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RE: What men fear regarding marriage - 6/2/2008 12:38:16 PM   
kittinSol


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY


Men can now easily get a piece of ass without having to get married.  Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?




One of the biggest reasons why women arent wanting to get married is, "why buy the whole pig, just for a little sausage"
smirkles



Oh, that was brilliant .

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RE: What men fear regarding marriage - 6/2/2008 1:28:26 PM   
Vendaval


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Status: offline 		Fast reply -
 
In general, persons whose parents divorced when they were young tend to be wary of the institution of marriage.  Amongst my college friends, most opt to live together first before making a legal committment.
 
Vendaval

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So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
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RE: What men fear regarding marriage - 6/2/2008 4:08:02 PM   
Irishknight


Posts: 2016
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline 		I am on my second marriage and I am quite happy that we took that step. We were already living together and we both said, "This won't change things."  WRONG!  Somehow, those word of comittment said in front of so many made our bond stronger.  We learned that some thing do seem to change.
Legally speaking, we got married for my son.  I am not his biological father so if anything had happened to her, there would have been a fight that I couldn't win to continue fulfilling my promise to take care of him.   We even went a step further 3 years later with me adopting my son.  THAT step changed the relationship between he and I as well. 
There are good reasons for marriage and, strangely enough, it either increases the love you feel or destroys the false wall you've built to pretend that you love each other.

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RE: What men fear regarding marriage - 6/2/2008 4:20:57 PM   
thornhappy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

Well men havnt changed much in many decades... what has changed in the past 20-30 years? Women. Women today are much different than they were in the 60s and 70s. And divorce rates are soaring...

Im not trying to be sexist...Im simply pointing out a correlation that cant be dismissed.


Hey!  A chance to bring back some words of wisdom from one of my statistics profs:
" Coincidence does not equal causality. "

And we're given no R^2 values or p values or even any hypotheses.  Not much of a case yet.

thornhappy

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RE: What men fear regarding marriage - 6/2/2008 4:35:02 PM   
thornhappy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY
In the "mating ritual of life" between the sexes, one of women's primary reproductive strategies has been to acquire a man with resources in order to help maximize the success of her offspring (note: this is not women's only reproductive strategy, just the one I'm discussing here).


I've never felt my ovaries ticking, and how do you figure women made these decisions back in the day when they married a week after graduating from high school?  Not a lot of history to work on there....

quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY
With the ability of women to terminate a pregnancy at any time, and with women's now greater ability to provide for both themselves and their offspring, the need of a woman for a man to provide dedicated resources through a marriage has been undermined.


First a correction:  pregnancy can not be terminated at any time.  Roe v Wade set the limit at the second trimester (if you can find a provider, which is very difficult at present) with very, very restricted 3rd trimester abortions possible (generally related to fetal demise, severe genetic abnormalities, and life of the mother.).

quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY
At the same time, men's second strategy ("sowing wild oats") has become even a lower risk strategy, as women are more willing to accept it, and often become "choosier" still before committing to a dedicated union with a man ("greener grass").


I don't know about greater acceptance; just check these boards for differing opinions.

a bit late to the thread, pardon for any repeats.

thornhappy

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RE: What men fear regarding marriage - 6/2/2008 4:38:43 PM   
thornhappy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY

uhh.  The sex drive ... has nothing to do with the reproductive instinct?   huh?

Firm


Jaysus, Firm, where do you think us horny sterile folks come from?  Mars?

thornhappy

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RE: What men fear regarding marriage - 6/2/2008 4:45:02 PM   
pinksugarsub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

Women always say men dont like to get married because of a fear of commitment.

However a study shows that it is more complicated than a fear of commitment. Some men dont marry because they fear a bad marriage, especially men who had experienced a bad divorce of their parents' as a child.

"This is the first generation of people who have grown up with bad divorces. People assume there is something wrong if you don't marry but these are men who have made a different choice and not given in to social pressures."
 
In 1980, only 6% of men over age 40 were never married. Today that number has soared to 17%. The study indicates that more and more men would rather live a life of bachelorhood than deal with the fear of marrying the wrong person, especially as divorce rates continue to rise.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080602/lf_nm_life/books_bachelors_dc


Cyberdude, i hear what Yr saying, but You seem to assume that women still desire marriage just as much now as in the past.  From my own observations, young people of both sexes today are much more reluctant to marry, thought they seem to feel comfortable living with their so or even having children with them.  i would like to see a study that looked into attitudes of both sexes, as well as gays, and didn't suffer this particular design flaw.
 
pinksugarsub

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RE: What men fear regarding marriage - 6/2/2008 4:49:27 PM   
Roselaure


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quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

Well men havnt changed much in many decades...


I could not disagree more, about American men particularly.  The "pussification" of the American male is extremely widespread. The mid 20th century man's man of my father's generation is all but extinct, more's the pity. He'd not likely feel as threatened by women as today's man.

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RE: What men fear regarding marriage - 6/2/2008 4:55:45 PM   
kittinSol


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Status: offline 		Good job American women are ballsy then. Someone's gotta do it.

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RE: What men fear regarding marriage - 6/2/2008 7:10:07 PM   
meticulousgirl


Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline 		i think it's both the fear of commitment to just one person and the fear of the unknown, that the marriage will end etc...

ok no offense but, if you walk into a relationship with a bad vibe, your negative energy is going to destroy the relationship......sometimes people do it to themselves without realizing it.

~meticulous~

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RE: What men fear regarding marriage - 6/2/2008 7:18:28 PM   
FirmhandKY


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quote:

ORIGINAL: thornhappy

quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY

uhh.  The sex drive ... has nothing to do with the reproductive instinct?   huh?

Firm


Jaysus, Firm, where do you think us horny sterile folks come from?  Mars?

thornhappy



In reference to your first post, and then this one: I'm talking about overall evolutionary strategies, not personal performance.

The sex drive in particular is specifically part of any species' reproductive behavior, regardless of whether or not it results in pregnancy, or even if offspring is not desired by the participants in the sex act.

Human beings are one of the very few species which has a sex drive not apparently chained to a females' ovulation. Most animal species have females who go into estrus, which signals that they are fertile.  Males of such species generally show little or no active sexual interest in the females until that happens.

Human females have "hidden estrus" or hidden ovulation (although some studies have shown that women appear more attractive and sexy to men when they are at the height of their fertility.  For example, one study shows that strippers who aren't on birth control make more money than strippers who are on birth control.)

One theory is that because of this "hidden ovulation" of the human female, men have adapted by showing sexual interest in females all the time, and women seem to have adapted to being able to be interested and accepting of sex even if they are not in estrus.

Or it could be that "men are pigs" indeed, and that women adopted a "hidden ovulation" to help bind a male to her to help support the offspring, offering pleasurable sex as a reward and a bribe to keep him around.

Regardless of the reason(s), you may be personally interested in sex for other than reproduction (even if you are sterile), but for the species ... it's all about reproduction.

Your instinct for sex drives you, even if you can no longer bear children.  Sex for pleasure is a by-product of our evolutionary heritage.

Firm

< Message edited by FirmhandKY -- 6/2/2008 7:23:26 PM >

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RE: What men fear regarding marriage - 6/2/2008 7:21:49 PM   
kittinSol


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quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY

For example, one study shows that strippers who aren't on birth control make more money than strippers who are on birth control.)



Which birth control? Many methods of birth control allow for ovulation to happen.

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RE: What men fear regarding marriage - 6/2/2008 7:25:33 PM   
Gwynvyd


Posts: 4949
Status: offline 		Men fear commitment? where are these men? damn I was just talking about this!

I am *hugely and vastly* a commitmentphobe. Every one of the boogers I date or even hang out with tends to want to get hitched!

*gah!*

No no no no no!

*goes to her corner and rocks herself back and forth*

ickies.

Gwyn

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RE: What men fear regarding marriage - 6/2/2008 7:41:50 PM   
FirmhandKY


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Joined: 9/21/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY

For example, one study shows that strippers who aren't on birth control make more money than strippers who are on birth control.)



Which birth control? Many methods of birth control allow for ovulation to happen.


There is a link in the post (I added it after initially posting, thinking that someone would challenge it.  Apparently, you quoted me before I made the edit).

Firm

another link:

Something in the Way She Moves?

By Constance Holden
ScienceNOW Daily News
5 October 2007


< Message edited by FirmhandKY -- 6/2/2008 7:48:40 PM >

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RE: What men fear regarding marriage - 6/2/2008 7:44:14 PM   
thornhappy


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Joined: 12/16/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY

For example, one study shows that strippers who aren't on birth control make more money than strippers who are on birth control.)



Which birth control? Many methods of birth control allow for ovulation to happen.

I saw this study before; I think they're talking about biphasic birth control pills.  I'm not sure if it including the progesterone-only pill.

thornhappy

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RE: What men fear regarding marriage - 6/2/2008 7:51:14 PM   
CraZYWiLLiE


Posts: 161
Joined: 1/24/2008
From: HD NM
Status: offline 		I have no fears, but when I can marry 3 or 4 wenches, that will be FREEDOM.

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RE: What men fear regarding marriage - 6/2/2008 7:55:17 PM   
Irishknight


Posts: 2016
Joined: 9/30/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CraZYWiLLiE

I have no fears, but when I can marry 3 or 4 wenches, that will be FREEDOM.


Correct.

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RE: What men fear regarding marriage - 6/2/2008 8:05:33 PM   
Griswold


Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

Women always say men dont like to get married because of a fear of commitment.

However a study shows that it is more complicated than a fear of commitment. Some men dont marry because they fear a bad marriage, especially men who had experienced a bad divorce of their parents' as a child.

"This is the first generation of people who have grown up with bad divorces. People assume there is something wrong if you don't marry but these are men who have made a different choice and not given in to social pressures."
 
In 1980, only 6% of men over age 40 were never married. Today that number has soared to 17%. The study indicates that more and more men would rather live a life of bachelorhood than deal with the fear of marrying the wrong person, especially as divorce rates continue to rise.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080602/lf_nm_life/books_bachelors_dc


Women (and Democrats) own the airwaves.

Don't be surprised that you're confused.  Anyone reading the local papers is.

You quoted:

"this is the first generation of people who have grown up with bad divorces. People assume there is something wrong if you don't marry but these are men who have made a different choice and not given in to social pressures."

In 1980, only 6% of men over age 40 were never married. Today that number has soared to 17%. The study indicates that more and more men would rather live a life of bachelorhood than deal with the fear of marrying the wrong person, especially as divorce rates continue to rise."

(I don't write the news)......

I can tell you this:

16% of the male population doesn't understand what 27% of the female population believes.

However, 46% of the male population is certain that 29% of the female population is confused.

22% of the under 27 age converted male and female population is absolutely convinced that over 43% of the under 39 age female population is certain that those over 46 are (equally) certain that those over 53 are without a doubt sure that those under 34 have absolutely no capacity as to understanding those under 33, and over 41.

(Which, by the way...has absolutely no bearing on those under 36 or under 44).

So...if you want to understand those under 23, or those over 46....but not those under 22 AND want an affinity with those between 38 but those under 54, but not those between 46 and 53, while including those who feel 48, but look 39, while alienating those who look 37 but feel 56....

You'll have to read my book....

Available at most commercial publishing houses....thank you....don't forget to tip your waitresses....

(I'll be here all night).

< Message edited by Griswold -- 6/2/2008 8:10:33 PM >

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RE: What men fear regarding marriage - 6/2/2008 8:12:31 PM   
hizgeorgiapeach


Posts: 1672
Status: offline 		(quick reply)
 
Men are definately not the only commitmentaphobes these days.
 
Personally I say marriage is a grand Institution - anyone who Wants to be married Needs to be Institutionalized!  Most of the guys I date start making noises about wanting a commitment from me, or mentioning the combination of that nasty "L" word and even nastier "M" word ("love" and "marriage") and then just don't get it when I shudder and become slightly nauseus at the very idea.  And this is even After telling them that I have exactly one use for males in my life - as Living Sex Toys.  If they're of the "just friends, but definately not sleeping together ever" variety - I don't even view them as male, per se - they're androgyns.

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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: What men fear regarding marriage - 6/2/2008 8:49:30 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Nah, you will have more arguing, bitching, committments, obligations and dates to remember than ever.  While getting less sleep.

                                     



quote:

ORIGINAL: Irishknight

quote:

ORIGINAL: CraZYWiLLiE

I have no fears, but when I can marry 3 or 4 wenches, that will be FREEDOM.


Correct.


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

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Profile   Post #: 60
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