What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (Full Version)

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Vendaval -> What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/2/2008 3:34:59 PM)

What are the skills, behaviors, attributes and post-modern information age devices needed
for marriage in the 21st Century?
 
                       [sm=dance.gif]
 
Please reply in your humble or not so humble opinions with beating
each other up non-consensually.
                                  [sm=pillowfight.gif]



Irishknight -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/2/2008 3:37:46 PM)

That would depend on the marriage.  I still see the most necessary skill being a sense of humor.  When shit hits the fan, you need to be able to step back and laugh at it for what it is.



Level -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/2/2008 3:40:03 PM)

Agreed on the humor, and patience, and an open mind.
 
Love doesn't hurt, either.
 
 



Vendaval -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/2/2008 3:41:35 PM)

I like the idea of separate bathrooms and closets, whenever possible.  Cuts down on the whose messier or cleaner or organized and what the f... is that smell?



Irishknight -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/2/2008 3:52:05 PM)

 
lol  my wife and I have seperate bedrooms.  I have the master bedroom with the big tub and she has her own bedroom far away from my snoring.



subtee -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/2/2008 3:58:36 PM)

To be an emotional pain slut and have an attorney on retainer...

...and speed dial.

tee hee



LaTigresse -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/2/2008 4:04:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

What are the skills, behaviors, attributes and post-modern information age devices needed
for marriage in the 21st Century?
 
                       [sm=dance.gif]
 
Please reply in your humble or not so humble opinions with beating
each other up non-consensually.
                                 [sm=pillowfight.gif]



To make getting married more painful of a process than, buying a house, having and raising two children and getting a divorce.

Then to make divorce, not an option.



SugarMyChurro -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/2/2008 4:14:11 PM)

Be a human being. Be respectful. Be considerate. Everyone needs personal space at least some of the time.

I think separate bedrooms and bathrooms (or at least 2 bathroom sink/counter spaces) is a good idea also.

Neatness counts. You can have places where messes are allowed - work in progress, whatever. But many common spaces must be kept neat and usable by anyone that needs it.

I would observe that most american women are pigs and haven't a clue how to perform basic domestic duties (cooking, cleaning, sewing, ironing, plumbing, electrical, drywall, painting, roofing, simple carpentry, gardening, etc). For me that's usually a deal-breaker. Bitch if you wanna, but I did qualify the statement with "most." FWIW, I can do all of those things. I don't like cleaning services so I clean my own house. Skills are required - at least some up front, but also a desire to learn what one doesn't know after that.

One does meet the chocolate bon-bon types. I haven't a use for them.

[8|]



SummerWind -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/2/2008 4:28:49 PM)

Giving a shit about things you don't give a shit about......



ownedgirlie -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/2/2008 4:35:45 PM)

This book.

The Seven Principles to Making Marriage Work, by John Gottman. 

I also believe it is critically important to let your partner be him/herself.  So often people try to stifle their partners, so that they fit a particular mold.  Without the freedom to be who one is, what do we have?



kittinSol -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/2/2008 4:36:44 PM)

Seriously good communication skills and no mindfucks. Mindfucks, however attractive they may seem at times, are a marriage killer: talk, talk, talk.

And make love. A lot. An intense sex life is an absolute must.



SugarMyChurro -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/2/2008 4:37:08 PM)

Sounds like a loser "opposites attract" script.

[:-]

That's not going to work. Find someone of like mind that's going down the same road as you. You have to be looking at the same goal posts along the way too.



kittinSol -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/2/2008 4:42:34 PM)

Drinking the same wine, but from different cups (inspired by Khalil Gibran).



Lashra -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/2/2008 5:10:04 PM)

Sense of humor, patience, open mind, let your partner be her/himself, communcation skills and listening skills. The ability to work together and compromise.

~Lashra



kittinSol -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/2/2008 5:12:09 PM)

Vendaval, is it time for a new hat :-)?



Vendaval -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/2/2008 7:36:21 PM)

The ability to negotiate and compromise is very important in relationships in general and marriage in particular.  Knowing when to argue and when to let something go and hold your temper is always handy.



DomAviator -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/2/2008 7:36:48 PM)

Why get married? Just go to a bar. Find an obnoxious bitch you simply cannot stand.... Then give her your credit cards, a car, let her live in your house , etc....



Vendaval -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/2/2008 7:41:41 PM)

That's a very lovely image...[sm=buddies.gif]
 
Perhaps being able to be "in your cups" is a positive attribute as well.


quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

Drinking the same wine, but from different cups (inspired by Khalil Gibran).



servantheart -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/2/2008 7:55:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SugarMyChurro

Sounds like a loser "opposites attract" script.

[:-]

That's not going to work. Find someone of like mind that's going down the same road as you. You have to be looking at the same goal posts along the way too.


I agree that being with someone of like mind is important, but there are always going to be interests that aren't shared.  I believe it's extremely important to learn about the things your partner is into because doing so allows a glimpse into another facet of their heart/mind/soul. 



LushLadyLilith -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/2/2008 7:56:59 PM)

A lobotomy?

(Sorry- couldn't resist.)
 
Lilith



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