RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage?

RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (Full Version)

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tsatske -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/2/2008 8:01:37 PM)
Lilith - Just the fact that it came from someone who has named herself Lilith made that a GREAT post! [sm=cheering.gif]

LotusSong -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/2/2008 9:56:41 PM)
I've been married for 35 years this August. The major skill needed is .. negotiation. Then comes compromise coupled with just being fair. My husband and I share duties. Whoever feels like cooking- cooks. If there is a "chore" you are better at then the other.. the best one does it. There is none of this "me man.. you woman" crapola. We just see each other as an individual and cut each other slack.

pinksugarsub -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/2/2008 9:58:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Vendaval What are the skills, behaviors, attributes and post-modern information age devices needed for marriage in the 21st Century? [sm=dance.gif] Please reply in your humble or not so humble opinions with beating each other up non-consensually. [sm=pillowfight.gif] i can name one that i'm not sure i possess any longer; the ability to live in the same dwelling with another person and not go batsh*t. pinksugarsub

Bethnai -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/3/2008 12:00:05 AM)
Fun. I don't care if your married or not. Real fun. Where both parties truly enjoy each other doing whatever in whatever type of relationship they have. The things that remind you why you fell in love in the first time as opposed to the I'm stuck syndrome. Compromised fun is essential. His enjoyment is spending time hitting a computer store and then a hardware store and yours is Pier 1 and hitting the Goombay Festival. It can all be done in a day with room left over. Know thyself. I'm not the marrying type. (Why I shouldn't respond but could not stop myself.) I mean know how to release your own stress. It is not fair to ask the other party to take the brunt of your shit with a never ending stop due to whatever problem your having. At some point the other party is going to say, "Then figure out a way to get over it." Respect that parties way of getting over it. Know that if your life experience is very different and "tinges" your POV and the other party does not have that, the other party may be jealous or unyielding in ways that you can't tolerate. I think one of the greatest things about power exchange is that the boundaries are clearly set. Usually. I think relationships fail or begin to fail over petty, highschool, power issues. I think power exchange forces one to sit down and think about how to present an issue, this is the data I have, this is where I am coming from, this is why I think this is for the best or worst. This opens the way for communication and allows either party to step back (verbally) and rethink. It demands respect. Yes, I could have just said respect the other person, sometimes I just feel the need to type. I

meatcleaver -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/3/2008 12:57:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Vendaval What are the skills, behaviors, attributes and post-modern information age devices needed for marriage in the 21st Century? Senility

Hippiekinkster -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/3/2008 1:58:15 AM)
Likely won't get married again. Likely will have one more LTR. Having said that, No fucking way will I ever have separate bedrooms again. I want to be there next to her when I tell her, "Good night, baby, I love you," and in the morning, "Good morning, honey, I love you." I want to watch her sleep and hear her little snores and feel her next to me. See that little bit of drool we all get sometimes. Smell her hair. Touch her. Wake her up with a slow, gentle fuck. Non-negotiable.

leakylee -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/3/2008 2:09:26 AM)
seperate houses??

stella41b -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/3/2008 2:45:08 AM)
The ability to talk things through. Let her talk whilst you sit through it.

LaTigresse -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/3/2008 7:41:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kittinSol Seriously good communication skills and no mindfucks. Mindfucks, however attractive they may seem at times, are a marriage killer: talk, talk, talk. And make love. A lot. An intense sex life is an absolute must. I agree with you on the communication but the sex part..........not so much so.[:D]

tsatske -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/3/2008 7:51:49 AM)
Hippie, I worry always about vanilla married friends who don't have the sense to go to bed together. Even if you have only one bed, if you don't sleep in it at the same time, what use is that? If a couple, because of the evil forces of real life, find themselves on such different schedules that they MUST sleep at different times, the one with the most 'unusual' sleep pattern should make the effort to lay down with his partner until they go to sleep, and then get back up. Better if they both do that. sleeping together is necessary for couple health, IMO.

wandersalone -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/3/2008 8:03:33 AM)
The majority of people whom I talk with that are in unhappy relationships have forgotten how to sit down, look their partner in the eyes, ask how they are and be truly interested in the answer. So a necessary skill in my mind would be the willingness to spend 5 or ten minutes a day with both sitting down together and talking.

Hippiekinkster -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/3/2008 10:02:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tsatske Hippie, I worry always about vanilla married friends who don't have the sense to go to bed together. Even if you have only one bed, if you don't sleep in it at the same time, what use is that? If a couple, because of the evil forces of real life, find themselves on such different schedules that they MUST sleep at different times, the one with the most 'unusual' sleep pattern should make the effort to lay down with his partner until they go to sleep, and then get back up. Better if they both do that. sleeping together is necessary for couple health, IMO. I could not agree with you more. I made that mistake before; won't make it again.

RCdc -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/3/2008 10:04:59 AM)
The same applies to marriage as it does any long term relationship. Our sig applies [;)] the.dark.

Emperor1956 -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/3/2008 10:07:06 AM)
FR. Communication. Mutual respect. Affection. Shared goals and ideals. Its gotten us thru 29+ years. Oh...and having a stable of sexy poly friends helps, too grin E.

kittinSol -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/3/2008 10:07:53 AM)
Tart [8D] .

Emperor1956 -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/3/2008 10:09:53 AM)
quote: Tart [8D] . HEY! Careful where you point that thing! E.

Irishknight -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/3/2008 10:21:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tsatske Hippie, I worry always about vanilla married friends who don't have the sense to go to bed together. Even if you have only one bed, if you don't sleep in it at the same time, what use is that? If a couple, because of the evil forces of real life, find themselves on such different schedules that they MUST sleep at different times, the one with the most 'unusual' sleep pattern should make the effort to lay down with his partner until they go to sleep, and then get back up. Better if they both do that. sleeping together is necessary for couple health, IMO. I used to agree with this idea. Then I married an insomniac. If I roll over in my sleep, she wakes up and stays awake for 3 or 4 more hours. Since I snore, this compounds the problem. If I demand to sleep in the same bed with her, she will get no sleep and she will suffer. My wife getting sleep and not becoming a sleep deprived homicidal lunatic is far more important than us laying down beside one another.

KatyLied -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/3/2008 10:22:52 AM)
For me, the biggest skill I would need would be the ability to tolerate another person in my space 24/7, I think it would be difficult after 11 years of independence.

came4U -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/3/2008 11:57:43 AM)
earplugs.

hizgeorgiapeach -> RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? (6/3/2008 12:11:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DomAviator Why get married? Just go to a bar. Find an obnoxious bitch you simply cannot stand.... Then give her your credit cards, a car, let her live in your house , etc.... And here I was thinking that's usually how it worked out in reverse for me... find someone I can't stand, have them lay around on my couch, whine if I don't let them drive my car, and spend all my money - usually while telling me that I'm not doing enough...

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