is please Him, so much so that i have avoided using my safe word do that i do not disappoint Him (although he assures me it is ok to use if, if i need to) i very rarely have.

sorry for offending with my naivety...

< Message edited by mypet37 -- 5/30/2008 5:15:07 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Submissive or Slave - 5/30/2008 5:11:17 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

Oh god..no.

_____________________________

marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to mypet37)

Post #: 2

RE: Submissive or Slave - 5/30/2008 5:18:26 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

You are what you feel you are and what he feels you are. Nobody else can tell you that, since they aren't within your dynamic. As far as your safeword: if you feel like you've reached a point where you need it - for godssakes USE it... otherwise, you risk becoming a BROKEN TOY...

:)

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to marieToo)

Post #: 3

RE: Submissive or Slave - 5/30/2008 5:23:22 PM

lilabbotsfordgrl

Posts: 140
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline

You're whoever you feel you are and hopefully will manage to continue being yourself without word categories to compartmentalize and define you.

If that doesn't work, I'd say you're definitely a type 47, and on the Barkenflaggen scale, a G-omega of the 8th segment (with moderate rasberry undertones).

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 4

RE: Submissive or Slave - 5/30/2008 5:37:30 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

*snort*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to lilabbotsfordgrl)

Post #: 5

RE: Submissive or Slave - 5/30/2008 5:43:31 PM

kinkypuppy2

Posts: 345
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline

"YOU'RE" allowed a safe word....
Don't tell my slave that :-)

_____________________________

See nic "Kinkypupper" also as "slvseeker" As I cannot reply to any posts or log into collarchat under that name I had to create this profile.

(in reply to mypet37)

Post #: 6

RE: Submissive or Slave - 5/30/2008 6:58:10 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

So you're choosing how to best serve him by withholding using your safeword when you feel it's a good idea to do so? But yet you have his desires most in mind?

How does disregarding what he has told you because of how you feel putting him first exactly?

Call yourself whatever you want for whatever reason you want- but be sure to let him know when you're actively going to NOT use the communication tools he has given you and reassured you are to use so he knows you not only don't have that level of trust and security with eachother yet but that he can't actually rely on you in the scene.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mypet37)

Post #: 7

RE: Submissive or Slave - 5/30/2008 7:02:06 PM

celticlord2112

Posts: 5732
Status: offline

Ok, if we're going to hash this out yet again, I want popcorn!

to the OP.....you belong to your master....call yourself slave, sub, subbie, submissive, slut, or ham and cheese on rye for all anyone else cares.

(although if you DO elect to go with the ham and cheese option, beware the mustard. It can sting

)

_____________________________

(in reply to mypet37)

Post #: 8

RE: Submissive or Slave - 5/30/2008 7:22:42 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Call yourself whatever works best for the two of you. I'm partial to pet, myself.

About not using the safeword. A lot of newbies go through this, thinking it's more submissive to suffer in silence. However, what it really is, is lying to him. Think about it. He has commanded you to tell him when he's going to cause damage, physical or emotional, since he's smart enough to know he can't read your mind. You don't safeword when you should, and then he can't play with you for a week while you're healing, or you flinch any time he brings out the toy bag and break down in tears at the mere thought of pain. Instead of being available for fun and games, you are denying him access to you, sometimes just for a period of days, and sometimes for much longer.

Whereas if you had just told him the truth in the beginning, he wouldn't have to retire his favorite toy and he could play with you again the next day.

How it works out here usually is because of the side of the bed he sleeps on, he mainly tweaks my right nipple. If I don't speak up when it's getting too sore, he can't touch it at bedtime until it heals. Since he goes to sleep with a firm grip on it (and don't ask me how that works because I haven't a clue) if I don't speak up, then he's miserable at bedtime. Whereas if I say "hey, switch sides please, that one hurts", then it's available for tweaking the next day.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to celticlord2112)

Post #: 9

RE: Submissive or Slave - 5/30/2008 7:29:36 PM

califsue

Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline

my question for you is why are you finding it difficult to interact with him.

if it is because he calls you slave and that bothers you then you need to find out what the difference between slave and submissive mean to him. you will have a million and one different answers here on the boards if you ask and the most important person to talk to is your Master. the first and foremost of any relationship is communication and without knowing more you need to communicate with him.

(in reply to celticlord2112)

Post #: 10

RE: Submissive or Slave - 5/30/2008 8:27:43 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I am also missing why you have trouble interacting with him. It doesnt matter what I call my boys, they are mine. I can call them pet, slut, slave, bitch, girl, boy, sub... you get the idea. The name isnt important, the intraction is. If you are having trouble interacting with him than it doesntmatter if you are a sub or a slave, ther are problems budding in that relationship.
Also, if you refuse to use your safeword and something happens that causes injury or emotinoal problems, you are more likely to disappoint your Msater than if you used it as you were told to do and stayed safe. Just keep that in mind, a good Master is more concerned with the long term well being of their pets than the short term enjoyment. We cannot play with broken toys.
DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to califsue)

Post #: 11

RE: Submissive or Slave - 5/30/2008 9:20:50 PM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

I am not seeing a question in here - how do you know - what?

A safeword is a communications device, so in my book you clearly don't communicate.

(in reply to mypet37)

Post #: 12

RE: Submissive or Slave - 5/30/2008 10:15:55 PM

Kirata

Posts: 15477
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
Status: offline

I'll go with what LA said on this one.

Sounds like you want to use him to go off on your own little trip into some kind of "slaveland" -- if only he wouldn't make it so hard by interrupting.

K.

(in reply to mypet37)

Post #: 13

RE: Submissive or Slave - 5/31/2008 9:04:27 AM

goodpet

Posts: 458
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mypet37
.....
i am finding it more difficult to simply interract with Him, simply obey
......

Have you asked him if that is what he wants? Does he want a robotic slave to simply obey and not have a relationship with him? obedience is good, solves a lot of issues *grin* but to not interact or communicate needs and safety, that is more leaning towards a robot, or even the dreaded doormat comment.

Communication is key to playing on the edge my dear. How safe will he feel to push the edge if he knows you will not communicate your needs and risk breaking you in different ways?

being a slave is fine, nice title. I love mine. but the name or title does not take my responsibilty away to let my Master know what is going on in my head and body. Sir plays hard but only because he know i will tell him if i have reached a point i need to slow down or back off of.

good luck

(in reply to mypet37)

Post #: 14

RE: Submissive or Slave - 5/31/2008 11:04:53 AM

SirDominic

Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

mypet,
I think we could offer much more useful advice if you could clarify what it is you are asking. On the one hand you say all you want to do is please him. Just before that you say you are finding it more difficult to interract with him, to obey. That's about as 180 as it gets. What are you asking by saying "How do you know?" Know what????

_____________________________

You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to mypet37)

Post #: 15

RE: Submissive or Slave - 5/31/2008 11:36:50 AM

mypet37

Posts: 16
Joined: 5/24/2008
Status: offline

yes, let me clarify, there is a tremendous amount of good advice here. Firstly, I have posed this question to my Master, for which i am awaiting a reply. We see each other in limited amounts, as our vanilla world places restrictions. Casual conversive meetings have become less frequent, chat- less, email- less. i fully realize that He is a busy person, as am i. We DO make the best of the time that we find with each other. and we communicate. it is true, i have retracted myself, that is why i am here and asking, i need to learn from the experiences of others why i do what i do. i appreciate some good answers here.

as for not using my safe word. i know that i can. i do not think i would let myself become broken. i have trusted Master to push me. I have used it. i felt i let myself down as much as him (although, i do not believe i let Him down, i just feel i have) . i want to grow. i want to be as strong as He would like to see me become. i have to learn, and is a life long foible, when to surrender and when to be strong. I also have to learn to accept the roll in others- Master - in learning this. i have been alone to navigate my trepidations for so long. And it is i who limits communication for concern of being misunderstood.. again.. part of learning.. is unlearning.

the question is then this; what makes one a slave vs a submissive. is it the fine line between wanting to ... and having to. And for the record, yes, very new. This journey has been 4 eventful months.

(in reply to SirDominic)

Post #: 16

RE: Submissive or Slave - 5/31/2008 12:08:35 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

There is nothing that makes a difference between slave or submissive EXCEPT for what your MASTER DESIRES. I posted that bold because you don't seem to comprehend that is what counts.
You are knowingly disregarding your Masters instruction.

And that means you are leading and taking charge, making you the dominant in your relationship.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to mypet37)

Post #: 17

RE: Submissive or Slave - 5/31/2008 12:17:44 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mypet37
the question is then this; what makes one a slave vs a submissive. is it the fine line between wanting to ... and having to.

What makes one a slave vs a submissive is what your Master chooses to call you. To each of us, this has a different meaning. Fox was listed as a submissive when I met him, and changed it to slave when he was collared. Angel was a slave when I met him, and deleted his account when he was collared.
Fox has a joke in his profile that he is a Sherpa, depending on who you ask. The point is, it doesnt matter how many letters follow the s you have tacked to your name... what matters is how you interact with your Dominant. Restricting communication to lower the risk of being misunderstood is not a good way of doing things. You aren your Master are not horses, you should not need blinders to make the world easier to handle. If there are misunderstandings they have to be had and worked through, not avoided. You cannot grow when you avoid the building blocks.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to mypet37)

Post #: 18

RE: Submissive or Slave - 5/31/2008 12:27:37 PM

dcnovice

Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

How do you know?

Submissives are fatter than slaves.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to mypet37)

Post #: 19

RE: Submissive or Slave - 5/31/2008 12:30:02 PM

DickDuster

Posts: 14
Joined: 5/14/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

quote:

How do you know?

Submissives are fatter than slaves.

O now you've done it

(in reply to dcnovice)

Post #: 20

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